What is Vicarious Trauma?

Vicarious trauma, also known as secondary trauma, involves indirect exposure to trauma through listening to first-hand accounts from people who experienced traumatic events directly.  

Vicarious Trauma is Also Known as Secondary Trauma

Exposure to accounts of trauma that lead to vicarious trauma can involve trauma that is a one-time event, like shock trauma. 

Examples of shock trauma include getting robbed, feeling helpless and overwhelmed during a natural disaster, a car accident and so on.

Exposure to accounts of trauma can also occur due to accounts of ongoing trauma like complex trauma, which involves trauma experienced over time. 

Examples of complex trauma include childhood trauma involving abuse or neglect that occurred over a period of time.

In this article, I'll use the terms vicarious trauma and secondary trauma interchangeably.

Who is at Risk For Vicarious Trauma?

People in the helping professions, including psychotherapists, social workers, counselors, doctors, nurses, lawyers and other related professions are at risk for vicarious trauma.

In addition, anyone who has a close relationship with someone who experienced trauma, including a spouse, family member or close friend, can experience vicarious trauma.

When people in the helping professions or significant others are repeatedly exposed to accounts of trauma, they run the risk of experiencing burnout or compassion fatigue (see my article: Helping the Helpers to Overcome Compassion Fatigue).  

Many therapists and helping professionals experienced secondary trauma after the 9/11 World Trade Center attack in 2001.  Professionals, who worked with individuals and groups for many months helping them through their shock and grief, experienced secondary trauma. Many of them sought their own therapy and professional support groups to process their symptoms because they were going through the crisis at the same time as their clients.

Similarly, during the worst stage of COVID, therapists and other helping professionals experienced secondary trauma helping clients to process their fear, anxiety and dread at the same time that these mental health professionals were trying to cope with their own emotions.  To help these professionals, many professional organizations offered emotional support.

What Are the Symptoms of Vicarious Trauma?

Everyone's experience of vicarious trauma is different.  

Vicarious trauma can be especially difficult for people who have their own history of psychological trauma because it can trigger memories of personal traumatic experiences.

Some common symptoms of vicarious trauma include (but are not limited to):

• Grief,
• Anxiety
• Anger
• Irritability 
• A sense of unease/feeling unsafe
• Distraction
• Changes in mood
• Changes in sleep patterns
• Changes in appetitie
• Negativity
• Cynicism
• Despair
• Depression
• Loss of hope
• Increase in alcohol use or other substances
• Social isolation/avoidance of people
• Avoidance of tasks
• Difficulty separating work life from personal life (including an inability to stop thinking about clients' or other people's trauma)
• Physical symptoms such as headaches, rashes, heartburn and other physical issues

How Can Self Care Help to Reduce the Risk of Vicarious Trauma?

Self care practices to reduce the risk of vicarious trauma include:

• Eating nutritious meals

• Getting enough sleep

• Exercising, walking or taking yoga classes at an appropriate level

• Meditating

• Journaling

• Taking time off

• Spending time in nature

• Listening to music

• Spending quiet time to relax

• Spending time with loved ones who are emotionally supportive

• Developing internal resources and coping skills

• Spending time enjoying hobbies

• Other forms of relaxation 

How Can Professional Training and Supervision Help Reduce the Risk of Vicarious Trauma For Helping Professionals?

Therapists and other helping professionals who deal with psychological trauma need to develop the necessary clinical skills to treat traumatized individuals. If they don't have this training and supervision, they are working outside the scope of their expertise.

They also need to develop their own personal coping skills to reduce the risk of vicarious trauma.

Therapists who treat trauma also need individual supervision, especially if they're new to trauma treatment or they have a challenging case.

Group supervision is also helpful to provide clinical feedback as well as to get collegial support.

What Are the Benefits of Trauma Therapy For People Experiencing Vicarious Trauma?

Trauma therapy is crucial for anyone who experiencing vicarious trauma (see my article: What is a Trauma Therapist?).

