What Are the Emotional and Psychological Reasons For the Popularity of Romance Novels?

Several years ago, while I was taking a writing course, I was surprised to find out that romance novels are a billion dollar industry which consistently outperform other fiction genres. 

In 2023, sales of romance novels in the United States reached over $1.4 billion. 

Psychological Reasons for the Popularity of Romance Novelshope,

After I found out that one of my favorite sex educators discussed romance novels as a way to rekindle passion in sexless marriages, this really piqued my curiosity to take a deeper dive into the emotional and psychological reasons for the popularity of romance novels.

It turns out that 82% of readers are women, but in recent years some men are also becoming interested in this genre.

The Popularity of Jane Austen Novels

Jane Austen, whose books were published in the early 19th century, became one of the first female authors who popularized romance novels. They also dealt with the social commentary and comedy of manners. 

In current times, Jane Austen's books, which include Pride and Prejudice, Sense and Sensibility, and Emma, to name a few, are now seen as part of the historical fiction genre.

Younger Readership and the Influence of Social Media

Over the years, the readership has become younger with a significant portion of readers in the 18-44 year old range.

Social media has also boosted the popularity of romance novels, especially #BookTok on TikTok, which has made this genre "cool" again.  Social media also boosts sales and also influences the type of romance novels published in recent times.

Subgenres of Romance Novels

Romance novels include many subgenres including:

• Contemporary
• Historical
• Paranormal
• Romantic suspense
• Erotic romance
• Fantasy
• Science fiction
• Young adult
• Inspirational 

What Are the Emotional and Psychological Reasons For the Popularity of Romance Novels?

Here are the most common reasons:

• Hope and Optimism: Romance novels provide an optimistic escape. The reader is assured of a happy ending. In fact, one of the hallmarks of romance novels is the "happily ever after" ending (HEA). Some books provide a "happy for now" (HFN) ending. The two characters who fall in love often have to overcome obstacles to be together, but the reader is assured that, by the end of the novel, the couple will be together.

Psychological Reasons for the Popularity of Romance Novels

• Emotional Intimacy: Since readers are given access to the characters' thoughts and emotions, they can experience a deep connection with the characters. This connection provides them with a vicarious emotional and empathic experience.

• Relatable Human Connections: Love, relationships and human connections are universal themes so they are relatable to most people regardless of their own relationship status.

• A Sense of Safety and Predictability: The understanding that there will be a happy ending (or happy for now ending) provides a sense of comfort and reassurance which is in contrast to real life where there is no such reassurance.

• Empowering Narratives: Many contemporary romance novels have strong, independent female characters who are relatable to female readers.

• Increased Representation: Over the years, the genre has become more inclusive with a wide array of backgrounds, ethnicities and sexual orientations.

• Female-Centered Stories: Romance novels tend to have female-centered narratives. In recent years stories about empowered women provide stories that are relatable to most women.

What Are the Social and Cultural Factors For the Popularity of Romance Novels?

In addition to the emotional and psychological reasons for the popularity of romance novels, there are also social and cultural reasons including:

• Community and Social Media: As previously mentioned, social media platforms, like #BookTox, have created massive communities where readers find new books to read together.

• Accessibility: Many romance novels are accessible in terms of format and length. This makes these novels easy to read and discuss with others.

• Affordability: Romance novels are often sold at a relatively affordable price. This makes them easy to purchase.

What is the Connection Between Romance Novels and Sexual Fantasies?

Romance novels and sexual fantasies are connected through shared themes of desire, fantasy and emotional fulfillment (see my article: Exploring Sexual Fantasies Without Guilt or Shame).

These novels act as a tool for readers to explore these fantasies in a safe context. They can also stimulation readers' imagination to explore new sexual activities while experiencing a sense of empowerment and and self confidence by relating to the characters (see my article: Finding Your Sexual Voice).

More about the connection between romance novels and sexual fantasies in a future article.

About Me

I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT (for couples), Parts Work (IFS and Ego States Therapy), Somatic Experiencing and Certified Sex Therapist.

