Looking at Depression From an IFS Parts Work Therapy Perspective

As I have discussed in prior articles, IFS (Internal Family Systems) Parts Work Therapy is a form of Experiential Therapy (see links at the end of this article for more articles about IFS).

Looking at Depression From an IFS Perspective

From an IFS perspective, depression is viewed as a "part" or a collection of "parts" rather than a permanent identity or a sign of a problem in the brain.

Depression From an IFS Therapy Perspective

In IFS, the mind is naturally subdivided into parts (or subpersonalities). 

As I discussed in my prior article, What is the Connection Between IFS Parts Work Therapy and Neural Networks?, the word "parts" is a metaphor for these naturally occurring subdivisions that everyone has. This makes the language of IFS understandable and accessible to clients.

In IFS, depression is typically viewed as either a proactive part, a reactive part or a wounded part depending upon the function of the part:

• Depression as a Proactive Part ("The Shield"): Depression can act as a protective proactive part where the objective is for the part to act as a preemptive "shutdown" mechanism.  The goal is to keep you safe from taking risks that could lead to failure, rejection or overwhelming disappointment. In IFS language, this part is called a "Manager" due to its proactive role.

Depression From an IFS Therapy Perspective

• Depression as a Reactive Part ("The Circuit Breaker): When emotional pain from the outside world is sudden or overwhelming, this reactive part can step in as a way to numb you emotionally. The goal is to instantly extinguish anxiety, shame or grief. This part is called a "Firefighter" due to its sudden reactive function.

• Depression as a Wounded Part ("The Wound"): This is often a young wounded part of you that is stuck in unresolved trauma. This part isn't trying to protect you. Instead, it carries the burden of the early emotional wounds ("I'm unlovable" or "I'm no good" or "I'm powerless"). This part is called an "Exile". The Exile is frozen in the past at whatever age the trauma occurred. The feelings it carries are raw and unprocessed. When someone is triggered, it is the Exile that experiences the trigger. However, the Exile, as the name implies, usually remains below the surface (unless triggered) and what is usually more apparent is either a the proactive Manager or reactive Firefighter.

How is IFS Therapy Different From Traditional Therapy For Depression?

Traditional therapy usually treats depression as a single entity. This can leave clients feeling consumed by it. 

Depression From an IFS Therapy Perspective

IFS therapy teaches clients how to "unblend" from the part of them that is depressed so instead of a client saying "I'm depressed", an IFS client would say, "A part of me is depressed."

This shift allows an IFS client to access their Core Self with the guidance from the IFS therapist so they can approach their depression from a curious and compassionate stance rather than be consumed by it.  

How Does the IFS Therapist Verify the Role of the Depressed Part?

An IFS therapist tracks the depressed part by facilitating communication between the client's Core Self and the depressed part. This is a skill the therapist helps the client to develop.

The depressed part might respond that they are protecting the client from failing, which would indicate a proactive protector part (a Manager).  Alternatively, they might say they are tryng to numb the client, which would indicate a reactive part (a Firefighter).  The other possibility is that the part is a young wounded part that is feeling alone and stuck in unresolved early trauma (an Exile).

How is Depression Healed in IFS?

An IFS therapist will lead the client through a process of helping them to lift the depression which would include recognizing depression as a part, helping the client to access their Core Self and from the Core Self's perspective the client observes the depressed part, befriends the part, and encourages the part to release their psychological burden.

Depression From an IFS Therapy Perspective

This allows the parts to take on a new and healthier role .

Although this might sound simple, it's often not so simple for a variety of possible reasons. Most of the time the proactive and reactive pars will step aside when asked, so that the client and therapist can work with the wounded part that holds the trauma. 

But there are times when these parts haven't developed trust yet with the client and the therapist, so it can take longer for them to agree to step aside.  

In the long run, IFS, which is a gentle, evidence-based trauma therapy, tends to be more effective at helping clients with depression. This is due to IFS's non-pathologizing stance and its step-by-step process of working with depression and unresolved trauma.

Get Help in IFS Therapy

If you have been struggling on your own or you haven't had success in traditional talk therapy, you could benefit from working with a licensed mental health professional who is an IFS therapist.

Get Help in IFS Therapy

When you free yourself from the burden of depression and trauma, you can lead a more fulfilling life.

