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I've written several articles about IFS Parts Work Therapy in the past (see the links at the end of this article).
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| Discovering Core Self in IFS Therapy |
What is Core Self in IFS Parts Work Therapy?
IFS is Internal Family Systems, an evidence-based therapy developed by Dr. Richard C. Schwartz to help clients heal from psychological trauma.
From the IFS perspective, Core Self is an inate state of being that everyone possesses.
Unlike parts, which are like subpersonalities in IFS, Core Self isn't a part of the personality. IFS posits that the Core Self is in a self leadership role in every person and one way to describe Core Self is in terms of the 8 Cs:
- Compassion
- Curiosity
- Clarity
- Creativity
- Calmness
- Confidence
- Courage
- Connectedness
How Can You Access Your Core Self?
The Core Self can be accessed through various practices including:
- Mindfulness: A basic mindfulness exercise involves focusing on your breath while allowing whatever thoughts and feelings to come up without judgment.
- Meditation: Guided meditations can help you to connect with your Core Self so you can experience yourself in a deeper way.
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| Discovering Core Self in IFS Parts Therapy |
- Self Compassion: Practicing self compassion is key to connecting with your Core Self. Self compassion allows you to connect with yourself in a loving nonjudgmental way.
- Focusing on Your Body: Taking time to notice physical sensations in your body in a gentle and loving way can help you to connect with your body's innate wisdom (see my article: The Mind-Body Connection: The Body Offers a Window Into the Unconscious Mind).
How is Core Self Different From Parts of Yourself?
- Parts: Everyone is made up of a multiplicity of selves.. In this case, I'm not talking about multiple personality disorder. Instead, I'm talking about the many subpersonalities that everyone possess that carry many emotions, beliefs and histories. There are no "bad parts" and it's not the goal of IFS to get rid of any of the parts. However, some of the parts might be in need of healing because they have taken on extreme roles due to trauma.
- Core Self: Core Self is distinct from parts. The Core Self, which is also called the True Self, Higher Self or the Self (with a capital "S"), is the source of your inner wisdom and healing. When you are within the perspective of your Core Self, the Core Self can work with your parts instead of being overwhelmed by parts.
The Core Self can be difficult to access when your parts are activated and "in charge" of you, but you can learn to access Core Self (as described in the vignette below).
Clinical Vignette
The following clinical vignette, which is a composite of many cases, illustrates how a client in IFS Parts Work Therapy can access Core Self to heal from trauma:
Tina
When Tina sought help in IFS Parts Work Therapy, she felt overwhelmed by unresolved childhood trauma.
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| Discovering Your Core Self in IFS Therapy |
Although she had close friends, Tina had difficulty maintaining romantic relationships once they became serious. Over time, Tina became emotionally distant in her relationships because she felt too emotionally vulnerable to express her feelings with the partner she was seeing at the time.
Her pattern was that she would be happy and excited to get into a new relationship, but when she and her partner developed deeper feelings for each other, her trauma symptoms got triggered.
She grew up in a family where her mother was emotionally distant and her father, whom she felt a closer connection to, disappeared one day when she was seven years old. After that, her mother became depressed and barely got out of bed, so Tina's aunt came to help them.
No one ever discussed what happened to her father and, as many children do, Tina blamed herself for her father abandoning the family.
Several years later, Tina found out from a neighbor that her father left her family to be with another woman and he started a new family. When Tina tried to contact him, her father refused to talk to her.
Many years later, when Tina was in her 30s, her father contacted her out of the blue because he had terminal cancer. By then, his second wife had left him and his children from the second marriage didn't want to maintain contact with him.
Since her father had no one to look after him, Tina allowed him to stay with her while he had cancer treatment. She had a lot of ambivalence about taking him in, but she didn't feel she could send him away.
During the next two years, Tina and her father worked towards reconciling their father-daughter relationship. Her father regretted how he left her and her mother and he asked for Tina's forgiveness. Knowing he was going to die, Tina told him that she forgave him, but deep down she still felt the hurt and pain of her younger self who was abandoned.
This hurt and pain related to her father's abandonment carried over into her romantic relationships as soon as she became emotionally invested in the relationship. She feared she would be abandoned again and she dealt with it by becoming emotionally numb.
When Tina sought help in IFS Parts Work Therapy, her therapist provided her with psychoeducation about IFS.
She also helped Tina to develop the necessary tools and coping strategies to do the deep work involved with IFS, and Tina also journaled and meditated between sessions.
After her therapist discussed Core Self, Tina took time during her busy week to access this deeper part of herself through mindfulness meditation.
Over time, she also learned to distinguish between the fearful and anxious parts of herself and her Core Self. She knew that whenever she felt fearful or anxious, she was looking through the perspective of one or more parts. And when she felt calm and compassionate, she was in touch with her Core Self.
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| Discovering Your Core Self in IFS Parts Work Therapy |
This was the early stage of her IFS therapy and she was aware she and her therapist needed to do work on the parts that were causing her to feel fear and anxiety. But after she learned to switch her perspective from her parts to her Core Self, she felt calmer and more in charge of her life.
Over time, with the help of IFS Therapy, Tina was able to develop a new relationship beyond the initial honeymoon stage. Although it was challenging for her, she used the tools she learned in IFS to heal her trauma and remain in her relationship.
Conclusion
Core Self is the innate essence that everyone possesses.
It can be challenging to access Core Self when you are immersed in parts, including anxious, fearful, shamed or angry parts.
IFS Parts Work Therapy provides ways to access Core Self during the initial stage of IFS Therapy.
Once clients can access their Core Self, they can work in IFS to deal with the wounded and traumatized parts.
Getting Help in IFS Parts Work Therapy
IFS Parts Work Therapy is an evidence-based effective form of trauma therapy.
If you're struggling with unresolved trauma, you could benefit from working with an IFS therapist so you can free yourself from the effects of your traumatic history.
About Me
I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT (for couples), Parts Work (IFS and Ego States Therapy), Somatic Experiencing and Certified Sex Therapist.
As a trauma therapist, I have helped many individual adults and couples to overcome trauma.
To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychtherapist.
To set up a consultation, call at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.
Also See My Other IFS Articles:
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