Overcoming Trauma: You Are Not Defined By What Happened to You

Carl Jung, the Swiss psychiatrist and psychoanalyst, coined the phrase, "I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become."

What Does It Mean That You Are Not What Happened to You?

Carl Jung's phrase means that while past experiences have shaped you, your true self isn't defined by them (see my article: You Are Not Defined By Your Diagnosis).

You Are Not Your Trauma

Instead, your true self is defined by the choices you make, your responses, and your ongoing process of self creation. The emphasis is your personal agency in choosing who you are, what you want to be and how you respond.

This way of looking at your history, including unresolved trauma, highlights that, with help and the right tools, you have the ability to transcend your history to overcome trauma and proactively build a future identity.

Jung was positing that none of us are a finished product based on our history. On the contrary, we have an innate ability to heal and grow beyond our history and circumstances (see my article: Healing From Unresolved Trauma: The Mind Has a Powerful Innate Ability to Heal Itself).

What Are the Keys to Transcending Your History?

• Personal Agency: You have the power to decide who you are regardless of your history, although you might need help in therapy to do it.

You Are Not Your Trauma

• Transformation: Difficult events aren't final destinations. With help, they can be opportunities to grow (see my article: Riding the Waves of Transformation).

• Identity as Evolving: You identity is a evolving process--not a static state.

Healing From Psychological Trauma

Choosing to get help in trauma therapy is a courageous act--not a sign of weakness (see my article: How Trauma Therapy Can Help You to Overcome Unresolved Trauma).

Your mind has an innate ability to heal due to the mind's neuroplasticity.

You Are Not Your Trauma

Neuroplasticity is the mind's ability to reorganize its structure and function by developing new neural connections which allows you to adapt and recover.

Neuroplasticity underpins your ability to grow as an individual, overcome challenges and maintain cognitive health by strengthening beneficial pathways and pruning weaker ones.

What is Trauma Therapy?

Trauma therapy is an umbrella term for psychotherapy modalities which were developed specifically to help clients overcome trauma including:

• EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) Therapy

• Parts Work (IFS and Ego States Therapy)

You Are Not Your Trauma

• Somatic Experiencing
  

• AEDP (Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy)

Get Help in Trauma Therapy

If you have been struggling on your own with unresolved trauma, you could benefit from working with a licensed mental health professional who is trained as trauma therapist.

Get Help in Trauma Therapy

Seek help from a licensed trauma therapist so you can free yourself from your traumatic history and live a more fulfilling life.

About Me

I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT (for couples), Parts Work (IFS and Ego States Therapy), Somatic Experiencing and Certified Sex Therapist.

As a trauma therapist, I have helped many individual adults and couples to heal from trauma.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

How Visualization Can Transform Your Life

In my psychotherapy private practice in New York City I help clients to use their imagination and visualizations to achieve transformation in their life (see my article: Using Your Imagination).

Visualization and Transformation

What is Visualization?

Visualization is the process of creating vivid mental images or representations. 

Visualization can be used to understand complex information. It can also be used to mentally rehearse desired outcomes for personal growth, therapy or performance (see my article: Using the Mind-Body Connection to Create a Vision of What You Want).

Visualization uses the imagination to form pictures in your mind. This often involves using all your senses to simulate experiences and goals. This can improve focus, motivation and the development of new skills.

How is Visualization Used in Psychotherapy and Personal Development?

Here are some examples of how visualization can be used in psychotherapy and personal development:

• Mental Rehearsal: Imagining yourself performing a task. This builds neural pathways which makes it easier to do in real life.

• Goal Setting: Creating a clear mental picture of a desired future outcome to direct your unconscious mind and increase your motivation (see my article: Making the Unconscious Conscious).

• Sensory Engagement: Using sight, sound, touch and smell to enhance the power of your imagery and make it more realistic.

What Are the Key Aspects of Visualization?

• Mental Imagery: Visualization involves seeing in your mind's eye without actual visual input.

Visualization and Transformation

• Brain Activation: Visualization activates similar brain areas as actual seeing and doing, which makes it a powerful training tool.

• Technique: Visualization can involve the process (the steps it takes to achieve your goal) or the outcome you desire (the end result).

How I Learned to Use Visualization

When I first tried using visualization as part of a women's personal development group more than 25 years go, I had a hard time accessing visual images.  The other women around me were getting vivid imagery when they closed their eyes to visualize and I was getting nothing.

Then I discovered the book, Creative Visualization, by Shakti Gawain, and I began to practice regularly on my own in addition to group practice. And, with a lot of practice, I began to visualize simple things and, over time, my visualizations became more complex and vivid.