About Me

I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT (for couples), IFS and Ego States Parts Therapist, Somatic Experiencing and Certified Sex Therapist.

I have helped many individual adults and couples over the years.

To find out more about it, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Also See My Articles

IFS is a Gentle, Evidence-Based Therapy 

IFS Therapy Can Help With Anxiety 

How Are Emotions Processed in IFS Therapy? 

Healing Trauma With IFS Therapy

What is the Connection Between IFS Parts Work Therapy and Neural Networks?

When I explain IFS (Internal Family Systems) Parts Work Therapy to clients, I emphasize that the "parts" in IFS are understood as metaphors for distinct, specialized neural networks in the brain (see links for my other IFS articles at the end of this article).

The Connection Between IFS and Neural Networks

IFS uses personalized, conversational language that most adults can understand, like "inner child", "protector parts" and "inner critic" as a way to make the these concepts accessible.

Neurobiological research shows that these "parts" are actually clusters of interconnected neurons that fire together during past experiences to form fixed behavioral, emotional and cognitive patterns.

What is the Connection Between IFS Parts Work Therapy and Neural Networks?

Parts Are Encapsulated Neural Networks:

• Implicit Memory Storage: When you experience trauma or chronic stress, your brain encodes the event into implicit memory (i.e., unconscious memory). The neural network formed during that event becomes localized and isolated.

The Connection Between IFS and Neural Networks

• Fixed Schemas: These isolated neural networks serve as mental maps or schemas. When triggered by a current event, the entire historical network fires simultaneously which causes you to feel, think and react in the same way as when this network was formed. In IFS, this is known as a part "blending" with you.

Neuroplasticity and Memory Reconsolidation

• Unlocking the Network: IFS Parts Work targets these specific neural networks by a process called memory reconsolidation. When you focus on a particular part with curiosity and compassion, you stimulate and open up that specific neural pathway. 

IFS Parts Work Therapy and Neuroplasticity

• Rewiring Through "Core Self Energy": By introducing "Core Self Energy" (a state of calm, curiosity, clarity and mindfulness associated with your precortex functioning), you can introduce new, positive emotional input into the activated network. According to neuroscientists, including Frank Anderson, MD, this targeted imagination and dual attention physically rewires the neural network, updates the old memory and stores it back in healthy, integrated state (see my article: Healing Unresolved Trauma and Neuroplasticity: The Mind Has a Powerful Innate Ability to Heal Itself).

Regulating Brain Regions

• Calming the Amygdala: IFS "protector parts" (like an inner critic or an anxious part) are driven by an hyperactive amygdala, which is the brain's threat-detection center. "Befriending" these parts tells your amygdala that the danger has passed, which down- regulates the fear response (see my article: Making Friends With Your Inner Critic as a way to understand the "befriending" process in IFS).

IFS Therapy: Calming the Amygdala

• Strengthening the Prefrontal Cortex: The "Core Self" of IFS represents a state of high neurological integration. Practicing IFS strengthens the connection between the prefrontal cortex (executive control) and the limbic system (emotions) allowing you to observe intense emotional reactivity without being completely overwhelmed by it.

Summary of Parallel Concepts

• IFS Concept: A "Part"
• Neurological Equivalent: A localized cluster of neurons forming an implicit memory network

• IFS Concept: A "Blended State"
• Neurological Equivalent: The automatic, involuntary firing of a trauma-encoded neural pathway

• IFS Concept: Core Self Energy (also referred to as "Self')
• Neurological Equivalent: Prefrontal cortex activation, high neurological activation and mindfulness.

• IFS Concept: "Unburdening"
• Neurological Equivalent: Neuroplastic reorganization and memory reconsolidation

Conclusion

IFS Parts Work Therapy uses a personalized language as a way to make the IFS concepts understandable to clients.

In this article I have addressed the neurological equivalents of IFS Parts Work Therapy as a way to show that IFS, which is a gentle evidence-based therapy for trauma, has neurological underpinnings for clients who are interested in the connection between IFS and science.

Get Help in IFS Therapy

If you have been struggling and traditional talk therapy hasn't helped you, you could benefit from working with a licensed mental health professional who is an IFS therapist.

A skilled IFS therapist can help you to work through psychological trauma so you can live a more fulfilling life.

