How Mindfulness and Self Compassion Can Help With Body Acceptance

I began a discussion about the challenges of having a negative body image in a prior article (see my article: Is a Negative Body Image Ruining Your Sex Life?). 

In the current article I'm focusing on how mindfulness and self compassion can help with body acceptance.

Mindfulness and Self Compassion Help With Body Acceptance

How Western Culture Perpetuates Women's Body Shame

Women are bombarded with messages on social media, TV, the movies and magazines about how their bodies should look.  

When women feel their bodies don't conform to these images, they feel ashamed of their bodies. This also affects sense of self worth and how they interact in relationships. 

Helpful Tips:

The following tips can be helpful in the process of going from a negative body image to body acceptance:

• Stop Comparing Yourself to Other Women Who Have "Perfect" Bodies: Obviously, there's no such thing as a "perfect" body.  But you might have an ideal image you're comparing yourself to when you look at other people.  Instead of comparing your body to the bodies you see at the gym, on social media or in other places, find aspects of your body that you like.  Western culture gives subtle and not so subtle messages that women should compare themselves unfavorably to other women.  This is a form of misogynistic manipulation that keeps women competing instead of supporting each other.

• Become Aware of Who Cashes In ($$$) On Your Negative Body Image: Fatphobia,  the stigmatization of weight gain and the idealization of thinness keep women feeling insecure about their bodies and makes them easy marketing targets in a capitalistic society. Ask yourself who benefits from your negative beliefs about your body.  There are plenty of industries, including the fitness and diet industries, that cash in on women feeling ashamed of their bodies. They often foster unrealistic expectations to keep women feeling insecure and willing to buy their products and services in an effort to have the "ideal body."

• Become Aware of the Intergenerational Impact of a Negative Body Image:  The messages about body image are so pervasive that it's difficult not to internalize them. Once you have accepted these negative messages that your body should look a certain way, these beliefs perpetuate themselves and become an intergenerational problem where mothers can unconsciously pass them on to their daughters. As a result, that the trauma continues from one generation to the next. Make a commitment to let is stop with you.

• Find Ways to Enjoy and Appreciate Your Body As It Is: If you look at yourself in the mirror, can you find at least one thing that you like about yourself? Find inspiration by focusing on the things your body can do instead of how your body looks.  Even if you are differently abled or have certain limitations, you can find ways to appreciate your body as it is.  For instance, learn to appreciate that your body is able to pump thousands of barrels of blood throughout your lifetime.  Similarly, think about how amazing it is that body has millions of cells interacting with each other everyday to keep you healthy.

• Be As Compassionate to Yourself As You Would Be to a Close Friend: Practice being kind and compassionate to yourself in the same way you would be to a close friend. Show particular kindness to the parts of your body that you don't like. For instance, if you don't like your abdomen, be kind to it by giving it a gentle massage with your favorite lotion after a shower.  In this way you can tend and befriend your body just the way it is right now.

How Mindfulness Can Help With Body Acceptance: If you want to overcome a negative body image, you can learn to use mindfulness to become more aware of how you're continuing to give yourself negative messages and learn to let go of these thoughts.

Mindfulness and Self Compassion Help With Body Acceptance

Mindfulness is a state of awareness you can use so you can become aware of the negative messages you give to yourself about your body. 

To begin your mindfulness practice:

• Get into a relaxed state in a private quiet place by slowing down your breathing (see my article: How to Practice Square Breathing).

• Become aware of the thoughts going through your mind and whenever you have a negative thought about your body (or anything else about yourself), imagine you're putting each negative thought on a cloud and watching it float away.

• Don't criticize yourself for having negative thoughts about your body.  Instead, be compassionate and gently let each thought go.

Body Acceptance is a Process

Body acceptance probably won't help overnight, but if you keep practicing mindfulness and self compassion, you can begin to let go of the negative messages you give yourself and learn to accept and appreciate your body as it is.

Body Acceptance is a Process

This article focused on women.  However, many men also suffer from body image problems and the tips offered in this article can be helpful to them too.

