Discovering Your Happiness Triggers

I'm discussing  triggers from a different perspective than how I usually discuss them as a trauma therapist (see my article: What is a Trauma Therapist?).

What Are Triggers?

Therapists, especially trauma therapists, tend to focus on trauma triggers because it's helpful for traumatized clients to know how to recognize and cope with triggers. But it's also important to recognize happiness triggers to add to the quality of your life.

Although the word "trigger" tends to have a negative connotation, psychologically speaking, triggers are neither negative or positive. Triggers are experiences that evoke memories. 

What Are Happiness Triggers?

Happiness triggers refers to rituals and routines we engage in to tap into positive memories and cultivate positive experiences.

Discovering Your Happiness Triggers

The term "happiness triggers" is usually associated with Valorie Burton, life coach, author and motivational speaker.

What Are the Benefits of Discovering Your Happiness Triggers?

Discovering your happiness triggers can be a way of starting new positive habits because these triggers are associated with positive experiences and they can motivate you to develop positive habits.

Happiness triggers can also serve as an anchor in your life.

When happiness triggers evoke positive experiences, they access positive memories that are neurochemically wired in your brain.  

Happiness triggers can also help to pull you out of a funk when you're feeling low.

How to Develop Happiness Triggers

Happiness triggers are based on individual experiences, memories, needs, interests and values so they will be unique for each person.

Discovering Your Happiness Triggers

To discover your own unique happiness triggers, start by thinking about the small things in your life in the present or in the past that lift your mood and energy. It can be as simple as the ritual of having your morning coffee or tea, listening to your favorite podcast, taking a walk in the park and so on.

If you're still unsure, practice being present in the moment to experiences that bring you joy. Pay attention to your bodily experiences when you experience memories that were joyful or  evoke a sense of well-being.

Happiness Triggers Require Practice

Once you have discovered your unique happiness triggers, you need to practice them over and over again in order to develop them into positive habits.

These new habits can include behavioral, cognitive (thinking) or emotional triggers.

Behavioral Happiness Triggers

Behavioral happiness might include:

• Exercising

• Yoga
  

Discovering Your Happiness Triggers

• Going for a walk in nature

• Dancing

• Listening to music

• Performing an act of kindness for someone

• Reading a favorite book

• Engaging in a favorite hobby

Cognitive (Thinking) Happiness Triggers

Cognitive happiness triggers might include:

• Reframing negative thoughts with positive self talk or affirmations

• Making friends with your inner critic

• Recalling and re-experiencing positive memories and experiences

• Practicing mindfulness meditation
  

Emotional Happiness Triggers

• Practicing gratitude by keeping a gratitude journal

• Practicing acceptance and self compassion

Discovering Your Happiness Triggers

• Engaging your five senses (sight, sound, taste, smell and touch)

• Getting a massage

• Getting a manicure

• Playing a sport

• Connecting or reconnecting with a friend or loved one

Conclusion

Developing and practicing happiness triggers can increase your sense of joy and well-being.

Discovering Your Happiness Triggers

You can also discover happiness triggers by connecting to your inner world and connecting to a loved one to discover what is most meaningful and fulfilling to you.

About Me

I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT (for couples), Somatic Experiencing and Sex Therapist.

I have over 20 years of experience helping individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Arousal Non-Concordance and a History of Sexual Abuse

In an earlier article, I wrote about arousal non-concordance to explain what it is and to normalize it as a common experience for many people (see my article: What is Arousal Non-Concordance?).

Arousal Non-Concordance and a History of Sexual Abuse

What is Arousal Non-Concordance?

Arousal non-concordance occurs when there is a disconnect between how someone feels physically and how they feel emotionally and psychologically.

Arousal non-concordance can occur when someone feels physically aroused, but they don't want to have sex. 

It can also occur when someone wants to have sex, but they don't feel physically aroused.

What is the Difference Between Sexual Desire and Sexual Arousal?

Arousal non-concordance highlights the difference between feeling sexual desire and sexual arousal.  

Sexual desire is a psychological state. It's a state of mind which is often described as being "in the mood" to have sex.  Desire is often influenced by thoughts, emotions and the particular context a person is in.

Sexual arousal is a physical response which can include changes in erection and lubrication. 

Sexual arousal is often triggered by visual or physical cues or memories.

Sexual desire and sexual arousal often go together--but not always. This is evident with arousal non-concordance.

