Relationships: Jealousy Isn't Love

Jealousy is a common emotion experienced in varying degrees in most romantic relationships (see my article: Overcoming Jealousy That's Ruining Your Relationship).

What is Jealousy?

Feeling jealous is often a signal of perceived danger to the relationship. 

Jealousy usually involves a fear of losing a partner to a rival. 

Jealousy Isn't Love

A little bit of jealousy can be a signal that you and your partner need to talk about insecurity and unmet needs. 

Communication between you and your partner about what makes each of you jealous or uncomfortable can help you to make positive changes in your relationship.

Why Do People Confuse Jealousy and Love?

People confuse jealousy and love because jealousy tends to: 

• Signal a deep emotional investment
• A fear of losing someone who is important 
• A perceived threat to a valued bond

Jealousy is often romanticized as proof of devotion, but this is incorrect because jealousy isn't love.

What Can Trigger a Jealous Reaction?

Almost anything can trigger a jealous reaction. It depends on the person.

Examples might include:

• Spending time with friends
• Talking to an attractive person at a party
• Going to lunch with a coworker
• Talking about a former romantic partner which is called retroactive jealousy

How is Jealousy Different From Envy?

People often confuse jealousy and envy.

Whereas jealousy is losing someone or something to a third party, envy is wanting something that someone else has.

When Does Jealousy Become Unhealthy?

A fleeting pang of jealousy which leads to you and your partner talking about the relationship in a calm and thoughtful way can be a good thing and can bring you closer.  

This is different from excessive jealousy.

Jealousy Isn't Love

Excessive jealousy can lead to:

• Obsessive thoughts and an inability to let go of fears, which leads to constant worry

• Controlling behavior like dictating who a partner can see or where a partner can go, dictating what a partner can wear, forbidding certain activities and so on

• Constant unwarranted suspicion with unfounded accusations and excessive questioning

• Possessive or accusatory reactions

• Invading privacy such as checking a partner's phone and demanding constant updates, which can erode a relationship

• Psychological manipulation using guilt or self pity

• Isolation such as trying to isolate a partner from friends and family

Overcoming Excessive Jealousy

• Self Reflection: If you're the partner who is excessively jealous, reflect on your behavior and identify your insecurities. Recognize that you have a problem and work on building your self esteem and confidence.               

Jealousy Isn't Love

• Personal Safety: If you're the partner who is experiencing excessive jealousy from your partner, consider your personal safety first. If your partner is threatening you, you need to confide in at least one trusted loved one and remove yourself from harm.

• Communication: Assuming you can both remain calm, speak openly with your partner about your feelings without blame.

Get Help in Therapy

• Seek Help: Seek help in individual therapy or couples therapy to work out issues around jealousy.

About Me

I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT (for couples), Parts Work (IFS and Ego States Therapy), Somatic Experiencing and Certified Sex Therapist.

I have worked with individual adults and couples for over 25 years.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Also See My Articles:

Recognizing When You Feel Safe or Unsafe in Your Relationships

Irrational Jealousy and Mate Guarding in Relationships

How Do You Know If You're in an Unhealthy Relationship?

Obsessive Jealousy

Overcoming Jealousy

Why "Happy Wife, Happy Life" Creates Problems in Relationships

When I work with couples who are trying to understand why their relationship isn't working, I often hear one partner say they don't understand why their relationship isn't working since they've done everything their partner wanted. 

"Happy Wife, Happy Life" Dynamic Creates Problems

Although the phrase "Happy Wife, Happy Life" assumes heterosexuality, the dynamics involved can apply to any relationship regardless of sexual identity, sexual orientation or any other identifiers.

Rather than using the words "wife" and "husband", I'm going to discuss these dynamics by referring to Partner A and Partner B: 

    Partner A is the person who tends to appease and sacrifice their own needs.

    Partner B is the one who expects to be appeased regardless of what Partner A really wants.

Where Did the Phrase "Happy Wife, Happy Life" Come From?

The phrase is a common cultural trope reflecting traditional gender roles where it's assumed that the wife's mood dictates the home's atmosphere.

Why "Happy Wife, Happy Life" Creates Problems in Relationships

The phrase "Happy Wife, Happy Life" creates problems in relationships because it suppresses emotions and honesty.