At the time, I had an administrative job near the East River in Manhattan and I would walk over to the river on my lunch hour and practice projecting images with my eyes open onto the flowing river.  This took time to develop, but it was fun and very satisfying to be able to imagine and see these images in the water.

Sometimes when my women's group got together, we would practice visualizations together as a way to develop intuition. Each women would take turns imaging an image and, over time, many of us could sense what the visualizer was imagining.  This made us realize that intuition, like visualization, can be developed with practice.

What Are Some Helpful Visualization Tools?

When I was learning to visualize, I didn't have access to the wonderful tools that exist now to help with visualizations.

Here are some tools you might find helpful:

• Vision Boards (also called Visualization Boards): Vision boards are visual representations of your goals, intentions and desires. Vision boards are usually poster size boards. They are often made up of collage images that serve to motivate and inspire you towards your goals and desires. You can make your vision board as simple or elaborate as you want.

Visualization and Transformation

• Visualization Music: Visualization music is designed to facilitate visualization and meditative processes.  The purpose of this music is to help you focus on your visualizations. You can find visualization music online.

• Guided Imagery: You can practice your visualizations using guided imagery recordings or books.  A book I found helpful many years ago, which is still in print, is Mother Wit by Diane Mariechild.

• Visualizations of Your Future Self: The concept of a future self is used in hypnotherapy, EMDR Therapy, Somatic Experiencing, Parts Work Therapy (IFS and Ego States Therapy), AEDP and in other types of Experiential therapies. Your future self is how you want to be in the future as someone who has accomplished your goals, intentions and desires (see my article: Experiencing Your Future Self: The Self You Want to Become).

Conclusion

There are many ways to use visualizations to achieve your desires.

Visualization and Transformation

As I mentioned earlier, initially, I had a problem seeing anything at all when I closed my eyes more than 25 years ago, but with practice and persistence, I learned to create vivid images.

Using visualizations for transformation can be a fun and powerful way to transform your life.

About Me

I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT (for couples), Parts Work (IFS and Ego States Therapy), Somatic Experiencing and Certified Sex Therapist.

I work with individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

How Does Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy (AEDP) Work?

In the past, I have described Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy (AEDP) in two prior articles:

What is Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy and How Does It Heal - Part 1

What is Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy and How Does It Heal - Part 2

How Does AEDP Work?

In the current article, I'm focusing on how AEDP works and going into more detail.

AEDP to Overcome Unresolved Trauma

AEDP is a therapeutic modality that focuses on helping clients to process and transform traumatic experiences in a safe and supportive environment (see my article: Why Experiential Therapy is More Effective to Overcome Trauma Than Regular Talk Therapy).

Here are some of the basics about how AEDP works:

• Building a Secure Therapeutic Relationship: An essential part of AEDP is developing a strong, trusting bond between the client and the therapist. The therapist becomes a secure base for emotional exploration and healing by providing empathy, validation and emotional support so that the client feels safe enough to share vulnerable feelings.

AEDP to Overcome Unresolved Trauma

• Helping Clients to Identify, Connect With and Process Core Emotions: Rather than just talking about emotions in an intellectual way, AEDP focuses on experiencing and processing emotions in the here-and-now with the therapist. This involves becoming aware and processing suppressed emotions related to traumatic experiences. 

• Working Through Defensive Mechanisms That No Longer Work: Clients learn to recognize, understand and modify defense mechanisms that might have served them as part of their survival strategy earlier in life but no longer work for them now.

AEDP to Overcome Unresolved Trauma

• Accessing Transformational Affects: AEDP helps clients to access positive emotions, like joy, love and compassion, which can empower clients to heal unresolved trauma and make positive changes (see my article: How Glimmers Give You a Sense of Ease, Safety and Joy).

• Metaprocessing: This involves reflecting on the therapeutic process including the client's emotional experiences in AEDP therapy, the therapist's interventions and the therapeutic alliance between the client and therapist. This helps clients to develop insight into their emotional patterns and how they apply them to other relationships.

What Experiential Techniques Does AEDP Use?

AEDP's experiential techniques include:

• Mind-Body Focused Techniques: An AEDP therapist helps the client to become aware of bodily sensations and how these sensations relate to their emotional experiences (see my article: The Mind-Body Connection: The Body Offers a Window Into the Unconscious Mind).

• Guided Imagery and Visualization: An AEDP therapist helps clients to process emotions with guided imagery and visualization exercises.