About Me

I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT (for couples),  Parts Work (IFS Therapy and Ego States Therapy), Somatic Experiencing and Certified Sex Therapist.

I have helped many individual adults and couples over the years.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Also See My Other IFS Articles:

IFS is a Gentle Evidence-Based Trauma Therapy 

How IFS Therapy and Ego States Therapy Help You to Understand Yourself. 

Discovering Your Core Self in IFS Parts Work Therapy 

How Are Emotions Processed in IFS Parts Work Therapy? 

How Can Parts Work Therapy Be Empowering?

What Are the Similarities and Differences Between IFS and Contemporary Psychodynamic Psychotherapy?

 

How Does Experiential Therapy Achieve Psychological Breakthroughs?

In my prior article, How is Experiential Therapy Different Than Traditional Talk Therapy?, I began a discussion about why Experiential Therapy is more effective than traditional talk therapy.

Experiential Therapy Achieves Breakthroughs

In the current article, I'm focusing on how Experiential Therapy achieves psychological breakthroughs.

First, it's important to understand what types of therapies come under the umbrella of Experiential Therapy.

Experiential Therapies includes many mind-body oriented therapies such as:

• EMDR - Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing

• Somatic Experiencing - also known as SE

• AEDP - Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy

• IFS - Internal Family Systems Parts Work Therapy

• EFT - Emotionally Focused Therapy For Couples

How Does Experiential Therapy Achieve Psychological Breakthroughs?

Experiential Therapy achieves psychological breakthroughs by:

• Bypassing the Analytic Mind: Many clients are very good at "talking about" their problems without being in touch with how they feel. This is especially true for clients who have had prior therapy. Experiential therapy uses the mind-body connection so that therapy isn't just an intellectualized experience. Instead, clients can get to the root of their problems in a more effective way by getting to unconscious issues rather than remaining on an intellectual level.

Experiential Therapy Achieves Breakthroughs

• Engaging Somatic Memories: Trauma and chronic stress are stored in the nervous system rather than just in the logical mind. Rather than focusing only on what the client thinks, an Experiential therapist emphasizes body awareness. Instead of only asking, "What do you think?", the Experiential therapist will ask, "What do you feel and where do you feel it in your body?" This helps the client to have a felt sense of their problems. This felt sense can release trapped physical tension and stress. 

• Memory Consolidation: A breakthrough requires updating old neural scripts. In Experiential therapy the brain updates the old memory with new adaptive information with the help of the therapist.

• Emotional Catharsis: Psychological shifts often require an emotional release. Examples of this include: Expressing long suppressed anger, grief and shame. 

Psychological Breakthroughs With Experiential Therapy

Rather than just gaining only an intellectual insight into their problems, clients experience a felt shift.  They can rewrite their emotional scripts through action (see my article: Healing From the Inside Out: Why Insight Isn't Enough to Heal).

Experiential Therapy Achieves Breakthroughs

For example, instead of just understanding their childhood trauma, they experience a felt sense of what has held them back and what has shifted for them in Experiential Therapy in an embodied way. This somatic and emotional alignment changes their internal representation of their world which leads to psychological and behavioral change.

Get Help in Experiential Therapy

If you have been struggling with unresolved problems and traditional therapy has been unhelpful, consider working with a licensed mental health professional who is an Experiential therapist.

The psychological breakthroughs can lead to a more fulfilling life.

About Me

I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT (for couples), Parts Work (IFS and Ego States Therapy), Somatic Experiencing and Certified Sex Therapist.

I have helped many individual adults and couples over the years.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Also See My Article:

Why is Experiential Therapy More Effective Than Traditional Talk Therapy? 

IFS Parts Work Therapy is a Gentle Evidence-Based Trauma Therapy

Some types of trauma therapy rely on exposure to traumatic events as their way of working with trauma, which can retraumatizing to certain clients.

IFS Therapy is a Gentle Evidenced-Based Trauma Therapy

IFS Parts Work Therapy, which is a gentle, effective, evidence-based* therapy, doesn't use exposure like many types of exposure therapies.

    *In 2015, SAMHSA (US Substance Abuse and Mental Health Administration) designated IFS as an evidence-based therapy.

