The Cycle of Perfectionism, Procrastination and Paralysis

In my prior article, Intergenerational Trauma: What is the Link Between Perfectionism and Unresolved Trauma?, I looked at perfectionism through the lens of trauma that is passed on from one generation to the next.

The Connection Between Perfectionism, Procrastination and Paralysis

In the current article, I'm discussing the cycle of perfectionism, procrastination and paralysis (also known as avoidance).

Cycle of Perfectionism, Procrastination and Paralysis

Perfectionism, procrastination and paralysis form a cycle where an obsession with perfection is the driver leading to avoidance (procrastination) and ultimately resulting in inaction (paralysis).

This self-sabotaging loop occurs because impossible standards create anxiety which makes starting or finishing tasks feel overwhelming and risky (see my article: Overcoming Self-Sabotaging Behavior).

Understanding the Cycle of Fear

• Perfectionism (The Driver): Striving for impossible results, setting impossibly high standards and using all-or-nothing thinking.

• Procrastination (The Behavior): Delaying work or some other action because of a fear that the outcome won't meet the impossibly high standards. This inaction or avoidance can be disguised as "waiting for the right time".

• Paralysis (The Result): Becoming stuck and unable to start or finish a task, project or other commitment due to the pressure of wanting it to be "perfect".

How to Break the Cycle

• Be Aware: "Done is Better Than Perfect": Focus on starting and completing tasks rather than making them "perfect".

• Break Down Tasks: Divide tasks into more manageable and less intimidating parts.

• Set Time Limits: Limit the time you spend "polishing" and trying to make something "perfect".

• Practice Self Compassion: Work towards calming down your inner critic and accept that mistakes are inevitable and part of the learning process (see my article: Making Friends With Your Inner Critic).

• Work on Underlying Issues: The cycle of perfectionism, procrastination and paralysis often develops at an early age related to unresolved psychological trauma. Working through these underlying issues with a licensed mental health professional can help you to get to the underlying issues and resolution to the problem.

Clinical Vignette

The following clinical vignette, which is a composite of many different cases, illustrates the cycle discussed above and how psychotherapy can help.

Jean

Ever since she was a child, Jean approached all tasks and projects with a lot of anxiety. Her parents made her do her homework over and over again until they assessed it was "perfect" (excellent penmanship, no erasures, etc).

When she got to college, Jean had problems getting her papers in on time because her need to make everything "perfect" would cause her to either rewrite her papers many times before she could turn them in or her fear of the papers being less than "perfect" caused her to procrastinate and get the papers in late. There were times when she felt so anxious that she wasn't able to even start the papers.

Cycle of Perfectionism, Procrastination and Paralysis

One of Jean's professors, who recognized that Jean was intelligent and hard working, suggested that Jean get help in therapy to overcome these problems.

Working in trauma therapy, Jean gained insight into the origin of her problem and used the tools and strategies her therapist provided to get her papers in on time.

As part of her therapy, her therapist, who used Internal Family Systems Parts Work Therapy (IFS), helped Jean to work through these issues by getting her inner critic to soften and step aside so she could complete her tasks. Jean also learned to strengthen her Core Self so she was no longer influenced by the parts of herself that strove for "perfection".

Get Help in Therapy

If self help techniques haven't helped you to overcome perfectionism, seek help from a qualified mental health professional.

Get Help in Therapy

Overcoming the root cause of your problem can help you to work through these issues so you can lead a more fulfilling life.

About Me

I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT (for couples), Parts Work (IFS and Ego States Therapy), Somatic Experiencing and Certified Sex Therapist.

As a Trauma Therapist, I have helped individual adults and couples over the years.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Intergenerational Trauma: What is the Link Between Perfectionism and Unresolved Trauma?

In my prior article, How a Parent's Unresolved Trauma Can Affect Their Child, I started a discussion about the potential impact for children of parents with unsolved trauma (see my article: What is Intergenerational Trauma?).

The Link Between Perfectionism and Unresolved Trauma

I'm continuing this discussion in the current article by focusing on one aspect this issue,  which is perfectionism (see my article: Overcoming Perfectionism).

