What is the Approach-Avoidance Conflict in Psychotherapy and How Can IFS Therapy Help?

In my prior article, Why Are So Many of Us Fearful of Change While Others Embrace It?, I mentioned the approach-avoidance conflict as it relates to making changes.

The Approach-Avoidance Conflict

In the current article, I'm focusing on the approach-avoidance conflict as it relates to many clients in therapy.

What is the Approach-Avoidance Conflict in Therapy?

As I mentioned in the prior article, although many people want to make positive changes in their life, they often experience ambivalence about the change--even when it's something they really want.

As a New York psychotherapist in private practice, I see this all the time.

Since it's a common experience, if you learn to expect it, you can learn to accept and deal with that part of yourself that might want to avoid positive change.

So, let's explore this dynamic further.

In psychotherapy, the approach-avoidance conflict is a psychological state of tension that occurs when a client is simultaneously drawn towards and repelled by the exact same goal, action or dynamic.

The approach-avoidance conflict was originally introduced by Kurt Lewin, a psychologist, who described this dynamic as a "tug of war". 

This dynamic is key to understanding why at a certain stage of therapy many clients experience anxiety and stagnation about the changes they want to make.  

What is the Typical Pattern For the Approach-Avoidance Conflict in Therapy?

This conflict often operates on a predictable pattern based on how close clients are to their goal:

• The Approach to a Goal: When clients are far away from a goal, they can see the positive benefits of their goal ("the approach"). This motivates them to move forward.

• The Avoidance of a Goal: As clients move emotionally or physically closer to the goal, many of them begin to perceive negative consequences or fears ("the avoidance") which grows sharply the closer they get to their goal.

• The Point of Stagnation: Eventually, the force of the avoidance equals the force of the approach. At that point, these clients can get stuck as they experience anxiety, indecision or behavioral paralysis.

What Are the Clinical Scenarios Where the Approach-Avoidance Conflict Shows Up in Therapy?

Here are some typical examples:

Intimacy and Relationships:

• The Approach (Pull or Desire): Craving deep emotional connection and a loving relationship.

The Approach-Avoidance Conflict in Therapy

• The Avoidance (Fear): Fear of vulnerability, rejection or losing independence.

• Resulting Behavior: Sabotaging relationships just as they become serious.

Trauma Processing:

• The Approach (Pull or Desire): Wanting to heal, gain closure and reduce traumatic symptoms.

The Approach-Avoidance Conflict in Trauma Therapy

• The Avoidance (Fear): Fear of exploring traumatic memories and emotions.

• Resulting Behavior: Missing sessions or leaving therapy prematurely as the trauma work begins.

Career Change:

• The Approach (Pull or Desire): Desiring a fulfilling, high-paying and prestigious position.

• The Avoidance (Fear): Fear of failure, longer work hours or more responsibilities.

• Resulting Behavior: Procrastination in submitting a job application or applying for a promotion.

Behavioral Change

• The Approach (Pull or Desire): Wanting a healthier body and stable life.

The Approach-Avoidance Conflict and Behavioral Change

• The Avoidance (Fear): Fear of facing reality the necessary changes involved.

• Resulting Behavior: Reverting back to unhealthy behavior, missing sessions or dropping out of therapy prematurely.

How Does IFS Therapy Deal With the Approach-Avoidance Conflict?

IFS (Internal Family Systems) Therapy is uniquely suited for this dynamic (see my article: IFS Therapy is a Gentle Evidence-Based Therapy).

IFS Therapy and the Approach-Avoidance Conflict

The IFS therapist deals with the approach-avoidance conflict by recognizing that clients who experience this dynamic have a clash between two or more parts of themselves.

Instead of trying to push through the conflict, the IFS therapist helps clients to overcome this dilemma by identifying clients' internal parts and identifying the positive intentions of each of the conflicting parts. She also helps clients to negotiate between these conflicting parts.

What is the IFS Therapy Framework For the Approach-Avoidance Conflict?