Key Framework of Gentleness in IFS Parts Work Therapy

IFS, which stands for Internal Family Systems Therapy, is a parts work therapy that prioritizes pacing that works for the client, internal consent and a non-pathologizing framework:

• No Forced Reliving of the Trauma: IFS focuses on how trauma lives in the body and mind in the here-and-now.  This means that clients can use current emotions, thoughts and body sensations or images.  

• Permission Based Pacing: IFS is designed in such a way that therapists don't bypass defense mechanisms. Healing only progresses as "protector parts" (i.e., defense mechanisms) give permission and soften naturally.

IFS Therapy is a Gentle Evidence-Based Trauma Therapy

• Welcoming All Emotions: Anger, anxiety, shame and all emotions are met with curiosity and not judgment (see my article: Welcoming All Emotions).

• Reframing Symptoms as Protectors: IFS is non-pathologizing, as mentioned above, so that symptoms aren't viewed as "destructive" or "bad". In IFS therapy there are no bad parts. Symptoms are viewed as protectors who are doing their best to protect the client. This reframing helps to reduce shame.

• Preventing Emotional Flooding: IFS relies on a gentle process called "unblending" When a client experiences emotional pain, fear or shame, the therapist asks the part to step back so that the client can witness the pain without feeling overwhelmed by it.

• Building Self Trust: Healing happens through your own inner wisdom rather than through an external source.

• Self-Lead Healing: The source of healing doesn't come from the authority of the therapist. Instead, it comes from the client's own Core Self which is an undamaged core that is characterized by calmness, compassion, curiosity and clarity. So, you set the pace.

• Gentle Unburdening: Parts of the client which hold the trauma are allowed to safely release their historical pain, shame and fear in an environment of internal containment and at their own pace.

Get Help in IFS Parts Work Therapy

If you have been struggling on your own with unresolved trauma, you could benefit from working with a licensed mental health professional who is a IFS therapist.

Get Help in IFS Parts Work Therapy

Unburdening yourself of trauma can help you to lead a meaningful life free of your traumatic history.

About Me

I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT (for couples), Parts Work (IFS and Ego States Therapy), Somatic Experiencing and Certified Sex Therapist.

I have helped many individual adults and couples in over more than 25 years.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Also See My Other Articles About IFS:

Giving Voice to Unconscious Parts of Yourself 

How Can IFS Parts Work Therapy Be Empowering? 

How Can IFS Parts Work Therapy Help With Anxiety?

Understanding Your Core Self and Your Parts in IFS Parts Work Therapy

I have written about IFS (Internal Family Systems) Parts Work Therapy in prior articles (see links for these articles at the end of this article).

What is IFS Parts Work Therapy?

IFS is an evidence-based therapy approach to psychotherapy that views the human mind as made up of a complex system of parts that are led by an undamaged Core Self.

IFS Core Self, Managers, Firefighters and Exiles

Developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz in the 1980s, IFS operates on the fundamental principle that there are "no bad parts". In other words, every part of yourself developed with a protective intention of helping you to survive.

What is the Structure of the Mind in IFS?

In IFS your mind consists of of a Core Self (also known as a True Self) and three distinct aspects:

The Core Self: 

The authentic, compassionate part of your being, the Core Self cannot be damaged by trauma. The qualities of the Core Self consist of the 8 Cs: 

• Calmness
• Curiosity
  
• Compassion
• Confidence
• Courage
• Clarity
• Creativity
• Connectedness
  

Exiles: 

Exiles are the wounded, vulnerable parts of your mind. They usually originate from childhood trauma which often carry painful emotions like shame, anxiety and loneliness. Exiles are often out of conscious awareness until they get triggered so that they might not cause you overwhelming pain. They are "managed" by Manager and Firefighter parts (see below). 

Common examples of exile parts include: 

• The Abandoned Child Part: This part carries a deep terrifying fear of being rejected, left behind or unloved.

• The Shamed Child Part: This part carries the core belief of being inherently defective, unlovable, ugly or not good enough.

Shamed Child Exile Part

• The Invisible Child: This part feels completely unseen, unheard, uncared for and unimportant to caregivers and peers.

• The Terrorized Part: This part stores the raw terror, helplessness and physical panic of a past traumatic event.

• The Neglected Part: This part experiences chronic emptiness and a painful longing for affection and care.

• The Judged Part: This part contains the harsh criticism, feeling constantly scrutinized and inadequate.

What Are Common Triggers That Activate Exiles?