About Me

I am a licensed New York City psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT, Somatic Experiencing and Sex Therapist.

I work with individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

What's the Difference Between Fear and Anxiety?

The words "fear" and "anxiety" are often used interchangeably.  While fear and anxiety often occur together, they're not the same.

What's the Difference Between Fear and Anxiety?
While fear is an emotional response to a known threat, anxiety is more of a vague feeling of apprehension.  Anxiety can also be a response to an unknown threat.  

For instance, with regard to fear, if someone approaches you in an aggressive and menacing way, your response will be one of fear.  This person is a specific, real, present and immediate possible danger.

What is the Difference Between Fear and Anxiety?

Anxiety is often about an anticipated event.  

For instance, if you're afraid of flying and you have an upcoming flight, you will probably feel anxious about the upcoming flight.  When you're on the plane, you will experience fear because it's happening in the here and now.

The distinctions between fear and anxiety might be subtle, but it will help you to be able t distinguish the difference.

Symptoms of Anxiety:
Anxiety can cause some or all of the following symptoms:

• muscle pain and tension
• headaches
• insomnia
• chest pain
• excessive sweating
• shaking and trembling
• racing heart
• upset stomach
• irritable bowel syndrome (IBS)
• panic
• dizziness
• feeling faint

Fear can cause anxiety and vice versa.

Fear and Anxiety Produce a Stress Response
Both fear and anxiety produce the fight or flight response.  The reason this is an important automatic response is because if you were in real danger, this response would help you to survive.

For instance, if you were on a path and you saw a snake, your automatic response would be to jump away before you even thought about it.  In times of danger, you don't want to stop to think--you need to react quickly to protect yourself.  Even a microsecond can make a difference in a dangerous situation.

On the other hand, if, after you had the flight response, you realized that what you thought was a snake was actually a stick, your body would start to calm down because you no longer need to flee.

There is also the freeze response which occurs when you can neither fight nor flee (see my article: Overcoming the Freeze Response).

Self Help Tips For Coping With Fear and Anxiety
There are certain things that you can do to overcome fear and anxiety.  See my articles:

Journal Writing to Relieve Stress and Anxiety
Learning to Stay Calm During Stressful Times
Finding Inner Peace During Uncertain Times
Self Care: Feeling Entitled to Take Care of Yourself
The Mind-Body Connection: Mindfulness Meditation
Self Reflection and Basic Mindfulness
Research Shows That Meditation Can Change Your Brain
Learning to Relax: Square Breathing
Staying Calm When You're in the Middle of Chaos
Finding Moments of Peace During Stressful Times
Self Soothing Techniques to Use When You're Feeling Distressed
Learning to Relax: Going on an Internal Retreat
Discovering the Quiet Place Within Yourself

Getting Help in Therapy
If you're suffering with chronic fear or anxiety, you could benefit from getting help from a licensed mental health professional, who has experience helping clients to overcome fear and anxiety (see my articles: Psychotherapy For Anxiety Disorders and How to Choose a Psychotherapist).

Rather than struggling on your own, you could learn how to overcome your fear or anxiety, so you could lead a calmer, more peaceful life with a sense of well-being.

If your fear and anxiety is related to unresolved trauma, you could benefit from working with a psychotherapist who specializes in treating trauma.

A trauma therapist is a licensed psychotherapist who is specialist trained specifically in helping clients to overcome both trauma related to one-time events as well as developmental trauma, which is repeated trauma and loss from childhood. 

About Me
I am a licensed NYC psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT for couples,  Somatic Experiencing and Sex Therapist (see my article:  The Therapeutic Benefits of Integrative Psychotherapy).

I have helped many clients to overcome their fear and anxiety (see my article: What is a Trauma Therapist?).

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Developing Skills to Manage Your Emotions

In my last article, How to Manage Your Emotions Without Suppressing Them, I described the difference between managing emotions (also known as emotional regulation) and suppressing emotions.  The current article discusses skills that can help you to manage your emotions.  