In IFS, the "approach" and "avoidance" aspects of clients are seen as separate parts of the client who have good intentions. There is a recognition that these conflicting parts have served the client in the past by protecting old emotional wounds:

• The Approach Part: This is usually an internal proactive protective part. This part wants to move forward, achieve goals or seek connection because doing so will bring safety, fulfillment or a sense of increased self worth.

IFS Therapy and the Approach-Avoidance Conflict

• The Avoidance Part: This is usually a reactive protective part. It stops progress because it senses danger. It fears that moving forward will trigger an old emotional wound, shame or trauma from the past.

What is the IFS Therapy Step-By-Step Process For Resolving Internal Conflict?

The IFS therapist will guide the client through the following process to overcome the client's behavioral conflict:

Differentiating the Internal Parts: Instead of saying, "I want to change, but I can't", the therapist helps the client to reframe it: "A part of me wants very much to move forward, and another part of me is terrified to do it." In addition, the therapist helps the client to discover and embody Core Self, which is the compassionate and curious part of the client. This enables the client to look at both of these internal parts without taking sides.

• Honoring The Avoidant Part (The Protector): Traditional psychotherapy often wants to override the client's avoidance. IFS does the opposite: It focuses on the avoidant part first. The IFS therapist asks the client to get curious about the avoidant part by asking: "How is this part protecting you?" and "How did it protect you in the past?". Also, "What is this part afraid will happen if you take this step?" By validating that the avoidant part has a positive intention (e.g., protecting the client from rejection, failure or an old emotional wound), the protecting part usually loosens its grip. This usually doesn't happen immediately because the avoidant part must first learn to trust the Core Self of the client as well as the intention of the therapist.

IFS Therapy and the Approach-Avoidance Conflict

• Facilitating Internal Negotiation: Once each of the conflicting parts feels heard and seen by the client's Core Self and the therapist, the therapist helps the client to invite these parts to talk to each other. The Core Self might ask the avoidant part, "If I promise to go very slowly and protect you, would you be willing to allow the approach part to take a small step?" Since this protective/avoidant part is no longer being resisted or ignored, it usually agrees to soften or step aside temporarily.

• Working With the Wounded Part: Ultimately, the avoidant part is hypervigilant because it's protecting the wounded part of the client. Once this protector feels safe enough to step aside, the IFS therapist guides the Core Self to witness, work through the original trauma and heal. When the underlying emotional pain and trauma have been resolved, the avoidant/protector part usually drops the avoidant behavior because the underlying danger no longer exists.

Clinical Vignette

The following clinical vignette illustrates how the approach-avoidance conflict is overcome in IFS therapy:

John

When John met Donna, he felt a strong attraction to her and he asked her to go out on a date.

As they got to know each other, they both enjoyed each other's company and the new relationship energy that comes with being in a new relationship.

A few months later, as the relationship became more serious, Donna wanted a commitment from John but, even though he knew he loved Donna, he felt himself pulling away from her and he didn't understand what was happening to him.

At that point, Donna's friends told her she should end the relationship because they thought John was a "commitment-phobe".  But Donna felt John was struggling with some kind of internal conflict and she wanted to give him a chance to overcome the conflict, so she suggested that he get help in therapy.

IFS Therapy and the Approach-Avoidance Conflict

Since John also wanted to understand why he felt so conflicted about making a commitment with Donna, he started therapy with an IFS therapist.

John had never heard of IFS therapy, but he was curious as to how it might help him to overcome his internal conflict.

Over time, as they explored John's family history, they discovered that John had an unresolved trauma related to his mother's anxiety and depression. When he was a child, John felt he was unlovable because his mother was emotionally distant and his father was often away on business.

With the help of his therapist, John realized that this old emotional wound was making him feel emotionally vulnerable with Donna in a way where a part of him wanted to escape the relationship, but another part of him wanted to remain, which reflected his ambivalence.

The work in therapy was neither quick nor easy, but John was motivated to work through his internal conflict about making a commitment to Donna. With the help of his therapist, he was able to see the good intention of the avoidant part of him and how it protected him in the past when he was a child.

His therapist guided John into feeling curious and compassionate towards this avoidant/protector part so that, eventually, it softened enough so he and his therapist could work on his traumatized wounded child part.

