How Do IFS Parts Work Therapists Use Clinical Intuition?

IFS stands for Internal Family Systems and was developed by Richard Schwartz, PhD, in the1980s (see my article: What is the IFS Therapy Step-By-Step Process?)

How Do IFS Therapists Use Clinical Intuition

IFS therapy is a IFS is a Gentle Evidence-Based Therapy that is called a parts work therapy. There were prior parts work therapies including Ego States Therapy, which was developed by John and Helen Watkins in the 1960s (see my article: How Can Parts Work Therapy, Like IFS and Ego States Therapy, Help You to Be More Creative?).

IFS is one of many types of Experiential Therapy (see my article: Why is Experiential Therapy More Effective Than Traditional Talk Therapy?

I did my original training in Ego States Therapy while learning Clinical Hypnosis in 2012--just before I trained in Somatic Experiencing.

How Do IFS Therapists Use Clinical Intuition?

Most Experiential Therapies use clinical intuition, but each use it in a different way (see my article: What Role Does Clinical Intuition Play in Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy (AEDP)?).

How Do IFS Therapists Use Clinical Intuition

To understand IFS therapy, you need to understand that we are all made of a multiplicity of internal parts. Some professionals use the term "self states" instead of "parts", but it means the same thing (see my article: Embracing Your Many Self States).

Clinical intuition in IFS therapy is the IFS therapist's ability to sense, track and resonate with the client's internal system of parts without relying only on the client's explicit verbal information.

In IFS therapy and other types of Experiential therapies, intuition isn't a mystical or magical superpower. Instead, it is the direct byproduct of an IFS therapist, who has in depth training in IFS, using their Core Self presence (see my article: Discovering Your Core Self in IFS Therapy?

Operating from their Core Self, IFS therapists pick up on the client's somatic shifts, unexpressed and unconscious protective survival strategies and the subtle energy of the wounded parts of the client.

When an IFS therapist has done their own psychological work in therapy, their clinical intuition becomes a highly valuable tool for navigating their clients' complex internal systems.

They do this by:

• Detecting the Client's Hidden Internal Protector Parts: Intuition alerts the IFS therapist when a client says they're "fine" but, in reality, the client has internal protector parts that are trying to protect clients' by blocking access to the more wounded parts of the client to ensure safety. The term "protector parts" is another way of saying defense mechanisms, which is a term used in psychoanalysis and psychodynamic therapy.

• Sensing Their Own Internal Somatic Sensations: The IFS therapist is trained to detect their own embodied experience, also called the felt sense. This might include a tightening in their chest or a noticeable shift in their own breathing. This usually mirrors the client's experience that is unconscious, so the client hasn't noticed it yet.

• Tracking Backlash: Clinical intuition helps the IFS therapist to foresee when she might move too quickly and an internal emotionally wounded part gets triggered if she doesn't follow the step-by-step IFS process.

• Recognizing a Sudden Urge to "Fix" the Client: A sudden urge to "fix" the client or push for a psychological breakthrough is an intuitive signal from the IFS therapist's inner world. Since this could trigger a backlash, the IFS therapist is trained to observe this urge within herself and refocus on her Core Self to work within the client's window of tolerance.

Balancing Clinical Intuition With IFS Therapy's Step-By-Step Process

While intuition can guide the direction of therapy, IFS requires a careful balance to ensure that the therapist is attuned to the client and doesn't impose her own assumptions on the client.

How Do IFS Therapists Use Clinical Intuition

The following is a comparison of when only pure intuition is used rather than the therapist using her own attuned Core Self to understand what is happening to the client.

Note: The IFS Core Self application is the correct way to proceed clinically in IFS Therapy.

Intuitive Attribute: Pacing of the Therapy: 

• Using Only Pure Intuition (without IFS process): An example would be rushing to discover the client's wounded part because it feels open and ready to be discovered.

• The IFS Core Self Application: Slows down to ask permission from the client's defenses first. This is a very important step.

Intuitive Attribute - Interpretation: 

• Using Only Pure Intuition: An example of this would be identifying a client's part without feedback from the client and the part. 

How Do IFS Therapists Use Clinical Intuition?

• The IFS Core Self Application: Asking the client, "How do you feel towards this part right now?"