It also encourages avoiding conflict and truth to keep the peace. This often leads to emotional withdrawal and a false sense of harmony instead of a real emotional connection.

Here are the main problems:

• Fosters Codependency: Partner A's happiness and sense of self worth becomes tied to Partner B's mood with Partner A constantly appeasing and making sacrifices for Partner B (see my article: What's the Difference Between Codependency and Interdependency?).

• Creates Unequal Power: If Partner B's happiness is at the center of the relationship with Partner A catering to Partner B's whims, over time this will breed resentment and power struggles (see my article: Overcoming Power Struggles).

• Encourages Entitlement and Blame: Some partners who are in the role of Partner B can expect constant appeasement at the expense of Partner A's happiness. The implication is that if Partner A is unhappy, it's Partner A's own fault (see my article: Moving Beyond the Blame Game).

• Ignores Partner A's Needs and Autonomy: "Happy Wife, Happy Life" implies that Partner B's needs are more important than Partner A. This tends to damage both partners' happiness.

• Oversimplifies Relationship Dynamics: It oversimplifies relationship dynamics by reducing each partner to their role (the demanding Partner B and the appeasing Partner A) instead of individuals with their own unique needs.

How to Shift Out of the "Happy Wife, Happy Life" Mentality in Your Relationship

• Refocus on Both Partners' Happiness: Rather than focusing on one partner's happiness, refocus so that you and your partner are considering both of you.

Refocus on Both Partners' Happiness

• Shift From Avoidance to Engagement: Instead of seeing conflict as a threat, reframe conflict as an opportunity for deeper understanding and connection. This can foster emotional intimacy through understanding--not through silence and appeasement.

• From Self Centered Peace to Mutual Value: If you're in the role of the appeaser, recognize that your appeasement is probably driven by fear of upsetting your partner so your life will be peaceful. This isn't love. Love exists where both people feel valued and heard.  If you're in the role of having your way most of the time, recognize that your partner has needs too so seek a compromise.

Clinical Vignette

The following clinical vignette is a composite of many different cases with all identifying information changed to protect confidentiality:

Dan and Marie

When Dan and Marie sought help in couples therapy, they were already considering separating, but they decided to try couples therapy to see if they could save their marriage.

Dan explained that from the beginning of their relationship, he tried to make Marie happy by doing whatever she wanted. He said his father gave him advice before they got married, "Happy wife, happy life", and told Dan that if he made Marie happy, they would have a happy relationship.

Happy Wife, Happy Life Dynamic Creates Problems

Even though his father followed this advice in his own marriage with Dan's mother, they always seemed unhappy to Dan. They never discussed their relationship with Dan, but when he graduated high school, they sat down with him and told him they decided to get a divorce.  

At the time, Dan didn't question his parents, but he wasn't surprised.  Dan's father had become increasingly withdrawn over the years and Dan suspected that his parents were just waiting for him to graduate to end their relationship.

Marie told the couples therapist that she saw the same dynamic with Dan. He became  emotionally distant a few years into their marriage. She explained they hardly ever quarreled, but she often felt alone and lonely due to Dan's emotional withdrawal. She also indicated that she tried to talk to Dan about it but, even though he was aware of his withdrawal, he didn't know what was making him so unhappy in the relationship (see my article: Feeling Alone in a Relationship).

Both Marie and Dan agreed  that they stopped being interested in having sex a few years after they got married (see my article: Have You and Your Partner Stopped Having Sex?)

Marie explained that her father always prioritized her mother's needs over his own because he also believed in the "happy wife, happy life" philosophy.  Since her parents didn't believe in divorce, she knew they would stay together no matter what happened, but she didn't think either of them felt fulfilled in their relationship.

Their couples therapist knew they needed to work on creating emotional intimacy before dealing with their no-sex marriage.  So, she continued to explore the emotional dynamics in their relationship and she realized that Dan's belief that he had to appease Marie--even if it meant he was sacrificing his own needs--was a major problem in their relationship.

Their couples therapist helped Marie and Dan to understand the codependent nature of their relationship and helped them to take steps to change to a healthier interdependent dynamic.

