How to Quiet Your Overthinking Mind

The first step in quieting your overthinking mind is becoming aware of what you're worrying about and how it's affecting you.

How is Your Overthinking Mind Affecting You?

Worrying can take a toll on your physical and mental well-being.

How to Quiet Your Overthinking Mind

Take a step back and notice your thought patterns. When you have a moment to yourself, do you use it to relax or do something you enjoy or do you engage in repetitive thinking where you worry about whether you forgot to perform a task or if you overestimated how much someone likes you or something else you worry about?

If you tend to engage in worrying, notice how it affects your mood and how it affects your life. What's the primary emotion behind your overthinking? Are you feeling irritable, nervous or guilty? 

Being aware of the effect of overthinking also includes having bodily awareness. This means you notice your bodily responses, which might include tense shoulders, feeling tightness in your chest or clenching in your stomach--just to give a few possible examples.

How to Quiet Your Overthinking Mind

When you're aware of how you're thinking and the impact it's having on you, you have a better chance of changing it.

What Are Some Tips to Stop Overthinking?

• Distract Yourself With An Activity You Enjoy: Go to your favorite workout class or take up a new hobby. Whatever you choose, make it something that will occupy your mind.

How to Quiet Your Overthinking Mind

• Breathe: Learn square breathing to calm yourself. This can also take your mind off whatever you're ruminating about.  

• Meditate: Mindfulness meditation can help you to quiet your mind and be in the present moment rather than worrying about other things.

• Develop a Broader Perspective: To gain perspective on non-urgent matters, ask yourself if you will care about this non-urgent matter in five or ten years. By gaining a broader perspective, you can learn to prioritize other matters that are more important.

How to Quiet Your Overthinking Mind

• Help Others: Rather than worrying, consider helping others. For instance, your friend who has a young child might appreciate a break if you watch her child. You can also volunteer to help those less fortunate than yourself.

• Learn to Reframe Your Negative Thoughts: Instead of going to the worst case scenario, reframe your thoughts to consider possible positive outcomes (see my article: Develop a Different Perspective Through Reframing).

• Validate Yourself For Your Successes: Instead of focusing on things you feel you didn't get right or things you worry about not getting right in the future, acknowledge and validate your successes--no matter how small (see my article: What is Self Validation?).

How to Quiet Your Overthinking Mind

• Take Action: Instead of worrying about the things you have done or haven't done, take action to do things you can take care of now. This can be empowering and give you a sense of accomplishment.

• Embrace Your Fears: Learn to accept that some things will always be out of your control and, instead of trying to push your fears away, embrace them.

How to Quiet Your Overthinking Mind

• Practice Self Compassion: Shift your thoughts and feelings from worrying to practicing self compassion.

Get Help in Therapy: 

If you have been unable to quiet your overthinking mind with self help tips, consider getting help in therapy. 

Get Help in Therapy

A skilled psychotherapist can help you to stop overthinking so you can live a more fulfilling life,

About Me

I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT (for couples), Somatic Experiencing and Certified Sex Therapist.

I work with individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

How to Do the Body Scan Meditation to Reduce Stress

One of the tools that I teach clients in my psychotherapy private practice in New York City is doing a body scan meditation (see my article: Developing Coping Strategies in Therapy).  

Breathing and doing a body scan meditation helps to reduce tension in the body and activate the parasympathetic nervous system to help you to relax (see my article: Coping and Staying Calm During a Crisis).

How to Do a Body Scan Meditation to Reduce Stress

There are many ways to do a body scan meditation.  

The Body Scan Meditation

Here's what I teach my clients to do:

• Start By Taking a Few Deep Breaths:  
• You can close your eyes if you feel comfortable doing this or you can find a spot on the floor to look at so you can begin to narrow your focus to your body.  

• When you're breathing in, make sure that your abdominal muscles expand.  You can think of inhaling as taking in healing cleansing breaths.  

• When you breathe out, feel your abdominal muscles contract a little so you're letting out all the air, and think of letting go of all the stress from the day.

• Continue to do this until you feel yourself starting to become calmer.

• Focus on the Crown of Your Head: 
• After you have taken a few deep breaths, focus on the crown of your head as a starting point to begin scanning your body.