Developing Skills to Manage Your Emotions

Developing Skills to Manage Your Emotions

As I mentioned in my prior article, if you never learned how to regulate your emotions, you can learn emotional regulation skills with practice and patience.

The following skills can help you to self regulate your emotions:

• Practice Pausing and Taking a Breath: Emotions can come up in a fraction of a second. You don't choose your emotions, but you can learn to choose how you respond to them.  Practice taking a pause and taking a breath before you react.  This will give you time to consider how to respond instead of react (see my article: Learning to Relax: Square Breathing).

Developing Skills to Manage Your Emotions

• Practice Noticing What You're Feeling in Your Body: Emotions occur in the body.  Even when you can't identify what emotions you're experiencing at first, you can notice what's happening in your body: 

• Is your jaw tight? Are your hands clinched? 
• This could mean you're feeling angry. 

• Do you feel a tightness and a welling up in your throat? 
• Maybe you're feeling sad.

• Practice Staying With the Sensations in Your Body and See If You Can Identify Your Emotions:  If you slow down, be patient and stay with the physical sensations in your body, you can identify the emotions you're experiencing with practice.  This often takes time if you tend to be unaware of what emotions you're feeling (see my article: The Mind-Body Connection: The Body Offers a Window Into the Unconscious Mind).

• Acknowledge Your Emotions: Whatever emotions you're experiencing, acknowledge them. By acknowledging them, it doesn't mean you like them or you want to feel this way. It just means that you are aware that this is what you're feeling in the moment (see my article: Learning to Experience Your Emotions).

• Make a Choice About How to Respond: Unlike reacting to emotions without thinking, when you respond, you're actively choosing what you want to do.  This might not happen immediately, especially if the emotions are strong.  You might need to pause and take several breaths until you feel calm enough to respond.  So, you might choose to wait until you're calmer before you respond (see my article: Responding Instead of Reacting).  

Next Article:

In my next article, I'll discuss how Experiential Therapy can help you to manage your emotions.

About Me

I am a licensed New York City psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT, Somatic Experiencing and Sex Therapist.

I work with individual adults and couples, and I have helped many clients to learn emotional regulation skills (see my article: What is a Trauma Therapist?)

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Staying Calm When You're in the Middle of Chaos

"You are the sky.  Everything else--it's just the weather:" Pema Chodron

Staying Calm When You're in the Middle of Chaos

The ability to stay calm during chaotic times is a natural ability for some people who seem to be able to stay focused and centered despite the chaos that is going on around them.

For other people, it's a matter of developing and practicing this skill.

Staying Calm When You're in the Middle of Chaos

The good news is that this skill can be learned by most people, and practicing can increase your ability to use this skill.

Ideally, the best time to learn to develop the ability to stay calm during stressful times is when things are relatively calm in your life.

But it doesn't always happen that way, so here are some tips for how to stay calm during chaotic or stressful times:

Tips for Staying Calm During Chaos

• Remember to Breathe:  This might sound strange, but it's often the case that when we're under stress or pressure, our breathing becomes shallow, and some people don't realize that they've stopped breathing for seconds at a time.  Also, breathing in a shallow way can make you more anxious.  So, remembering to take a couple of deep breaths can be very helpful (also see my article:  Learning to Relax: Square Breathing).

• Take Breaks:  Often when we're going through chaotic or stressful times, we think that it's better to keep going nonstop. But making yourself exhausted will only add to your stress.  If you're not in a situation that's an emergency that requires immediate action (like leaving a burning building), it's important to take breaks--even if the breaks are 5 or 10 minutes.  Taking time to regroup can help you to approach the situation feeling refreshed.

• Stop and Think:  Rather than leaping into action impulsively and working yourself and others into a panic, stop and think, even if it's for a moment, about what's needed in this situation.  Certain situations require immediate action, but many situations would be better handled by reflecting first on what's needed before taking action hastily.  

