Relationships: How to Stop the Drama in Your Relationship

In my work as a couples therapist in New York City I work with many couples who struggle with emotional drama and chaos in their relationship (see my article: How to Reduce Emotional Reactivity in Your Relationship).

Stop the Drama in Your Relationship

What is Drama in a Relationship?

Drama in a relationship refers to unnecessary conflict, emotional manipulation or the creation of problems (where they don't really exist) to get attention or control the relationship including:

• Attention Seeking: Some individuals in a relationship create drama in an effort to feel validated by their partner--often at the partner's emotional expense.

• Poor Communication Skills: When one or both people lack good communication skills, they can struggle to express their emotional needs or resolve conflict in a healthy way.

Stop the Drama in Your Relationship

• Unrealistic Expectations: When partners don't have realistic expectations of each other, this can lead to drama, especially if they don't know how to communicate well (see my article: Are You and Your Partner on the Same Wavelength About Your Relationship?).

• Projecting Emotional Pain: Partners can project their own emotional pain onto each other which usually leads to conflict.

• Past Unresolved Psychological Trauma: Partners can unconsciously project their unresolved trauma from the past onto their current relationship (see my article: How Unresolved Trauma Can Affect Your Relationship).

What Are the Signs of Drama in a Relationship?

A couple might have all or some of the following signs:

• Constant arguments, bickering or fights

• A partner trying to control the relationship by claiming to be "right" all the time

• A partner constantly needing attention and validation from the other partner 

Stop the Drama in Your Relationship

• A partner who is self centered and selfish most of the time so everything is about them or what they want

• A partner who constantly twists reality, tries to make the other partner doubt their sanity or memory (see my article: What Are the 7 Stages of Gaslighting in a Relationship?)

• A partner who doesn't show interest in the other partner's concerns or well-being

• A partner who doesn't apologize or take responsibility for their actions

Clinical Vignette

The following clinical vignette, which is a composite of many different cases, illustrates a couple struggling with drama in their relationship and how they were helped in couples therapy:

Sue and John

When Sue and John first started dating, they both felt their relationship could flourish and grow. But six months later, they were arguing a lot and breaking up every few weeks.

Stop the Drama in Your Relationship

They decided they either needed to seek help in couples therapy or go their separate ways so, rather than break up again, they sought help.

Over time, in couples therapy they learned how unresolved trauma from both of their childhoods was getting played out in their relationship.

Sue's parents were emotionally neglectful of her and so in her relationship with John, she sought constant attention and validation from him in a highly agitated state--to the point where he felt she was emotionally exhausting him. Sue realized in couples therapy she was re-enacting unresolved childhood trauma in her relationship with John.

John was raised by a single mother who was highly anxious most of the time. She looked to him, when he was a child, for validation and attention. This heavy emotional burden was more than he could endure as a child. As a result, he learned to ignore her and fend for himself. In couples therapy he recognized that he was doing this to Sue too without realizing it.

Learn to Break the Negative Cycle in Couples Therapy

Their negative dynamic was the source of many of their arguments until they learned, over time, in couples therapy to identify their negative cycle so they could break their negative cycle.

How to Stop Drama in Your Relationship

• Learn to develop healthy communication skills

• Learn to address and work through unresolved trauma in individual therapy

• Learn how to identify and manage your emotions

• Set realistic expectations for the relationship

Get Help in Couples Therapy

It can be challenging to change unhealthy relationship patterns on your own.

Getting Help in Couples Therapy

If you have attempted to work through your problems without success, consider seeking help in couples therapy.

A skilled couples therapist can help you to identify and break the negative cycle in your relationship so you can have a more fulfilling relationship.

About Me

I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, AEDP, EFT (for couples), Somatic Experiencing and Sex Therapist.

I have over 20 years of experience helping individual adults and couples (see my article: What is Emotionally Focused Therapy For Couples - EFT? ).

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Setting Boundaries: How to Stop Being Enmeshed With Your Family

I began a discussion about enmeshment in an earlier article, Overcoming Shame in an Enmeshed Family.

Overcoming Enmeshment in Your Family

Topics in the Current Article

In the current article, I'm covering:

• What is Enmeshment?
• What Causes Enmeshment in Families?
• How to Overcome Enmeshment
• Getting Help in Therapy to Overcome Enmeshment

What is Enmeshment?

If you grew up in an enmeshed family you probably had at least some of the following issues:

• There was a lack of physical and emotional boundaries.