I work with individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Also See My Articles: 

Exploring Sexual Fantasies Without Guilt or Shame

Are You Too Shy to Talk to Your Partner About Sex?

What Are. Ravishment Fantasies?

BDSM: What Does It Mean to Be a "Brat"?

What is Kinky Sex?

What Are the Similarities and Differences Between IFS Parts Work Therapy and Contemporary Psychoanalysis?

In my prior article, Integrating Contemporary Psychoanalysis and Experiential Therapy, I discussed integrating experiential therapy and contemporary psychoanalysis.

IFS Parts Work and Contemporary Psychoanalysis

As I mentioned in that article, experiential therapy includes :

• Hypnotherapy (also known as Clinical Hypnosis)

• EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) Therapy

• AEDP (Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy)

• Parts Work Therapy (Ego States Therapy and IFS: Internal Family Systems)

• Emotion Focused Therapy For Couples (EFT)

• Somatic Experiencing

In the current article I'm exploring the similarities and differences between IFS Parts Work Therapy and contemporary psychoanalysis, in particular, relational psychoanalysis.

For a basic explanation of contemporary psychoanalysis and experiential therapy see my prior article.

Similarities Between IFS Parts Work Therapy and Contemporary Psychoanalysis

Both IFS Parts Work Therapy and contemporary psychoanalysis:

• Recognize the Importance of the Unconscious Mind: Mental processes in contemporary psychoanalysis and parts work in IFS emphasize the importance of the unconscious mind (see my article: Making the Unconscious Conscious).

IFS Parts Work and Contemporary Psychoanalysis

• Non-Pathologizing Stance: Both therapies have moved away from the pathologizing the client's internal world which was common in traditional psychotherapy in the past. Specifically, IFS views the client's internal world as made up of various parts that have good intentions. Contemporary psychoanalysis focuses on understanding the client's internal object relations and defenses rather than labeling them as problems.

• A Goal of Self Understanding: Both therapies promote the client's self understanding and self acceptance.

• The Influence of the Past in the Present Day: Both approaches acknowledge the here-and-now experiences of the client as well as the influence of the client's personal history, including early relationships.

Differences Between IFS Parts Work Therapy and Contemporary Psychoanalysis

The Client's View of Self

• IFS Parts Work: Assumes an inherent undamaged Core Self within every person. Core Self is composed of the 8 Cs: Compassion, calmness, curiosity, creativity, confidence, clarity, courage, connectedness. A primary goal of IFS is to access the Core Self so the client can be lead from Core Self and not by their various parts.

IFS Parts Work and Contemporary Psychoanalysis

• Contemporary Psychoanalysis: Assumes the self is a product of interpersonal relationships and internal representations (object relationships). The focus is on developing a cohesive, authentic self within the relational matrix.

The Therapist's Role

• IFS Parts Work: The therapist is a guide and a mediator to help the client to focus on their Core Self and work with their internal parts (also known as subpersonalities).

IFS Parts Work and Contemporary Psychoanalysis

• Contemporary Psychoanalysis: The therapist is an active participant in the therapy with a "real" relationship between the therapist and the client. The focus is on the therapeutic relationship as a vehicle for an emotional corrective experience and insight.

Technique

• IFS Parts Work: The therapist uses experiential techniques, including internal dialog and visualization, to interact directly with the internal parts.

• Contemporary Psychoanalysis: There is an emphasis on exploring transference and countertransference and the client's internal world as it manifests in the therapy.

Focus on Transference

• IFS Parts Work: Transference is understood as the client's internal parts interacting with the therapist's internal parts. When it is therapeutically beneficial, the therapist might comment on their own parts in an effort to inform the client's process.

IFS Parts Work and Contemporary Psychoanalysis

• Contemporary Psychoanalysis: The client's transference and the therapist's countertransference are central to the therapy. Both transference and countertransference offer important information about the client's internal world as well as past and present relationships.

Use of Metaphor

• IFS Parts Work: Uses a concrete metaphor about the client's "internal family" with specific roles for these parts (managers, firefighters, exiles) to understand the structure of the client's internal world.