Intuitive Attribute - Somatic Tracking: 

• Using Only Pure Intuition: An example of only using pure intuition (without the therapist attuned Core Self) would be making an assumption that a client's tight jaw means they are angry.

• The Core Self Application: The therapist shares her observation with the client without making an assumption. Instead of making an assumption, the therapist asks the client how they experience the tightened jaw and what emotion or thought might be connected to it.

How Does An IFS Therapist Develop IFS-Specific Intuition?

• Doing Their Own Therapy: When I did my first postgraduate training in psychoanalysis and psychodynamic therapy, we were all required to do our own three-time-per-week psychoanalysis for the four years I was in the program.  This was a very important part of the training, along with having three clinical supervisors, classes and seeing clients at the psychotherapy center as a Fellow of the program. A therapist's deep understanding of their inner world allows them to provide safe, effective and ethical treatment. It prevents their own personal biases and unresolved issues from interfering with the client's healing process. In IFS therapy, this means that a therapist maintains a healthy connection with her own parts to keep a clear and open channel for IFS-specific intuition. I will discuss this topic further in another article with regard to. the importance of all therapists attending their own therapy as well as working with qualified supervisors, especially when they are new therapists.

• Choosing Resonating Over Reasoning: IFS therapists are trained to shift from cognitive analytic tracking to somatic and energetic resonance in the room with the client.

• Grounding in Curiosity and Compassion: IFS therapists are trained to ground themselves in calm, curiosity and compassion which is part of the Core Self's 8 Cs (the other Cs are: clarity, courage, confidence, creativity, and connectedness. Intuition can develop naturally when the therapist isn't striving for a particular outcome.

Get Help in IFS Therapy

As I mentioned earlier, IFS therapy is one of many different types of Experiential therapy (the others include EMDR, Somatic Experiencing, clinical hypnosis, EFT couples therapy and AEDP.

Get Help in IFS Therapy

If you have been unable to work through a personal problem or if you have unresolved trauma, you could benefit from working with an IFS therapist.

When you are able to free yourself from your history of distress or trauma, you can lead a more fulfilling life.

About Me

I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, IFS, Ego States, EFT for couples, Somatic Experiencing and Certified Sex Therapy.

I have helped many individual adults and couples over the years.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

I provide a free 10-15 minute phone call before setting up an appointment.

You can reach me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or you can email me.

Also See My Articles:

IFS Therapy: Is An Unconscious Part of Yourself in Charge of Your Life?

Healing Perfectionism With IFS Therapy 

The Benefits of Integrative Psychotherapy? 

In Experiential Therapy There Are No "Blank Slate" Therapists

What is the Defense Mechanism Known As "Projection"?

What is the Defense Mechanism Called "Projection"?

Projection is an unconscious psychological defense mechanism where a person attributes their own unacceptable thoughts, feelings, behavior, motives or character traits onto someone else.

What is Projection?

The projection acts as a shield for the person's ego. Instead of confronting uncomfortable truths about their own behavior, feelings and other uncomfortable truths (including feelings of guilt, shame, emotional insecurity or anger), the person who projects externalizes them so that, in their own mind, these problems belong to the other person.

This concept was originally developed in psychoanalytic and psychodynamic theories and most depth-oriented therapists today recognize projection when it's happening in the therapy session, when couples use it in couples therapy or when individual adult clients talk about it in terms of their relationships outside of therapy.

What is Projection?

Defense mechanisms are categorized in a hierarchy ranging from "primitive" (also called "early" or "immature" if the person is an adult) to "mature". The categorization is based on when the person developed the defense mechanism and how they distort reality.

Why is Projection Considered a "Primitive Defense"?

When adults use projection as a defense mechanism, it is considered to be on the primitive end of the defense mechanism spectrum for several important reasons:

• 1. Early Development Origin: As previously mentioned, defenses are categorized on a spectrum. The early developmental defenses, like projection, are the mind's earliest boundary-making tools. Projection usually develops in early childhood before a child has the emotional and cognitive capacities to process complex internal conflicts. Projection is also considered a primitive defense because it develops when a child is still learning to differentiate "me" from "not me" (i.e., their internal world vs their external world).

• 2. A Gross Distortion of Reality: Adults with higher level, more mature defense mechanisms (rationalization, intellectualization and so on) accept reality, but they might reframe it. This is in contrast to how primitive defenses actually alter the way a person perceives reality. Projection forces a severe distortion: The individual completely misperceives an internal truth as an external threat. This fundamentally alters their view of another person's intentions or character.