• Role Playing and Other Interactive Exercises: The therapist helps clients to practice new emotional responses and behaviors in a safe therapeutic environment.

How Does AEDP Help Clients to Have Transformational Experiences?

• Developing Greater Emotional Awareness and Emotional Regulation: Clients learn to identify, manage and regulate their emotions more effectively.

• Strengthening a Sense of Self and Building Resilience: When clients process difficult  emotions related to trauma, they develop a greater sense of self acceptance and capacity to cope with challenges.

• Creating More Fulfilling Relationships: By addressing attachment wounds and developing healthier emotional patterns, clients can develop secure and more fulfilling relationships.

Conclusion

Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy (AEDP) is a dynamic and experiential approach which facilitates deep emotional healing by creating a safe therapeutic space for clients to explore, process and transform unresolved trauma and current emotional challenges.

Getting Help in AEDP Therapy

If you have been struggling on your own to overcome unresolved trauma, you could benefit from working with an AEDP therapist.

Getting Help in AEDP Therapy

Rather than struggling on your own, seek help in AEDP therapy so you can live a more fulfilling life.

About Me

I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT (for couples), Somatic Experiencing and Certified Sex Therapist.

I work with individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Also See My Articles:

Riding the Waves From Trauma to Transformation

What's the Difference Between "Bottom Up" and "Top Down" Approaches to Trauma Therapy?

What Are Involuntary Memories?

As a trauma therapist, I help clients to overcome unresolved trauma by using various trauma therapy modalities, so working with memories related to unresolved trauma is an essential part of my work. As a result, memories are very much on my mind most of the time.

What Are Involuntary Memories?

Whereas voluntary memories are deliberate efforts to recall the past, involuntary memories come unbidden.  

Involuntary Memories

Involuntary memories are often evoked by everyday occurrences and they're usually sudden and unexpected.

Involuntary memories are more intense than voluntary memories and they can have a major impact on you how you feel physically, emotionally and mentally.

These types of memories often have the following characteristics:

• They are related to cues in the environment. They can also involve a person's thoughts or emotions as well as their embodied sense of themselves from an earlier time.

• They come spontaneously and unbidden.

• They occur effortlessly at any time and any place.

• Some people experience involuntary memories while they're grieving such as when they're listening to music or smell a scent closely related to the deceased person, like a particular perfume.

• These type of memories can cause a chain reaction of thoughts, feelings and embodied sensations.

• They are more likely connected to specific events or people.

• They can provide a strong sense of yourself from a long time ago, including a sense of who you were when you were a child (or any other time) that you might have forgotten.

• They can transport you back to happy times in your life.

• They can transport you back to unhappy times in your life.

• Recurrent involuntary memories related to PTSD (posttraumatic stress disorder) where thoughts and emotions are intrusive and disturbing are a subcategory of involuntary memories (see my article: What Are Emotional Flashbacks Related to Trauma?).

Involuntary Memories in Proust's In Search of Lost Time

Involuntary memories are actually more common than most people think. 

I recently started rereading In Search of Lost Time by Marcel Proust.

This novel offers one of the most famous examples of an involuntary memory.

Involuntary Memories in In Search of Lost Time

As an adult, the novel's narrator remembers long-forgotten childhood memories when he tastes a madeleine cookie dipped in tea. He wasn't trying to evoke any memories. He was just enjoying his cookie and lime-flower tea and when these memories came back to him spontaneously.

From there, he experienced a cascade of childhood memories he had not thought about in a long time.

Aside from the famous madeleine cookie, the narrator had several other experiences with involuntary memories through ordinary everyday experiences, including stumbling on an uneven paving stone which transports him back to memories of Venice.

Experiencing Yourself the Way You Were at an Earlier Time in Your Life

When people experience an involuntary memory, they're not just recalling the facts about the memory. They're usually experiencing themselves the way they were at that time.

I had an experience with an involuntary memory about 20 years ago. 

It was an ordinary day and I was walking down the street in my neighborhood. Suddenly I detected a strong pleasant sweet scent, which brought up wistful feelings in me. 

I had to stop walking in order to figure out what was happening. 

Even though, at first, I couldn't identify the smell, that sweet scent transported me back to a time when I was five or six years old and I was sitting on the living room couch with my father in our old apartment.

It wasn't just that I was remembering sitting in the living room with my father--I was feeling how I felt back then when I was a child.

Involuntary Memories

Within seconds I realized that the sweet scent was the same as my father's cherry blend pipe tobacco and this scent was transporting me back to an early memory.