• There was a tendency to focus on what's best for other family members and not what's best for you.

• You put other family members' happiness above your own.

Overcoming Enmeshment in Your Family

• You feel guilt and shame, as an adult, if you put your needs above other family members. For instance,  you might not want to call your mother every week, but you feel guilty and ashamed if you don't because you know she wants you to call weekly.

• Your family's self worth is dependent upon your success.

• Your family expects you to share everything about your life--even things you might want to keep private. They get offended if you say something in your life is private.

• Your family might have imposed their ideas on you when you were a young adult instead of encouraging you to follow your own hopes and dreams. If you wanted to follow your own aspirations, they felt offended and you felt guilty and ashamed.

• Parents in enmeshed families tend to treat their children like friends instead of children because there is a lack of boundaries.

• You tend to avoid conflicts, even now as an adult, because you have difficulty setting limits.

• You lack a strong sense of who you are.

• You absorb other people's emotions around you because you lack appropriate boundaries (this is different from being an empath).

What Causes Enmeshment in Families?

Enmeshment usually develops in dysfunctional families and repeats the pattern from one generation to the next (see my article: 

Overcoming Enmeshment in Your Family

It can be difficult to pinpoint when an enmeshed family dynamic started since it might go back generations and family members often have little to no awareness about the enmeshment.

Enmeshment often develops due to unresolved trauma, mental health problems, substance abuse, compulsive gambling or other related issues.

What is the Impact of Enmeshment in Adult Relationships?

The following characteristics are common for adults who grew up in enmeshed families?

• Low self esteem
  

• Anxiety
  

• Fear of abandonment
  

• Being out of touch with your feelings

• Feeling burdened by guilt and shame

Overcoming Enmeshment in Your Family

• An overdeveloped sense of responsibility

• Poor personal boundaries

• Difficulty setting boundaries with others

• Codependency
  

• Difficulty with assertiveness

• Difficulty with emotional regulation 

• Difficulty calming or soothing yourself emotionally

Clinical Vignette

The following clinical vignette, which is a composite of many cases, illustrates the negative impact of enmeshed family dynamics and how psychotherapy can help:

Maria

Maria grew up in crowded family home where she shared a bed with her two older sisters. She had no privacy. 

When Maria was 15 years old, her oldest sister found Maria's diary, she read it to their parents, grandparents and siblings and they laughed at what Maria wrote about feeling sad.

Her parents and grandparents invalidated her feelings and told her she had nothing to feel sad about since she had a roof over her head, food and clothing.  They told her that only someone who had something terrible to hide from the family would even want to write in a diary.  Then, her father tore up her diary and threw it in the garbage. He told her she should be ashamed of herself for what she wrote.

When she turned 16 years old, Maria's maternal uncle, who came to live with her family, began touching her inappropriately when no one was around. He told her that he would hurt her sisters if she told anyone about the sexual abuse (see my article: Overcoming the Trauma of Sexual Abuse).

One day her mother happened to come home early and she found her brother touching Maria's breasts. She threw her brother out of the house and she also blamed Maria for the sexual abuse.  

She told Maria it was her fault that the uncle touched her inappropriately. Then, she made Maria promise not to tell Maria's father because she feared what he might do to the uncle if he found out.

When it was time for Maria to choose a major in college, her parents insisted that she become a teacher--even though Maria wanted to become a medical doctor. Her parents told her that women shouldn't become doctors because they would have to see men's naked bodies and this was shameful for a woman.

Maria was upset that her parents were trying to force her to choose a career she didn't want so she sought help from a professor who referred her to the college counseling center.  

In counseling, Maria learned to set boundaries with her family--even though they didn't like it and they threatened to stop paying her tuition.

Overcoming Enmeshment in Your Family

Her counselor helped Maria to get a scholarship and a room in a dorm so she could live independently from her family.  She took pre-med courses and, eventually, she went to medical school.

While she was in medical school, she sought help from a trauma therapist so she could deal with the impact of her enmeshed family, including the sexual abuse.

Even though her family didn't like that Maria was making her own decisions and setting boundaries with them, they accepted it reluctantly.  

While she was in medical school, Maria met her husband-to-be and she learned to have a healthy relationship with him with the tools she learned in therapy.

How to Overcome Enmeshment

To become a mature adult, children need to learn to become their own person at stages that are appropriate for their development at the time.  This is part of the individuation process.