• 3. All-or-Nothing Thinking: Primitive defenses, like projection, operate on binary all-or-nothing thinking. With projection, the person's ego cannot tolerate what they perceive as a "bad" trait within the inner world, so they project the trait or behavior externally. This lack of nuance is the hallmark of primitive psychological functioning (see my article: Overcoming All-or-Nothing Thinking).

Common Examples of Projection

• Relationship Insecurity: Without realizing it, someone who is feeling like they would like to end their relationship because they cannot tolerate the relationship problems. This is especially true when the problems they bring to the relationship feel intolerable. So, instead of owning and taking responsibility for their own thoughts and feelings, they accuse their partner of wanting to end the relationship. Another example: If someone is cheating, they accuse their partner of cheating or wanting to cheat.

What is Projection?

• Workplace Hostility: An employee who dislikes another coworker might tell others, "That person hates me". They convert what they are feeling, which is, "I don't like that person" into "They don't like me."

• Bullying and Insecurity: A person who criticizes others for being "weak" or "stupid" is often projecting their own deep-seated insecurities onto others.

Why Do Adults Use Projection as a Defense Mechanism?

Projection is unconscious, as I mentioned before, so it's not usually done maliciously. It often happens for specific psychological reasons:

• Reducing Anxiety and Stress: It's very difficult for a person who uses projection to face their own worst traits. Unconsciously shifting these uncomfortable thoughts, feelings  and traits onto a "scapegoat' relieves the immediate internal pressure because the traits have been externalized.

• Protecting Self Esteem: Projection allows an individual to maintain a positive self image by denying their own worst traits and habits.

• Avoiding Accountability: By focusing on the perceived faults of others, the person avoids taking responsibility for their own problems.

• Personality Disorders and Early Trauma: Projection is heavily associated with narcissistic personality disorder, paranoid personality disorder and avoidant personality disorder. It is also associated with early unresolved trauma. Note: Just because someone uses projection as a defense mechanism doesn't necessarily mean they have a personality disorder, but there is a high association between projection and personality disorders. However, if someone uses projection, they usually have early unresolved childhood trauma, which is called developmental trauma. Projection develops during early childhood and for many people it continues into adulthood if they don't get help in therapy.

How Does Projection Affect Relationships?

Projection acts like a psychological shield when the person projecting shifts internal insecurities onto a partner. This damages trust and communication in the relationship.

Projection damages relationships because it:

• Creates False Accusations: Example: A person accuses their partner of trying to control them instead of dealing with their own controlling behavior towards their partner.

• Erodes Mutual Trust: Baseless accusations makes the other person feel targeted and unsafe. Over time, the accused partner stops sharing thoughts and feelings to avoid conflict. 

What is Projection?

• Blocks Real Conflict Resolution: Arguments center on the imagined behavior instead of the actual root issue. The person who is projecting refuses to acknowledge their problem so conflicts aren't resolved and the couple keeps arguing about the same issues over and over again without resolution.

• Causes Emotional Exhaustion: The accused partner keeps defending themselves against baseless and unfair accusations. This cycle drains energy, leads to deeper resentment and perpetuates the same ongong cycle. This usually happens if the person who is projecting doesn't get help in psychotherapy with a qualified therapist.

• Triggers Reality Distortion: The projecting partner truly believes their distorted thinking, feeling and perception of reality, which is distorted. This dynamic can cause the accused partner to question their own sense of reality if they allow the projecting partner to overcome their sense of reality.

Breaking the Cycle of Using Projection as a Defense Mechanism

Since projection is unconscious and develops at a very early age, it can't be resolved without professional help in therapy.

Working with an experienced psychotherapist who understands the unconscious nature of projection (not all therapists are trained to understand projection) can help an accusing individual to pause and look at their own dynamic--before they accuse their partner.

A skilled psychotherapist can help to uncover and address deeply hidden insecurities that are at the root of using projection. She can also help an individual to develop other higher functioning ways of interacting with others, including intimate partners. 

The work isn't quick or easy because projection is a deeply ingrained defense mechanism that is used from early childhood into adulthood. A person who uses projection must be motivated to change and stick with the therapy.