Over time, John was gradually able to let go of his fear because he had an embodied sense that, unlike when he was a child, he was now safe and more capable of being in a committed relationship with Donna.

Once he was freed from his traumatic history, John made a commitment to Donna and they moved in together with the eventual goal of getting married.

Conclusion

Although many people want to make positive changes in their life, they often experience an ambivalence about the change as the change becomes more of a reality--even when it's something they really want.

In psychotherapy, the approach-avoidance conflict is a common psychological state of tension that occurs when a client is simultaneously drawn towards and repelled by the exact same goal, action or dynamic.

This is a common experience in therapy. 

In traditional psychotherapy, therapists often try to push through the ambivalence, which can make a client feel even more ambivalent, so this usually doesn't work.

An IFS therapist recognizes that we all have many different internal parts and some of these parts are polarized so they are in opposition to each other. They also recognize that this is often outside a client's awareness, so they reach for the ambivalence so it can be worked on.

IFS therapy is ideally suited for dealing with the approach-avoidance conflict.

Get Help in IFS Therapy

If you are stuck in an approach-avoidance dilemma, rather than struggling on your own, you could benefit from working with an IFS therapist.

Get Help in IFS Therapy

Being able to work through the conflict provides you with an opportunity to live a more fulfilling life.

About Me

I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, IFS Parts Work Therapist, EFT Couples Therapist, Somatic Experiencing and Certified Sex Therapist.

I have helped many individual adults and couples over the years.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

I provide a free 10-15 minute telephone call before setting up an appointment.

You can contact me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or you can email me.

Also See My Articles:

Fear of Change 

Overcoming Recurring Patterns of Self Sabotaging Behavior 

Strategies For Making Major Changes in Your Life 

What is Somatic IFS?

The Cycle of Perfectionism, Procrastination and Paralysis

In my prior article, Intergenerational Trauma: What is the Link Between Perfectionism and Unresolved Trauma?, I looked at perfectionism through the lens of trauma that is passed on from one generation to the next.

The Connection Between Perfectionism, Procrastination and Paralysis

In the current article, I'm discussing the cycle of perfectionism, procrastination and paralysis (also known as avoidance).

Cycle of Perfectionism, Procrastination and Paralysis

Perfectionism, procrastination and paralysis form a cycle where an obsession with perfection is the driver leading to avoidance (procrastination) and ultimately resulting in inaction (paralysis).

This self-sabotaging loop occurs because impossible standards create anxiety which makes starting or finishing tasks feel overwhelming and risky (see my article: Overcoming Self-Sabotaging Behavior).

Understanding the Cycle of Fear

• Perfectionism (The Driver): Striving for impossible results, setting impossibly high standards and using all-or-nothing thinking.

• Procrastination (The Behavior): Delaying work or some other action because of a fear that the outcome won't meet the impossibly high standards. This inaction or avoidance can be disguised as "waiting for the right time".

• Paralysis (The Result): Becoming stuck and unable to start or finish a task, project or other commitment due to the pressure of wanting it to be "perfect".

How to Break the Cycle

• Be Aware: "Done is Better Than Perfect": Focus on starting and completing tasks rather than making them "perfect".

• Break Down Tasks: Divide tasks into more manageable and less intimidating parts.

• Set Time Limits: Limit the time you spend "polishing" and trying to make something "perfect".

• Practice Self Compassion: Work towards calming down your inner critic and accept that mistakes are inevitable and part of the learning process (see my article: Making Friends With Your Inner Critic).

• Work on Underlying Issues: The cycle of perfectionism, procrastination and paralysis often develops at an early age related to unresolved psychological trauma. Working through these underlying issues with a licensed mental health professional can help you to get to the underlying issues and resolution to the problem.

Clinical Vignette

The following clinical vignette, which is a composite of many different cases, illustrates the cycle discussed above and how psychotherapy can help.

Jean

Ever since she was a child, Jean approached all tasks and projects with a lot of anxiety. Her parents made her do her homework over and over again until they assessed it was "perfect" (excellent penmanship, no erasures, etc).