Individuation means being your own person and not just an extension of your parents and other family members.

When you are appropriately individuated from your family, you can maintain your relationships with them with appropriate boundaries. You also learn how to be your own person physically, emotionally and psychologically.

To overcome enmeshment, you need to learn to:

• Set appropriate boundaries with family members (see my article: How to Set Boundaries Without Guilt).

• Discover who you are as an individual apart from your family.

• Learn to stop feeling ashamed and guilty if what's right for you might make your family unhappy.

• Get help in therapy when trying to overcome enmeshment becomes too challenging.

Getting Help in Therapy

Overcoming enmeshment can be challenging.

Getting Help in Therapy

A licensed mental health professional with the right expertise can help you to develop the skills you need to overcome enmeshment and develop healthier relationships.

Rather than struggling on your own, seek help from a skilled psychotherapist so you can lead a more meaningful life.

About Me

I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT (for couples), Somatic Experiencing and Sex Therapy.

As a trauma therapist, I have helped many individual adults and couples to overcome trauma, including enmeshed relationships.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

The Anxiety of Waiting For the Other Shoe to Drop Due to Unresolved Trauma

A history of unresolved trauma can affect your outlook on life (see my article: How Trauma Therapy Can Help You to Overcome Unresolved Trauma).

Even when people, who had childhood trauma, overcome adversity and they are no longer struggling under traumatic circumstances in their current life, they can often experience anticipatory anxiety about the future--like they're waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Unresolved Trauma and Anxiety

Many people who haven't had a traumatic childhood can experience this type of anticipatory anxiety after dealing with trauma in adulthood.

Clinical Vignettes

The following clinical vignettes, which are composite cases to protect confidentiality, illustrate how unresolved trauma can create a sense of anticipatory anxiety and foreboding about the future--like waiting for the other shoe to drop:

Sara: Unresolved Trauma and Anxiety

• Sara: When Sara was seven years old, her father's job loss plunged the family into dire financial straits. While her father looked for work, her mother took three jobs just to meet the family's basic needs. Her parents had so much shame about their financial situation that they made Sara promise not to talk about it with anyone outside their immediate family. It took her father two years to find another job that could support the family and, eventually, they were financially stable again. But Sara was profoundly affected by these childhood experiences. As an adult, she had a persistent sense that, at any moment, her circumstances could change and she could experience financial ruin. When her company began layoffs, even though she was assured by her manager that she would be spared, she became so anxious that she sought help in therapy to overcome her anxiety and unresolved trauma (see my article: Why is Unresolved Trauma From the Past Affecting You Now?)

John: Unresolved Trauma and Anxiety

• John: John sought help in therapy after he was treated for prostate cancer. Even though his doctor assured him that he had an excellent chance of living a long healthy life after John was cancer free for two years, John had persistent anxiety about the possibility of the cancer coming back or that he would experience another serious medical problem. Prior to his cancer diagnosis, John had experienced episodes of anxiety whenever he had to make major changes in his life. With regard to his family history, he told his therapist that his mother was an extremely anxious person due to her own unresolved childhood trauma. His mother had a terrible sense of foreboding whenever the family encountered even the possibility of change. When John's father was told his company might relocate down South, his father and mother knew they didn't want to move out of New York City,  so he began looking for another job immediately. John's father wasn't worried about finding a comparable job because he was a much sought after professional. But John's mother became so anxious because she recalled her own family's need to flee from a fascist regime.  Her sense of worry made her sick. Fortunately, the father was able to find another job at a higher paying salary within a relatively short period of time. But the mother continued to experience persistent bouts of anxiety and foreboding. While he was in therapy, John learned the connection between his anxiety and his mother's unresolved trauma (see my article: What is Intergenerational Trauma?).