It wasn't easy for them. It had been so long since Dan considered what he wanted that he had to work hard in therapy to identify his wants and needs.  Marie was also accustomed to having her way and making most of the decisions so, initially, she found it challenging too.

One major change they were facing was where they would move after they retired. Even though they were about 10 years away from making that decision, they both assumed they would move from New York to South Carolina after they retired because Marie had friends in SC. But when the couples therapist explored this decision with them, Dan and Marie realized this was something Marie wanted, but Dan was only going along with it to appease Marie.

Although Marie was disappointed, she didn't want Dan to be unhappy so they decided to compromise and consider other locations.

This was the beginning of Dan getting back in touch with his own needs and Marie realizing she needed to compromise.

Over time, as Dan asserted his needs and Marie became attuned to Dan, they were able to compromise more easily. Instead of being emotionally withdrawn, Dan became more emotionally present which allowed them to feel closer.

As they became closer emotionally, they also began to have sex again. At first, they were hesitant because it had been so long since they had sex, but as their emotional intimacy increased, they found their way back to each other sexually (see my article: Vulnerability as a Pathway to Greater Emotional and Sexual Intimacy).

It wasn't quick or easy, but by the time they completed couples therapy, they both felt more fulfilled in their relationship.

Conclusion

Regardless of sexual identity, sexual orientation orientation, age, race or any other identifiers, when one partner appeases the other while sacrificing their own needs, problems develop.

Refocus on Both Partners' Happiness

Learning to shift this unhealthy dynamic isn't easy, but the effort can often save a relationship.

Getting Help in Couples Therapy

Even when both people are motivated to change relationship dynamics, they can find it challenging.

Getting Help in Couples Therapy

If you and your partner are struggling to change your relationship, you could benefit from working with a couples therapist.

A skilled couples therapist can provide you with the tools and strategies to make changes so you can have a more fulfilling relationship.

About Me

I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR,  AEDP, Parts Work, EFT (for couples), Somatic Experiencing and Certified Sex Therapist.

I have over 25 years of experience working with individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Cultivating Hope During Uncertain Times

During uncertain times it's more important than ever to cultivate hope (see my article: Combining Hope With Meaningful Action).

Cultivating Hope During Uncertain Times

According to Viktor Frankl, holocaust survivor and author of Man's Search For Meaning, hope is a choice and a powerful force during the worst of times. 

He posited that everything can be taken away from an individual, but hope cannot be taken away (see my article: A Search For a Meaningful Life).

Cultivating Hope During Uncertain Times

Hope isn't contingent on external circumstances (see my article: Living With Uncertainty).  

Instead, hope is your own internal resolve and perspective. Hope requires a desire for a particular outcome and, even though that outcome isn't guaranteed, the act of hoping can strengthen your sense of resilience.

What Can You Do to Cultivate Hope During Uncertain Times?

To cultivate hope:

• Find Purpose and Meaning in Your Life: Engage in activities that give you a sense of purpose, meaning and joy (see my article: Finding Meaning and Purpose in Your Life After Trauma).

• Remember Your Successes From the Past: Remember the times in the past when you overcame challenges and allow those memories to motivate you.

Cultivating Hope During Uncertain Times

• Journal: Write down your thoughts, emotions, progress and insights along the way (see my article: Journaling Can Help Relieve Stress and Anxiety).

• Prioritize Connection and Community: Connecting with others who also want to cultivate hope can provide you with a sense of belonging and a community. Getting together with others can help build strong relationships and a collective sense of hope (see my article: The Need For Community and a Sense of Belonging).

• Seek Out Inspiration: Inspiration can come from others who have overcome whatever challenges you're facing. This could be people you know or you might find it in a story or biography about someone who overcame adversity.

• Challenge Your Negative Thoughts: Become aware of how your negative thoughts might be causing you to slip into a state of hopelessness and helplessness.  Don't allow your negative thoughts to spiral. Look for evidence, no matter how small, of a more hopeful outcome to problems (see my article: 5 Tips For Challenging Negative Thoughts).

• Reframe "What If" Thoughts: Instead of focusing on "What if I fail?" or "What if it all goes wrong?", reframe your thoughts to focus on what might be the silver lining in your situation (see my article: Developing a Different Perspective Through Reframing).