All of this happened within a matter of seconds and the experience was so fleeting that it was gone just as quickly as it came.

The narrator in In Search of Lost Time was also transported back to his childhood experiences of family visits to his Aunt Leonie's home in Combray, a small town just outside of Paris. 

He had an embodied experience of that time, including how he felt when, as a child, he was waiting for his mother's good night kiss.

Conclusion

Involuntary memories allow you to experience yourself as you were in the memory that is being evoked.

These memories can be evoked spontaneously by what you see, hear, smell, taste and feel (tactile sensations) and they can be transformational experiences.

Although you can attempt to bring back voluntary memories based on sensory experiences or through auto-suggestion, due to their involuntary nature, involuntary memories come unbidden.

About Me

I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, Somatic Experiencing and Sex Therapist.

I work with individual adult and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

 

What is a Flow State?

The Flow State has also been described as being "in the zone" or "in the groove."  

When  people are in a Flow State, they are so immersed and focused on whatever enjoyable task they're doing that they don't notice time is passing. 

A Flow State

This article will focus on:

• Defining the Flow State
• Positive Psychology and the Flow State
• The Benefits of the Flow State
• How to Enter into the Flow State

What is the Flow State?

The psychological Flow State is a state of being completely absorbed, focused and involved in an enjoyable task for its own sake.

A Flow State

The Flow State is similar to mindfulness in that a person who is in that state is in the present moment.

Tasks that allow for a Flow State include (but are not limited to): 

• Sports 
• Yoga
• Dancing 
• Reading
• Gardening
• Crafts
• Painting
• Drawing
• Video games
• Listening to music
• Playing an instrument
• Sex 

These tasks can be anything that is enjoyable, rewarding and at just the right level of challenge for a person's particular skill set.  

A Flow State

The tasks aren't so tough that they're overwhelming and they're not so easy that they're boring.

What is the Connection Between Positive Psychology and the Flow State?

Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, a Hungarian-American psychologist who was a leader in the Positive Psychology movement, popularized the concept of the Flow State.

The Positive Psychology movement was developed in the late 20th Century as an alternative to the psychological perspective at the time that focused on psychopathology.

In his book, Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience, Csikszentmihalyi indicated that people are happiest when they are in the Flow State.

He characterized nine components of the Flow State:

• Challenge-skill balance
• Merging of action and awareness
• Clarity
• Immediate and clear feedback
• Concentration on the task
• Paradox of control (the more you try to control something the more. you lose control)
• Transformation of time
• Loss of self consciousness
• Autotelic experience (performing tasks that are intrinsically rewarding)

What Are the Benefits of the Flow State?

• Better performance
• Fewer distractions
• Less self judgment
• Increased motivation to complete a task
• Great ability to spend a longer time on a task
• Increased skill and sense of self competence

How Can You Enter into the Flow State?

People often get into the Flow State without realizing it, but you can also try to induce a Flow State.

If you want to induce the Flow State, you can:

• Think about the times you were able to get into the Flow State in the past

A Flow State

• Engage in enjoyable activities where you can get immersed

• Eliminate distractions, interruptions and multitasking so you can focus on one activity

• Allow enough time to enter into a Flow State (a longer time is more conductive to Flow)

• Practice mindfulness

Conclusion

Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi's work emphasized that the Flow State can induce a feeling of happiness and a sense of meaningfulness.  

He also stressed the importance of the balance between the challenge of the task and the skill involved to be able to enter into a Flow State.

You can explore different tasks to find the ones that enable you to enter into a Flow State and derive the benefits of Flow.

About Me

I am a licensed New York City psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT, Somatic Experiencing and Sex Therapist.

I am a sex-positive therapist who works with individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Riding the Waves From Trauma to Transformation in Experiential Therapy

Making a decision to get help for unresolved trauma in trauma therapy isn't easy. So, most people who begin trauma therapy hope they can eventually free themselves of their traumatic history to live a more fulfilling life (see my article: Are You Reacting to Your Present Circumstances Based on Your Traumatic Past?).

From Trauma to Transformation in Experiential Therapy

I see many clients in my New York City private practice who have tried in vain to overcome trauma in regular talk therapy. Many of them have spent years in talk therapy trying to resolve their trauma. 

In many cases, they came away with new insights into their problems, but they don't feel any different (see my article: Developing Insight in Therapy Isn't Enough to Change).

In other words, they might understand why they get triggered in certain situations, but their insight doesn't prevent them from getting triggered again.

Experiential Therapy to Overcome Trauma

There are specific therapy modalities, known as Experiential Therapy, that were developed to help clients overcome trauma. 