Examples of Arousal Non-Concordance

The following short vignettes are just a few examples of arousal non-concordance:

• Liz and Jane: Liz feels sexually turned on when Jane kisses her. But when Jane touches Liz's genitals, she discovers Liz feels dry. As a result, Jane assumes Liz doesn't want to have sex so she stops kissing her. She assumes that if Liz was turned on, she would be lubricated. So, Liz tells Jane that, even though she's not wet, she really wants Jane, so they continue to kiss and make love.

• Mary and Bill: Bill touched Mary's genitals and she knew this meant he wanted to have sex. But she had a headache and she wasn't in the mood. She told Bill that she loves him, but she would rather wait until the morning to have sex after her headache goes away. Bill was confused and said to Mary, "You're so wet. I don't understand how you're not in the mood." Mary explained to him that her body was sexually aroused, but she wasn't  desiring sex at that moment. By the morning, Mary's headache was gone away and she and Bill enjoyed sex.

• John and Ed: John and Ed were in bed when John told Ed that he wanted to have sex. But during foreplay Ed noticed that John wasn't getting an erection so he stopped kissing and touching him because he assumed that John didn't desire him. At that point, John explained that, even though he really desired Ed a lot, he sometimes had problems having an erection when he was anxious. He said he just needed to relax. So after they cuddled for a while, John felt calmer and he was able to have an erection.

Arousal Non-Concordance and Memories of Sexual Abuse

Arousal non-concordance can occur under many circumstances, including while having memories of sexual abuse (see my article: Overcoming the Trauma of Sexual Abuse).

Arousal Non-Concordance and Memories of Sexual Abuse

The concept of arousal non-concordance is important to understand when there is a history of sexual abuse.

Many children and adults, who were sexually abused, might have felt physically aroused when they were being abused--even though they had no desire to be sexual with their abuser. 

This happens because the body can become sexually aroused even though the person has no desire to have sex (see my article: Coping With Trauma: Managing Sexual Abuse Triggers).

It's common for people who were sexually abused to get confused about why they get physically aroused with these memories because they don't know about arousal non-concordance. They feel like there's something wrong with them or they were to blame for the sexual abuse. But, in fact, there's nothing wrong with them at all and they're not to blame.

Everyone is different. Some people who were abused feel ashamed and guilty about getting aroused by the memories.

Other people accept their arousal as a common experience and they're not bothered by it.  

Other people incorporate their earlier experience in a roleplay with a partner to feel empowered. In other words, when the original experience occurred, they had no control over what was happening to them. But in a roleplay with a partner they use their imagination to feel in control and they experience a different outcome. 

In that sense, the roleplay becomes healing for them.

Getting Help in Therapy

Most licensed mental health professionals have no sex therapy training and don't understand arousal non-concordance.

Getting Help in Therapy

If you want to work through issues around arousal non-concordance, including a history of trauma, you need to work with a psychotherapist who has training in both sex therapy and trauma therapy.

Rather than struggling on your own, seek help from a psychotherapist who has the expertise you need so you can live a more fulfilling life.

About Me

I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT (for couples), Somatic Experiencing and Sex Therapist.

With over 20 years of experience, I have helped individual adults and couples to resolve sexual and/or trauma-related issues (see my article: What Are Common Issues Discussed in Sex Therapy?).

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

What Are Involuntary Memories?

As a trauma therapist, I help clients to overcome unresolved trauma by using various trauma therapy modalities, so working with memories related to unresolved trauma is an essential part of my work. As a result, memories are very much on my mind most of the time.

What Are Involuntary Memories?

Whereas voluntary memories are deliberate efforts to recall the past, involuntary memories come unbidden.  

Involuntary Memories

Involuntary memories are often evoked by everyday occurrences and they're usually sudden and unexpected.

Involuntary memories are more intense than voluntary memories and they can have a major impact on you how you feel physically, emotionally and mentally.

These types of memories often have the following characteristics:

• They are related to cues in the environment. They can also involve a person's thoughts or emotions as well as their embodied sense of themselves from an earlier time.

• They come spontaneously and unbidden.

• They occur effortlessly at any time and any place.

• Some people experience involuntary memories while they're grieving such as when they're listening to music or smell a scent closely related to the deceased person, like a particular perfume.

• These type of memories can cause a chain reaction of thoughts, feelings and embodied sensations.