• Move Your Attention Down From the Crown Slowly to Your Forehead: 
• From the crown of your head, move your attention down to your forehead and sense if you feel tension in your forehead.  

• We tend to hold a lot of tension in the muscles of our forehead, especially when we're stressed or anxious.  

• If you sense the muscles in your forehead are tense, imagine that you could send your breath to your forehead to allow those muscles to relax. 

• Continue to do that until you feel those muscles relax.

• Move Your Attention to Your Eyes: 
• After the muscles in your forehead feel relaxed, move your attention to your eyes. We tend to hold a lot of tension in the muscles of the eyes without even realizing it because while we're awake, we're using our eyes all the time.  

• When you're under stress or looking at the computer, your eyes tend to be in a fixed position that can cause eyestrain and fatigue.  

• Even though your eyes are closed, you can sense if you're holding tension in your eye muscles. 

• Allow your eyes to relax and let them "drop" down in the direction of your lower eyelid.  

• Allow the muscles around your eyes to relax.  If you're having a problem getting your eye muscles to relax, imagine that you can send your breath to your eyes so they can relax.

• Move Your Attention to Your Nose and Checks: 
• After your eyes relax, sense into your nose and check muscles, and follow the same steps as you've used above, including imagining using your breath to get those muscles to relax.

• Move Your Attention to the Temples on the Sides of Your Head:
• Become aware of any tension that you're holding onto in your temples.

• Imagine sending your breath to your temples to relax them.

• Move Your Attention to Your Mouth: 
• Follow the same procedure as above. Notice any tension around the muscles in your mouth and allow those muscles to relax. Use your imagination to send your breath to get your mouth muscles to relax.

• Move Your Attention to Your Tongue: 
• The tongue holds a lot of tension.  Allow your tongue to relax at the bottom of your mouth.

• Move Your Attention to Your Jaw: 
• Allow your jaw to relax and follow the same procedures as above with imagining sending your breath to your jaw muscles to allow them to relax.

• Move Your Attention to Your Whole Face: 
• See if there's any remaining tension in general left in your facial muscles.  

• To help reduce that tension, scrunch up your face as tight as you can for about 20 seconds and then let go and feel the tension reduce.

• Continue Moving Down Your Body: 
• Your throat, chest, abdominal muscles and use the same techniques as above.

• Move Your Attention to the Back of Your Neck and Shoulders: 
• Imagine that any tension in your neck and shoulders just slides off your shoulders, down your arms and out through your fingers.

• Move Your Attention to Your Legs: 
• Imagine that any tension in your legs just slides down your legs and out through your toes.

• Move Your Attention to Your Shoulder Blades: 
• Focus on your shoulder blades and notice if there is tension there. Imagine that there's a curtain rod across your back that opens up, and as it opens up, feel your shoulder blades opening up and relaxing.

• Move Your Attention to Your Spine: 
• Notice if you're holding attention in your spine including the upper, middle and lower level.

• Imagine that your spine can float in the air and relax.

• Move Your Attention to Your Hips:
• We tend to hold a lot of tension and emotion in the hips.  Send your breath to your hips and imagine that your breath can dissolve that tension. 

• Sense into Your Body and See If There's Any Remaining Tension: 
• Even after you go through scanning the body parts mentioned above, you might still be holding onto tension somewhere in your body.  

• Just sense into your body from top to bottom slowly and pay particular attention to any areas where you still feel tension. 

• Use the same techniques used above, including imagining sending your breath to these areas to help them relax.

• Bring Yourself Back to the Here and Now: 
• After you've gone through all the areas in your body, if your eyes were closed, open them.  Whether your eyes were closed or not, orient yourself to the room where you are (look around) and feel your feet on the ground so you feel grounded.

• If you still don't feel like you're back, get up, walk around, drink a glass of water or do whatever helps you to feel yourself back in the present moment.

You Can Do the Body Scan Meditation to Sense and Reduce Stress Whenever You Need to Do It

You can use the body scan and breathing exercise whenever you want and as often as you need it to reduce your stress.

Getting Help in Therapy
If you continue to feel overwhelmed even after your do the body scan meditation and breathing exercise, you could benefit from working with a licensed psychotherapist.