Estimates vary as to what percentage of children of traumatized parents develop perfectionism, but the current estimate as of the date of this article is 25-30%.

What is the Link Between Perfectionism and Intergenerational Trauma?

Trauma-related perfectionism is passed down through biological and environmental pathways:

• Parental Modeling: Children often internalize the harsh, self critical inner voices of parents who use perfectionism to cope with unresolved trauma.

• Epigenetic Predisposition: Chronic stress and trauma in parents can influence gene expressions related to anxiety and chronic stress, potentially exposing children to perfectionistic tendencies.  

• Parentified Roles: Children who are forced to take on adult responsibilities or care for a parent's emotional needs may use perfectionism to fulfill these overwhelming obligations (see my article: What is Parentification and Why Is It Traumatic?).

Signs of Trauma-Based Perfectionism

Unlike healthy striving for excellence, trauma-based perfectionism is driven by fear and shame. 

This includes:

• All-or-Nothing Thinking: Viewing any minor mistake as a total failure or proof of inherent unworthiness (see my article: Overcoming All-or-Nothing Thinking).

The Procrastination Paradox

• Procrastination Paradox: Avoiding tasks entirely because the fear of doing them imperfectly is paralyzing

• Chronic Self Criticism: A persistent internal dialog that equates mistakes with being "bad" or at risk for abandonment

Support the Healing Process

If your child is experiencing perfectionistic tendencies related to intergenerational trauma, healing begins with you:

• Create a Nonjudgmental Space: Create an environment in your home where mistakes are welcomed and met with curiosity instead of judgment.

Create a Nonjudgmental Environment

• Practice Compassion: Help your child to distinguish their worth from their achievements.

• Get Support For Yourself in Trauma Therapy: Healing begins with you. If you have unresolved trauma, get help in trauma therapy so you can become a parental model of mental health. Trauma therapy modalities include:

• Parts Work Therapy (IFS and Ego States Therapy)
  

• Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy (AEDP)
  

• Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

• Somatic Experiencing (SE)
  

• Get Help For Your Child: Seek help from a licensed mental health professional who does trauma-informed therapy for children. Therapist directories like Psychology Today can provide you with referrals to psychotherapists who work with children in your area.

About Me

I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT (for couples), Parts Work (IFS and Ego States Therapy), Somatic Experiencing and Certified Sex Therapist.

As a trauma therapist, I have helped many individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Also See My Articles:

How Trauma Therapy Can Help You to Overcome Unresolved Trauma

The Potential Long Lasting Impact of Trauma 

How a Parent's Unresolved Trauma Can Affect a Child 

You Are Not Defined By What Happened to You 

 

Coping With Trauma: How a Parent's Unresolved Trauma Can Affect Their Child

A parent's unresolved trauma can have a significant impact on their child's development through biological, psychological and behavioral pathways.

A Parent's Unresolved Trauma Can Affect Their Child

This phenomenon is, which is called intergenerational trauma, occurs when a parent's past unresolved trauma shapes their current mental health and their parenting style--even if the child was never directly exposed to the traumatic events (see my article: What is Intergenerational Trauma?).

Disruptions in Parenting and Attachment

Unresolved trauma often impairs a parent's ability to provide a stable, nurturing environment which is essential for healthy development:

• Emotional Unavailability: A parent might suppress their own emotional pain through defense mechanisms like emotional detachment which makes it difficult for them to be attuned to the child's needs.

• Insecure Attachment: A traumatized parent is more likely to establish insecure attachment (anxious, avoidant or disorganized attachment style) with their children. This often leads to difficulties with children being able to trust others and regulate their emotions.

• Maladaptive Parenting Styles: A parent might lean to maladaptive parenting styles including authoritarian (harsh discipline), permissive (inconsistent boundaries), or negligent parenting.

• Intense Triggers: Everyday parent-child interactions, such as a child's tantrum or defiance, can trigger strong, irrational emotional responses in a parent which is rooted in their own past experiences rather than the present moment.