• They are more likely connected to specific events or people.

• They can provide a strong sense of yourself from a long time ago, including a sense of who you were when you were a child (or any other time) that you might have forgotten.

• They can transport you back to happy times in your life.

• They can transport you back to unhappy times in your life.

• Recurrent involuntary memories related to PTSD (posttraumatic stress disorder) where thoughts and emotions are intrusive and disturbing are a subcategory of involuntary memories (see my article: What Are Emotional Flashbacks Related to Trauma?).

Involuntary Memories in Proust's In Search of Lost Time

Involuntary memories are actually more common than most people think. 

I recently started rereading In Search of Lost Time by Marcel Proust.

This novel offers one of the most famous examples of an involuntary memory.

Involuntary Memories in In Search of Lost Time

As an adult, the novel's narrator remembers long-forgotten childhood memories when he tastes a madeleine cookie dipped in tea. He wasn't trying to evoke any memories. He was just enjoying his cookie and lime-flower tea and when these memories came back to him spontaneously.

From there, he experienced a cascade of childhood memories he had not thought about in a long time.

Aside from the famous madeleine cookie, the narrator had several other experiences with involuntary memories through ordinary everyday experiences, including stumbling on an uneven paving stone which transports him back to memories of Venice.

Experiencing Yourself the Way You Were at an Earlier Time in Your Life

When people experience an involuntary memory, they're not just recalling the facts about the memory. They're usually experiencing themselves the way they were at that time.

I had an experience with an involuntary memory about 20 years ago. 

It was an ordinary day and I was walking down the street in my neighborhood. Suddenly I detected a strong pleasant sweet scent, which brought up wistful feelings in me. 

I had to stop walking in order to figure out what was happening. 

Even though, at first, I couldn't identify the smell, that sweet scent transported me back to a time when I was five or six years old and I was sitting on the living room couch with my father in our old apartment.

It wasn't just that I was remembering sitting in the living room with my father--I was feeling how I felt back then when I was a child.

Involuntary Memories

Within seconds I realized that the sweet scent was the same as my father's cherry blend pipe tobacco and this scent was transporting me back to an early memory.

All of this happened within a matter of seconds and the experience was so fleeting that it was gone just as quickly as it came.

The narrator in In Search of Lost Time was also transported back to his childhood experiences of family visits to his Aunt Leonie's home in Combray, a small town just outside of Paris. 

He had an embodied experience of that time, including how he felt when, as a child, he was waiting for his mother's good night kiss.

Conclusion

Involuntary memories allow you to experience yourself as you were in the memory that is being evoked.

These memories can be evoked spontaneously by what you see, hear, smell, taste and feel (tactile sensations) and they can be transformational experiences.

Although you can attempt to bring back voluntary memories based on sensory experiences or through auto-suggestion, due to their involuntary nature, involuntary memories come unbidden.

About Me

I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, Somatic Experiencing and Sex Therapist.

I work with individual adult and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

 

What is Bilateral Stimulation (BLS) in EMDR Therapy?

EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapy is a safe and effective therapy for processing trauma (see my article: How EMDR Therapy Works: EMDR and the Brain).

Bilateral Stimulation as Part of EMDR Therapy

EMDR has been used to treat trauma since the late 1980s when it was developed by Dr. Francine Shapiro. 

In addition to being a clinician, Dr. Shapiro was also a researcher, so she did EMDR research which demonstrated the effectiveness of EMDR to process trauma.

A key component of EMDR therapy is Bilateral Stimulation (BLS).

What is Bilateral Stimulation (BLS) in EMDR Therapy?

Let's start by defining BLS.

BLS is the use of a stimulus that activates both sides of the brain and the body which allows the processing of memories, emotions and bodily sensations which are "stuck" in the nervous system as a result of trauma.

By activating both sides of the brain and body, BLS allows more effective processing of trauma than regular talk therapy.  

Bilateral Stimulation as Part of EMDR Therapy

Clients often report feeling less distressed by traumatic memories while using BLS because BLS has an integrative function. 

In other words, instead of being "stuck," traumatic memories get integrated with other experiences so that, over time, a client's distress level decreases until these memories are no longer distressing.

In the late 1980s, when Dr. Shapiro was developing EMDR therapy, BLS only consisted of eye movements (eyes moving back and forth while following the therapist's hand).