An experienced therapist can help you to work through the stress and anxiety that you're unable to overcome on your own.

Rather than suffering on your own, get help from a mental health professional.

About Me
I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT (for couples) Somatic Experiencing and Sex Therapist (see my article: The Therapeutic Benefits of Integrative Psychotherapy).

I work with individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Tips For Coping With Panic Attacks

In a prior article, What's the Difference Between Fear and Anxiety?,  I discussed the difference between fear and anxiety.  In this article, I'm providing tips for coping with panic attacks.

Tips For Coping With Panic Attacks

What Are Panic Attacks?
A panic attack is usually caused by anxiety. Symptoms usually come on suddenly.  The most common symptoms can include:

• shortness of breath
• muscle spasms
• choking sensation
• nausea
• irregular heartbeat
• dizziness or lightheadedness
• shaking
• sweating
• fatigue
• tingling sensations in hands or feet 
• feelings of foreboding
• fear that you're losing your mind
• fear that you're going to die

Not everyone gets every symptom.

If you're experiencing these symptoms, its important to see your medical doctor to rule out a medical cause.

Panic attacks can be debilitating.  Some people get occasional panic attacks, and others have chronic panic attacks.  I

Tips For Coping With Panic Attacks
If you have occasional panic attacks, relaxation, grounding and breathing exercises can be helpful.  See my articles for tips on how to cope with panic attacks:

Journal Writing to Relieve Stress and Anxiety
Learning to Stay Calm During Stressful Times
Finding Inner Peace During Uncertain Times
Self Care: Feeling Entitled to Take Care of Yourself
The Mind-Body Connection: Mindfulness Meditation
Self Reflection and Basic Mindfulness
Research Shows That Meditation Can Change Your Brain
Learning to Relax: Square Breathing
Staying Calm When You're in the Middle of Chaos
Finding Moments of Peace During Stressful Times
Self Soothing Techniques to Use When You're Feeling Distressed
Learning to Relax: Going on an Internal Retreat
Discovering the Quiet Place Within Yourself

Panic Attacks Can Get Worse If Untreated
People who have panic attacks often become afraid of when they will have the next panic attack.  For many people, this causes them to avoid certain activities, including going outside.

This avoidance causes its own problems.  For instance, panic attacks can include agoraphobia, a fear and avoidance of being out in public.  If someone develops panic attacks with agoraphobia, this is an obvious hindrance to maintaining a job and a social life.

If you have panic attacks, you could benefit from seeing a licensed mental health professional who has experience helping clients with panic attacks and other related problems with anxiety.

Getting Help in Therapy to Overcome Panic Attacks
For many people panic attacks get worse over time without treatment, so it's important to get help sooner rather than later (see my article: How to Choose a Psychotherapist).

A skilled psychotherapist can help you to overcome the debilitating effects of panic attacks, so you can live your life with a sense of well-being.

About Me
I am a licensed NYC psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR and Somatic Experiencing therapist who works collaboratively with clients and uses Integrative Psychotherapy to develop the best treatment plan for each client (see my article: The Therapeutic Benefits of Integrative Psychotherapy).

I work with individual adults and couples.

I have helped many clients to overcome panic attacks.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Finding Moments of Peace During Stressful Times

When you're under a lot of stress, it's easy to forget that you can often find moments of peace. Taking a few moments to yourself to take a deep breath and as you're breathing, letting go of the tension you're feeling inside with each breath that you take, can be such a relief.  

Finding Moments of Peace During Stressful Times

Remembering to Breathe and Let Go
Breathing out the tension doesn't get rid of the problem, but it can allow you to decompress, if only for a short time.  By decompressing, you'll often discover that you can approach your problem with a clear mind.  You might even think more creatively about your problem and approach the problem in a different way than you might have not have before.

Even if your stress is related to a problem that isn't easily solved, it doesn't do you any good to hold on to a lot of extra tension that makes your body feel tight and creates chaos in your mind.

Letting go can seem like the opposite of what you think you should be doing during stressful times.  You might feel that you have to continue to try to continuously hold on, worry, and mull over the problem in every possible way all of the time.