Psychological and Behavioral Outcomes For the Child

Children of parents with unresolved trauma are at a higher risk for various mental health and behavioral challenges:

• Internalizing Problems: These children are at a higher risk for anxiety, depression and low self esteem.

Adverse Impact of Parent's Trauma on Child

• Externalizing Behaviors: There is a higher likelihood of aggression, defiance and hyperactivity which are sometimes misinterpreted as "misbehavior" rather than a response to a trauma.

• Hypervigilance: Children might become overly sensitive to a parent's moods, constantly "watching" to anticipate potential threats (see my article: What is Hypervigilance?).

• Role Reversal: A child might feel responsible to "fix" their parent's mood or take care of their parent's emotional needs, a dynamic known as parentification (see my article: Role Reversal in Parent-Child Relationships).

• A Need to Be "Perfect": For a child of a traumatized parent, perfectionism often develops as a survival strategy rather than a personality trait. It serves as a "psychological shield" to manage an environment that feels unsafe, unpredictable or emotionally demanding.

Biological and Neurobiological Impacts

According to research by the National Institutes of Health, parental trauma can lead to measurable changes in a child's biology, sometimes before birth:

• Brain Development: Maternal childhood trauma has been linked to smaller brain volume and weaker connectivity in neural circuits responsible for emotion regulation (such as between the amygdala and prefrontal cortex).

Impact of Intergenerational Trauma on Child's Brain

• Stress Response Systems: Trauma can alter a child's stress response system which leads to abnormal levels of cortisol, which is the body's primary stress hormone.

• Epigenetics: According to the National Institutes of Health, trauma can be transmitted from parent to child through epigenetic mechanisms where the stress of a parent's experience alters gene expression in their offspring, potentially making the child more vulnerable to stress and mental health conditions later in life.

Long Term Health Conditions

The impact of growing up with a traumatized parent can extend into adulthood increasing the risk of:

• Chronic Diseases: Higher rates of heart disease, diabetes and autoimmune disorders

Impact of Intergenerational Trauma on Long Term Health Conditions

• Somatic Problems: Frequent unexplained physical symptoms such as headaches and stomachaches

• Risky Behavior: A greater likelihood of engaging in risky behavior including substance abuse or other self destructive behaviors and maladaptive coping strategies

Breaking Intergenerational Cycles of Trauma With Help in Trauma Therapy

Parents who have unresolved trauma can break the cycles of intergenerational trauma by getting help in trauma therapy. 

Get Help in Trauma Therapy

Trauma therapy can help adults to work through their trauma to heal their emotional wounds and develop more responsive parenting techniques (see my article: How Trauma Can Help You to Overcome Trauma).

About Me

I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT (for couples), Somatic Experiencing, Parts Work Therapist (IFS and Ego States Therapy) and Certified Sex Therapist.

As a trauma therapist, I have helped many individual adults and couples over the years.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Emotional Numbing: The "Wall" That Once Protected You Now Imprisons You

 I've written about emotional numbing in prior articles (see my article: How Therapy Can Help You to Take Down the "Wall" You Built Around Yourself).

In the current article, I want to dive deeper into the subject of emotional numbing that started as a survival strategy and ended up imprisoning you with social isolation, an inability to feel emotions deeply, including joy, and creating stagnation in your life.

What is Emotional Numbing?

Emotional numbing is an unconscious psychological state where an individual feels detached or indifferent. They are often unable to experience, process or express emotions.

Overcoming Emotional Numbing

What Are Some of the Symptoms of Emotional Numbing?

Someone who is experiencing emotional numbing can have some or all of the following symptoms:

• Flat Affect: A lack of emotional response, often described as "robotic" or indifferent

• Reduced Emotional Range: An inability to feel high excitement or deep sadness

• Detachment: Feeling emotionally and psychologically disconnected from others and, possibly, from surroundings

• Indiscriminate Blocking: Emotional numbing blocks all emotions including sadness, joy, excitement and gratitude

• Loss of a Sense of Self: Chronic detachment can lead to loss of identity, which can make you feel like a passive observer in your life 

• Avoidance and Isolation: Withdrawing from people and social activities

• Energy Depletion: Maintaining internal "walls" takes a lot of psychological energy which can lead to chronic fatigue or burnout

What Causes Emotional Numbing?

