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I've written about emotional numbing in prior articles (see my article: How Therapy Can Help You to Take Down the "Wall" You Built Around Yourself).
In the current article, I want to dive deeper into the subject of emotional numbing that started as a survival strategy and ended up imprisoning you with social isolation, an inability to feel emotions deeply, including joy, and creating stagnation in your life.
What is Emotional Numbing?
Emotional numbing is an unconscious psychological state where an individual feels detached or indifferent. They are often unable to experience, process or express emotions.
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| Overcoming Emotional Numbing |
What Are Some of the Symptoms of Emotional Numbing?
Someone who is experiencing emotional numbing can have some or all of the following symptoms:
- Flat Affect: A lack of emotional response, often described as "robotic" or indifferent
- Reduced Emotional Range: An inability to feel high excitement or deep sadness
- Detachment: Feeling emotionally and psychologically disconnected from others and, possibly, from surroundings
- Indiscriminate Blocking: Emotional numbing blocks all emotions including sadness, joy, excitement and gratitude
- Loss of a Sense of Self: Chronic detachment can lead to loss of identity, which can make you feel like a passive observer in your life
- Avoidance and Isolation: Withdrawing from people and social activities
- Energy Depletion: Maintaining internal "walls" takes a lot of psychological energy which can lead to chronic fatigue or burnout
What Causes Emotional Numbing?
Emotional numbing can be caused by unresolved psychological trauma, PTSD (posttraumatic stress disorder), severe stress, grief, burnout or a side effect of medication (see my article: What is the Difference Between Trauma and PTSD?).
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| Overcoming Emotional Numbing |
Emotional numbing often starts during childhood as a survival strategy or defense mechanism which is adaptive at the time because the child is in a psychologically overwhelming environment at home.
In that sense, emotional numbing helps to mitigate overwhelming stress and trauma which would be detrimental to the child.
However, when the child becomes an adult, emotional numbing is no longer adaptive because it prevents the individual from being fully present in personal relationships, friendships, social activities and at work.
As an adult, chronic emotional numbness puts a strain on relationships and daily life.
Clinical Vignette
The following clinical vignette,which is a composite of many cases, illustrates how emotional numbing which once protected a young child in a dysfunctional family from being overwhelmed but created problems later on as an adult. The vignette also illustrates how trauma therapy can help.
Nick
When Nick was growing up, he learned to cope with his parents' constant arguments by going into his room and "spacing out" with video games.
After a while, he got so good at numbing himself that he felt like he was in his own world apart from everyone and everything else.
As an adult in his first relationship, Nick had problems connecting emotionally with his girlfriend. She complained that she experienced him as emotionally detached and indifferent about her and their relationship.
At the time, Nick had no awareness about how he was numbing himself because it had become so automatic for him. At the point when he thought his girlfriend might end their relationship, Nick sought help in therapy.
Nick's therapist helped Nick to realize that the "wall" he created around himself as a child protected him from the chaos between his parents, but that same "wall" now came with a cost because he had problems connecting emotionally with his girlfriend and others.
His therapist, who was a trauma therapist, helped Nick to gradually take down his protective "wall" by working on the unresolved trauma from his childhood.
Using a combination of EMDR therapy and Parts Work therapy, over time, Nick worked through his childhood trauma so that he no longer felt the need to numb himself emotionally (see my article: Why is Experiential Therapy More Effective Than Traditional Talk Therapy to Overcome Trauma?).
The work in therapy was neither quick nor easy, but Nick was able to connect emotionally with his girlfriend as he worked through his unresolved trauma.
Conclusion
Like all defense mechanisms, emotional numbing occurs on an unconscious level and it's usually related to trauma.
Trauma therapy can help to work through the original trauma so there is no longer a need for emotional numbing.
Getting Help in Trauma Therapy
Working with a licensed mental health professional who is a trauma therapist can help you to work through unresolved trauma and emotional numbing (see my article: What is a Trauma Therapist?).
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| Getting Help in Trauma Therapy |
Rather than struggling on your own, seek help from a trauma therapist so you can live a more fulfilling life.
About Me
I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT (for couples), Parts Work (IFS and Ego States Therapy), Somatic Experiencing and Certified Sex Therapist.
As a trauma therapist, I have over 25 years of experience helping individual adults and couples.
To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.
To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.
Also See My Articles:
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