Ellen: Unresolved Trauma and Anxiety

• Ellen: After Ellen's best friend, Alice, died suddenly from natural causes, Ellen felt like her world was completely shaken. She had never lost anyone close to her and Ellen felt existential dread about the possibility of her own death. Prior to Alice's death, Ellen would have occasional worries about death--even though Ellen was in excellent health. Although she had other close friends, Ellen felt lost without Alice, who had been her best friend since they were in elementary school. After listening to Ellen talk about her grief and her anxiety for a few months, her friends became impatient with her and told her she needed to "move on." But Alice didn't know how to move on. She didn't even know how to mourn. When Ellen sought help in therapy, she told her therapist she had a great childhood, she had loving parents, she had a loving husband and two wonderful adult children. There was no prior trauma in her history that seemed to be getting triggered. Her feeling that any moment the other shoe would drop was related to the loss of Alice, so her therapist helped Ellen to grieve and Ellen felt comfort in being able to process her loss in therapy without any of the judgment she experienced with her friends. After she completed therapy, Ellen felt she had the usual concerns that middle age people have about death, but her concerns didn't feel as catastrophic as they had been when Alice first died. Even though she felt better, she realized that she was forever changed by the loss of her best friend. But with help from her therapist, Ellen began to look forward to upcoming events in her life in a way she wasn't able to do immediately after Alice's death (see my article: Allowing Room For Grief).

Conclusion

In each of the composite vignettes the clients were affected by past or recent unresolved trauma so that they were apprehensive--even when it was clear that there was no need to worry about their current situation.

Traumatic events can create feelings of anticipatory anxiety and foreboding--even when a person's logical mind tells them that there seems to be no apparent reason for these feelings under their present circumstances.

Even though these experiences are common, people who have never experienced anything like this before might not understand. 

Well-meaning friends and family might tell you to "just get over it" or to "move on" and when you can't "move on", they might be surprised or even judgmental. 

Getting Help in Trauma Therapy

If you have unresolved trauma that causes you to experience feelings of anxiety and foreboding, you could benefit from working with a trauma therapist (see my article: What is a Trauma Therapist?).

Getting Help in Trauma Therapy

A skilled trauma therapist can help you to work through unresolved trauma using therapy modalities specifically designed to help clients overcome trauma.

These modalities include (but are not limited to):

• EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) Therapy

• AEDP (Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy)

• Somatic Experiencing (also known as S.E.)

• Parts Work Therapy (including IFS and Ego States Therapy)

• Hypnotherapy (also known as Clinical Hypnosis)

Rather than struggling on your own, seek help from an experienced trauma therapist so you  can overcome trauma and lead a more fulfilling life.

About Me

I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT (for couples), Parts Work, Somatic Experiencing and Sex Therapist.

I have over 20 years of experiencing helping individual adults and couples to overcome trauma.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742- 2624 during business hours or email me.

What Are Transactional Relationships?

I've written many prior articles about relationships. I've included a list of a few of them at the bottom of this post.  You can also go to my website to find more under the headings of "Relationships" and "EFT Couples Therapy."

Transactional Relationships

In the current article I'm focusing on transactional relationships (see my article: Are You in a Transactional Relationship?).

What Are Transactional Relationships?

Transactional relationships are relationships where each person does things for the other in anticipation of getting something back in return. 

Transactional relationships are usually conditional in the sense that one or both people have expectations of what they want to get in return based on what they are willing to give. Usually if one or both people aren't getting what they want, the relationship ends.

Transactional relationships are based on reciprocity: An expected give-and-take between partners in the relationship. 

In transactional relationships, individuals prioritize what they can get from their partner, including financial support, social status, sex or other personal needs, over genuine emotional connection.  In that sense, these relationships are often superficial and lacking in emotional depth.

What Are Examples of Transactional Relationships?

The following are some examples of highly transactional relationships:

• Marriages of Convenience: These relationships focus on things like a visa, social status, and financial gain rather than love and genuine emotional connection. 

• Transactional Dating: These are dating relationships where one or both people have an expectation of what they will get in the relationship. An example of this would be that a heterosexual man buys a woman dinner and expects sex in exchange or vice versa. There is little to no emotional connection or commitment.

• Friends With Benefits: Most of these relationships focus on the convenience of sex between the partners with little or no expectation of commitment or emotional intimacy (see my article:  What Are the Pros and Cons of Friends With Benefits?).

Transactional Relationships: Friends With Benefits

• Career-Oriented Relationships: These relationships focus primarily on how their partner(s) can help them advance their career rather than focusing on emotional connection.

Transactional Relationships: Sugar Relationships

• Sugar Relationships (also known as Sugar Dating): These relationships usually involve one person being financially successful and supporting another financially or providing other concrete benefits to another person, who is often younger and more attractive, in exchange for sex or companionship. These are often short-term relationships with little to no expectation of commitment or emotional connection.

What Are the Characteristics of Transactional Relationships?