When she got to college, Jean had problems getting her papers in on time because her need to make everything "perfect" would cause her to either rewrite her papers many times before she could turn them in or her fear of the papers being less than "perfect" caused her to procrastinate and get the papers in late. There were times when she felt so anxious that she wasn't able to even start the papers.

Cycle of Perfectionism, Procrastination and Paralysis

One of Jean's professors, who recognized that Jean was intelligent and hard working, suggested that Jean get help in therapy to overcome these problems.

Working in trauma therapy, Jean gained insight into the origin of her problem and used the tools and strategies her therapist provided to get her papers in on time.

As part of her therapy, her therapist, who used Internal Family Systems Parts Work Therapy (IFS), helped Jean to work through these issues by getting her inner critic to soften and step aside so she could complete her tasks. Jean also learned to strengthen her Core Self so she was no longer influenced by the parts of herself that strove for "perfection".

Get Help in Therapy

If self help techniques haven't helped you to overcome perfectionism, seek help from a qualified mental health professional.

Get Help in Therapy

Overcoming the root cause of your problem can help you to work through these issues so you can lead a more fulfilling life.

About Me

I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT (for couples), Parts Work (IFS and Ego States Therapy), Somatic Experiencing and Certified Sex Therapist.

As a Trauma Therapist, I have helped individual adults and couples over the years.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Debunking Common Myths About Anxiety

Anxiety is a common psychological condition; however, unfortunately, there are many misconceptions about anxiety (see my article: What is the Difference Between Fear and Anxiety?).

Debunking Common Myths About Anxiety

Anxiety is a treatable and legitimate condition--not a sign of personal weakness. 

Over 40 million adults experience some form of anxiety annually in the United States.

Debunking Common Myths About Anxiety

• Anxiety Isn't An Overreaction or Being "Dramatic": Anxiety disorders are mental health diagnoses that are real. 

• Anxiety Isn't a Sign of Weakness: Anyone can develop an anxiety disorder. It's not a sign of weakness and shouldn't be stigmatized. 

Debunking Common Myths About Anxiety

• You Can't Just "Snap Out of It" or "Relax": Anxiety isn't a voluntary condition. It requires help from a mental health professional.

• Avoiding Triggers Won't Cure Anxiety: Avoiding triggers can reinforce anxiety and make it worse over time. It requires active mental health treatment from a qualified licensed mental health professional (see my article: Avoidance Coping as a Maladaptive "Coping" Strategy).

• Anxiety Isn't in Your Mind: Anxiety includes physical and mental health symptoms which can include panic, racing heart, feeling dizzy, nausea and so on.

• Medication Isn't the Only Treatment: Psychotherapy, lifestyle changes and self care are often effective without medication. Each person who experiences anxiety needs to be assessed for their particular symptoms and their particular mental health needs, which might include medication. 

Note: The purpose of this article is only to provide information. An assessment and diagnosis needs to be made by a qualified medical or mental health professional.

Getting Help in Therapy For Anxiety

Anxiety can include many different types of anxiety-related diagnoses including panic attacks, posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and generalized anxiety to name a few (see my article: Getting Help in Therapy For Anxiety).

Getting Help in Therapy For Anxiety

If you have been experiencing anxiety, you owe it to yourself to get help from a licensed mental health professional.

Developing the tools and strategies to cope with anxiety and getting to the underlying issues can help you to lead a more fulfilling life.

About Me

I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT (for couples), Parts Work (IFS and Ego States Therapy), Somatic Experiencing and Certified Sex Therapist.

I have helped many individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To schedule a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Also See My Articles:

Debunking Myths About Depression

What is a Trauma Therapist? 

Posttraumatic Growth

Relationships: How Does Avoidance Push Ambivalence Underground?

Avoidance drives ambivalence underground by forcing intense internal conflicts into unconscious states of denial and behavioral withdrawal (see my article: Changing Maladaptive Behavior That Don't Work For You: Avoidance).

Avoidance Pushes Ambivalence Underground

When one or both partners in a relationship avoids dealing with their problems, they enter into a stalemate where the problems aren't addressed and internal conflicts grow. This can lead to increased emotional disconnection in the relationship.

How Does Avoidance Push Ambivalence Underground?