As other EMDR therapists contributed to the development of EMDR therapy, they discovered that other types of BLS worked just as well as eye movements. 

So for instance, many EMDR therapists had clients hold a set of tappers in their hands for BLS.  The tappers buzzed back and forth from the right side to the left and back again. These therapists discovered that tappers were just as effective as using eye movements as a form of BLS.

Dr. Laurel Parnell, who developed Attachment-Focused EMDR therapy, is known for using tapping as BLS where either the therapist or the client taps alternately on their arms or knees.  

Some clients like to listen to music with headphones where the music goes from one ear to the other back and forth. 

The advantage of using BLS that doesn't involve moving the eyes back and forth is that clients can close their eyes while processing a traumatic memory so they can tune into what's happening in their body, which is an important part of EMDR therapy, a mind-body oriented therapy.

Why is BLS Used in EMDR Therapy?

EMDR research has shown that using BLS as a key component to EMDR therapy and makes it a powerful modality for processing trauma, posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), other forms of anxiety and depression--to name just a few mental health issues where EMDR has been found to be highly effective.

Other Forms of BLS in Everyday Life

Aside from EMDR therapy, there are other forms of BLS in our everyday life.

Common examples of bilateral stimulation in everyday life include:

• Walking or Running: When you walk or run, you move one leg and then the other so that walking becomes a bilateral experience.

• Swimming: When you swim, you alternate using your arms and legs, which is a bilateral experience.

• Biking: When you ride a bike, you alternate each leg as you pedal, which is a bilateral experience.

People often report that when they walk, run, swim or bike, they feel better.  Many people say they come up with solutions to problems even if they're not actively thinking about these problems.

People also report feeling more relaxed after engaging in one of these activities, similar to how many clients experience BLS as part of EMDR therapy.

How is BLS Related to Memory Reconsolidation?

BLS is thought to be similar to REM (rapid eye movement) sleep.  

REM is a phase of sleep where memories are reconsolidated.

Since BLS activates both sides of the brain, similar to REM, it allows for communication and integration between fragmented parts of traumatic memories which have been stored in different parts of the brain.

EMDR Processing and Memory Reconsolidation

During EMDR reprocessing of a traumatic memory, the memory is brought back into consciousness during BLS and it is restored into long term memory with less vividness and intensity.  This is how memories that are "stuck" get "unstuck."

Over time, processing traumatic memories using BLS during EMDR sessions, makes the traumatic memories less distressing. When memories are restored in long term memory with less distress, the client experiences emotional healing.

They also understand on an emotional level (not just on a cognitive level) that the trauma is from the past and they no longer feel the negative impact in the present (see my article: Reacting to the Present Based on Your Traumatic Past).

This process is not something that happens in just a few sessions, especially if the trauma is longstanding and complex.  However, EMDR therapy is usually faster and more effective than regular talk therapy.

Also, see my article: EMDR Therapy Online is Just as Effective as EMDR in Person

Getting Help in EMDR Therapy

If you have been unable to resolve traumatic experiences on your own, you could benefit from working with a Trauma Therapist who does EMDR therapy.

Getting Help in EMDR Therapy

See my article: EMDR Therapy - When Talk Therapy Isn't Enough)

Working through unresolved trauma can help you to lead a more meaningful life.

About Me

I am a licensed New York City psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT, Somatic Experiencing and Sex Therapist.

I work with individual adults and couples.

I have helped many clients overcome unresolved trauma using EMDR therapy and other forms of trauma therapy (see my article: What is a Trauma Therapist?).

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

What Are Peak Experiences?

In my prior article, What is Self Actualization and What Qualities Do Self Actualizers Possess?, I began a discussion about Abraham Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs with an emphasis on self actualizers and their characteristics.  

Peak Experiences

What Are Peak Experiences?

According to Maslow, peak experiences play an important part in self actualization, which is the focus of this article.  He believed peak experiences make it possible to experience your true self (see my article: Becoming Your True Self).

Although Maslow believed that self actualization is rare, he believed that it's possible for people to have peak experiences.

Peak experiences are transcendent moments of joy, elation, awe, ecstasy or wonder (see my article: Seeing Small Wonders All Around Us If We Just Take the Time to Notice).

These are exceptional experiences that stand out from other experiences and often include:

• A sense of fulfillment
• A significant experience that increases awareness, possibly a turning point in life
• A spiritual sense of being at one with the world

When Do Peak Experiences Occur?