• Contemporary Psychoanalysis: Tends to use more theoretical and nuanced language to describe internal dynamics, often viewing parts as metaphors for defended affects and anxiety responses.

Client Empowerment

• IFS Parts Work: Emphasizes "self leadership" (Core Self) to empower clients to foster lifelong skills and internal harmony (see my article: Parts Work Can Be Empowering).

IFS Parts Work and Contemporary Psychoanalysis

• Contemporary Psychoanalysis: Relational approaches to contemporary psychoanalysis have shifted to a more collaborative approach in therapy between the client and the therapist with the understanding that the therapy is co-created between therapist and client.

Integrating IFS Parts Work and Contemporary Psychoanalysis

As I mentioned in my prior article, many psychotherapists who have a contemporary psychoanalytic background, like me, are also trained in IFS Parts Work.

The integration of both approaches is beneficial for clients because they get the benefits of an in-depth, relational therapy, like contemporary psychoanalysis, and an embodied approach, like IFS, to combine the best parts of both approaches.

About Me

I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT (for couples), IFS and Ego States Parts Work Therapist, Somatic Experiencing and Certified Sex Therapist.

I work with individual adults and couples

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Also See My Other Articles About IFS Parts Work Therapy:

How Does Parts Work Therapy, Like IFS and Ego States Therapy, Help You to Understand Yourself

Understanding the Different Parts of Yourself

Parts Work Therapy Can Be Empowering

How Can IFS Parts Work Therapy Help With Anxiety?

Is an Unconscious Part of Yourself Running Your Life?

Also See My Article About Contemporary Psychotherapy:

Redefining the Traditional View of "Resistance" in Psychotherapy

Integrating Contemporary Psychoanalysis and Experiential Therapy

As a psychotherapist of nearly 30 years, I've found that many people still think of psychoanalysis as Freudian psychoanalysis--even though this is an outdated perspective.

Integrating Contemporary Psychoanalysis and Experiential Therapy

Why Does the Public Still Have Outdated Views on Psychoanalysis?

Since Freud was the founder of psychoanalysis, it's understandable that people still view psychoanalysis in this outdated way.

Contemporary psychoanalysis has undergone significant changes in the last 50 or so years but, unfortunately, it hasn't gotten much publicity outside of psychoanalytic circles.

Pop culture tends to focus on outdated and stereotypical perspectives on psychoanalysis related to the early days of psychoanalysis such as: 

• Clients lying on the couch 
• Therapists sitting behind them
• Clients free associating and talking about their childhood
• Therapists sitting silently maintaining a "neutral" presence
• Therapists taking notes and occasionally makes "interpretations"

What is Contemporary Psychoanalysis?

Contemporary psychoanalysis moves beyond classical analysis to emphasize the relationship between the client and the analyst.  They also incorporate various other disciplines (see later in this article). In addition, contemporary psychoanalysis includes:

• A Relational Dynamic: The relationship between the client and the therapist is seen as the primary vehicle for change. Contemporary psychoanalysis focuses on the "here and now" of the interaction. This is a shift from older models of psychoanalysis where the focus was historical and the analyst was viewed as a detached authority in the therapy.

• Collaboration and Mutuality: Contemporary psychoanalysis is seen as collaborative and interactive where both the client and the therapist are involved in a two-person psychology. The internal world of the therapist and client can intersection and the mutual influence is understood and worked (see my article: Psychotherapy as a Co-created Process Between Clients and Therapists - Part 1 and Part 2).

Integrating Contemporary Psychoanalysis and Experiential Therapy

• Integration of Research: Contemporary psychoanalysis incorporates findings from other disciplines to build a more comprehensive understanding of the mind, including:
• Child development
• Attachment theory
• Neuroscience
• Memory research

• Emphasis on Subjective Experience: Contemporary psychoanalysis values the unique and subjective experience of the client to understand their inner world in a way that is meaningful and transformative for the client.

