Dating: How to Move Beyond Small Talk

A steady stream of small talk during the initial phase of dating can be boring and feel superficial (see my article: What to Talk About on a First Date).

Moving Beyond Small Talk on a Date

Small talk lacks depth and fails to create a meaningful connection when you're trying to get to know someone.

Aside from this, it can be disappointing when the conversation remains on this level because the interaction feels flat and uninspiring.

People who cannot communicate beyond small talk will often find it difficult to transition to build momentum and excitement in the conversation. 

Suggestions on How to Move Beyond Small Talk

• Express Curiosity: Show you're interested in what your date is saying by showing your curiosity.  Ask open-ended questions. If there's something your date says that you don't understand, ask clarifying questions. If you can share a similar experience, you can show you relate to what they're talking about.

Moving Beyond Small Talk on a Date

• Share Personal Insights and Experiences: Open up and share a little bit about yourself. This can be a personal interest of yours, a small personal challenge or a recent experience.

Moving Beyond Small Talk on a Date

• Try to Find Common Ground: Talk about your interests and hobbies to see if you can find common ground with your date. This will provide you with an opportunity to explore your mutual interests together and deepen your connection.

Moving Beyond Small Talk on a Date

• Practice Active Listening: Pay attention to what your date is communicating both verbally and nonverbally. Avoid interrupting or jumping to conclusions and allow your date to finish what they're saying.

If you're able to follow these tips, you can move beyond small talk and develop a genuine connection.

About Me

I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT (for couples), Somatic Experiencing and a Certified Sex Therapist.

I work with individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Also See My Articles:

Floodlighting: How to Stop Oversharing During the Initial Stage of Dating

Why Do Some People Prefer to Text Instead of Meeting in Person?

Dating Again in Your 40s, 50s, 60s and Beyond

Are You Dating or in a Relationship?

Why Do People Leave Relationships By Ghosting?