• Creating Internal Stalemate: When love or closeness threatens an individual's sense of self, their nervous system forces a move toward emotional isolation. This pushes the internal conflict into a hidden, often unspoken state, creating intense emotions that keep looping.

• Using Distractions and Substitutes: People who tend to avoid often create intense, externalized activities, including workaholism, spending an excessive amount of time on hobbies or shallow outside connections to fulfill emotional needs without facing the vulnerability of their relationship.

Avoidance Pushes Ambivalence Undergrouond

• Reinterpreting Intimacy as Danger: By treating emotional intimacy as a threat to their safety or autonomy, the desire for closeness is pushed underground by a default survival reflex which creates emotional distance.

• Boundary Setting Disguised as Vagueness: Instead of discussing the conflict directly, people who use avoidance often use vague statements like "I need more time" or "I'm not ready yet". This often hides the deeper inner conflict.

• Panic Can Overwhelm Love: By the time the conflict rises to the surface, the individual's actions are motivated by panic rather than love and this masks their true wants and needs.

Clinical Vignette

The following clinical vignette, which is a composite of many different cases, illustrates how avoidance pushes ambivalence underground and how therapy can help:

Jack

Jack met Linda when both of them were in their mid-30s. They both felt drawn to each other  immediately. 

Several months into their relationship, Jack's apartment lease was about to expire and Linda suggested that he move in with her. 

Initially, Jack agreed and then, as the date to move in with Linda got closer, he became increasingly anxious.  Linda tried to talk to Jack about his anxiety, but he put her off by saying, "I think it's too soon to move in together. I need more time to think about it." 

Avoidance Pushes Ambivalence Underground

Instead of moving in, Jack extended his lease for several more months to give himself time. In the meantime, Linda experienced her own anxiety about what Jack's ambivalence meant for their relationship.

Eventually, Jack moved in with Linda, but they spent less time together than when they were dating and living apart. He would spend long hours at the office and, when he was home, he spent much of his free time playing video games. 

When Linda tried to talk to Jack about his emotional distance, she felt she was getting nowhere because he made excuses. 

A few months after they moved in together, Linda told him that she was feeling increasingly lonely since he was either distracted with work or playing video games. She reminded him that she had told him early on in their relationship that she wanted to get married and have children and she was worried that their relationship was stagnating and time was passing.

Jack told her that he wasn't ready to consider marriage and he was nowhere near ready to think about children, "I feel like you're pressuring me when you know I'm not ready. I need time."

At that point, Linda gave Jack an ultimatum: Either they go to couples therapy to deal with their problems or she would leave him. 

Not wanting to lose Linda, Jack agreed to attend couples therapy, but his ambivalence continued to play out in couples therapy: He would make excuses not to go or find other reasons to avoid their sessions.

When the couples therapist confronted Jack with his ambivalence, he felt like he wanted to leave therapy rather than deal with his internal conflicts. But he knew if he stopped going to couples therapy altogether, he would lose Linda.

Over time, as the couples therapist got to know Linda and Jack better and understood their family histories, she pointed out the negative cycle that Jack and Linda were stuck in. She also pointed out how Jack's parents' marriage affected him: His father felt engulfed by his mother's emotional needs and he would find ways to avoid spending time with her.

As Jack became aware of the impact of his parents' relationship and the behaviors he was repeating in his own relationship, he knew he didn't want to make the same mistakes his parents made and he became more committed to working on his relationship in couples therapy.

Linda and Jack both learned tools and strategies to dig deeper into their unconscious motivations and how these motivations played out in their relationship.

Over time, Jack gradually became much less fearful of emotional intimacy and more committed to his relationship with Linda.  He allowed himself to be more emotionally present and vulnerable so that he was ready to make a commitment to get married. 

Several months after they got married, Linda became pregnant and she and Jack looked forward to raising a child together.

Conclusion

Avoidance pushes ambivalence underground by forcing internal conflicts into unconscious states of denial and withdrawal.

Avoidance Pushes Ambivalence Underground

The person who uses ambivalence to avoid these internal conflicts often doesn't realize they are using avoidance to push down ambivalence because this is an unconscious process.