The Benefits of Trauma Therapy

Trauma therapy includes experiential therapies that were specifically developed to help people to overcome trauma (see my article: Why Experiential Therapy is More Effective Than Regular Talk Therapy to Overcome Trauma).

Experiential trauma therapy includes the following modalities:

• EMDR Therapy (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing)

• Somatic Experiencing Therapy
  

• AEDP (Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy)

• Ego States Therapy/Parts Work
  

• Hypnotherapy (also known as Clinical Hypnosis)
  

Getting Help in Trauma Therapy

Rather than struggling on your own with secondary trauma, you could benefit from seeking help from a skilled trauma therapist.

Trauma therapy can help you to overcome secondary trauma so you can lead a more fulfilling life.

About Me

I am a licensed New York City psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT, Somatic Experiencing and Sex Therapist.

I work with individual adults and couples.

As a trauma therapist, I have helped many clients to overcome trauma.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Kinky Sex: What is Consensual Somnophilia?

Consensual somnophilia is a sexual interest in sex during sleep involving mutual consent (see my article: What is Enthusiastic Consent?).

Kinky Sex and Consensual Somnophilia

Consensual somnophilia can be a sexual fantasy that is sexually arousing and never gets enacted. Or, it can be actually engaging in consensual sex during sleep as either the person who initiates sex or the person who gets sexual attention while they're asleep.

What is the Connection Between Consensual Somnophilia and BDSM?

According to an October 12, 2021 Psychology Today article by Dr. Justin Lehmiller, a sex researcher and social psychologist, somnophilia can be related to BDSM.  

BDSM stands for Bondage and Discipline, Domination and Submission, Sadism and Masochism (see my article: Are You Curious to Explore BDSM?).

When consensual somnophilia is linked to BDSM, it's related to kinky sex between sexual partners who want to engage in a consensual dominance-submission sexual dynamic (see my articles: What is Kinky Sex? and BDSM and Kink: What Are the Different Sub-Dom Roles?).

Since it's a consensual kink between sexual partners, unlike nonconsensual somnophilia, it does not involve abuse or harm. Also, it's important to note that nonconsensual somnophilia is not only abusive and harmful--it's illegal.

How is Consensual Somnophilia Different From Sleepy Sex?

An example of sleepy sex occurs when partners are relaxed and cuddling in bed on a Sunday morning and the cuddling turns sexual.  

This might involve any type of consensual sexual activity--sexual intercourse/penetrative sex, oral sex or any other sexual activity.

It's important to note: If your partner falls asleep during sleepy sex and you don't have consent to continue having sex, you must stop because now you're in nonconsensual territory which, as previously mentioned, is abusive, harmful and illegal.

Kinky Sex and Consensual Somnophilia

Consensual somnophilia does not involve sleepiness--it's actual sleep.  This is why consent by both people involved is so important because each person is consenting beforehand to have sex while they're asleep.

Usually consensual somnophilia involves sexual partners who already know each other well and trust one another. That means there's already an understanding of each person's sexual boundaries.

This type of consent is more of a blanket consent.  

For example, the receiving/submissive partner might say, "I really love when you initiate sex when I'm asleep. It makes me feel so sexually desirable. I trust you and give you permission to do it without having to ask me each time." 

Even with a blanket consent, there might be exceptions that the partners negotiate together. 

For instance, the partners might agree that if they had an argument before going to sleep or one or both of them is sick, these situations would be exceptions to the blanket consent.

Many people assume that consensual somnophilia in heterosexual relationships always involves a man in the dominant role who is initiating sex with a female partner who is in the submissive role. 

But this isn't always the case: Sometimes it involves a woman in the dominant role who can initiate sex with a sleeping male partner.  Or the partners can switch roles at various times.

The roles can also vary in LGBTQ relationships depending upon the preferences of the partners involved--just like it would with any kind or sex--kinky or conventional sex.

How to Talk to Your Partner About Consensual Somnophilia

If you have an interest in this kink, you can't just assume your partner will like it too.  