It's understandable that you might feel this way.  But letting go, even momentarily, doesn't stop you from going back to the problem later and working on it.  You don't have to work on it 24/7.  Often, that's counterproductive.

It's easy to forget the simple things you can do to reduce stress because it can feel futile to try to do things that can "only"  help you momentarily.  You can become so fixated on solving the entire problem that you forget it's important to take breaks to have peaceful moments in the midst of a storm.

Square Breathing to Help You to Relax
In a prior blog post, I recommended a particular technique called Square Breathing (see link below).  Square Breathing is a simple technique.  I've worked with many clients who knew nothing about Square Breathing before I taught them how to do it, but who were able to learn it quickly.  It takes very little time, and it can relax you physically, mentally and emotionally.

Creating an Increasing Sense of Inner Peace
As you create each moment of peace for yourself, you might find that you're better able to cope with whatever stressful situation that you're facing.

You might find that these moments of peace, which you create for yourself, can give you a greater sense inner confidence to deal with the stressful situation.  And, since stress is a normal part of life, developing better ways to cope and a stronger sense of self confidence can be an important gif t that you give yourself.

About Me
I am a licensed NYC psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR and Somatic Experiencing therapist.  I work with individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website:  Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Learning to Relax By Practicing Square Breathing

Self Soothing Techniques to Cope With Stress

As I've mentioned in prior blog posts, usually when clients begin psychotherapy with me, I like to know what emotional resources they already have before we begin trauma work.  I also like to know how resilient they are already or if they need help to develop resilience.  

Self Soothing Techniques to Cope With Stress 

If they have little in the way of internal and external resources, I usually teach them ways to take care of themselves between sessions, including meditation, certain self help EMDR therapy techniques, and using pleasant memories and images of relaxing places to help them relieve unpleasant emotional and physical activation between sessions.

I'm also continually amazed at what clients already know on an intuitive level with regard to self care. They might not even realize that what they're doing is calming themselves because they do it so  automatically with little or no awareness.

For instance, some clients know instinctively to put their hands over their hearts or their stomachs as a way to sooth themselves.  

When they're doing this, they often don't realize that they've touched themselves to soothe themselves.  

But, sitting across from them, I can see that, after they've made this gesture, their faces look calmer, their breathing is easier, there's more color in their faces, and they appear more present in the room.

When I point this out to clients and ask them to verbalize how they experience these gestures, they usually say that they're surprised that they're feeling better.  

Often, these gestures seem so basic, but they can be powerful in terms of transforming how they feel physically and emotionally.  

By verbalizing the experience, clients learn what's useful and it can become an emotional resource that they can use in the future.  Also, the act of verbalizing it helps the client to integrate the experience on both a physical and emotional level.

Other simple movements that can be soothing emotionally and physically include:  moving your neck (looking from side to side to help alleviate muscle tension in the neck and a feeling of emotional constriction); pressing your feet on the floor to feel more grounded; feeling the back of the chair against your back and how supportive this feels; and feeling how the weight of your body is supported by the chair you're sitting in.

Dance therapists know that movement can be very healing.  In order to use movement as a self soothing technique, you don't have to be a dancer or go to a dance therapist.  Very simple movements can shift how you feel.  

For instance, if you're feeling emotionally and physically constricted in your chest, you might try slowly and gently moving your arms out to your side and then raising your arms up along the sides of your ears (keeping your shoulders down).  

If you've ever done the Sun Salutation in yoga, you'll recognize this simple movement.  Most people find that moving your arms in this way helps to open up their chest, giving some relief on both a physical and emotional level.

Likewise, loosening up the joints, where a lot of tension is often stored, can help to release the tension.  Both yoga instructors and Reiki practitioners know we often hold a lot of emotion in our joints and simple, very gentle movements can be so beneficial.

The simple act of exhaling can also release stress and agitation.  Most of us will let out large sighs, sometimes without even realizing it, when we're experiencing stress or agitation.  The exhalation is a form of emotional and physical discharge.

In a prior blog post, I discussed Square Breathing as another form of self soothing that people can use when they're anxious or having a panic attack (see my article: Learning to Relax With Square Breathing).