• Recognize What You Can and Can't Control:  This isn't always easy to see.  But when it's clear that there are elements of the situation that are beyond your control, don't waste your time and effort on things that you can't change.  Try to solve what you can as efficiently and effectively as you can, and leave the bigger issues to those who are equipped and responsible for handling them.

• Maintain a Balanced Perspective:  This suggestion goes along with Stop and Think.  During a chaotic situation, it's easy to lose perspective and panic.  Many people, who lose their perspective, end up making the wrong decisions and that makes the situation worse.  By keeping your perspective and asking yourself how you (and those close to you) are directly affected by the situation, you can approach the problem with a clear mind and make better decisions.

• Maintain Your Healthy Routines:  Some people become so consumed with problem solving or "putting out fires" during chaotic times that they abandon the healthy routines that help them to cope.  Although you might need to modify your routines during stressful times (depending upon what's going on), you can make your situation even more stressful if you completely abandon the healthy routines that help you on a regular basis, like going to the gym, meditating or whatever you do to maintain a sense of well-being.

• Maintain a Healthy Attitude:  Your perspective about life and situations at hand affect how you think and feel about these situations as well as how you react to them.  It's important to be able to take a step back, even if it's momentarily, to be mindful of how you're responding to the situation that you're dealing with at the time.  If you know yourself well enough to know that you tend to see "the glass as half empty" rather than "half full" most of the time, ask yourself if this attitude is affecting how you're dealing with the problem that you're facing and if you're seeing it in an overly negative way.

• Get Emotional Support: It's important to stay in contact with people who are emotionally supportive.  Even if supportive friends or family aren't directly involved in the situation, just being able to talk it out can help relieve stress and remind you that there are people who care about you.

Getting Help in Therapy
At times, despite your best efforts, if you're overwhelmed, you might need the help of a licensed mental health professional to assist you emotionally.

A skilled therapist can help you not just to manage the chaos that you're in, but s/he can also assist you to develop healthy coping skills that would help you in any difficult situation.

Getting Help in Therapy

An experienced psychotherapist can also help you to see if the current situation is triggering emotions from old unresolved emotional wounds and help you to work through prior trauma.

About Me
I am a licensed NYC psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR and Somatic Experiencing therapist who works with individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website:  Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Also see my article:  The Mind-Body Connection: Mindfulness Meditation

Tips for Overcoming Shyness

Are you uncomfortable about attending social events because of your shyness?  Is the thought of attending an after work activity with your coworkers enough to make you want to hide with the covers over your head?

If you're tend an introvert rather than an extrovert, you don't need to change your whole personality in order to overcome your shyness.

Tips For Overcoming Shyness

The following tips can help you to overcome shyness so that you learn to actually enjoy yourself during social events:

Prepare Before the Social Event
If you fear that you'll have nothing to say or that people won't find you interesting, think about some topics that you might talk about.

If you happen to know that you and other people at the party enjoy yoga, consider this as a topic that you might bring up to get the conversation going.

Allow the Hostess to Introduce You to Like-Minded People
Hostesses (or hosts) who are adept at giving parties know how to introduce certain people that they think might hit it off.

If you have a hostess with good people skills who is aware that certain guests share particular interests, she might introduce you to others by saying something like, "Joe, this is Alice.  I thought you'd like to meet each other because you both share an interest in jazz."

Although this isn't something you can always rely on, when it happens, it can help you to overcome some of the awkwardness you might feel in a social situation.

Learn to Focus on Others, Instead of Yourself, at Social Events
Shy people often feel so self conscious at social events that they're afraid that they'll have nothing interesting to say and no one will want to talk to them.

Being shy and fearing social events can keep shy people locked in a state of self absorption, which only makes matters worse.

Tips for Overcoming Shyness:  Focus on Others at Social Events

Rather than focusing on yourself and all the deficiencies you fear others will find in you, try to forget about yourself and focus on the other people at the party or social event.

Get curious and develop an interest in the other people who are there.

