NYC Psychotherapist Blog

power by WikipediaMindmap

Friday, July 27, 2012

Dating Again in Your 40s, 50s, 60s and Beyond

For many people who have ended long term relationships or marriages, entering the dating world for the first time in a long time when you're in your 40s and beyond can be challenging.  A lot has changed  in the dating scene, and it can be intimidating.

Dating Again in Your 40s, 50s, 60s and Beyond

When you're in your teens and 20s, it's easier to meet other single people because you're thrown together in high school or college. You don't have to make as much of an effort as you do when you're older and you have to seek people out.

After the end of a long term relationship, you might have a lot of mixed feelings about getting out into the dating world again.  

On the one hand, a lot of insecurities can come up for you about your age, your weight, your looks, and the fact that you're not familiar with this new world of dating.  It's tempting to stay home with the covers over your head and eat a pint of ice cream.  

Dating Again in Your 40s, 50s, 60s and Beyond

But, on the other hand, if you don't want to be alone, and there aren't a line of people standing outside your door dying to meet you, you need to make an effort to get over your fears and get out to meet people.

I won't go into all the ways there are to meet people these days, whether it's online dating services, speed dating, singles events or other activities.  This information is readily available.  I will add a note of caution that it's always best to meet people in a public place, especially before you get to know them well.  

I have worked with many clients who have found themselves single again after many years.  Their anxiety about entering this new phase of their lives is understandable, but many of them eventually felt an excitement about the possibility of meeting new people and having new experiences.

One woman, who loved to dance and who was married to a man for many years who hated dancing, was thrilled to meet a man who shared her enthusiasm for dancing.  They took ballroom dancing lessons together and had a great time together.  It opened up a whole new world for her.

I've know at least six or seven couples in their 50s and 60s who met online after being divorced or widowed for a long time.  They're having more fun now than when they were teenagers.  And they feel younger than they've felt in a long time.

Rather than engaging in a lot of negative self talk and indulging all your fears, have a positive attitude of openness and curiosity, and have fun.

About Me
I am a licensed New York City psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR therapist, and Somatic Experiencing therapist.

I work with individual adults and couples.  I have helped many people to overcome their fears about entering into new phases in their lives.

To find out more about me, visit my website:  Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Also, see my article:  Dating vs Being in a Relationship