This is why it's so important to talk to your partner about it so you know if there is enthusiastic consent (see my articles: How to Talk to Your Partner About Sex - Part 1 and Part 2).

Talking to Your Partner About Sex

If you're the one who wants to try this kink, before you talk to your partner, think about what turns you on about it.  

For some people, who enjoy being in the dominant role, it's the idea of taking control during sex. For others, who like being in the submissive/receiving role, it's the feeling of being sexually desired by their partner.

If you and your partner are both into this kink, that's great and you can explore it.

But if your partner doesn't understand why you're interested in it, it's important for you to help them understand why it turns you on.

Talking to Your Partner About Sex

Sometimes after a reluctant partner understands why it's such a turn-on for you, they get turned on and become enthusiastic about it (or at least willing to try it).  

This can be especially true if it's an expansion of your sexual script (see my article: Understanding Your Sexual Script).

But if your partner isn't interested in consensual somnophilia, don't try to pressure them into doing it (see my article: How is Pressuring Your Partner Different From Consensual Sex?).

Instead of pressuring your partner, you need to graciously accept that this kink won't be part of what you do, but maybe your partner would be willing to talk about it as a sexual fantasy without actually engaging in this kink.  If not, find other pleasurably sexual activities that you can both enjoy.

Under all of these circumstances, communication is key to having a fulfilling sex life.

Getting Help in Sex Therapy

Sex therapy is a form of talk therapy for individual adults or couples (see my article: What is Sex Therapy?).

Individuals and couples seek help in sex therapy for a variety of reasons (see my article: What Kind of Issues Are Discussed in Sex Therapy?).

There is no nudity, physical exams or sex during sex therapy sessions (see my article: What Are Common Misconceptions About Sex Therapy?).

Rather than struggling on your own, seek help from a skilled sex therapist.

About Me

I am a licensed New York City psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT, Somatic Experiencing and Sex Therapist.

I am a sex positive therapist who works with individual adults and people in relationships.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

What is Consensual Exhibitionism?

In my last article, What is Consensual Voyeurism?, I defined this term and discussed the difference between consensual voyeurism and nonconsensual voyeurism.  

In the current article, I'm focusing on the other side of this dynamic, which is consensual exhibitionism.

Consensual Exhibitionism

What is Consensual Exhibitionism?

Consensual exhibitionism is defined as when a person displays themselves in a sexual manner to a consenting viewer or viewers.

Consensual Exhibitionism

As part of consensual exhibitionism, both the person who is being viewed and the one who is viewing get sexual pleasure.  The one who is viewing might see him or herself as a consensual voyeur (or not).

Someone who engages in consensual exhibitionism doesn't necessarily need an audience. For instance, some people enjoy looking at themselves in a sexual manner in a mirror or in a video. 

Another example of both consensual exhibitionism and consensual voyeurism occurs on social media, like Instagram, where social media posters include pictures and videos of themselves posing sexually.

Similarly, OnlyFans provides a place for sex workers and others to create content for consensual exhibitionism that would have them banned on other sites.

For many people consensual exhibitionism is a fetish they enjoy practicing with a partner (or partners) privately or at sex parties, sex clubs or other places where everyone gives consent.

Consensual Exhibitionism at a Sex Party

People often "switch" from being a consensual exhibitionist to a consensual voyeur because they're turned on by both.  Others prefer one or the other.

Nonconsensual exhibitionism is very different.  This involves nonconsensual behavior, like exposing genitals to unsuspecting strangers. This is an exhibitionistic disorder and it's mostly practiced by a small percentage of men. It's also illegal.

How to Practice Consensual Exhibitionism in an Ethical and Responsible Way

If you and your partner want to practice consensual exhibitionism, you can do it in an ethical and responsible way with everyone involved consenting beforehand as to what will take place:

• Allowing Your Partner to Watch You Masturbate: For people new to consensual exhibitionism, this can be a good way to start if both people feel comfortable with it.  As I mentioned in my previous article, many couples include watching each other masturbate as part of their sex script.