Asking appropriate questions of the strangers that you meet at a party (i.e., how they know the host) can be an ice breaker and give you and others a topic to talk about that could lead to other topics.

Showing an interest in others also allows you to forget about your own feelings of being self conscious.

Be Aware of Your Body Language and the Social Signals That You're Sending Out
Without even realizing, many people who are shy come across as if they're unfriendly, rather than shy, because they're sending out the wrong signal to others at social events.

If you're sitting hunched over in the corner and avoiding eye contact with others, chances are that people will think you're unapproachable rather than thinking that you're shy.

Learn to maintain an open posture and smile.  Not only will this make you appear more approachable, but it might be helpful to others who might also be shy.

Think About How You Can Put Others at Ease
If you can stop focusing on your own shyness, as I mentioned, you might realize that there are other people, besides you, who are also struggling with shyness.

If you can find ways to help put others to feel more at ease, not only will this be helpful to others, but it can also be helpful to you.

One possible way to help yourself and others to be more at ease is to volunteer to help out in some way at the social event.

So, for instance, if you've been invited to a party, you can ask the hostess if you can help to show people around the garden or help with the drinks.

Being involved with a task related to the party can help you to feel like you're more a part of the event.  And, you'll also be adding to other people's comfort and ease.

Learn to Calm Yourself:  Remember to Breathe
When people feel shy or anxious, they often breathe in shallow ways, which only adds to their discomfort.

As simple as it sounds, taking a deep breath can help to calm your body and your mind.

One particular breathing exercise that is particularly helpful is called Square Breathing.
See my article:  Learning to Relax: Square Breathing.

Another exercise you can try before you go to a social event is called Safe Place Meditation.

Getting Help in Therapy
If these simple tips aren't helpful to you and your shyness is really getting in the way of your personal life and your career, you could benefit from working with a licensed mental health professional who has expertise with this issue.  It's possible that your problem isn't just shyness but, possibly, something more deep seated.

People who are able to overcome shyness are relieved to be able to socialize and meet others without feeling hampered by feeling self conscious and socially awkward.  By getting help, you can also learn to overcome your shyness so you can feel more confident in social situations.

About Me

I am a licensed NYC psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR and Somatic Experiencing therapist who works with individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website:  Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Finding Moments of Peace During Stressful Times

When you're under a lot of stress, it's easy to forget that you can often find moments of peace. Taking a few moments to yourself to take a deep breath and as you're breathing, letting go of the tension you're feeling inside with each breath that you take, can be such a relief.  

Finding Moments of Peace During Stressful Times

Remembering to Breathe and Let Go
Breathing out the tension doesn't get rid of the problem, but it can allow you to decompress, if only for a short time.  By decompressing, you'll often discover that you can approach your problem with a clear mind.  You might even think more creatively about your problem and approach the problem in a different way than you might have not have before.

Even if your stress is related to a problem that isn't easily solved, it doesn't do you any good to hold on to a lot of extra tension that makes your body feel tight and creates chaos in your mind.

Letting go can seem like the opposite of what you think you should be doing during stressful times.  You might feel that you have to continue to try to continuously hold on, worry, and mull over the problem in every possible way all of the time.

It's understandable that you might feel this way.  But letting go, even momentarily, doesn't stop you from going back to the problem later and working on it.  You don't have to work on it 24/7.  Often, that's counterproductive.

It's easy to forget the simple things you can do to reduce stress because it can feel futile to try to do things that can "only"  help you momentarily.  You can become so fixated on solving the entire problem that you forget it's important to take breaks to have peaceful moments in the midst of a storm.

Square Breathing to Help You to Relax
In a prior blog post, I recommended a particular technique called Square Breathing (see link below).  Square Breathing is a simple technique.  I've worked with many clients who knew nothing about Square Breathing before I taught them how to do it, but who were able to learn it quickly.  It takes very little time, and it can relax you physically, mentally and emotionally.

Creating an Increasing Sense of Inner Peace
As you create each moment of peace for yourself, you might find that you're better able to cope with whatever stressful situation that you're facing.