The following are some of the common characteristics of transactional relationships:

• Expectations: Both partners usually understand the expectations involved. For instance, if one person is paying for dinner with the expectation of sex, the other person is usually aware of this and either goes along with it because this is what they want (or need) or they don't necessarily like it, but they go along with it for their own personal reasons--even when they might feel ambivalent about it (see my article: What is the "Good Enough" Relationship? No, It Doesn't Mean Settling).

• Goal Oriented: There is a goal-oriented mindset in these types of relationships. This can involve financial goals, companionship, sex and so on. There is often little to no emotional spontaneity in transactional relationships. This can leave one or both people feeling lonely in the relationship due to the lack of emotional connection (see my article: Feeling Lonely in a Relationship).

Transactional Relationships: Goal-Oriented Relationships

• Limited or No Emotional Depth: Emotional connection isn't usually the focus of transactional romantic relationships--although this doesn't mean there isn't any emotional connection. It just means it's not the primary focus because of the goal-oriented nature of the relationship (see my article: Vulnerability as a Pathway to Greater Emotional and Sexual Intimacy).

Transactional Relationships: Limited Commitment and Emotional Depth

• Difference in Power Dynamics: There is often a difference in power in these relationships where one person has more power including money, social status or other resources. However, it can be difficult to distinguish who has the power at any given time in certain relationships. For instance, in sugar relationships, even though the younger and more attractive person, who is providing sex or companionship, might appear to have less power, they might actually have more power in certain relationships. They are often the ones who dictate the terms based on their desirability. This is generally true in most transactional relationships. It's not always easy to say who really has the power at any given time especially in transactional relationships and power  dynamics might change (see my article: Are You Giving Away Your Power to Someone Who Doesn't Treat You Well?).

How Can Couples Therapy Help?

If you and your partner are on the same wavelength in a transactional relationship, you might be satisfied, at least for now, with your relationship. 

But if you're not happy with the relationship dynamics and you are either trying to understand the complex dynamic or you want to change the dynamics, you could benefit from seeking help in couples therapy (see my article: What is Emotionally Focused Therapy For Couples (EFT)?).

A skilled couples therapist can help you both to understand the dynamics in your relationship and, if both partners agree, try to make changes so you're both happier.

If there's no possibility of change, an experienced couples therapist can help you to end the relationship with integrity and compassion.

Getting Help in Couples Therapy

If you have been struggling in your relationship, you could benefit from seeking help from a licensed mental health professional who has the expertise to help you with your problem (see my article: What Happens in Couples Therapy?)

Getting Help in Couples Therapy

Rather than struggling on your own, seek help so you can live a more fulfilling life.

About Me

I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT (for couples), Somatic Experiencing and Sex Therapist.

I have over 20 years of experience helping individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Also See My Articles About Relationships

What If Your Partner Isn't Ready For Couples Therapy?

Dating vs Being in a Relationship

Dating For a Lasting Relationship: The Spark vs the Slow Burn

What Do You Need to Feel Closer to Your Partner?

What is Trauma-Related Dissociation?

Daydreaming and dissociation are related to each other, but they differ in terms of their duration, severity and underlying mechanisms.

What is the Difference Between Daydreaming and Dissociation?

Daydreaming is usually a harmless activity where an individual imagines certain people, places or events. 

Daydreaming is Pleasant and Relaxing

Daydreaming is often a pleasant and relaxing experience (unless someone spends an excessive amount of time engaged in it to the detriment of other things in their life). 

Daydreaming, getting absorbed in a book and forgetting the miles driven on a familiar road are all light forms of dissociation.

Dissociation involves a detachment or interruption from either thoughts, feelings, current surroundings, memories or an experience of oneself.  Under ordinary circumstances, light dissociation is a temporary detachment or interruption.

Dissociation is a common response to stress.

Dissociation is also a common response to trauma and, under severe conditions, it's a response to posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) which was formerly known as Multiple Personality Disorder.

Dissociation is on a continuum. Mild dissociation can last up to a few minutes minutes and, on the other end of the continuum, severe dissociation can last days or longer.

Comparing daydreaming to more serious dissociation: Ordinary daydreaming is usually not disruptive to one's life, but severe dissociation can be a distressing experience.

What is the Connection Between Trauma and Dissociation?

Dissociation is an unconscious defense mechanism.

During a traumatic event, the fight or flight response can get activated.