• A Goal of Deeper Insight: Contemporary psychoanalysis strives to uncover unconscious processes and relational patterns that keep a client "stuck." It allows for a deeper understanding of the client and new ways of relating (see my article: Making the Unconscious Conscious).

Integrating Contemporary Psychoanalysis and Experiential Therapy

• Rigorous Training: To become a contemporary psychoanalyst, a therapist must undergo intensive training at a psychoanalytic institute and their own three-time-a-week psychoanalysis, clinical supervision and coursework. In addition, contemporary psychoanalysts usually continue to keep up with new theories, training and continue to work on their own personal development (see my article: Striving to Be a Lifelong Learner).

Integrating Contemporary Psychoanalysis With Experiential Therapies

I completed my four year psychoanalytic training in 2000. 

After I completed my psychoanalytic training, I trained in various Experiential Therapies including:

• Hypnotherapy (also known as Clinical Hypnosis)

• EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) Therapy

• AEDP (Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy

• Parts Work Therapy (Ego States Therapy and IFS: Internal Family Systems)

• Emotion Focused Therapy For Couples (EFT) (EFT)

• Somatic Experiencing

I also became certified in Sex Therapy to work with individuals and couples who are having sexual/relational problems. As of this writing, I also teach and supervise at a sex therapy institute in New York City.

As a psychotherapist who works in a contemporary way, I have found that integrating contemporary psychoanalysis with experiential therapy produces the best results, especially when working with a client's unresolved trauma (see my article: Integrating Contemporary Psychoanalysis and EMDR Therapy For Trauma Work: A Powerful Combination).

Combining contemporary psychoanalysis and experiential therapy provides an opportunity to integrate depth psychology and the embodied mind-body connection including:

• A Relational Focus: The "here-and-now" focus on contemporary psychoanalysis is also found in experiential therapy like AEDP, EMDR, IFS, Ego States Parts Work, hypnotherapy, Somatic Experiencing and other experiential therapies.

• An Embodied Experience: An integration of contemporary psychoanalysis and experiential therapies emphasize the client's and therapist's embodied experience. Together they link physical sensations and non-verbal cues (key components to all experiential therapies) to relational patterns, central to contemporary psychoanalysis (see my article: Experiential Therapy and the Mind-Body Connection: The Body Offers a Window Into the Unconscious Mind).

Integrating Contemporary Psychoanalysis and Experiential Therapy

• Affect Regulation: Therapists who use experiential therapies help clients to regulate their emotions which would otherwise be overwhelming. At the same time, contemporary psychoanalysis helps the client to understand the historical perspective of their emotional responses.

• Trauma Work: Experiential therapies provide evidence-based protocols for processing trauma. At the same time, contemporary psychoanalysis helps to contextualize the client's personality and history. 

• Challenging the "Quick Fix" Mentality: Both contemporary psychoanalysis and experiential therapies challenge the idea that there can be a "quick fix" to long-standing problems. While it's generally true that experiential therapies can potentially bring about transformation in a more efficient way than psychoanalysis, especially for one-time trauma, both contemporary psychoanalysis and experiential therapies attempt to achieve a more meaningful and longer lasting transformation than "quick fix" modalities (see my article: Beyond the Band-Aid Approach to Overcoming Psychological Problems).

Conclusion

Contemporary psychoanalysts who integrate experiential therapies value a flexible, client-centered approach that provides the deep contextual understanding of modern psychoanalysis and with the application of powerful, targeted experiential therapy techniques.

About Me

I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT (for couples), IFS/Ego States Parts Work, Somatic Experiencing and Certified Sex Therapist.

I work with individual adults and couples (see my article: The Therapeutic Benefits of Integrative Psychotherapy).

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Discovering Your Core Self in IFS Parts Work Therapy?

I've written several articles about IFS Parts Work Therapy in the past (see the links at the end of this article).

Discovering Core Self in IFS Therapy

What is Core Self in IFS Parts Work Therapy?

IFS is Internal Family Systems, an evidence-based therapy developed by Dr. Richard C. Schwartz to help clients heal from psychological trauma.

From the IFS perspective, Core Self is an inate state of being that everyone possesses.