Cultivating Hope During Uncertain Times

• Take Small Steps: If the problem you're facing is big, take small and steady steps towards your goal so you can build momentum toward the bigger goal. 

• Celebrate Small Wins Towards Your Goal: Learn to celebrate small wins on your way to accomplishing your goal (see my article: How to Celebrate Your Progress).

• Practice Self Care: When you're going through uncertain times, you need to prioritize self care in ways that are meaningful to you. Eat well, get enough sleep and exercise at a level that's right for you to boost your mood (see my article: Taking the Time For Self Care).                        

Get Help in Therapy

If you are going through a particularly difficult time and self help strategies aren't enough, seek help from a licensed mental health professional.

Get Help in Therapy

A skilled psychotherapist can help you to overcome the obstacles that might be getting in your way so you can lead a more fulfilling life.

About Me

I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT (for couples), Parts Work, Somatic Experiencing and Certified Sex Therapist.

I have over 25 years of experience helping individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

 

Trauma Therapy: You Can't Change Your History But You Can Change Your Relationship to Your History So You Can Heal

Many people who are hesitant to get help to overcome the impact of their traumatic history think getting help in trauma therapy won't make a difference for them because it won't change what happened to them.

Trauma Therapy

How Can You Change Your Relationship to Your History of Trauma?

While it's true that you can't go back in time to change your history, you can heal in trauma therapy to reduce or eliminate the impact of traumatic experiences.

Transforming Trauma Into Resilience: Current modalities of trauma therapy can help you to transform trauma into resilience by:

• Acknowledging Your Feelings: Acknowledging the pain instead of suppressing it. This means feeling the pain and completing the trauma healing cycle. It does not include toxic positivity, which is not a genuine response to trauma.

• Developing a Support System: Instead of remaining isolated, you can develop a support system with trusted loved ones or support groups.

• Finding Meaning and Purpose: When you discover activities that align with your values, participating in these activities can provide you with motivation and a direction for your life (see my article: Posttraumatic Growth: Developing a Greater Sense of Hope and Meaning in the Aftermath of Trauma).

• Developing Better Coping Skills: Trauma therapy includes helping clients to develop better coping skills to manage emotions before and after processing trauma.

What is Resilience?

Resilience is the capacity to recovery from stress and trauma rather than avoiding hardship (see my article: Developing Emotional Resilience).

Trauma Therapy

Genuine resilience also means finding new hope and growth after trauma rather than pretending to yourself and others that the trauma made you "stronger" when this isn't how you really feel.

What Are the Different Types of Trauma Therapy?

Safe and effective types of trauma therapy include:

• EMDR Therapy (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing)

Trauma Therapy

• Somatic Experiencing
  

•  IFS (Internal Family Systems/Parts Work)

• AEDP (Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy)

Get Help in Trauma Therapy

If you feel stuck due to your traumatic history, you're not alone.

Get Help in Trauma Therapy

A skilled trauma therapist can help you to process your traumatic history so you can live a more meaningful life.

About Me

I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT (for couples), Parts Work, Somatic Experiencing and Certified Sex Therapist.

I have over 25 years of experiencing working with individual adults and couples to overcome trauma.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

 

Being Able to Identify Your Emotions Helps You to Build Emotional Intelligence

I've written about emotional intelligence (EQ) in prior articles (see my article: How to Develop Emotional Intelligence).

In the current article, I'm focusing on how identifying emotions helps to build emotional intelligence.

What is Emotional Intelligence?

Many people have difficulty identifying their emotions because they were never taught how to do it as children. As a result, as adults, they have difficulty developing emotional intelligence.

Identifying Emotions Helps to Build Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence includes the ability to:

• Recognize, understand and manage your emotions

• Recognize and understand the emotions of others

• Manage stress

• Navigate social situations

• Develop stronger relationships

• Build career success

Why Is It Important to Be Able to Identify Your Emotions?

Being able to identify your emotions helps you to understand your inner world which allows you to manage your reactions and navigate the world more skillfully.  

How Does Emotional Identification Build Emotional Intelligence?