Emotional numbing can be caused by unresolved psychological trauma, PTSD (posttraumatic stress disorder), severe stress, grief, burnout or a side effect of medication (see my article: What is the Difference Between Trauma and PTSD?).

Overcoming Emotional Numbing

Emotional numbing often starts during childhood as a survival strategy or defense mechanism which is adaptive at the time because the child is in a psychologically overwhelming environment at home.

In that sense, emotional numbing helps to mitigate overwhelming stress and trauma which would be detrimental to the child.

However, when the child becomes an adult, emotional numbing is no longer adaptive because it prevents the individual from being fully present in personal relationships, friendships, social activities and at work.

As an adult, chronic emotional numbness puts a strain on relationships and daily life.

Clinical Vignette

The following clinical vignette,which is a composite of many cases, illustrates how emotional numbing which once protected a young child in a dysfunctional family from being overwhelmed but created problems later on as an adult. The vignette also illustrates how trauma therapy can help.

Nick

When Nick was growing up, he learned to cope with his parents' constant arguments by going into his room and "spacing out" with video games.

After a while, he got so good at numbing himself that he felt like he was in his own world apart from everyone and everything else.

As an adult in his first relationship, Nick had problems connecting emotionally with his girlfriend. She complained that she experienced him as emotionally detached and indifferent about her and their relationship.

At the time, Nick had no awareness about how he was numbing himself because it had become so automatic for him. At the point when he thought his girlfriend might end their relationship, Nick sought help in therapy.

Nick's therapist helped Nick to realize that the "wall" he created around himself as a child protected him from the chaos between his parents, but that same "wall" now came with a cost because he had problems connecting emotionally with his girlfriend and others.

His therapist, who was a trauma therapist, helped Nick to gradually take down his protective "wall" by working on the unresolved trauma from his childhood.

Using a combination of EMDR therapy and Parts Work therapy, over time, Nick worked through his childhood trauma so that he no longer felt the need to numb himself emotionally (see my article: Why is Experiential Therapy More Effective Than Traditional Talk Therapy to Overcome Trauma?).

The work in therapy was neither quick nor easy, but Nick was able to connect emotionally with his girlfriend as he worked through his unresolved trauma.

Conclusion

Like all defense mechanisms, emotional numbing occurs on an unconscious level and it's usually related to trauma.

Trauma therapy can help to work through the original trauma so there is no longer a need for emotional numbing.

Getting Help in Trauma Therapy

Working with a licensed mental health professional who is a trauma therapist can help you to work through unresolved trauma and emotional numbing (see my article: What is a Trauma Therapist?).

Getting Help in Trauma Therapy

Rather than struggling on your own, seek help from a trauma therapist so you can live a more fulfilling life.

About Me

I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT (for couples), Parts Work (IFS and Ego States Therapy), Somatic Experiencing and Certified Sex Therapist.

As a trauma therapist, I have over 25 years of experience helping individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Also See My Articles:

Allowing Yourself to Feel Your Feelings So You Can Heal 

What Happens When You Numb Yourself to Your Traumatic Past 

How Are Emotions Processed in Internal Family Systems (IFS) Parts Work Therapy?

I have been focusing on how emotions are processed in different types of therapies (see links below for prior articles).

What is Parts Work Therapy

IFS, which stands for Internal Family Systems, was developed by Richard Schwartz as a form of trauma therapy in the 1980s.

Processing Emotions in Parts Work

Prior to IFS, Ego States Therapy, which is another form of parts work therapy, was developed by psychiatrists John and Helen Watkins in the 1970s, so IFS wasn't the first type of parts work. 

Ego States Therapy is a psychodynamic approach which is used to resolve inner conflicts, trauma and improve emotional regulation by fostering communication and harmony between the different parts of a person's personality.

I learned Ego States Therapy while I was learning how to do hypnotherapy in 2011 and when I learned IFS a few years later, I saw the similarities between Ego States Therapy and IFS immediately.