Unlike parts, which are like subpersonalities in IFS, Core Self isn't a part of the personality.  IFS posits that the Core Self is in a self leadership role in every person and one way to describe Core Self is in terms of the 8 Cs:

• Compassion
• Curiosity
• Clarity
• Creativity
• Calmness
• Confidence
• Courage
• Connectedness

How Can You Access Your Core Self?

The Core Self can be accessed through various practices including: 

• Mindfulness: A basic mindfulness exercise involves focusing on your breath while allowing whatever thoughts and feelings to come up without judgment.

• Meditation: Guided meditations can help you to connect with your Core Self so you can experience yourself in a deeper way.

Discovering Core Self in IFS Parts Therapy

• Self Compassion: Practicing self compassion is key to connecting with your Core Self. Self compassion allows you to connect with yourself in a loving nonjudgmental way. 

• Focusing on Your Body: Taking time to notice physical sensations in your body in a gentle and loving way can help you to connect with your body's innate wisdom (see my article: The Mind-Body Connection: The Body Offers a Window Into the Unconscious Mind).

How is Core Self Different From Parts of Yourself?

• Parts: Everyone is made up of a multiplicity of selves.. In this case, I'm not talking about multiple personality disorder. Instead, I'm talking about the many subpersonalities that everyone possess that carry many emotions, beliefs and histories. There are no "bad parts" and it's not the goal of IFS to get rid of any of the parts. However, some of the parts might be in need of healing because they have taken on extreme roles due to trauma.

• Core Self: Core Self is distinct from parts. The Core Self, which is also called the True Self, Higher Self or the Self (with a capital "S"), is the source of your inner wisdom and healing. When you are within the perspective of your Core Self, the Core Self can work with your parts instead of being overwhelmed by parts.

The Core Self can be difficult to access when your parts are activated and "in charge" of you, but you can learn to access Core Self (as described in the vignette below).

Clinical Vignette

The following clinical vignette, which is a composite of many cases, illustrates how a client in IFS Parts Work Therapy can access Core Self to heal from trauma:

Tina

When Tina sought help in IFS Parts Work Therapy, she felt overwhelmed by unresolved childhood trauma.

Discovering Your Core Self in IFS Therapy

Although she had close friends, Tina had difficulty maintaining romantic relationships once they became serious. Over time, Tina became emotionally distant in her relationships because she felt too emotionally vulnerable to express her feelings with the partner she was seeing at the time.

Her pattern was that she would be happy and excited to get into a new relationship, but when she and her partner developed deeper feelings for each other, her trauma symptoms got triggered.

She grew up in a family where her mother was emotionally distant and her father, whom she felt a closer connection to, disappeared one day when she was seven years old. After that, her mother became depressed and barely got out of bed, so Tina's aunt came to help them.

No one ever discussed what happened to her father and, as many children do, Tina blamed herself for her father abandoning the family.

Several years later, Tina found out from a neighbor that her father left her family to be with another woman and he started a new family. When Tina tried to contact him, her father refused to talk to her.

Many years later, when Tina was in her 30s, her father contacted her out of the blue because he had terminal cancer. By then, his second wife had left him and his children from the second marriage didn't want to maintain contact with him.

Since her father had no one to look after him, Tina allowed him to stay with her while he had cancer treatment. She had a lot of ambivalence about taking him in, but she didn't feel she could send him away.

During the next two years, Tina and her father worked towards reconciling their father-daughter relationship. Her father regretted how he left her and her mother and he asked for Tina's forgiveness. Knowing he was going to die, Tina told him that she forgave him, but deep down she still felt the hurt and pain of her younger self who was abandoned.

This hurt and pain related to her father's abandonment carried over into her romantic relationships as soon as she became emotionally invested in the relationship.  She feared she would be abandoned again and she dealt with it by becoming emotionally numb.

When Tina sought help in IFS Parts Work Therapy, her therapist provided her with psychoeducation about IFS.

She also helped Tina to develop the necessary tools and coping strategies to do the deep work involved with IFS, and Tina also journaled and meditated between sessions.