We all need supportive people in our lives for our well-being, especially during distressing times.  

But knowing that there are self soothing techniques that we can use when other people might not be around is, in itself, empowering because we know that we can take care of ourselves. 

And self care is an important part of maintaining our well-being.

About Me

I am a licensed NYC psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR and Somatic Experiencing therapist.  

I work with individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website:  Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up  consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Being in the Present Moment

Most of us tend to lead such busy lives that we're either focused on the past or projecting our thoughts into the future, often losing sight of the present moment. When our focus is either primarily on the past or in the future, so much of what is going on in the present can pass us by. This often robs our lives of meaning and can lead to unnecessary worry and rumination.

Being in the Present Moment

How Can We Learn to be in the Present Moment?
For many people, learning to be in the present moment can be a challenge. Unfortunately, most of us are not taught this skill as children, especially if we're raised in a household that is very goal oriented. When the focus is almost exclusively goal oriented, the emphasis tends to be on "the next thing" rather than on the present.

While there are certainly advantages to having goals in term of giving our lives direction, if we only focus on goals, we're often robbed of what's meaningful and rich in the present moment. Conversely, if our focus is primarily on the past, beyond learning from our experiences and understanding how we arrived at our current circumstances, we can get stuck and paralyzed looking backwards.

Start with Small Steps
When we're learning to make fundamental changes, we can start by taking small steps. So, this might mean taking breaks in the middle of our day, finding a quiet and private moment, closing our eyes and focusing on our breath. You don't need to know how to do any special breathing exercises. Just the act of focusing on your breath can slow down your heart rate and help you to relax.

While you're focusing on your breath, you can notice the quality of the air coming through your nostrils, whether the air feels cool or warm, dry or moist, how it feels as you take air into your lungs and feel your lungs expanding. Then, as you exhale, feeling all the stress and strain of the day leaving your body. Breathe normally and focus on whatever sensations you feel in your body.

In this way, you develop a mindful approach towards de-stressing and learning to be in the present moment. This might only take a few minutes, if that's all the time that you have or, if you can do this in a more leisurely manner, you might take more time.

Usually, you're likely to find that just the act of noticing your breath can be relaxing and refreshing. The challenging part is remembering to do it so you can do it on a regular basis.

Attending a yoga class, if you're able, can also be a wonderful way to be in the moment. As your yoga teacher gives you instructions about the poses, you're very focused on following his or her instructions, including the precise placement of your body in the pose. Usually, whatever you might have been worrying about before yoga class no longer preoccupies your mind because you're very focused on the yoga poses and the coordinated breathing that goes with the pose. Afterwards, most people feel relaxed and have an overall sense of well being.

If you think you might like to learn to meditate and you're new to meditation, you can get CDs that appeal to you with guided meditations. You might find that you have "monkey mind," a tendency for your thoughts to wander from one topic to the next, similar to a monkey jumping from one tree top branch to the next. But that's okay. As each thought comes into your mind, you can notice it and just let it go, like clouds that are passing in the sky.

Getting out into nature and really noticing the sights, sounds, and scents around you can also be a wonderful way to be in the present moment. This doesn't require any special skills. You just need to be present and take in what's around you.

People who know how to be in the present moment usually discover that when they return to whatever task or issue that they were concerned about before, they come back to it refreshed and much more creative than if they just continued to plod on.

As a psychotherapist in NYC, I encourage my clients to develop both internal and external resources, including being able to visualize in their mind's eye a safe or relaxing place. If they can't visualize a safe or relaxing place, I encourage them to think about a person, pet, symbol, spiritual being (if this has meaning for them) that gives them comfort and use that in their visualization.

Each of us can learn to develop our own preferred way to be in the present moment and, in doing so, discover a sense of contentment and gratitude.

About Me
I am a licensed NYC psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR and Somatic Experiencing therapist.

I work with individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me,

Stressful Workplace? Remember to Breathe

In a prior blog post, I discussed the boss who is a bully in the workplace (Are You a Bully at Work?).  I'd like to focus today on stress management in a stressful work environment. 

Aside from bullying bosses, there are many other potential stressors that can be detrimental to your health, well being, and your relationships with your loved ones. Knowing what works for you with regard to destressing is crucial when you work in a stressful work environment.