Ego States Therapy and IFS have the following similarities:

• The personality is perceived as consisting of separate subparts rather than perceiving the personality as a single, unified whole. Subparts are a part of everyone's personality. This is different from multiple personality disorder.

• Both Ego States Therapy and IFS strive to help the various parts of the personality to work together. The goal is not to get rid of any parts because there are no bad parts. All parts have good intentions even if the intentions aren't apparent at first.

• Both types of parts work are effective for trauma, PTSD and resolving inner conflict.

• Ego States Therapy uses guided imagery and sometimes hypnotherapy to identify and communicate with specific parts, also known as Ego States. IFS uses somatic awareness to identify and communicate with parts.

How Does IFS Parts Work Process Emotions?

Similar to Ego States Therapy, IFS identifies specific parts using compassionate curiosity through the Core Self, which is also known as the Self, Adult Self or Higher Self (see my article: Discovering Your Core Self in IFS Parts Work Therapy).

Here are the key stages of emotional processing in IFS:

• Identifying "Trailheads": Emotional triggers or intense feelings (anger, fear, sadness and so on) are recognized as "trailheads". In other words, they are recognized as gateways to understanding a part.

• Unblending and Self Compassion: Instead of being overtaken by an emotion, you learn to separate from it. This separation or externalization allows for your calm and compassionate Core Self to observe and connect with the emotion without judgment. This is similar to mindfulness where you learn to observe your experiences.

Processing Emotions in Parts Work: Befriending Parts

• Befriending Protective Parts: Before accessing deeply painful emotions, IFS focuses on understanding "managers" (proactive protector parts) and "firefighter" parts (reactive, numbing parts). You learn that these protective parts, which would be identified as defense mechanisms in psychodynamic or psychoanalytic therapy, have positive intentions of protecting you, such as preventing future harm.

• Witnessing the Unburdened Exiles: Once you have developed a trusting relationship with the protective parts, they can allow the Core Self to access the wounded, vulnerable "exile" parts which hold the trauma. The Core Self listens to and observes the exile's story and helps them to release the painful emotions or limiting beliefs they carry. This is called unburdening the exiles.

The 6 Fs of IFS

To process emotions, IFS often uses a structured process to engage with the parts:

• Find: Locate/sense the emotion/part in the body.

• Focus: Bring your attention to it.

• Flesh Out: Get to know the parts (images, sensations, memories).

• Befriend the Part: Listen to and understand the part's intention.

• Fears: Listen to and understand what the part fears if it stops doing what it's doing. For example, a protector part might be afraid when you ask the part to step aside because it fears letting go of control. This is similar to how defense mechanisms work. For instance, you might unconsciously protect yourself with denial about a problem and letting go of that denial can make you afraid. So, whether you conceive of it as a part or a defense mechanism, you have to gain its trust so it feels safe enough to let go.

Through the IFS or Ego States Therapy process, emotions are no longer suppressed or acted out impulsively. Instead, emotions are validated and released. This leads to healing and internal integration which is an essential part of mental health.

Emotional Blocks in Parts Work

After reading the summary above, it would be easy to think that processing emotions in Parts Work, either IFS or Ego States Therapy, is simple, but this isn't always the case (see my article: Working With Emotional Blocks).

Just like in any other therapy, you can experience emotional blocks that get in the way of processing emotions. For instance, in attempting to feel compassion, you might access a critical part instead that gets in the way and needs to be worked with before you can access self compassion. This critical part is often a protector part and it also functions as an emotional block.

In addition, the mind can resist what's unfamiliar. So, if your familiar experience is to berate yourself because you internalized that experience at a young age, you have accessed a protector part that is difficult to let go of because it has become a longstanding part of you.

Although it might not sound like it's protective, all parts have good intentions so it's important to find out what the intention is when a part blocks progress. Then, you can form a trusting relationship with the part so it will eventually let go of criticizing and judging you.

Conclusion

IFS and Ego States Therapy are two of several types of trauma therapies.

The trauma therapist assesses each client to determine which type of trauma therapy--whether it's EMDR, AEDP, Somatic Experiencing, Parts Work or a combination of these modalities is for a particular client. 