After her therapist discussed Core Self, Tina took time during her busy week to access this deeper part of herself through mindfulness meditation.

Over time, she also learned to distinguish between the fearful and anxious parts of herself and her Core Self. She knew that whenever she felt fearful or anxious, she was looking through the perspective of one or more parts. And when she felt calm and compassionate, she was in touch with her Core Self.

Discovering Your Core Self in IFS Parts Work Therapy

This was the early stage of her IFS therapy and she was aware she and her therapist needed to do work on the parts that were causing her to feel fear and anxiety.  But after she learned to switch her perspective from her parts to her Core Self, she felt calmer and more in charge of her life.

Over time, with the help of IFS Therapy, Tina was able to develop a new relationship beyond the initial honeymoon stage. Although it was challenging for her, she used the tools she learned in IFS to heal her trauma and remain in her relationship.

Conclusion

Core Self is the innate essence that everyone possesses.

It can be challenging to access Core Self when you are immersed in parts, including anxious, fearful, shamed or angry parts.

IFS Parts Work Therapy provides ways to access Core Self during the initial stage of IFS Therapy.

Once clients can access their Core Self, they can work in IFS to deal with the wounded and traumatized parts.

Getting Help in IFS Parts Work Therapy

IFS Parts Work Therapy is an evidence-based effective form of trauma therapy.

If you're struggling with unresolved trauma, you could benefit from working with an IFS therapist so you can free yourself from the effects of your traumatic history.

About Me

I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT (for couples), Parts Work (IFS and Ego States Therapy), Somatic Experiencing and Certified Sex Therapist.

As a trauma therapist, I have helped many individual adults and couples to overcome trauma.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychtherapist.

To set up a consultation, call at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Also See My Other IFS Articles:

How Does Parts Work Therapy, Like IFS and Ego States Therapy, Help You to Understand Yourself

Understanding the Different Parts of Yourself

Parts Work Therapy Can Be Empowering

How Can IFS Parts Work Therapy Help With Anxiety?

Is an Unconscious Part of Yourself Running Your Life?

How IFS Parts Work Therapy Can Help With Anxiety

Anyone who has ever had to deal with a high level of anxiety knows how unpleasant anxiety can be (see my article: Getting Help in Therapy For Anxiety).

IFS Parts Work Therapy Can Help With Anxiety

For a basic understanding of IFS (Internal Family Systems) Therapy, see the articles at the end of this blog post.

How Does IFS Help With Anxiety?

Rather than seeing anxiety as a flaw, from an IFS perspective, IFS teaches you to see anxiety as a part of yourself.

IFS therapists help clients with anxiety by teaching them to connect with their Core Self. 

According to IFS, the Core Self is innate in every person and consists of the 8 Cs:

• Calm
• Compassion (including self compassion)
• Curiosity
• Clarity
• Courage
• Confidence
• Creativity
• Connection

When you learn to connect with your Core Self, you can work with the various parts of yourself, including the anxious part, to understand the parts' intentions and help them to let go of the extreme roles they are in to reduce anxiety.

The intention of IFS isn't to do battle with your anxiety. Instead, the goal is to work with the anxious part so that you are emotionally balanced and mentally integrated.

This involves:

• Understanding the Parts: The main idea in IFS is that the mind is made up of a multiplicity of parts. Within your system of parts, you have parts that are "managers", "exiles" and "firefighters." An example of a manager might be a part who is a perfectionist who wants to do everything "perfectly" to prevent a future failure. An example of a firefighter part might be a part that uses alcohol to distract you and numb you from your emotions. An example of an "exile" is a young wounded part that carries shame from early trauma.

IFS Parts Work Therapy Can Help With Anxiety

• Identifying Triggers: An IFS therapist helps you to identify the triggers that activate the anxious part. An example of a trigger that activates anxiety might be a work deadline.

• Accessing Your Core Self: Core Self, as described above, is the "leader" of your parts. Your IFS therapist teaches you how to access your Core Self so that you can shift your perspective from seeing through your anxious part to gaining a balanced, centered and grounded perspective through Core Self.