• Role-Playing: See my prior article for how to include consensual exhibitionism as part of a sexual role play with your partner.

Consensual Exhibitionism as Part of Sexual Role Play

• Cuckolding, Threesomes and Group Sex: See my prior article as well as my article Are You Curious About Exploring Cuckolding With Your Partner?

• Attending Play Parties and Sex Clubs: See my prior article

If You're New to Consensual Exhibitionism, Start Slowly

Just like trying out anything new sexually, make sure your partner is really into consensual exhibitionism and not just going along with your desire (see my article: What Are the Basic Rules of Sexual Consent).

Also, be aware that things don't always go well the first time when you're trying anything for the first time. It might go perfectly in your sexual fantasies, but when you're with a partner, there are other factors to consider, including initial awkwardness and other mishaps.

Before beginning anything new sexually, make sure you and your partner have discussed what you're both willing and unwilling to do and what the boundaries are.  Also, be prepared to stop if either of you feels uncomfortable.

Make sure there's time afterward--whether immediately afterward or at some other designated time--to talk about your individual experiences and whether it's something you want to do in the future.

In addition, prioritize sexual aftercare in whatever way is meaningful to you and your partner--including hugging, cuddling and whatever you both find soothing after sex.

Getting Help in Sex Therapy

Sex therapy is a form of talk therapy where you focus on sexual issues (see my article: What is Sex Therapy?).

There is no physical exam, nudity or sex during a sex therapy session (see my article: What Are Common Misconceptions About Sex Therapy?).

Many individual adults and couples with sexual problems find sex therapy to be helpful for a variety of issues (see my article: What Are Common Issues Discussed in Sex Therapy?).

To have a more fulfilling sex life, seek help from a licensed mental health professional who is a sex therapist.

About Me

I am a licensed New York City psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT, Somatic Experiencing and Sex Therapist.

I am a sex positive therapist who works with individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

What is a Consensual Voyeurism?

In prior articles I've discussed different types of sexual behavior between consenting adults such as threesomes, group sex and cuckolding, which all involve consensual voyeurism (see my articles: How to Have a Fun and Passionate Threesome and Kinky Sex: What is Cuckolding?).

Consensual Voyeurism

What is Consensual Voyeurism?

Let's start by comparing consensual voyeurism to nonconsensual voyeurism to understand the difference.

Nonconsensual voyeurism usually involves one or more people watching unsuspecting adults engaged in sexual behavior.  It could also involve watching an unsuspecting person in a state of undress (e.g., a person who is trying on clothes in a dressing room).

Aside from watching, nonconsensual voyeurism could involve a "Peeping Tom" photographing or videotaping an individual or a couple in their home or in another place where privacy is assumed. In other words, it's without the individual or couple's consent.  This form of voyeurism is illegal in most places.

Consensual or Nonconsensual Voyeurism?

Consensual voyeurism, which is a fetish, is very different from nonconsensual voyeurism because all people involved have consented with consensual voyeurism (see my articles: Are You Curious About Exploring Fetishes With Your Partner? and What Are the Rules of Sexual Consent?).

As part of the fetish, some people prefer to be the ones who are watched while they are undressed or engaged in sexual behavior, other people prefer to watch others, and some people like to "switch" between watching and being watched.

How to Practice Consensual Voyeurism in an Ethical and Responsible Way

If you and your partner want to engage in consensual voyeurism, you can do it in a responsible and ethical way so that everyone involved is consenting beforehand to what will take place:

• Watching Your Partner Masturbate:  This can be a good way to start if you're new to consensual voyeurism. Assuming your partner shares your interest in this voyeuristic fetish, talk to them beforehand about what feels comfortable and what the boundaries will be.  Many couples incorporate watching each other masturbate as part of their sex script and might not even think of it as voyeuristic.  You can either be with your partner or you can "hide" somewhere, like in a closet or behind a door where you watch through the peephole to add sexual excitement.  In addition, you can spice things up with "dirty talk" and encourage your partner to do certain things that would turn both of you on.