The challenge is that people who use projection often go from one therapist to another because they use projection to defend against the therapist and the therapy. This means they blame the therapist--in the same way as they use projection with others.

Consequently, a licensed mental health must know how to work in a way that feels relatively safe for the client and, at the same time, gently helps the client to make unconscious projection conscious. 

That is the first step. After developing awareness of how the client uses projection, they need to be willing to take steps to change, which is also challenging because of their internal fragility.

For a client who is psychologically fragile, which includes people who use projection, the therapist needs do a thorough assessment, including assessing the client's window of tolerance and help the client to develop the necessary internal resources and coping skills to deal with making these changes.

Unfortunately, most people who use never seek help in therapy and they remain stuck in their negative cycle.

Get Help in Therapy

If you use projection as your defense mechanism, you risk placing your relationships with others, especially your intimate relationship, in jeopardy.

What is Projection?

Although it might not be easy to accept that you're using a primitive defense mechanism from early childhood, using projection and damaging your relationships is much worse.

You can learn about yourself and transform in therapy with a therapist who has an expertise in helping clients with primitive defense mechanisms. This can help you to live a more fulfilling life.

About Me

I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, Somatic Experiencing, IFS Parts Work, EFT Couples Therapist and Certified Sex Therapist.

I have helped many individual adults and couples over the years.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

I provide a free 10-15 minute phone call before I set up an appointment.

You can reach me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or you can email me.

Also See My Articles:

IFS Therapy is a Gentle, Evidence-Based Therapy

How to Develop a Curious Mindset

Overcoming Trauma: You're Not Defined By What Happened to You

Developmental Trauma: Living in the Present As If You Were in the Past

Understanding Traumatizing Narcissists and DARVO (Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender)

Riding the Waves of Transformation

What Role Does Clinical Intuition Play in Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy (AEDP)?

Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy is a type of Experiential Therapy (see my article: Why is Experiential Therapy More Effective Than Traditional Talk Therapy?).

Clinical intuition is an important aspect of all Experiential Therapy.

AEDP was developed by New York psychologist, Diana Fosha (see my articles: What is AEDP and How Does It Heal?- Part 1 and Part 2).

AEDP and Clinical Intuition

In AEDP, intuition acts as an important mechanism bridging the gap between intellectual theory and deep emotional healing.

AEDP privileges right-brain-to-right brain emotional connection over traditional left-brain analytic talking.

What Role Does Clinical Intuition Play in AEDP?

1. Therapist-Led Clinical Intuition: 

In AEDP, clinical intuition is defined as a direct, immediate and embodied knowing. It's not a random guess. 

AEDP and Clinical Intuition

Clinical intuition in AEDP is a highly sophisticated, unconscious pattern recognition developed from deep clinical experience:

• Moments of Rapid Clinical Intuition: Also known by the metaphor of the "blink effect", the AEDP therapist senses somatic and relational shifts between her and the client. This process bypasses left-brain reasoning. It allows the therapist to know the what, when and how to intervene in the moment with the client.

• Right-Brain Attunement: The AEDP therapist uses right-brain receptiveness to register the client's micro-expressions, shifts in vocal tone, and non-verbal somatic cues.  

• Deciding on Interventions: This intuitive state tells the AEDP therapist whether to offer comfort, share authentic self disclosure or challenge a defense.

2. Contemplative Presence

A therapist's intuition is maximized through what AEDP calls "contemplative presence". This requires a specific state of mind and body:

• Micro-Tracking: The AEDP therapist mentally tracks the client's verbal and non-verbal communication while simultaneously tracking her own internal emotional and embodied responses.

AEDP and Clinical Intuition

• Mind Emptying: The therapist empties her mind to remain completely open to whatever happens in the here-and-now.

• Mindful Awareness: The therapist roots her body with mindful breathing and physical presence to clear a space for intuitive insights.

3. Awakening the Client's Inner Knowing

The AEDP therapist helps client's to tap into their own intuition:

• Trauma and chronic distress often causes clients to disconnect from their bodies and second-guess their feelings. 

AEDP and Clinical Intuition

• By asking somatic awareness questions like, "Where do you feel that in your body?", the therapist co-regulates the client's anxiety and other emotions that might be getting in the way of their knowing what they are feeling.