• Communicating With Your Anxious Part: As you continue to develop skills in IFS, you also learn how to understand and dialog with your anxious part and any other part from the perspective of Core Self.  Your Core Self is the essence of who you are and, as such, Core Self is nonjudgmental and empathetic. Instead of battling your anxiety, you ask the anxious part of you what it's afraid of, how it's trying to protect you and what it needs.

• Releasing Burdens: By getting to the root of your anxiety, you help your anxious part to release the "burdens" it has been carrying. These are usually painful emotions or beliefs from past trauma. 

• Rebalancing the System: Once you are coming from the perspective of Core Self, Core Self can guide your parts to work together in a harmonious way. This reduces anxiety and helps the anxious part to develop a healthier role. Instead of being stuck in an extreme role, all your parts can work together to achieve your goals instead of remaining stuck in extreme protective roles.

Preparation in Therapy to Do IFS Parts Work to Overcome Anxiety

Just like any other therapy, when you do IFS to overcome anxiety, your IFS therapist can help you to develop a rapport with her. 

This is essential in any therapy, but it's especially important when doing the deep work involved in IFS because you need to trust your therapist. This isn't necessarily easy for people who have experienced trauma, especially if it involved family-related trauma (see my article: Can You Trust Your Therapist If You Couldn't Trust Your Family?).

IFS Parts Work Therapy Can Help With Anxiety

Your therapist will also provide you with psychoeducation to understand IFS so that you know what is involved before you work with her in IFS therapy.

If your anxiety is getting in the way of day-to-day functioning, your IFS therapist will assess what level of care you might need and if you need adjunctive mental health treatment or another level of treatment.

Assuming that IFS outpatient psychotherapy is right for you, your therapist will also ensure you have the necessary coping skills and internal resources before beginning IFS.

Doing Your Own Work Between Therapy Sessions

Your IFS therapist will probably suggest that you do your own work between therapy sessions to cope with anxiety.

This could include:

Journaling

Meditation

Using Grounding Techniques

Getting Help in IFS Therapy

IFS is an evidence-based therapy developed by Dr. Richard C. Schwartz.

Getting Help in IFS Therapy

IFS is used throughout the United States and in many parts of the world.

Rather than struggling on your own, seek help from an IFS therapist so you can lead a meaningful life free from the effects of your history of trauma.

About Me

I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, Parts Work (IFS and Ego States Therapy), EFT (for couples), Somatic Experiencing and Certified Sex Therapist.

I have helped many individual adults and couples to overcome trauma.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

My Other Articles About IFS:

How Does Parts Work Therapy, Like IFS and Ego States Therapy, Help You to Understand Yourself

Understanding the Different Parts of Yourself

Parts Work Therapy Can Be Empowering

Is an Unconscious Part of Yourself Running Your Life?

Healing in Trauma Therapy: It's Never Too Late to Give Yourself a Good Childhood

Many people weren't lucky enough to have a good childhood because of childhood trauma. 

If you are like millions of other people who experienced childhood trauma, you might be relieved to know that you can overcome your traumatic childhood experiences through trauma therapy.

Healing in Trauma Therapy

As an Adult, How Can You Give Yourself a Good Childhood?

Since it's obvious that none of us can actually go back in time to change circumstances related to childhood trauma, you might wonder how you can heal so that you can give yourself a good childhood.

The answer is Experiential Trauma Therapy including:

• EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) Therapy 

• Somatic Experiencing Therapy

Healing in Trauma Therapy

• Parts Work Therapy 

• AEDP (Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy

and other trauma therapies can help you to work through psychological trauma with tools and strategies, like Imaginal Interweaves, to heal the traumatized younger parts of yourself (see my article: Imaginal Interweaves).

All of the therapies mentioned above are Experiential Therapies which differ from traditional psychotherapy because these therapies involve the mind-body connection (see my article: Why is Experiential Therapy More Effective Than Traditional Talk Therapy?)