Emotional identification helps you to develop:

• Self Awareness: This is the cornerstone of emotional identification and EQ. Being able to name your emotions (e.g., "I feel sad" or "I feel angry") is the first step. Self awareness allows you to move beyond just saying "I feel overwhelmed" or "I feel bad" to identify more specifically what you feel.

• Self Regulation: When you're able to name your emotions, you can gain the ability to regulate them.  This means you can pause and take a breath before you react.  This helps you to prevent disruptive impulses so that you can adapt your behavior in stressful situations and develop resilience (see my article: Responding Instead of Reacting).

• Improved Relationships: Being able to identify your emotions helps you to understand how you impact others. It helps to build empathy which can improve communication and build stronger bonds.

• Improved Decision-Making: Awareness of your emotional state helps you to make better decisions by making you aware of when your judgment might be clouded by your emotions. This can help you to make more rational decisions.

• Foresight and Preparation: You can learn to recognize and anticipate emotional triggers. This allows you to work on strategies to manage your emotions and to get help in therapy to work on the origin of those triggers.

Getting Help in Therapy

Even though you might not have developed the ability to identify emotions as a child, you can learn to develop emotional intelligence in therapy.

Getting Help in Therapy

A skilled psychotherapist can help you to learn the necessary tools and skills to develop emotional intelligence which will allow you to be more self aware and improve your relationships.

Developing a better understanding of yourself and your relationships can help you to lead a more fulfilling life.

About Me

I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT (for couples), Somatic Experiencing and Certified Sex Therapist.

I have over 25 years of experience helping individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Also See My Articles:

How Psychotherapy Can Help You to Be More Self Reflective and Aware

Why Emotional Inteligence is Important in Your Relationship

 

Why Do People Suppress Their Emotions?

Many people have a difficult time experiencing certain emotions in a healthy way so they suppress their emotions, which has health and mental health consequences.

Emotional Suppression

Which Emotions Are Commonly Suppressed?

The following emotions are the ones that are commonly suppressed among people who feel they need to hide these emotions:

• Anger: Anger is often perceived as being aggressive or out of control (even for people who are experiencing anger in a controlled way). Frustration and rage, which are part of anger, are often suppressed (see my article: Fear of Anger is Often Coupled With Guilt and Shame).

• Sadness or Grief: Crying or showing sadness or grief is often discouraged in our society, especially for men. This often leads to emotional suppression.

• Fear or Vulnerability: Society tends to value strength so showing fear or emotional vulnerability is discouraged (see my article: The Emotional Vulnerability of Being in a Relationship).

• Shame and Guilt: Shame and guilt are often discouraged in Western culture because there is a negative perception of emotions (see my article: Understanding the Difference Between Guilt and Shame).

• Envy and Jealousy: Many people push down feelings of envy or jealousy because these emotions are perceived as negative (see my articles: Overcoming Jealousy and Is Envy Ruining Your Relationships?).

• Disappointment: Disappointment is similar to sadness. Many people hide these emotions to appear "strong" and not to burden others (see my article: 5 Tips For Overcoming Routine Disappointments).

Why Do People Suppress Emotions?

Emotional Suppression

• Social Conditioning: As mentioned above, many people are taught to be "tough" or polite which leads to hiding emotions which are perceived as negative.

• Fear of Judgment: People who suppress certain emotions often fear that they will be judged or criticized for expressing certain emotions, so they suppress these emotions rather than expressing them.

• Maladaptive Coping Mechanism: People who suppress certain emotions hide these emotions as a maladaptive coping strategy to avoid discomfort or situations they feel would be overwhelming for them (see my article: Avoidance as a Maladaptive Coping Strategy).

What Are the Consequences of Emotional Suppression?

The most common consequences of emotional suppression include:

• Mental Health: People who suppress emotions are at a higher risk for anxiety, depression , emotional numbing and trauma-related issues as compared to people who express their emotions in a healthy way.

Emotional Suppression

• Physical Health: These symptoms include high blood pressure, heart problems, chronic pain and other physical symptoms (see my article: How Emotional Suppression Can Lead to Physical Health and Mental Health Problems).