Trauma-Related Dissociation

If an individual is unable to fight or flee, the freeze response gets activated as a way to protect the individual through dissociation.  

One example of the freeze response is the "deer in the headlights" reaction. 

So, for instance, if someone is walking down a deserted street and someone suddenly jumps out to attack them, the person who was walking alone might freeze as part of being shocked.  

The freeze response is an unconscious defense mechanism. As part of the freeze response, the person who is shocked might be unable to speak, run or fight because they are immobilized by the traumatic shock of the attack.

What Are the Signs of Dissociation?

Signs and symptoms of dissociation include (but are not limited to):

• Feeling disconnected from your body, also known as an "out of body experience" (depersonalization)

• Feeling separate from the environment around you. The world around you might feel unreal or distorted (derealization)

• Experiencing lightheadedness, dizziness or a racing heart

• Feeling emotionally numb or disconnected

• Having difficulty feeling emotions

• Feeling unsure of who you are

• Forgetting significant events or times in your life or personal information which could include big gaps in your memories, including memory gaps in your family history

• Feeling disconnected from your body so that you don't feel pain when you would normally expect to feel pain

• Experiencing flashbacks including emotional flashbacks

What Are Some Ways to Cope With Dissociation? (non-DID dissociation)

Some of the following activities might be helpful:

• Writing in a journal
  

• Practicing mindfulness
  

Mindfulness and Square Breathing to Cope With Dissociation

• Practicing Square Breathing
  

• Making self care a priority
  

Getting Help in Trauma Therapy

The suggestions above for coping with dissociation can be good strategies to manage your dissociation, but if you want to overcome trauma-related dissociation, you need to seek help in trauma therapy (see my article: What is a Trauma Therapist?).

Getting Help in Trauma Therapy

Regular talk therapy often has limited success for working through unresolved trauma, which is why certain forms of trauma therapy, like EMDR, AEDP, Somatic Experiencing, IFS, Ego States Therapy and clinical hypnosis, were developed.

All of the above modalities are Experiential Therapies (see my article: Why Experiential Therapy is More Effective Than Talk Therapy to Overcome Trauma).

Unresolved trauma can linger for months, years or even a lifetime, so getting help in trauma therapy sooner rather than later is important.

Once you have worked through unresolved trauma, you can lead a more fulfilling life.

About Me

I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, Somatic Experiencing, IFS, Ego States and Sex Therapist.

With over 20 years of experience as a trauma therapist, I have helped many individual adults and couples work through trauma.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Compulsive Gambling and "March Madness"

The NCAA Division Basketball Tournament, also known as "March Madness," is just around the corner. 

March Madness is one of the most challenging times for compulsive gamblers. Sports gambling has become a very popular pass time, especially among college students. Online gambling is a big business. 

Compulsive Gambling and March Madness

Online gambling brought in over $5 billion from gamblers, some as young as high school age. High school and college students, who are very savvy about using these online sites, are getting caught up in gambling, and many of them are becoming compulsive gamblers.

You might think that completing a tournament bracket for $5 or $10 is harmless, but for some people, it's the beginning of compulsive gambling. Just like some people can have a couple of drinks and not become an alcoholic, some people can gamble and not become a compulsive gambler. But for many people, it's just the beginning of a downward spiral on a slippery slope.

What Are Some of the Warning Signs of Compulsive Gambling?

• Preoccupation with gambling: thinking about it frequently, talking about it a lot, checking the stats often

• Feeling a "high" or "rush" before placing a bet

• A need to bet increasing amounts of money to get that same "high" or "rush"

• Repeated attempts to stop that are unsuccessful

• A need to continue gambling when you're winning

• A need to return to gambling to chase losses

• Feeling irritable and uncomfortable when you try to stop

• Jeopardizing family relationships or your job due to gambling activities

• Borrowing money from family and friends due to gambling activities

• Using gambling activities as a maladaptive coping strategy to deal with stress or uncomfortable feelings or situations

If you have one or more of the above warning signs and symptoms, you have a compulsive gambling problem and you need help. Just like any other addictive or compulsive behavior, compulsive gambling is a progressive disorder that usually gets worse over time.

For more information about compulsive gambling, go to: http://www.gamblinghelp.org

About Me
I am a licensed psychotherapist in New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, EFT (for couples), AEDP, Somatic Experiencing and Sex Therapist. 

I have helped many clients to overcome their addictive and compulsive behavior so they can lead fulfilling lives.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.