Stressful Workplace? Remember to Breathe

Stress at Work

For many people who are fortunate enough to have a job in this long recession, the fear of losing one's job is never far away. Even if you work in the most ideal work environment with the most supportive boss and congenial coworkers, given the economy, the potential for losing your job is a common workplace stressor.

I've often heard people these days talk about being extra cautious about taking off sick days. Other people become anxious, when they go on vacation, about what might go wrong with their projects while they're away.

Some people have even shortened their vacations because they're too anxious to stay away from the workplace for any length of time. When we look at this in a calmer, more rational way, we can see this is counterproductive. But for someone who fears that something bad could come up while he or she is away, this is a very real dilemma. So, given our current economic times, you can be under a lot of stress even in the most even the ideal workplace setting.

But most people aren't working in ideal workplace settings. They're dealing with difficult or bullying bosses or uncooperative coworkers and a myriad of other workplace stressors. So, no matter what type of workplace you go to every workday, it's essential that you have a stress management regime that works for you. Finding out what works best for you might take some exploration, trial and error, and an openness to trying new things.

Square Breathing to De-stress at Work

One simple thing that anyone can do is to remember to breathe. I know that, on the face of it, this might sound odd. After all, we all have to breathe in order to survive. But many people, without realizing it, hold their breathe for periods of time or they breathe in a way that's so shallow that they're not getting enough oxygen into their systems. Poor breathing habits can cause panic attacks. A steady flow of breathing can help you to discharge stressful energy.

Stressful Workplace? Remember to Breathe

I often recommend to clients that they practice rhythmic breathing where they breathe in to the count of 4, hold for 4, breathe out for 4, and then hold out to the count of 4, and then repeat the cycle of a few more times. This is called Square Breathing. The count doesn't so much matter--you can do it to the count of 5 or 6 or whatever feels comfortable that's more than 4. The important thing is to do all breathing in, out, and holding to the same count.

People are often amazed at how calming this can be. And, it's relatively easy so most people can do it fairly easily.

Developing your own ways to destress in a stressful workplace is essential. Square Breathing is one technique that can help.

About Me

I am a licensed NYC psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, Somatic Experiencing and EMDR therapist.  I work with individuals and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website:  Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Also see my blog post:  An Internal Retreat 

Learning to Relax: Going on an Internal Retreat

Learning to Relax:  Going on an Internal Retreat

Taking time to yourself to relax is an important part of self care, especially for people who spend most of their time taking care of others.  Generally, when we think of retreats, we think of going away somewhere to get away from everything.  

Places like Omega in Rhinebeck, NY or Kripalu in Lenox, MA offer retreats for people who want to relax and get away from it all for a day, a weekend or longer.   

But there are times when we can't get a way to a spa or a weekend retreat.  So, can we get some of the benefits of going on a retreat without actually going anywhere?

What is a "retreat"?
Let's first look at the definition of the word "retreat."

Here are some common definitions:

     "a place of privacy; a place affording peace and quiet"

     "move away, as for privacy"

     "hideaway: an area where you can be alone"


Going on an Internal Retreat

An Internal Retreat:  Relaxation, Peace, Calm

Notice that in these particular definitions above it says nothing about having to book a spa weekend or a yoga or spiritual retreat. The emphasis is on moving away and finding privacy to find peace and quiet.

So while a retreat can be an external place, more importantly, it's a calm internal place that you go to in your mind when you have quiet and privacy to enter into that part of your internal world.

It's so important to your personal well being to have a time and place where you can retreat into your internal world and relax for at least a few minutes. Most people know this, but it's so easy forget.

Internal Retreat:  Taking a Few Minutes to Yourself to Relax

When you have privacy and some quiet time, an internal retreat can be as little as 5 or 10 minutes of just focusing on your breathing. Often, it's a matter of developing this habit and making it a regular part of your normal day. The benefits to your overall health and well being can be tremendous.

We can learn a lot from our pets, who know how to relax at just about any time and place.

Our Pets Can Teach Us a Lot About How to Relax

If you do get a chance to go out into nature, even if it's just for a short time, you can feel refreshed and rejuvenated.

