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One the one hand, it's understandable that people want to think carefully before beginning trauma therapy because it's a commitment.
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| Getting Help in Trauma Therapy |
On the other hand, it's possible to procrastinate and overthink it to the point where years go by and you're still dealing with the impact of unresolved trauma.
How Do You Know If You're Ready to Seek Help in Trauma Therapy?
Here are some characteristics that would be helpful:
- Some Awareness and Curiosity of the Impact of the Trauma: You have some awareness that traumatic circumstances in your life have had a negative impact on you. You might not understand the full impact, but you have a sense that your traumatic history is creating problems in your present life (see my article: Why is Past Trauma Affecting You Now?).
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| Getting Help in Trauma Therapy |
- A Desire and Willingness to Change: In addition to being aware of the problem, you have a desire and willingness to change. This includes realizing that working through trauma isn't a quick fix process (see my article: Developing Internal Motivation to Change).
- Feeling Emotionally Ready to Start the Process: You are at a point in your life when you feel ready emotionally to begin the process. Your trauma therapist will help you develop the necessary tools and skills to prepare for processing the trauma. The length of time for the preparation phase of trauma therapy varies depending upon a client's particular circumstances.
- Having the Time to Commit to the Process: You understand that trauma therapy involves a commitment of time and you can commit to once-a-week trauma therapy to work through yout traumatic history.
- A Willingness to Confront the Problem: Although you know it will be challenging, you are willing to confront the problem with help and support from your therapist.
- An Openness to Emotional Vulnerability: You understand working on the problem will involve opening up emotionally to traumatic events from the past, but that you're in charge of deciding when you're ready to start processing the trauma and your therapist will assess with you the timing of the processing.
The following clinical vignette is a composite of many cases (to protect confidentiality) and illustrates one possible pathway for the decision-making process:
Anna
A few years after Anna graduated college, she was aware she was having problems connecting on an emotional and sexual level with men.
She watched videos, listened to podcasts and read articles about psychological trauma, so she had some awareness that there was something in her history that was affecting her in her present life.
Initially, she was afraid to seek help in therapy because she was feared therapy would be too overwhelming, so she thought about it for a several years and kept putting it off. But when she heard about a close friend's experience with trauma therapy, she became curious for herself.
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| Getting Help in Trauma Therapy |
Her friend, Carol, told Anna she was also scared to start trauma therapy at first, but she felt motivated to get help because her relationship with John was getting serious and she realized she was worrying she might create the same tumultuous relationship her parents and she really didn't want to that.
Carol told Anna that, after talking to another friend about trauma therapy, she got curious to find out what it was about. So, she had an hourlong consultation with a trauma therapist who described the process to her and she realized the therapist would go at Carol's pace. She also realized she felt comfortable with this therapist.
Carol also told Anna her therapist prepared her to process her traumatic family history using EMDR Therapy. Carol said the therapist also used Parts Work Therapy.
Carol said she learned so much about herself and, even though she was still processing the trauma, she was beginning to feel like a weight was being lifted from her.
She also began to realize she wouldn't repeat her parents' dysfunctional patterns and it was possible for her to have a healthy relationship with John.
Anna trusted Carol. She also knew she wanted to be more open emotionally and sexually so she could eventually get into a relationship. So she set up a consultation with another trauma therapist who was recommended to her.
During the consultation, the trauma therapist asked her what she wanted to work on in therapy. In addition, the therapist explained the different types of trauma therapy she did including:
- EMDR Therapy (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing)
- AEDP (Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Processing)
- Hypnotherapy (also known as Clinical Hypnosis)
She also explained the preparation phase of trauma therapy and that it would be Anna's decision when she felt ready to go on to the next stage, processing the trauma.
After her initial consultation, her trauma therapist helped Anna to develop the skills and tools she needed to process her trauma.
When both Anna and her therapist felt she was ready, they began working on processing her trauma keeping in mind Anna's goal of becoming more emotionally and sexually open.
Over time, Anna noticed small positive changes in herself where she began to feel more open and curious about opening up emotionally and sexually.
Her therapist told her that setbacks are a normal part of the therapy process on the road to healing, so Anna wasn't surprised when she had a minor setback.
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| Getting Help in Trauma Therapy |
When Anna began dating Bill, she felt more comfortable with him than she had ever felt in the past with other men. He was willing to take things slowly until they dated for a while.
Over time, as she continued to process her childhood history in trauma therapy, Anna was able to open up to be more vulnerable with Bill.
She also enjoyed her therapy sessions, even though she had to process difficult memories, because she was learning about herself and she was opening up to new possibilities in her life.
Getting Help in Trauma Therapy
If you have been on the fence for a while about getting help in therapy, you can start by contacting a therapist for a consultation.
Use the time in the consultation to ask about the therapy process, how the therapist works and any other questions you might have about trauma therapy.
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| Getting Help in Trauma Therapy |
You might need to have more than one appointment to tell if you feel comfortable with the therapist or you might need to see a few therapists before you know which one to choose (see my article: How to Choose a Therapist).
Freeing yourself from your traumatic history can lead a more fulfilling life.
About Me
I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT (for couples), Somatic Experiencing and Certified Sex Therapist.
I have over 20 years of experience as a trauma therapist helping individual adults and couples to overcome traumatic experiences.
To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.
To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.
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