Peak experiences often occur while: 

• Working on a creative project
• Spending time in nature
• Watching a sunset
• Falling in love
• Making love
• Having an orgasm
• Meditating
  
• Having a lucid dream
• Having an intuitive dream or experience (see my article: Dream Incubation)
• Feeling the rapture of music
• Feeling moved by a work of art
• Experiencing synchronicities
• Experiencing a sense of flow while dancing or moving
• Spending time with close family and friends
• Participating in a spiritual practice
• Participating in sports and being "in the zone"
• Engaging in an enjoyable activity where you have a sense of flow
• Helping someone in need
• Achieving a challenging goal
• Feeling triumphant after overcoming a challenge

What Do Peak Experiences Feel Like?

People often describe peak experiences as altered states of consciousness where they feel euphoric.  

Maslow described peak experiences as experiencing the highest state of happiness.  

During peak experiences people often describe their experience as surrendering to something greater than themselves.  

For instance, standing on a beach and experiencing the vastness of the ocean, you can feel the power and beauty of the ocean. You can also experience how small you are compared to this large body of water.  You might also feel a sense of oneness with the ocean as you watch the ebb and flow of the waves.

Often there is a loss of time and space as you merge with your surroundings.  For instance, if you are stargazing, you can sense the timelessness of the experience as you appreciate the beauty.  

Past, present and future can together for you in that moment.

Identifying Your Own Personal Peak Experiences

In order to understand the personal meaning of peak experiences in your life, think back to times in your life that were transcendent and meaningful.  

It might have been for only a moment, but these memories usually stand out.

Peak experiences often occur when people are intentional and have a sense of purpose.  Maybe you were having fun at the time with others. Or you maybe you were alone when you had a meaningful experience that changed your perspective.

Peak experiences also occur when you have a sense of deep fulfillment.  So, you can think back to times in your life when you felt especially fulfilled and joyous.

Why It's Important to Identify Peak Experiences From Your Past

Peak experiences can be life changing.  

When you identify the types of experiences that gave you a sense of wonder, awe and transcendence, you become aware of the most meaningful times in your life.

By identifying these powerful moments in your life, you can get a sense of what's most important to you and how these experiences enhance your life.

In addition, you'll get a sense of what inspires these moments for you so that you can enjoy more peak experiences as you can become more attuned to them.

For instance, if you had a sense of purpose and fulfillment when you did artwork, but you gave up doing artwork, you'll realize how important that work was to your sense of well-being. You might also realize you want to make time to do artwork to have those experiences again.

You might also remember other times when you felt most alive, in a state of flow, and consider how you can have other similar experiences.

An example of that might be a meditation practice.  You might remember a time when you went into a deep trance state when you felt at one with the world.  If you have stopped meditating and you remember how fulfilling it was for you, you might want to resume meditation.  

Can You Create Peak Experiences?

Peak experiences are often spontaneous.  They can be momentary or last hours or days.  

I believe you can prime yourself for having peak experiences if you're aware of these heightened states from the past, you're open to experiencing these states again and you cultivate the mindset, circumstances and environment that could inspire peak experiences.

About Me

I am a licensed New York City psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT, Somatic Experiencing and Sex Therapist.

I work with individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Self Help Strategies For Coping With an Anniversary of a Traumatic Event

Anniversaries of traumatic events often bring back emotions and thoughts associated with the original event.  This can include sadness, anxiety, anger and feelings of powerlessness as well as other reactions.

Coping With An Anniversary of a Traumatic Event

There is no one way to heal from trauma.  Each person will heal in their own way and in their own timeframe.  

Self Help Strategies For Coping With the Anniversary of a Traumatic Event

The following coping strategies can be helpful:

• Know That Experiencing Distress on the Anniversary of a Traumatic Event is Common and Normal:  You're not alone.  Many people feel distressed on these anniversaries.  Feeling distressed is a common response.  You might find yourself remembering the event in more detail than you normally do as the anniversary brings back memories.

• Acknowledge Your Thoughts and Emotions: Rather than trying to suppress emotions and thoughts that might be uncomfortable for you, acknowledge them.  Suppressing thoughts and emotions will only intensify them, so set aside some time to allow yourself to experience what is coming up for you and know that these experiences are common.  In addition to your distress, you might also find yourself remembering pleasant memories from before the traumatic event alongside the sad ones.  This is also a common experience.