You might find that these moments of peace, which you create for yourself, can give you a greater sense inner confidence to deal with the stressful situation.  And, since stress is a normal part of life, developing better ways to cope and a stronger sense of self confidence can be an important gif t that you give yourself.

About Me
I am a licensed NYC psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR and Somatic Experiencing therapist.  I work with individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website:  Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Learning to Relax By Practicing Square Breathing

Self Soothing Techniques to Cope With Stress

As I've mentioned in prior blog posts, usually when clients begin psychotherapy with me, I like to know what emotional resources they already have before we begin trauma work.  I also like to know how resilient they are already or if they need help to develop resilience.  

Self Soothing Techniques to Cope With Stress 

If they have little in the way of internal and external resources, I usually teach them ways to take care of themselves between sessions, including meditation, certain self help EMDR therapy techniques, and using pleasant memories and images of relaxing places to help them relieve unpleasant emotional and physical activation between sessions.

I'm also continually amazed at what clients already know on an intuitive level with regard to self care. They might not even realize that what they're doing is calming themselves because they do it so  automatically with little or no awareness.

For instance, some clients know instinctively to put their hands over their hearts or their stomachs as a way to sooth themselves.  

When they're doing this, they often don't realize that they've touched themselves to soothe themselves.  

But, sitting across from them, I can see that, after they've made this gesture, their faces look calmer, their breathing is easier, there's more color in their faces, and they appear more present in the room.

When I point this out to clients and ask them to verbalize how they experience these gestures, they usually say that they're surprised that they're feeling better.  

Often, these gestures seem so basic, but they can be powerful in terms of transforming how they feel physically and emotionally.  

By verbalizing the experience, clients learn what's useful and it can become an emotional resource that they can use in the future.  Also, the act of verbalizing it helps the client to integrate the experience on both a physical and emotional level.

Other simple movements that can be soothing emotionally and physically include:  moving your neck (looking from side to side to help alleviate muscle tension in the neck and a feeling of emotional constriction); pressing your feet on the floor to feel more grounded; feeling the back of the chair against your back and how supportive this feels; and feeling how the weight of your body is supported by the chair you're sitting in.

Dance therapists know that movement can be very healing.  In order to use movement as a self soothing technique, you don't have to be a dancer or go to a dance therapist.  Very simple movements can shift how you feel.  

For instance, if you're feeling emotionally and physically constricted in your chest, you might try slowly and gently moving your arms out to your side and then raising your arms up along the sides of your ears (keeping your shoulders down).  

If you've ever done the Sun Salutation in yoga, you'll recognize this simple movement.  Most people find that moving your arms in this way helps to open up their chest, giving some relief on both a physical and emotional level.

Likewise, loosening up the joints, where a lot of tension is often stored, can help to release the tension.  Both yoga instructors and Reiki practitioners know we often hold a lot of emotion in our joints and simple, very gentle movements can be so beneficial.

The simple act of exhaling can also release stress and agitation.  Most of us will let out large sighs, sometimes without even realizing it, when we're experiencing stress or agitation.  The exhalation is a form of emotional and physical discharge.

In a prior blog post, I discussed Square Breathing as another form of self soothing that people can use when they're anxious or having a panic attack (see my article: Learning to Relax With Square Breathing).

We all need supportive people in our lives for our well-being, especially during distressing times.  

But knowing that there are self soothing techniques that we can use when other people might not be around is, in itself, empowering because we know that we can take care of ourselves. 

And self care is an important part of maintaining our well-being.

About Me

I am a licensed NYC psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR and Somatic Experiencing therapist.  

I work with individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website:  Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up  consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Stressful Workplace? Remember to Breathe

In a prior blog post, I discussed the boss who is a bully in the workplace (Are You a Bully at Work?).  I'd like to focus today on stress management in a stressful work environment. 

Aside from bullying bosses, there are many other potential stressors that can be detrimental to your health, well being, and your relationships with your loved ones. Knowing what works for you with regard to destressing is crucial when you work in a stressful work environment.