• Role-Playing: This is another sexual activity where it's only you and your partner watching each other. If you both agree to certain sexual fantasies in advance, you can each become sexual characters in whatever type of scenario you would both enjoy.  You're only limited by your imagination. Maybe you pretend to be a stranger who is watching a sexual scene with your partner and someone else and then you enter into the scene (see my article: What Are the Benefits of Sexual Role Play?).

Sexual Role-Play

• Cuckolding, Threesomes and Group Sex: If you and your partner have agreed in advance to include other people in your sexual scenarios, you can include people who have consented to be part of a specific sex scene.  Be aware that your sexual fantasies about cuckolding, threesomes and group sex might be better than what you experience in reality. This is due, in part, to the fact that at least one person can feel left out if they feel they're not getting enough sexual attention. In a sexual fantasy, an individual often imagines they're the focus of attention, but an actual scene might not turn out this way (see my article: Are You Curious About Exploring Cuckolding With Your Partner?).

Play Party or Sex Club

• Attending Play Parties or Sex Clubs: When you attend a sexual play party or a sex club, there is an expectation that there will be sexual scenes that are open to the viewing of others at the party who are not directly involved in the scene. If the play party is organized well, the organizer will usually tell the attendees what to expect so that if they're not interested in a particular fetish or kink, they can avoid observing that scene.  For instance, if a scene will involve BDSM (bondage, discipline or domination, sadism or submission, and masochism) and an attendee would have a problem observing this, they would know this in advance from the organizer. 

Don't Expect Everything to Go Perfectly the First Time

If you and your partner are new to consensual voyeurism, you might want to start with watching each other without a third party (as mentioned above). Even then, don't expect everything to necessarily go as planned (see my article: How to Talk to Your Partner About Sex?).

Before you start, you might think you both have covered everything in terms of boundaries and what you do and don't want to do. But there can be unforeseen circumstances.  For instance, you might think you would enjoy having your partner watch you masturbate, but once you start, you might feel unexpectedly uncomfortable so that you want to stop (see my article: Tips on How to Talk to Your Partner About Your Sexual Desires).

Always make an agreement beforehand that if one or both of you get uncomfortable, you can stop, take a break or do whatever you need to do to make each other comfortable.  

You and your partner can talk about it afterwards to improve your experience for next time--if there is to be a next time.

And don't forget to engage in sexual aftercare where you and your partner hug and hold each other and engage in other soothing care you give to each other.

Conclusion

Consensual voyeurism is very different from nonconsensual voyeurism, as described earlier in this article.

If you and your partner enjoy this type of fetish, consensual voyeurism can be fun and exciting.

Part of the sexual fun and excitement is the feeling that you're violating sexual prohibitions or engaging in something "naughty"--even though both you and your partner have consented to your voyeuristic activity beforehand (see my article: A Cornerstone of Eroticism: Violating Prohibitions By Breaking the Rules).

Consensual voyeurism can also expand your sexual repertoire in a positive way as long as it's done ethically and responsibly by everyone involved.

Also see my article: What is Consensual Exhibitionism?.

Getting Help in Sex Therapy

Sex therapy is a form of talk therapy (see my article: What is Sex Therapy?).

There is no nudity, physical exams or sex during a sex therapy session (see my article: What Are Common Misconceptions About Sex Therapy?).

Individuals and couples attend sex therapy for a variety of reasons (see my article: What Are Common Issues Discussed in Sex Therapy?).

Rather than struggling on your own, seek help from a skilled sex therapist so you can have a more fulfilling sex life.

About Me

I am a licensed New York City psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT, Somatic Experiencing and Sex Therapist.

I am a sex positive therapist work with individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

What Are the 4C's of Safe and Enjoyable Sex?

Enjoyable sex is also safe sex (see my article: What is Good Sex?).

Usually, when people think about safe sex, they only think about protecting themselves and their partners from pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections/diseases (STIs/STDs). But safe and enjoyable sex is about much more than just protection as I explain below (see my article: Sexual Wellness: Savoring Pleasure).