• This allows the clients to access their innate drive to heal, which AEDP calls "transformance". With this process, clients regain their own intuitive sense of what feels healthy, authentic or "off" in their choices and relationships.

Summary of Differences Between AEDP and Traditional Talk Therapy

Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy and traditional talk therapy have important fundamental differences:

Dimension

• Traditional Talk Therapy: Left-brain: Intellectual insight, rational analysis and narrative focus
• AEDP: Right brain: Intuitive focus, somatic tracking and emotional resonance

Therapist's Stance

• Traditional Talk Therapy: Neutral, observant, objective and technique-driven
• AEDP: Explicitly engaged, emotionally authentic and intuitively responsive

Sequence of Healing

• Traditional Talk Therapy: A reliance on insight and logic for changes in behavior and emotion
• AEDP: Somatic, intuitive emotional transformation occurs first and insight follows (see my article: Healing From the Inside Out: Why Intellectual Insight Isn't Enough).

Getting Help in AEDP Therapy

Instead of struggling on your own, you could benefit from working with an AEDP therapist.

When you work through unresolved problems, you can lead a more fulfilling life.

About Me

I am a licensed New York psychotherapist who integrates many different types of Experiential Therapies to help clients to heal from trauma and emotional distress, including: 

• AEDP
• IFS
• EMDR, 
• Somatic Experiencing, 
• EFT for Couples
• Hypnotherapy

I am also a Certified Sex Therapist for individual adults and couples.

I have helped many individual adults and couples over the years.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

I provide a 10-15 minute phone call prior to setting up the first appointment.

You can reach me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Also See My Articles:

How Does AEDP Work? 

How Does AEDP Process Emotions?

How Does Imagery and Imagination Enhance AEDP?

Riding the Waves of Transformation

What Lessons Can We Learn From the Greek Myth About Tantalus?

If you have been reading my blog, you probably realize that I really love Greek mythology and the Homeric tales (see links to article below).

What is the Myth of Tantalus?

The myth of Tantalus is a famous myth about a Greek king who abused his relationships with the gods of Mount Olympus which resulted in his eternal punishment in Tartarus.

Lessons to Be Learned From Myth About Tantalus

His story is the direct origin of the word "tantalize" which describes the torture of being teased with something you can see but you can never reach or touch.

Before he lost favor with the gods, Tantalus was the demigod son of Zeus. Early on, he was favored by the gods and invited to dine with them on Mount Olympus. However, Tantalus had excessive pride and arrogance as well as being overly confident in himself and his hubris led to his downfall.

Tantalus betrayed the gods through a series of escalating crimes:

Tantalus' Crimes

• Stealing Immortality: He stole the food of the gods, nectar and ambrosia, to give to mortals so they could become immortal.

• Betraying Secrets: He gossiped and betrayed sacred secrets that he learned while dining on Olympus.

• The Ultimate Sin: To test whether the gods really knew everything, Tantalus murdered his own son, Pelops, chopped him up, cooked him into a stew and served it to the gods at a banquet.

Most of the gods immediately recognized that the stew had human flesh and refused to eat it--except Demeter, who was so upset and distracted by the loss of her daughter, Persephone, that she ate part of it.

Zeus Punishes Tantalus

Enraged by Tantalus' actions, Zeus cast him into the deep abyss of Tartarus where he was forced to stand in a pool of fresh water up to his neck. Whenever he bent down to drink the water, he was unable to drink even one drop because the water receded into the earth leaving him always parched.

Another part of his punishment was that delicious fruit hung over his head, but whenever he reached up to take a piece, a strong wind blew the branches just out of his grasp.

In some versions of the myth, a huge stone was balanced precariously over his head which left him in a constant state of terror of being crushed.

In the aftermath of Tantalus' punishment, the gods revived his son, but the actions of Tantalus cast a shadow and a curse on future generations in his descendants, known as the House of Atreus. One of his descendants was Agamemnon who is an important character in the Homeric tales, The Iliad and The Odyssey.

What Can We Learn From the Greek Myth About Tantalus?

The myth of Tantalus serves as a powerful psychological and moral allegory. It offers three important lessons about human behavior and ethics:

1. Beware of Hubris

• The Lesson: Privilege does not place you above moral laws.

• The Context: Tantalus was welcomed as a peer among the gods, but he allowed his status to breed destructive arrogance.