About Me
I am a licensed NYC psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR and Somatic Experiencing therapist.   I work with individual adults and couples.  

I help clients in my psychotherapy practice to learn self care and how to relax in their everyday lives.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Also, see my articles on Mindfulness Meditation and Solitude vs Loneliness.


Photo Credits:  Photo Pin

Learning to Relax: Square Breathing

For many people learning to relax can be a real challenge. If they have very busy personal and work-related lives, they might not even realize just how overwhelmed with stress they are because feeling this way has become a "normal" way of life.

Learning to Relax: Square Breathing

When I talk to people about de-stressing, some of them tell me that they don't have time to go to the gym or to yoga class. Some of them say they don't even have time to go for a short, brisk walk to de-stress. When clients in my psychotherapy private practice tell me this, I tell them about a simple technique that helps most people to calm down relatively quickly, even when they feel overwhelmed with anxiety. This simple technique is called Square Breathing.

What is Square Breathing?
Square Breathing is a technique that people often learn in meditation or yoga class or when they come to see a mind-body oriented psychotherapist. When clients who are anxious come to my psychotherapy private practice in NYC, I often teach them to do Square Breathing:

Breathe in slowly to the count of four. Feel your lungs filling up with air.

Hold your breath to the count of four.

Breathe out slowly to the count of four. Feel your lungs emptying.

Hold your exhalation to the count of four

Repeat until you feel calmer.

Even though it's such a simple technique, Square Breathing helps most people to calm down and feel better. And you don't need to go to the gym or to a class to do it. You just have to remember to have the presence of mind to do Square Breathing when you feel anxious.

In order to cultivate that presence of mind, it's best to practice doing Square Breathing even when you're not feeling anxious or overwhelmed so that you'll be familiar with this technique and can use it when you need it without having to think too much about how to do.

About Me

I am a licensed NYC psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR and Somatic Experiencing therapist.  

I work with individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist

To set up an appointment for a consultation, you can call me at (917) 742-2624 or email me.

The Benefits of Meditation

I usually recommend meditation to my psychotherapy clients. If they don't already have a regular meditation practice, I go over basic meditation techniques and suggest that they start by meditating for 10-15 mins. each day and then, if they wish, they can expand the practice over time.

The Benefits of Meditation

There Are Many Ways to Meditate

For the most basic form of meditation, you can begin by closing your eyes and focusing on your breath (always practice when you are in a quiet, safe place and never when you are driving or engaging in activities where you need to be alert). Just notice the quality of the air as you breathe in and out through your nose. Take a few relaxing breaths.

Breathing
Most of us breathe in a way that is too shallow so, when you breathe in, take the time to feel your stomach muscles expand. When you breathe, out feel all the air leaving your body. You can put your hand over your stomach to help you become aware of breathing in more deeply and out completely.

Then, turn your attention inward and notice where you are holding onto any tension in your body. Then, picture yourself sending your breath to that area and feeling the tension melting away.

After a few minutes, most likely, you' ll feel more relaxed. If not, don't worry. Usually, with practice, you'll improve your meditative skill. When you open your eyes, you can wiggle your fingers and toes and focus on your surroundings so that you feel like you are alert and fully present in your environment.

People often ask me questions about when is the best time to meditate. I think the best time is when it is right for you, a time when you're in a place where you have privacy and there's less of a chance of having distractions. 

 Ideally, either the beginning or end of your day is a good time to meditate. When you start your day by meditating, it usually sets a positive tone for the rest of day. 

 Meditating at the end of the day can be very relaxing. If you meditate at night, I recommend that you don't do it while in bed because if you do, your mind will associate meditation with sleep, and that's not what it's about (although, meditating at night can help you sleep).

When you begin meditation, don't worry if you feel distracted or your internal "chatter" gets in the way. Usually, with practice, you're able to meditate with more ease and learn how to let go of these internal distractions.

I'll explore meditation practice more in future posts.

In the meantime, enjoy your meditation practice.

About Me
I am a licensed New York City psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR and Somatic Experiencing therapist. 

I work with individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up an appointment, feel free to call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Also see my article:  Safe Place Meditation