Getting Help in Trauma Therapy

If you have unresolved trauma that you have been unable to work through on your own, you could benefit from working with a licensed mental health professional who is a trauma therapist (see my article: What is a Trauma Therapist?).

Getting Help in Trauma Therapy

Freeing yourself from unresolved trauma can help you to live a more fulfilling life.

About Me

I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT (for couples), Parts Work (IFS and Ego States Therapy), Somatic Experiencing and Certified Sex Therapist.

As a trauma therapist, I have over 25 years of experience helping individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Also See My Articles:

Trauma Therapy: The Mind Has a Powerful Innate Ability to Heal Itself

What Does Processing Your Emotions Mean? 

How Are Emotions Processed in EMDR Therapy?

How Are Emotions Processed in AEDP?

What is the Life Cycle of an Emotion?

 

How Are Emotions Processed in EMDR Therapy?

EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (see my article: How EMDR Therapy Works: EMDR and the Brain).

How Are Emotions Processed in EMDR Therapy?

EMDR was developed by Dr. Francine Shapiro in the 1980s as an alternative to traditional talk therapy to heal psychological trauma. 

EMDR is one of several types experiential therapies, including AEDP (Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy) IFS (Internal Family Systems) Parts Work and Somatic Experiencing, that were developed by trauma therapists help clients to overcome trauma (see my article: Why is Experiential Therapy More Effective Than Traditional Talk Therapy to Overcome Trauma).

The cornerstone of EMDR is the Adaptive Information Processing (AIP) system which is a theory about how the brain stores memories and that the brain stores regular memories and traumatic memories in a different way.

While normal memories are stored by strengthening connections between neurons, traumatic memories aren't stored in a cohesive way. Instead, traumatic memories are stored with fragmented, sensory and emotional imprints due to the hyperactivation of the amygdala and inhibition in the hippocampus in the brain.

The unprocessed nature of traumatic memories can cause flashbacks and triggers.

Prolonged trauma can lead to structural changes in the brain with a reduction in neuroplasticity, but the reduction can be repaired by EMDR therapy and other trauma therapies.

How Are Emotions Processed in EMDR Therapy?

Emotions related to traumatic memories are processed in EMDR therapy using bilateral stimulation (BLS) which can be either eye movements, bilateral tones or tapping, to stimulate the brain while the client focuses on the traumatic memory (see my article: What is Bilateral Stimulation?).

EMDR Therapy Using Tappers For BLS

This technique is similar to REM (Rapid Eye Movement), which is a crucial stage of sleep associated with dreaming and increased brain activity.

Bilateral stimulation helps the brain to "metabolize" the unprocessed traumatic memories by  reducing their emotional charge and replacing negative self beliefs with positive, adaptive beliefs.

Prior to processing traumatic memories with EMDR, an EMDR therapist assesses whether EMDR is the appropriate therapy for a particular client. 

If so, she obtains a client's history, helps the client to develop the necessary internal resources and coping skills to do the trauma work and evaluates whether the client is ready to process the trauma. 

Some clients, who have a significant history of ongoing trauma might need an extended period of resource development before they can process traumatic memories (see my article: Developing Internal Resources and Coping Skills).

What Are the Key Aspects of EMDR Therapy?

Here is a breakdown of the eight phases of EMDR therapy.

If the therapist assesses that EMDR therapy is appropriate for a client, there are eight phases to EMDR which vary in length depending upon each client's needs:

• Phase 1: History Taking and Treatment Planning: The therapist obtains the client's history, as mentioned above. She identifies the traumatic memories and creates a treatment plan in collaboration with the client. During this stage, the therapist helps the client to identify the "touchstone" memory, which is the earliest memory related to the trigger the client is experiencing. For instance, if the client seeks EMDR therapy to deal with a difficult boss who humiliates the client in staff meetings, the touchstone memory might be memories of being humiliated by a critical father. The earlier memories would each have their own eight stages for processing. The therapist tries to find a touchstone memory which will have generalizable effects meaning that working with a one or a few of these memories is healing to the other similar memories. If these earlier touchstone memories aren't processed, the client is likely to get triggered again with another current situation that has similar elements to the touchstone memory. The mechanism for identifying the touchstone memory is the Float Back technique which is also known as the Affect Bridge in hypnotherapy (also known as clinical hypnosis).