Stressful Workplace? Remember to Breathe

Stress at Work

For many people who are fortunate enough to have a job in this long recession, the fear of losing one's job is never far away. Even if you work in the most ideal work environment with the most supportive boss and congenial coworkers, given the economy, the potential for losing your job is a common workplace stressor.

I've often heard people these days talk about being extra cautious about taking off sick days. Other people become anxious, when they go on vacation, about what might go wrong with their projects while they're away.

Some people have even shortened their vacations because they're too anxious to stay away from the workplace for any length of time. When we look at this in a calmer, more rational way, we can see this is counterproductive. But for someone who fears that something bad could come up while he or she is away, this is a very real dilemma. So, given our current economic times, you can be under a lot of stress even in the most even the ideal workplace setting.

But most people aren't working in ideal workplace settings. They're dealing with difficult or bullying bosses or uncooperative coworkers and a myriad of other workplace stressors. So, no matter what type of workplace you go to every workday, it's essential that you have a stress management regime that works for you. Finding out what works best for you might take some exploration, trial and error, and an openness to trying new things.

Square Breathing to De-stress at Work

One simple thing that anyone can do is to remember to breathe. I know that, on the face of it, this might sound odd. After all, we all have to breathe in order to survive. But many people, without realizing it, hold their breathe for periods of time or they breathe in a way that's so shallow that they're not getting enough oxygen into their systems. Poor breathing habits can cause panic attacks. A steady flow of breathing can help you to discharge stressful energy.

Stressful Workplace? Remember to Breathe

I often recommend to clients that they practice rhythmic breathing where they breathe in to the count of 4, hold for 4, breathe out for 4, and then hold out to the count of 4, and then repeat the cycle of a few more times. This is called Square Breathing. The count doesn't so much matter--you can do it to the count of 5 or 6 or whatever feels comfortable that's more than 4. The important thing is to do all breathing in, out, and holding to the same count.

People are often amazed at how calming this can be. And, it's relatively easy so most people can do it fairly easily.

Developing your own ways to destress in a stressful workplace is essential. Square Breathing is one technique that can help.

About Me

I am a licensed NYC psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, Somatic Experiencing and EMDR therapist.  I work with individuals and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website:  Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Also see my blog post:  An Internal Retreat 

Learning to Relax: Square Breathing

For many people learning to relax can be a real challenge. If they have very busy personal and work-related lives, they might not even realize just how overwhelmed with stress they are because feeling this way has become a "normal" way of life.

Learning to Relax: Square Breathing

When I talk to people about de-stressing, some of them tell me that they don't have time to go to the gym or to yoga class. Some of them say they don't even have time to go for a short, brisk walk to de-stress. When clients in my psychotherapy private practice tell me this, I tell them about a simple technique that helps most people to calm down relatively quickly, even when they feel overwhelmed with anxiety. This simple technique is called Square Breathing.

What is Square Breathing?
Square Breathing is a technique that people often learn in meditation or yoga class or when they come to see a mind-body oriented psychotherapist. When clients who are anxious come to my psychotherapy private practice in NYC, I often teach them to do Square Breathing:

Breathe in slowly to the count of four. Feel your lungs filling up with air.

Hold your breath to the count of four.

Breathe out slowly to the count of four. Feel your lungs emptying.

Hold your exhalation to the count of four

Repeat until you feel calmer.

Even though it's such a simple technique, Square Breathing helps most people to calm down and feel better. And you don't need to go to the gym or to a class to do it. You just have to remember to have the presence of mind to do Square Breathing when you feel anxious.

In order to cultivate that presence of mind, it's best to practice doing Square Breathing even when you're not feeling anxious or overwhelmed so that you'll be familiar with this technique and can use it when you need it without having to think too much about how to do.

About Me

I am a licensed NYC psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR and Somatic Experiencing therapist.  

I work with individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist

To set up an appointment for a consultation, you can call me at (917) 742-2624 or email me.