• A partner not responding to a text immediately
• Receiving constructive feedback during a work review
• Feeling excluded from a social event or group chat 
• Experiencing a minor medical scare or physical injury

Managers: 

Proactive protectors that run your daily life, they help to keep you organized, controlled, safe by trying to ensure that Exile parts don't come to the surface and flood you with overwhelming pain. Examples of manager parts include: 

• The Inner Critic: Monitors and evaluates your behavior with harsh self-talk. It shames you internally as a maladaptive way to motivate. It aims to correct flaws before anyone else detects them and judges you (see my article: Making Friends With Your Inner Critic).

Inner Critic

• The Perfectionist: Sets impossibly high standards and demands flawlessness. This part believes that if your performance, appearance or work is completely "perfect", you will remain safe from failure, rejection or embarrassment (see my article: What is Perfectionism?).

The Perfectionist

• The People Pleaser/Caretaker: Prioritizes the emotions, comforts and needs of others over your own self-care. It seeks constant validation and smooths over external conflict to keep others happy, ensuring they never abandon you or reject you (Trauma and the People-Pleaser Part).

The People Pleaser/Caretaker

• The Planner/Controller: Attempts to micro-manager every aspect of your life, schedule and relationships. It obsesses over predictability and prepares for worst case scenarios to eliminate the danger of unforeseen emotional triggers. 

• The Achiever/Taskmaster: Drives relentless productivity and focuses heavily on success. It links your basic human worth to tangible output and accomplishments to shield you from feelings of inadequacy.

The Achiever/Taskmaster

• The Intellectualizer/Thinker: Relies strictly on logic, data and rational analysis. It acts as a cognitive shield, analyzing problems from a detached distance to explain away feelings and keep you from experiencing raw emotion.

• The Publicist/Image Manager: Carefully curates your words, physical presentation and external reputation. It ensures you always look highly competent, composed and successful to the outside world, masking any internal vulnerability (see my article: Confusing Your Curated Social Media Self With Your True Self).

• The Avoider/Passive Pessimist: Keeps a safe distance from emotionally risky situations, intimacy or new challenges. It protects the system by shutting down, opting for withdrawal or passivity so that closeness cannot trigger suppressed wounds.

Firefighters:

Firefighter are reactive protective parts that step in aggressively when an Exile's pain breaks through the Manager's defenses. They attempt to rapidly extinguish or numb emotional distress by any means necessary. 

Unlike Manager parts which proactively plan to manage pain, Firefighter parts act impulsively and they are focused on immediate, short term relief without considering the long term consequences. These include:

The Numb-Out and Escape Strategies: These parts seek to detach from reality or dull the intensity of an activated emotion:

• The Binge Watcher/Compulsive Scroller: This part can spend hours scrolling social media, playing video games or binge watch TV to completely tune out reality.

Binge Watcher/Compulsive Scroller on Social Media

• The Dissociator: Pulls your mind away from your body causing you to "zone out" during intense situations or to feel detached from your physical presence.

• The Sleeper: Uses extreme fatigue or unprompted naps as a tactical emergency exit to avoid experiencing distress.

• The Daydreamer: Escapes chronic pain by retreating entirely into elaborate fantasies or internal worlds. 

The Substance Abuse and Comfort Soothers

These parts look to external, chemical or physical substances to smother painful feelings immediately:

• The Drinker/User: Relies heavily on alcohol, marijuana or other substances to artificially quiet an internal emotional storm.

• The Comfort Eater: Urges overeating to blanket feelings of loneliness, sadness or stress.

• The Compulsive Shopper: Impulsively spends to get the sudden burst of dopamine to mask an inner void (see my article: Learn to Stop Overspending as a Way to Avoid Uncomfortable Feelings).

The Impulse and Adrenaline Chasers

These parts attempt to replace unbearable underlying emotions, like shame or helplessness, with highly stimulating, high octane physical sensations:

• The Rager: Deflects vulnerable feelings by launching into sudden, explosive angry outbursts, slamming doors or starting verbal fights.

The Risk Taker

• The Risk Taker: Drives dangerously or engages in reckless behavior such as extreme speeding, gambling or unsafe sexual encounters, using adrenaline to overpower emotional pain.

• The Self Harmer: Expresses internal pain or seeks release from emotional numbness through physical self injury or suicidal ideation.