• Modern Parallel: Powerful leaders or individuals who believe their status exempts them from the laws often face catastrophic downfalls.

2. Guard Against Insatiable Craving

• The Lesson: Tracing endless validation or greed can create permanent psychological torment.

• The Context: Tantalus' punishment mirrors his life of endless, ungrateful wanting.

• Modern Parallel: The "hedonic treadmill", where achieving a goal only causes someone to immediately obsess over the next desire, will only lead to perpetual dissatisfaction.

3. Trust and Boundaries Are Sacred

• The Lesson: Betraying core relationships and foundational ethics destroys your future.

• The Context: Tantalus betrayed the ultimate Greek law of hospitality, Xenia, by stealing from his hosts. He also betrayed the ultimate law of nature by sacrificing his own child for a petty test.

• Modern Parallel: Breaking fundamental trust in relationships and communities can trigger a toxic chain reaction that damages families for generations.

What is the Connection to Modern Psychology?

The myth of Tantalus connects deeply to modern psychology, particularly in how it illustrates the problems with constant craving and chronic dissatisfaction.

Modern psychology uses the myth of Tantalus to explain the human mind:

The Hedonic Treadmill

• The Concept: Humans quickly return to a relatively stable level of happiness despite major positive or negative consequences in their life.

Hedonic Treadmill

• The Connection: Just like Tantalus reaching for fruit that immediately blew away, people often chase a promotion, a luxury item or status because they believe it will bring them permanent satisfaction. But once they get what they want, the thrill vanishes and leaves them craving more (see my article: Why Chasing Happiness Doesn't Work).

The Psychology of Craving

• The Concept: Modern neuroscience distinguishes "wanting" (craving) from "liking" (pleasure).

• The Connection: Tantalus represents unadulterated craving without the possibility of pleasure. In situations like this, the brain is trapped in a state of intense, agonizing craving, but once a person gets what he craves, it does not bring pleasure. Instead, it creates a self-perpetuating loop of torment.

4. Frustration Aggression Theory

• The Concept: Psychological distress escalates rapidly when a highly anticipated goal is blocked just before completion.

• The Connection: Tantalus isn't just starving--he's tantalized. The psychological torture comes from proximity. Modern studies reveal that being so close to a reward and losing it triggers much more anger and stress than being nowhere near it at all.

5. Intergenerational Trauma

• The Concept: Unresolved trauma, toxic behaviors and psychological patterns in parents are often passed down to damage future generations (see my article: What is Intergenerational Trauma?).

• The Connection: Tantalus sacrificed his son. This horrific act sparked a curse that plagued his children and grandchildren (the House of Atreus) for generations. Psychotherapists see this as an early literary representation of how familial abuse perpetuates itself until someone actively breaks the cycle and gets help in therapy.

About Me

I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, IFS Parts Work, EFT couples therapist, Somatic Experiencing and Certified Sex Therapist.

I have helped many individual adults and couples over the years.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

I provide a free 10-15 minute phone call before setting up a first appointment.

You can reach me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or you can email me.

 

Also See My Articles:

How Can Reading The Odyssey Foster Psychological Development? 

How Can the Hero's Journey Help You With Big Problems in Your Life? 

The Psychological Benefits of Reading Literature

The Power of Storytelling 

 

What is the Step-By-Step IFS Therapy Process?

In my last article, Healing Perfectionism With IFS Therapy, I began a discussion about perfectionism and IFS therapy.

In the current article, I'm discussing the step-by-step process of IFS healing perfectionism.

Although I'm focusing on perfectionism, the IFS process for healing is the same for other problems including anxiety, depression and trauma as well as other mental health issues.

Healing Perfectionism With IFS Therapy

Instead of trying to force you to eliminate parts of yourself, IFS helps you to understand, communicate with and untangle these parts. 

This allows your Core Self, which is also known as your true self, to lead a life with compassion and balance (see my article: How Does IFS Therapy Help You to Discover Your True Self?).

How Does IFS Therapy Help With Perfectionism?

As I have mentioned in my prior article, IFS is an gentle, evidence-based therapy that is effective for overcoming most mental health issues.