The 4C's of Safe and Enjoyable Sex

What Are the 4C's of Safe and Enjoyable Sex?

• Communication: Of the 4c's, communication is one of the most important if not the most important. It doesn't matter if your sexual encounter involves a one-night stand, Friends With Benefits (FWB) or a long term partner (see my articles: Creating Your Yes, No, Maybe Sexual Menu):

• Before: Talk to your partner about consent, condoms, contraception and safe sex.  Also, set boundaries and talk about what you each expect with regard to what you both want to do and what is off limits for each of you (see my article: How to Talk to Your Partner About Sex).

The 4C's of Safe and Enjoyable Sex

• During: Check in with your partner to make sure sex they feel comfortable and sex is enjoyable for them. Be prepared to stop if one of you isn't comfortable anymore.

• After: Talk to your partner about the experience--what worked, what didn't work and what could be changed next time.

• Consent: Consent means that both you and your partner are enthusiastic about the sex you're able to have. Even though you are both consenting, be aware that either of you can withdraw consent at any time if one of you feels uncomfortable (see my article: What Are the Rules of Consent?).

The 4C's of Safe and Enjoyable Sex

• Condoms: The only way to be at least 97-98% safe is using condoms.  You can include putting on the condom as part of foreplay.  This also means knowing how to use a condom properly by:

• Opening up the wrapper carefully
• Placing the condom on the head of an erect penis
• Pinching the air out of the tip of the condom
• Unrolling the condom all the way down the penis 
• Holding the condom at the base after sex and before pulling the penis out of your partner
• Removing the condom carefully and throwing it away in the trash

• Contraception: Aside from condoms, many people use an additional form of contraception, like the pill, an IUD or an injection. You and your partner should consult with your medical doctor to determine what type of contraception is best for each of you.

Getting Help in Sex Therapy

Most psychotherapists aren't trained in sex therapy. This is why you need to see a sex therapist if you're having sexual problems.

Getting Help in Sex Therapy

Sex therapy is a form of talk therapy (see my article:  What is Sex Therapy?).

Individual adults and couples attend sex therapy for a variety of reasons (see my article: What Are Common Issues Discussed in Sex Therapy?).

There is no nudity, physical exams or sex during a sex therapy session (see my article: What Are Common Misconceptions About Sex Therapy?).

Rather than struggling on your own, get help from a skilled sex therapist so you can have a more fulfilling sex life.

About Me

I am a licensed New York City psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT, Somatic Experiencing and Sex Therapist.

I work with individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Riding the Waves From Trauma to Transformation in Experiential Therapy

Making a decision to get help for unresolved trauma in trauma therapy isn't easy. So, most people who begin trauma therapy hope they can eventually free themselves of their traumatic history to live a more fulfilling life (see my article: Are You Reacting to Your Present Circumstances Based on Your Traumatic Past?).

From Trauma to Transformation in Experiential Therapy

I see many clients in my New York City private practice who have tried in vain to overcome trauma in regular talk therapy. Many of them have spent years in talk therapy trying to resolve their trauma. 

In many cases, they came away with new insights into their problems, but they don't feel any different (see my article: Developing Insight in Therapy Isn't Enough to Change).

In other words, they might understand why they get triggered in certain situations, but their insight doesn't prevent them from getting triggered again.

Experiential Therapy to Overcome Trauma

There are specific therapy modalities, known as Experiential Therapy, that were developed to help clients overcome trauma. 

Experiential Therapy is different from regular talk therapy, which I'll explain in the section below on Memory Reconsolidation.  

Experiential Therapy includes:

• EMDR Therapy (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing)

• Somatic Experiencing
  

• AEDP (Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy)

• Ego States Therapy (also known as Parts Work or Internal Family Systems)

• Hypnotherapy
  

• Coherence Therapy
  

And other types of Experiential therapy

Memory Reconsolidation in Experiential Trauma Therapy

As Bruce Ecker, LMFT, explains in his book, Unlocking the Emotional Brain, all Experiential Therapy provides an opportunity for memory reconsolidation, which is essential for resolving trauma. 

