NYC Psychotherapist Blog

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Friday, December 29, 2017

5 Tips For Bouncing Back From Routine Disappointments

Everyone experiences routine disappointments at some point in life (see my article: Are You Overreacting to Routine Disappointments?).  Disappointments are unavoidable.  The question isn't whether you will be disappointed but how well you can bounce back from disappointments.  The better you get at moving on from routine disappointments, the more resilient you become (see my article: Resilience: Bouncing Back From Life's Challenges).  In this article, I'm going to provide tips for rebounding from routine disappointments.
Bouncing Back From Routine Disappointments

5 Tips to Bounce Back From Routine Disappointments
  • Focus on Gratitude:  Although you might be disappointed about what you didn't get or that life is unfair, you probably have other areas in your life that are positive.  So, rather than focusing on what you don't have, focus on what you do have.  It might sound trite, but it will shift your mood, which is what you need to bounce back from a disappointment and not to wallow in it so that it colors everything in your life (see my articles: Is It Possible to Feel Gratitude Even When You're Sad?, Keeping a Gratitude Journal, and Getting Out of a Rut.
  • Give Yourself Credit For Coping As Best As You Can:  Making any kind of effort after a routine disappointment deserves recognition, including self recognition.  Too often people don't give themselves credit for being able to handle disappointing situations.  As part of your self recognition, remember other times when you got through routine disappointments and how these disappointments didn't have a major impact on your life.
  • Use Humor to Shift Your Attention and Lift Your Mood:  Watching funny movies, TV programs or listening or telling funny stories will release neurochemicals in your brain to shift your mood.  Don't underestimate what a change humor can make to help you to bounce back.  Having others join you can increase the benefit of using humor because humor is contagious.  Have you ever been in a crowd where people were laughing uproariously and you didn't even know what they were laughing about but their laughter made you laugh?  If so, then you know how powerful it can be to be in a group where there is humor.
  • Set Goals For the Important Areas of Your Life:  Rather than focusing on your disappointment and what you don't have, take some time to reflect on what you want for your future in each area of your life (personal life, career, and so on).  Then, set broad goals for how you plan to succeed in each area.  After you write down your broad goals, narrow it down by writing what you need to do in the next year (or longer), what you need to do in the next six months, in the next month, next week, etc., so you make the steps concrete and realizable (see my article: What's Holding You Back From Achieving Your Goals?).

What If It's a Major Disappointment?
Notice that, until now, I've been emphasizing routine disappointments.  Routine disappointments are things that everyone faces in one way or another fairly often.

In other words, routine disappointments aren't life changing.  But there are disappointments that are much more significant and that are harder to overcome.

For instance, if you found out that a close friend that you trusted betrayed you, that's a major disappointment, especially if it causes an unbridgeable breach in your friendship (see my article: Coping With a Close Friend's Betrayal).

To overcome major disappointments, all of the tips that I mentioned can be helpful, especially when you focus on what you're grateful for in life, but those tips aren't going to be enough for you to bounce back quickly because a major disappointment goes deep and hurts a lot.

Getting Help in Therapy
If you find that you're having a hard time rebounding from a disappointment, you might need help from a psychotherapist to work through the disappointment, especially a major disappointment (see my article: The Benefits of Psychotherapy and How to Choose a Psychotherapist).

A major disappointment, like a betrayal of a spouse or a friend, can make you feel like your whole world is falling apart.  It can make you question your beliefs and your judgment.  It might even result in your questioning your plans and what you want to do in life.

Rather than suffering on your own, you could benefit from the emotional support and clinical expertise of a licensed mental health professional.   A skilled psychotherapist can help you overcome a major disappointment more effectively than you could on your own, so you can eventually move on with your life.

About Me
I am a licensed NYC psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR and Somatic Experiencing therapist (see my article: The Therapeutic Benefits of Integrative Psychotherapy).

I have helped many clients to overcome major disappointments so they could go on to live fulfilling lives.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.