How Do Managers and Firefighters Differ From Each Other?

To understand your internal world, it helps to understand the difference between Manager parts, Firefighter parts and Exiles:

Managers

• Core Strategy: Control and prevention
• Behavioral Goal: Keep life orderly; minimize social and emotional risk
• Timing: Proactive (before pain occurs)

Firefighters

• Core Strategy: Distraction and numbing
• Behavioral Goal: Extinguish overwhelming emotional fires at all costs (e.g, drinking, drugging, gambling, dissociation, etc).
• Timing: Reactive (after an exile is triggered)

Exiles

• Core Strategy: Vulnerability and burden
• Behavioral Goal: Contain deep emotional wounds, childhood trauma, shame and loneliness
• Timing: Suppressed (hidden beneath protector parts)

Getting Help in IFS Parts Work Therapy

IFS is an effective, evidence-based, gentle trauma therapy. 

Although it is gentle, it is also powerful in terms of healing trauma.

Get Help in IFS Parts Work Therapy

IFS prioritizes pacing, internal consent and a non-pathologizing framework that doesn't force a client to relive their traumatic events. 

If you have been unable to work through problems on your own, consider working with a skilled IFS therapist so you can lead a more fulfilling life.

About Me

I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT (for couples), Somatic Experiencing, Parts Work (IFS and Ego States Therapy) and Certified Sex Therapist.

I have helped many individual adults and couples over the years.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Also See My Articles:

How Does IFS Parts Work Therapy Help You to Understand Yourself? 

How Does IFS Parts Work Therapy Help With Anxiety? 

How Can IFS Help With Trauma?

 

How Can IFS Parts Work Therapy Help You Discover Your True Self?

In prior articles, I have been discussing how an individual's social media self can create confusion between the carefully curated self and the True Self.

Discovering Your True Self in IFS Parts Work Therapy 

If you haven't read those articles, here are the links:

• Confusing Your Social Media Self With Your True Self 

• How Can Psychotherapy Help With Confusion Between Your Social Media Self and Your True Self?

Confusion About the Real You

Aside from social media, there are many ways you can get confused about your True Self.

Confusion about the True Self often occurs when external pressure, mental habits, or trauma disconnect you from your core feelings, values and desires:

• Social Masking (Persona Confusion)
• The Problem: Confusing your public role with your personal identity
• The Cause: Over-identifying with a job title, social status or family role
• The Result: Feeling empty when you step away from a specific role

• People Pleasing (Fawn Response)
• The Problem: Adopting the opinions or desires of others to feel safe or liked
• The Cause: Chronic seeking of external validation or childhood conditioning
• The Result: An inability to identify your own preferences when you are on your own

• Internalization of Parental and/or Societal Values
• The Problem: Mistaking internalized voices of your parents or society for your own
• The Cause: Growing up in a rigid, judgmental or dogmatic environment
• The Result: Pursuing goals you don't really care about, which can result in burnout, anxiety or depression

• Over-Identification With Your Passing Thoughts and Emotions
• The Problem: Believing you are your passing moods, anxiety or critical thoughts
• The Cause: Lack of mindfulness or psychological detachment
• The Result: A chaotic sense of identity that changes with shifting thoughts and emotions

• Trauma-Based Emotional Numbing
• The Problem: Numbing or disconnection from your body and emotional core
• The Cause: Survival strategies developed to survive overwhelming past experiences 
• The Result: Feeling like a detached observer of your own life rather than a participant

• The "Ego Ideal" Narrative
• The Problem: A preference for an idealized, "perfect" version of who you think you should be
• The Cause: Perfectionism and a refusal to accept your own flaws
• The Result: Rejecting your actual traits, talents and limitations

How Can IFS Parts Work Therapy Help You to Discover Your True Self?

IFS stands for Internal Family Systems (see my article: How Does IFS Therapy Help You to Understand Yourself?).

Discovering Your True Self in IFS Parts Work Therapy

IFS is considered an Experiential Therapy that is different from traditional talk therapy (see my articles: Why Experiential Therapy is More Effective Than Traditional Talk Therapy).

IFS can help you to discover your True Self (also known as Core Self in IFS) by identifying the protective "parts" of your personality that act as a shield to "protect" you from seeing yourself as you truly are in real life.