Healing in Trauma Therapy

This means that you gain more than just intellectual insight. Instead, you have a more integrated mind and embodied experience that produces better results than traditional talk therapy (see my article: Healing From the Inside Out: Why Insight Isn't Enough).

With regard to reimagining your childhood, Imaginal Interweaves, which were developed by Dr. Laurel Parnell for Attachment-Focused EMDR Therapy, allows you to use the mind-body connection to heal trauma by providing you with healing experiences.

Clinical Vignette

The following clinical vignette illustrates how Experiential Therapy, including Imaginal Interweaves, can heal childhood trauma:

Tom

After several painful breakups, Tom sought help with an Experiential Therapist to try to understand why he was having problems in relationships (see my article: How Trauma Can Affect Relationships).

He had been in traditional talk therapy before where he gained intellectual insight into how his trauma childhood had affected his ability to be in romantic relationships. He understood the connection between his childhood emotional neglect and abuse and his inability to connect with romantic partners. But even though he understood his problems, nothing changed. He continued to have the same relationship problems.

Whenever he began seeing someone new, he felt excited and open to the new relationship. However, as the relationship became more emotionally intimate, he had problems remaining emotionally available and open to his partner (see my article: What Does It Mean to Be Emotionally Available?).

Tom understood how the increasing emotional intimacy created anxiety for him and he knew it wasn't related to the particular woman he was in a relationship with--it was his own childhood experiences and his family history.

While he was in traditional talk therapy, whenever he felt himself shutting down with his partner, he tried to remember that his fear was coming from the past and not the present, but this didn't help him to remain emotionally open to his partner (see my article: Why is Past Trauma Affecting You Now?).

Healing in Trauma Therapy

Feeling frustrated, Tom sought help in EMDR Therapy, a type of Experiential Therapy, hoping he would have a different experience where he could do more than just understand his problem--he wanted to heal and to be emotionally vulnerable in his next relationship.

As part of EMDR therapy, his therapist used a combination of Imaginal Interweaves and Parts Work Therapy when he got stuck processing his childhood trauma (see my article: Using Imagery as a Powerful Tool in Trauma Therapy).

His trauma therapist told him that Imaginal Interweaves were one of many tools in Experiential Therapy and that these interweaves were in no way saying that he had a different experience in his childhood. Instead, these interweaves allowed him to have a new healing experience.

Tom imagined himself as an adult talking to his younger self who experienced his parents' emotional neglect and abuse. 

He reassured his younger self that he would protect him and he saw his adult self confront his parents about the abuse and take his younger self to a safe place where he comforted him.

His therapist reinforced and helped him to integrate his new positive experiences with EMDR Bilateral Stimulation using EMDR tappers.

Afterwards, Tom felt a sense of relief--as if his experience of himself began to shift.

In another session, Tom imagined he had ideal parents who were nothing like his actual parents. They were kind, loving and patient with him. 

Healing in Trauma Therapy

This work, which involved many sessions with Imaginal Interweaves, was neither quick nor easy. But over time Tom had a new sense of himself as a person who was more open and capable of emotional intimacy in his next relationship.

Instead of closing off emotionally, as he usually did, he was able to remain open and emotionally available with his new girlfriend as he healed from the source of his problems.

Conclusion

While you can't actually go back in time to change a traumatic childhood, you can heal and have a new experience of yourself using your imagination in Experiential Therapy.

The new experience in Experiential Therapy isn't just an intellectual process. It's an integrated mind-body oriented experience where you can experience yourself as free from the effects of your traumatic history.

Getting Help in Trauma Therapy

If you have unresolved trauma which has had a negative impact on your relationships and traditional therapy hasn't healed your trauma, you could benefit from seeing a licensed mental health professional who does Experiential Therapy (see my article: Healing Trauma Creatively).

Getting Help in Trauma Therapy

Rather than struggling on your own, seek help in Experiential Therapy to heal from unresolved trauma so you can live a more meaningful life.

About Me

I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT (for couples), Somatic Experiencing and Certified Sex Therapist.

As a trauma therapist, I have helped many individual adults and couples to heal from trauma.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.