When this occurs in a relationship, the other partner can feel like they are being strung along and then they need to make their own decisions.

Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy can help couples to see the negative cycle they are stuck in and provide them with ways to get out of the stalemate if they choose to get out.

In situations like this, the person who feels they are being strung along will often tell their partner to get help in individual therapy, but this is a relationship problem so it needs to be addressed by both individuals in couples therapy.

Getting Help in Couples Therapy

If you and your partner feel stuck in patterns that are causing problems in your relationship, you could benefit from working with a licensed mental health professional who has an expertise in working with couples.

Get Help in Couples Therapy

Rather than struggling on your own, seek help from an experienced couples therapist so you can have a more fulfilling relationship.

About Me

I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT couples therapist, Parts Work (IFS and Ego States Therapy), Somatic Experiencing and Certified Sex Therapist.

Over the years, I have helped many individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Also See My Articles:

What is Avoidance Coping? 

How to Stop Avoiding Conflict in Your Relationship 

Fear of Being Emotionally Vulnerable in a Relationship  

Dealing With an Ambivalent Partner 

Overcoming Ambivalence

 

How Avoidance of 1ntimacy Turns Into Emotional Distance in Relationships

One of the most common reasons why couples seek help in couples therapy is due to lack of emotional and sexual intimacy (see my article: Have You and Your Partner Stopped Having Sex?).

Sexual Avoidance Turns Into Emotional Distance

Why Do Couples Avoid Emotional and Sexual Intimacy?

Emotional and sexual avoidance is a complex issue with many possible causes including relational and psychological issues.

Sexual avoidance creates relationship distance by transforming lack of sexual avoidance into emotional detachment. 

Sexual Avoidance Turns Into Emotional Distance

Sexual avoidance is rarely just about sex. It often involves relational, emotional, psychological and behavioral factors. For some couples, it can include physical and medical factors.

Sexual avoidance and emotional distance often stem from one or both partners feeling the need to protect themselves from against vulnerability and pressure. 

Sexual Avoidance Turns Into Emotional Distance

This can set up a cycle where an avoidant partner pulls away and the other partner feels rejected, anxious and lonely.

Here are some of the most common reasons for sexual avoidance and emotional distance:

Relational Issues:

• Communication problems
  

• Lack of trust
  

• Power struggles
  

• Mismatched libido (also known as desire discrepancy)
  

• Lack of relationship satisfaction

• Other unresolved problems

Emotional and Psychological Issues:

Unresolved trauma for one or both partners including:

• A history of sexual abuse
  

• A history of sexual assault

• Anxiety including

• Performance anxiety
  

• Painful sex
  

• General anxiety
  

• Low self esteem
  

• Body image issues
  

• Negative conditioning including strict cultural or religious beliefs that associate sex with guilt and shame (see my article: Overcoming Shame and Guilt Due to Cultural Issues).

Physical or Medical Conditions

• Chronic pain

• Cardiovascular problems

• Diabetes

• Hormonal imbalances including low testosterone

Behavioral Patterns

• An obsessive avoidance of sexual intimacy

• A tendency to detach emotionally or feel unsafe with closeness

Getting Help in Sex Therapy

Sex therapy is a form of talk therapy where individuals or couples seek help (see my article:    What is Sex Therapy?).

Getting Help in Sex Therapy

Sex therapy does not include any nudity or sex during therapy sessions (see my article: What Are Common Misconceptions About Sex Therapy?).

Individuals and couples seek help in sex therapy for a variety of reasons (see my article: What Are Common Reasons Why Individuals and Couples Seek Help in Sex Therapy?).

Not all couples therapists have training as sex therapists so it's important to ask whether or not a couples therapist is a certified sex therapist.

Rather than struggling on your own, seek help from a licensed mental health professional who ia a certified sex therapist.

About Me

I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT (for couples), Parts Work (IFS and Ego States Therapy), Somatic Experiencing and Certified Sex Therapist.

I have over 25 years of experience working with individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Also See My Articles:

What is Sexual Self Esteem?

What is Good Sex?

Creating Sexual Desire With the Simmer Technique?