IFS Therapy and Perfectionism

From the IFS therapy perspective, perfectionism is driven by certain parts of the personality that include three different categories:

• Proactive Protectors ("Managers"): These protectors include the perfectionist and inner critic parts. The perfectionist part sets unreasonably high standards and the inner critic micromanages your behavior. Their goal is to ensure that you behave flawlessly so you never have to experience failure or judgment. The overall goal of proactive parts is to protect you from your wounded inner child (see below).

• Reactive Protectors ("Firefighters"): When the proactive protectors inevitably fail to live up to the "perfect" standards and the wounded parts of yourself get triggered, the firefighters, who are reactive protectors, step in to numb the pain. This might include sudden procrastination, drinking or drugging excessively, constant scrolling on your phone and so on--anything that numbs the pain. The reactive part's goal is also to protect the wounded inner child (see below).

• The Vulnerable Wounded Inner Child ("Exile"): This is the hidden part of your personality that carries the emotional wounds from the past. This part carries feelings of inadequacy, shame or the belief that you are only lovable when you succeed. The proactive and reactive parts work relentless to keep this wounded part buried so you don't feel the emotional pain. 

How Do These Parts Develop?

These parts don't just develop out of nowhere.

Childhood Wounded Parts 

They develop as survival strategies in response to your childhood, environment or cultural conditioning.

According to Dr. Richard Schwartz, who developed IFS therapy, parts are naturally healthy before they take on the burden of survival strategies. 

As I will explain below, the goal of IFS therapy is to help these parts to let go of their rigid, exhausting roles so they can take on new healthy roles.

What is the Step-By-Step Healing Process in IFS For Perfectionism?

IFS therapy has a step-by-step healing process:

• Stepping Back From Your Perfectionist and Inner Critic Parts: This is called "unblending" in IFS. From an IFS perspective, when you are "blended" or enmeshed with these parts, you believe that they are your entire identity instead of just a part of you. An IFS trained therapist can help you to create space between your Core Self, also known as your true identity, and your protective parts. This space allows you to observe these parts rather than being consumed by them.

• Discovering the Positive Intent of the Perfectionist and Inner Critic Parts: IFS therapy operates from the premise that there are "no bad parts", which means that every part has a positive intention. So, instead of fighting with the perfectionist and inner critic parts, you can approach them with curiosity and compassion. With the help of your IFS therapist, you learn to have an internal dialogue with these parts and ask them what they think would happen if they stopped pushing you. The perfectionist and inner critic parts frequently respond that they are afraid if they didn't push you, you would get hurt again by being abandoned or rejected as you were in the past. In other words, the parts are trying to protect you in the only way they know how--by demanding perfection and criticizing you when, inevitably, you don't achieve perfection--because there's no such thing as perfection.

• Accessing the Calm and Compassionate Core Self: By experiencing a separation from these parts, you can gain access to your calm and compassionate Core Self. When you treat the parts with calm and compassion, instead of frustration and anger. Then, their protective grip usually begins to soften--if not immediately, then over time.

• Healing the Underlying Emotional Wound ("The Unburdening Process"): Once the perfectionist and inner critic parts trust that your Core Self can handle things, they allow you and your IFS therapist to safely access the wounded part of yourself. At that point, your Core Self can comfort the inner young wounded child part, witness its past pain, and help it to release ("unburden") the deeply held belief that its worth depends on being perfect. 

• Assigning New Roles to the Perfectionist and Inner Critic Parts: In IFS therapy, healing these parts doesn't mean losing your drive or ambition. It means that once the underlying fear is resolved, the perfectionist and critical parts are freed from their exhausting "guard duty" (also known as defenses). At that point, they can transition into healthy new roles, such as being a detail-oriented ally, an organizer or a source of joyful creativity without ruling your sense of self worth.

Get Help in IFS Therapy

As previously mentioned, IFS therapy is a gentle, evidence based therapy.

Get Help in IFS Therapy

If you have been unable to resolve your problems on your own, you could benefit from working with an IFS therapist to have a more fulfilling life.

About Me

I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, IFS, Somatic Experiencing, EFT couples therapist and Certified Sex Therapist.

I have helped many individual adults and couples over the years.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

I provide a free 10-15 minute phone call before setting up an appointment.

You can reach me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or  email me.

Also See My Articles:

How Are Emotions Processed in IFS Therapy? 

Understanding Your Protector Parts From an IFS Therapy Perspective

What is the Connection Between IFS Therapy and Neural Networks?