From Trauma to Transformation in Experiential Therapy

Memory reconsolidation is a neurobiological process whereby traumatic memories are recalled and made accessible to be reprocessed in Experiential Therapy (see my article: The Unconscious Mind and Experiential Therapy: The "Symptom" Contains the Solution for a more indepth explanation of the memory reconsolidation process).

Memory reconsolidation is one of the reasons why Experiential Therapy is more effective than regular talk therapy (see my article: Why Experiential Therapy is More Effective Than Regular Talk Therapy to Overcome Trauma).

Riding the Waves From Trauma to Transformation in Experiential Therapy

Many people who suffer with unresolved trauma try to avoid dealing with their trauma symptoms (see my article: How is Emotional Avoidance Related to Unresolved Trauma?).

While it's understandable that no one wants to experience emotional pain, unfortunately, when you resist these symptoms, they tend to come back even stronger.

When I work with clients who have unresolved trauma, I prepare them before processing the trauma by helping them to develop the internal resources to ride the waves when traumatic symptoms come up (see my article: Developing Internal Resources and Coping Skills).

While it's not pleasant to deal with these symptoms, as previously mentioned, resisting them only makes them worse.  In fact, many clients discover that once they have developed internal resources for coping with these symptoms, they're able to cope with the symptoms and it's not as bad as they anticipated.  

Many of them also realize that it took so much more energy to resist dealing with these symptoms than just learning to ride the waves of these symptoms when they come up until the trauma is resolved.

Working on Shock Trauma vs Developmental (Childhood) Trauma With Experiential Therapy

There is a difference between shock trauma and developmental trauma (see my article: What is the Difference Between Shock Trauma and Developmental Trauma?).

One-time traumatic events, like getting robbed or going through a natural disaster are called shock trauma. These are single events, and when there's no other underlying traumatic experiences, shock trauma tends to be easier to resolve in relatively fewer sessions.

Developmental trauma, which is also known as childhood trauma, is more complex.  This type of trauma usually occurs many times over time.  This includes childhood abuse and childhood emotional neglect.

Due to the complex nature of developmental trauma, processing this type of trauma tends to take longer (see my article: What is Complex Trauma?).

How much longer? Unfortunately, there's no way to know in advance.  Everyone processes trauma differently.  It might take months or it might take years depending upon the particular client, their traumatic history and how their particular response to processing trauma.  However, it's usually more effective and faster than regular talk therapy.

Working on Transgenerational Trauma

There is also transgenerational trauma (also known as intergenerational trauma) which is trauma that is passed down from one generation to the next.  

This type is trauma is experienced directly by your parents, grandparents or even great grandparents and it's unconsciously and unintentionally transmitted to you (see my article: Transgenerational Trauma).

Common examples of transgenerational trauma is when a parent or grandparent is a Holocaust survivor or experienced war trauma. Even if the trauma might never be discussed, it can still be transmitted to you and future generations (see my article: Your Unresolved Trauma Can Affect Your Children).

Taking the First Step to Overcome Trauma

The first step, which is making a decision to get help in trauma therapy, is often the hardest.

From Trauma to Transformation in Experiential Therapy

Many people are afraid trauma therapy will be too unpleasant. However, a skilled trauma therapist will work with a client to prepare them for the trauma processing and process the trauma in a way that is usually tolerable (see my article: Expanding Your Window of Tolerance in Experiential Therapy).

Getting Help in Trauma Therapy

If you feel stuck due to unresolved trauma, seek help from a skilled trauma therapist.

Rather than continuing to struggle on your own, you can get the help you need to lead a more fulfilling life.

About Me

I am a licensed New York City psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT, Somatic Experiencing and Sex Therapist.

One of my specialities, as a trauma therapist, is helping clients to overcome trauma (see my article: What is a Trauma Therapist?)

I work with individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.