• Be Self Compassionate: Instead of judging yourself for having these thoughts and emotions, be compassionate--like you would for a good friend or a close family member (see my article: Developing Self Compassion as an Essential Part of Trauma Recovery).

• Find Healthy Ways to Cope With Your Distress:  Whether you talk to a trusted friend or family member or you journal about what you're experiencing, it's important to find healthy ways to cope with your distress. Creating a personal ritual can be meaningful and helpful.  It doesn't have to be an elaborate ritual.  It can be as simple as lighting a candle or using an image that is symbolic of the anniversary.  Avoid negative ways of coping like drinking or drugging that will only mask your experiences (see my article: Writing to Cope With Grief)

• Try to Stay Balanced: It's easy to get caught up in thoughts of "what if" or "if only."  Nothing good will come from this, so try to bring yourself back to the present moment.  One way to do this is to engage your senses:

• What you see
• What you hear
• What you feel (tactile sensation)
• What you smell
• What, if anything, you taste

Getting Help in Therapy

Anniversaries of traumatic events can be challenging.  

If you find self help strategies aren't enough for you, you could benefit from working with a licensed mental health professional.

A skilled psychotherapist, who specializes in trauma, can help you to work through distressing feelings.

About Me

I am a licensed New York City psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT and Somatic Experiencing therapist.

I work with individual adults and couples.

I specialize in helping clients to overcome trauma (see my article: What is a Trauma Therapist?).

To find out more abut me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Coping With Emotional Triggers

Emotional triggers spark intense emotional reactions. They're usually associated with prior unresolved trauma. The emotional reaction might be fear, panic, anxiety, anger, sadness or any other unpleasant emotion (see my article: Reacting in the Present Based on Your Traumatic Past).

Coping With Emotional Triggers

The emotional trigger might be a memory, a song, something someone said to you, an event or any other experience (see my article: How Unresolved Childhood Trauma Gets Triggered in You as an Adult).

Regardless of the mood you're in at the time, a trigger can change your mood in an instant, so it's important to learn how to identify, cope and, eventually work towards overcoming triggers.

How Do You Identify Your Emotional Triggers?

Triggers are different for everyone, so each person has their own individual response to them.  Knowing how to identify your triggers can help you to cope.

Common Triggers include:

• betrayal
  
• rejection
• feeling unwanted or invisible (see my article: Growing Up Feeling Invisible)
• feeling ignored
• feeling unlovable (see my article: Overcoming the Pain of Feeling Unlovable)
• feeling helpless or powerless
• loss of control
• criticism from others or your own inner critic (see my article: Overcoming the Internal Critic )
• feeling insecure
• loss of independence
• having your beliefs challenged
• unjust treatment

Listen to Your Body

Knowing about the mind-body connection can help you to deal with triggers (see my article: The Mind-Body Connection: Your Body Offers a Window into Your Unconscious Mind).  Physical reactions can include:

• racing heart
• panicky feeling
• sweating
• feeling shaky or dizzy
• nausea
• headache
• jaw clinching
• hands clinching
• tingling feeling
• fight/flight/freeze reactions

Take a Step Back

Emotional triggers happen in an instant, so once you realize you're triggered, it's important to take a step back before you react (see my article: Responding Instead of Reacting);

• Get curious
• Ask yourself what just happened to trigger you.
• Ask yourself when in the past you felt this way.
• Ask yourself if your reaction to the present situation is out of proportion to what's happening now.
• Ask yourself how much of your reaction is related to the past?

Calm Yourself

Once you've taken a step back, make a conscious effort to calm yourself:

• Breathe (see my article: Learning to Calm Yourself: Square Breathing)
• Journal about your experience (see my article: Journal Writing Can Help Relieve Stress and Anxiety)
• Talk to a trusted friend or mentor

Getting Help in Therapy

If you find that you're getting emotionally triggered often, you could benefit from working with a licensed mental health professional who has expertise in helping clients to overcome emotional triggers related to unresolved trauma.

A skilled trauma therapist can help you to get to the problem so you no longer get triggered (see my article: What is a Trauma Therapist?).

Rather than struggling on your own, seek help so you can lead a more fulfilling life.

About Me

I am a licensed NYC psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT and Somatic Experiencing therapist.

I work with individual adults and couples.

As a trauma therapist, I have helped many clients to overcome their trauma.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.