Understanding the IFS Parts Work Therapy Framework

In IFS "parts" are metaphors for internal aspects that make up your inner world.

IFS views your mind as having subpersonalities (or parts) that are, ideally, led by your Core Self with Core Self being the authentic essence who you are (see below).

With regard to the protector parts, you can think of them as defense mechanisms whose aim is to protect you, but who can get in the way of knowing your True Self (see my article: What Are the Similarities and Differences Between IFS and Contemporary Psychodynamic Psychotherapy?).

Core Self (also called "Self" in IFS): Your true essence characterized by the 8 Cs of IFS:

• Calmness: A grounded, steady state of the nervous system that allows you to observe and manage triggers without reacting immediately (see my article: Responding Instead of Reacting to Stress).

• Compassion:A warm, caring non-judgmental attitude toward yourself and others.

Discovering Your Tue Self in IFS Parts Work Therapy

• Curiosity: A desire to understand your thoughts and emotions (as well as the thoughts and emotions of others) which replaces judgment with an open, inquiring mindset

• Clarity: The ability to perceive situations, thoughts and emotions without distortion or mental fog

• Confidence: An internal sense of trust and capability rather than arrogance or a need to depend solely on external validation

• Courage: The inner strength to face difficult emotions, take risks and navigate vulnerable truths

• Creativity: The ability to think flexibly, realize your potential, and find solutions to problems (see my article: Creativity and Reclaiming the Power of Your Inner Voice)

• Connectedness: A sense of inner unity as well as a feeling of belonging and connection with the real world around you.

The parts include:

• Managers: Proactive parts of you that protect you in the same way that defense mechanisms do.

• Firefighters: Reactive parts that act out when the manager parts aren't enough. Firefighters act out when you feel judged, rejected, ignored or experience other triggers. Examples of firefighter reactions might include drinking, drugging, gambling and other compulsive and impulsive maladaptive behaviors as a way to blunt emotional pain.

• Exiles: Hidden parts of yourself that hold pain and trauma, loneliness, feelings of inadequacy and other painful feelings. 

How Can IFS Parts Work Help You to Discover Your True Self?

With regard to confusing your social media self with your True Self:

• Identifies the "Influencer" Manager Part: IFS helps you notice the specific part of your mind that curates your social media feed. This part strives for perfection, edits your life and seeks mostly external validation to protect you from criticism and other unpleasant feelings.

• Uncovers the Vulnerable Exile: Behind the polished online persona is usually an exiled part that feels lonely, invisible and "not enough". Your curated self on social media exists to prevent you from feeling this deep pain that is held by the exile part, but it comes at the expense of recognizing your True Self.

• Fosters "Unblending": In IFS Parts Work Therapy, you learn to step back from the anxious, image-conscious parts. This process is called "unblending" and it allows your authentic self, also known as your Core Self (or True Self) to emerge.

• Transitions From Only External Validation to Connection: Everyone needs external validation from time to time, but there are some people who rely mostly on external validation from social media. Once you unblend from your manager parts in IFS Therapy, your Core Self can offer validation to your hurt or traumatized exile parts. This reduces your reliance on "likes", comments, views and shares on social media.

What Steps Can You Take on Your Own?

If you don't have access to an IFS therapist, there are some steps you can take on your own:

• Notice the Impulse: When you feel an urgent need to post on social media, ask yourself, "Which part of me is driving this?"

• Extend Compassion: Don't get angry or judgmental with your image-conscious part. Acknowledge that it is just trying to protect you from rejection, hurt and emotional pain and extend compassion to it (see my article: Compassionate Self Acceptance).

• Check Your Energy: Notice if your online sharing comes from a place within you of anxiety, which is a part, or a place of calm and genuine connection (Core Self or True Self).

Conclusion

One short article can't give a complete picture of IFS, but I hope this article provides a sense of how IFS can help you discover and understand the various parts of your inner world.

Getting Help in IFS Therapy

IFS Therapy can help you to discover your True Self and distinguish your core identity from your protective and wounded inner parts.

Rather than struggling on your own, seek help from an IFS therapist so you can lead a more fulfilled life.

About Me

I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, Parts Work (IFS and Ego States Therapy), EFT (for couples), Somatic Experiencing and Certified Sex Therapist.

I have helped many individual adults and couples over the years.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.