Experiential Therapy is different from regular talk therapy, which I'll explain in the section below on Memory Reconsolidation.  

Experiential Therapy includes:

• EMDR Therapy (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing)

• Somatic Experiencing
  

• AEDP (Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy)

• Ego States Therapy (also known as Parts Work or Internal Family Systems)

• Hypnotherapy
  

• Coherence Therapy
  

And other types of Experiential therapy

Memory Reconsolidation in Experiential Trauma Therapy

As Bruce Ecker, LMFT, explains in his book, Unlocking the Emotional Brain, all Experiential Therapy provides an opportunity for memory reconsolidation, which is essential for resolving trauma. 

From Trauma to Transformation in Experiential Therapy

Memory reconsolidation is a neurobiological process whereby traumatic memories are recalled and made accessible to be reprocessed in Experiential Therapy (see my article: The Unconscious Mind and Experiential Therapy: The "Symptom" Contains the Solution for a more indepth explanation of the memory reconsolidation process).

Memory reconsolidation is one of the reasons why Experiential Therapy is more effective than regular talk therapy (see my article: Why Experiential Therapy is More Effective Than Regular Talk Therapy to Overcome Trauma).

Riding the Waves From Trauma to Transformation in Experiential Therapy

Many people who suffer with unresolved trauma try to avoid dealing with their trauma symptoms (see my article: How is Emotional Avoidance Related to Unresolved Trauma?).

While it's understandable that no one wants to experience emotional pain, unfortunately, when you resist these symptoms, they tend to come back even stronger.

When I work with clients who have unresolved trauma, I prepare them before processing the trauma by helping them to develop the internal resources to ride the waves when traumatic symptoms come up (see my article: Developing Internal Resources and Coping Skills).

While it's not pleasant to deal with these symptoms, as previously mentioned, resisting them only makes them worse.  In fact, many clients discover that once they have developed internal resources for coping with these symptoms, they're able to cope with the symptoms and it's not as bad as they anticipated.  

Many of them also realize that it took so much more energy to resist dealing with these symptoms than just learning to ride the waves of these symptoms when they come up until the trauma is resolved.

Working on Shock Trauma vs Developmental (Childhood) Trauma With Experiential Therapy

There is a difference between shock trauma and developmental trauma (see my article: What is the Difference Between Shock Trauma and Developmental Trauma?).

One-time traumatic events, like getting robbed or going through a natural disaster are called shock trauma. These are single events, and when there's no other underlying traumatic experiences, shock trauma tends to be easier to resolve in relatively fewer sessions.

Developmental trauma, which is also known as childhood trauma, is more complex.  This type of trauma usually occurs many times over time.  This includes childhood abuse and childhood emotional neglect.

Due to the complex nature of developmental trauma, processing this type of trauma tends to take longer (see my article: What is Complex Trauma?).

How much longer? Unfortunately, there's no way to know in advance.  Everyone processes trauma differently.  It might take months or it might take years depending upon the particular client, their traumatic history and how their particular response to processing trauma.  However, it's usually more effective and faster than regular talk therapy.

Working on Transgenerational Trauma

There is also transgenerational trauma (also known as intergenerational trauma) which is trauma that is passed down from one generation to the next.  

This type is trauma is experienced directly by your parents, grandparents or even great grandparents and it's unconsciously and unintentionally transmitted to you (see my article: Transgenerational Trauma).

Common examples of transgenerational trauma is when a parent or grandparent is a Holocaust survivor or experienced war trauma. Even if the trauma might never be discussed, it can still be transmitted to you and future generations (see my article: Your Unresolved Trauma Can Affect Your Children).

Taking the First Step to Overcome Trauma

The first step, which is making a decision to get help in trauma therapy, is often the hardest.

From Trauma to Transformation in Experiential Therapy

Many people are afraid trauma therapy will be too unpleasant. However, a skilled trauma therapist will work with a client to prepare them for the trauma processing and process the trauma in a way that is usually tolerable (see my article: Expanding Your Window of Tolerance in Experiential Therapy).

Getting Help in Trauma Therapy

If you feel stuck due to unresolved trauma, seek help from a skilled trauma therapist.

Rather than continuing to struggle on your own, you can get the help you need to lead a more fulfilling life.

About Me

I am a licensed New York City psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT, Somatic Experiencing and Sex Therapist.

One of my specialities, as a trauma therapist, is helping clients to overcome trauma (see my article: What is a Trauma Therapist?)

I work with individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.