• Emotions Resurface More Intensely: People who suppress their emotions often discover that these emotions resurface in a more intense way. They are also more at risk, compared to people who can express their emotions in a healthy way, for alcoholism, drug abuse and other impulsive or compulsive way

Get Help in Therapy

If you tend to suppress emotions that make you feel uncomfortable, you could benefit from getting help from a licensed mental health professional.

Get Help in Therapy

Learning to express your emotions in a healthy way can help you to be more self aware, reduce anxiety and stress, improve health and mental health and develop healthier relationships (see my article: Learning How to Express Your Emotions in a Healthy Way).

Rather than struggling on your own, seek help from a licensed psychotherapist so you can live a more fulfilling life.

About Me

I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, Parts Work (IFS and Ego States), Somatic Experiencing and a Certified Sex Therapist.

I work with individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Also See My Article:

Allow Yourself to Feel So You Can Heal

 

Making and Keeping New Year's Resolutions

As a psychotherapist and hypnotherapist in New York City, this is the time of year when I see new clients coming to therapy because they've decided to make important changes in their lives. This is the time of year when many of us take stock, think about our lives, and make New Year's resolutions about the things that we want to change about ourselves. 

Making and Keeping New Year's Resolutions

At the beginning of the New Year when people make their New Year's resolutions, many people start with enthusiasm, motivation and determination to make the changes that they want to see in their lives. 

However, after a month or two, many of those same people get frustrated and discouraged when they don't see the changes happening fast enough, and they abandon their efforts. When you work with a licensed mental health professional who has advanced training in clinical hypnosis, you're able to work more deeply on the unconscious issues that keep you from making the changes that you want to make. It's not as much of a struggle as when you try to do it on your own.

If you, like many others, are at the point when you've made your New Year's resolutions and you feel determined to make those changes, here are some tips that might be helpful:

• Recognize that Change is a Process: Since change is a process that happens over time, and usually not a one-time event, recognize that making changes, especially if you're trying to do it on your own, might take longer than you think.

• Focus on Changing Your Behavior: Instead of focusing on specific results (e.g., wanting to lose a specific amount of weight by a specific date), focus on changing your behavior. So, for instance, instead of saying, "I want to lose 15 lbs. by March 1st," focus on eating healthier and more nutritious meals. When you focus on healthier eating habits, your goal will be a broader change that will be longer lasting, more holistic and more effective than planning for particular weight loss. You're also more likely to keep off any weight that you've lost when you have a broader goal.

• Choose Only One or Two Changes at a Time: If you overwhelm yourself with too many New Year's resolutions at a time, you are probably setting yourself up for failure. Choosing one or two behaviors that you would like to change is more likely to be effective. As you see positive changes in those one or two areas that you want to change, you'll feel more confident about yourself. Then, after you've consolidated your gains in these areas, you can consider other areas that you'd like to change.

• Decide What You'd Like to Add to Your Life As Well: When you decide to make a change in yourself, decide what you'd like to add to your life as well. So, for instance, if you want to stop smoking and you know that you tend to smoke when you get anxious, think about what pleasant activities you can substitute for your old smoking habit when you feel triggered by anxiety. Attending a yoga class, going to the gym, talking to a friend, learning to meditate, or some other healthy activity that you would enjoy, might be among the activities that you choose to add to your life. So, it's not just about "giving up smoking." The overall goal is to lead a healthier life, you're learning new coping skills for when you get anxious, and you're also adding healthy activities to create greater happiness in your life.

• Recognize that You Might Slip Back into Old Behaviors: This gets back to the idea that change is a process. So, it's better not to engage in all-or-nothing thinking when you're trying to make changes in your life. Recognize that you might slip back into the old behaviors that you're trying to change. Plan for these slips so that you're prepared if and when they occur. For many people, this is the time when they become frustrated and they give up on their New Year's resolutions. So, rather than berating yourself and giving up, acknowledge that you're human, you had a slip, recommit to your goal and move on.

About Me
I am a licensed New York City psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, AEDP, EMDR, IFS Parks Work, EFT (for couples), Somatic Experiencing and Certified Sex Therapist.

I have helped many individual adults and couples to make positive changes so they can lead more fulfilling lives.

I wish everyone a Happy and Healthy New Year.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.