An EMDR Therapist Writing Down the Client's History

• Phase 2: Preparation: The therapist explains the process, establishes safety for the client, and teaches the client coping skills (also known as internal resources) to manage emotional stress during trauma sessions and between sessions (see my article: Why is Establishing Safety So Important in Trauma Therapy?).

• Phase 3: Assessment: The therapist activates the traumatic memory that she and the client have chosen to work on by identifying specific images, the client's negative self beliefs, emotions and physical sensations related to the trauma. This is also known as setting up the EMDR protocol.

• Phase 4: Desensitization: Bilateral stimulation (eye movements, taps or tones) is used to reduce the distress associated with the memory. When clients have experienced ongoing trauma, such as developmental trauma during childhood, there can be many memories to process using the eight stages for each memory. For instance, if a client experienced extensive physical abuse as a child as well as bullying in elementary school and date rape in adolescence, each one of those experiences would need to be processed.

• Phase 5: Installation: A positive belief, which is identified by the client, is strengthened to replace the negative belief associated with a particular traumatic memory.

• Phase 6: Body Scan: The client checks for any remaining tension in the body linked to the traumatic memory. If there is tension in the body associated to the memory, the therapist uses bilateral stimulation until the tension dissipates.

• Phase 7: Closure: After each EMDR session, the therapist uses stabilization techniques, which might include debriefing/talking about the experience or a meditation, to ensure the client feels secure at the end of a session.

• Phase 8: Reevaluation: The therapist assesses the client's progress, determines the success of the treatment and plans the next step of the therapy in collaboration with the client.

What Are Emotional Blocks?

Emotional blocks are unconscious barriers to processing traumatic memories.

Overcoming Emotional Blocks in EMDR Therapy

An emotional block can occur at any phase of the EMDR processing.

I have been doing EMDR therapy regularly since 2006 and, unless a client comes with an uncomplicated one-time traumatic event, there will be emotional blocks during processing.

The emotional block can take many forms. One common example is the belief, "I don't deserve to feel better". 

When a therapist and client encounter an emotional block, to use a metaphor, it's like encountering a tree that has fallen across a train track. The train can't go any further until the tree, which is blocking the train track, is removed.

Similarly, EMDR processing won't go any further until the emotional block is removed. 

When a client and I encounter an emotional block in EMDR processing of a memory, I find it's useful and efficient to conceptualize the block as a part of a client. It might be a very young part (or inner child) or another part the client has internalized. 

Whatever the block might be, I have found that working with the part using Parts Work can help to soften or remove the block so that the part allows the processing to continue (see my article: Trauma Therapy: Combining EMDR Therapy and Parts Work to Overcome Emotional Blocks).

Another way to think about an emotional block is to think of it as a defense mechanism that was a survival strategy at one point (usually when the client was younger) but no longer is adaptive.

It's not unusual for there to be several emotional blocks along the way during EMDR processing and each one needs to be addressed before EMDR processing can continue.

Conclusion

EMDR therapy is one of several types of trauma therapies.

The trauma therapist assesses each client to determine which type of trauma therapy--whether it's EMDR, AEDP, Somatic Experiencing, Parts Work or a combination of these modalities is for a particular client. 

Getting Help in Trauma Therapy

If you feel stuck with unresolved trauma, you could benefit from working with a licensed mental health professional who is a trauma therapist.

Getting Help in Trauma Therapy

Freeing yourself from your trauma history can help you to live a more fulfilling life.

About Me

I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT (for couples), Parts Work (IFS and Ego States Therapy), Somatic Experiencing and Certified Sex Therapist.

As a trauma therapist, I have over 25 years of experience helping individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Also See My Articles:

Trauma Therapy: The Mind Has a Powerful Innate Ability to Heal Itself

What Does Processing Your Emotions Mean? 

How Are Emotions Processed in AEDP?

What is the Life Cycle of an Emotion?