Overcoming Childhood Trauma With the Ideal Parents Protocol

The Ideal Parents Protocol was originally developed by Alfred Pesso and Diane Boyden-Pesso in 1964 as part of their body-based psychomotor therapy (PBSP). 

Alfred Pesso taught his protocol at Harvard University where, decades later, Dr. Daniel Brown, a psychologist and hypnotherapist, adapted Pesso's concepts.

The Ideal Parents Protocol in Therapy

Although PBSP used group dynamics and physical touch, Dr. Brown changed the Ideal Parents Protocol into a solitary internal guided visualization process with no therapist touch involved in 2016 (see my article: How Can Visualization Transform Your Life?).

I learned the Ideal Parents Protocol from a PBSP colleague as well as in my advanced clinical hypnosis training about 20 years ago.

How Does the Ideal Parents Protocol Help Adult Psychotherapy Clients?

The Ideal Parents Protocol helps adult clients who were abused or neglected as children by their real parents. The protocol rewires their internal template of relationships by creating new imaginary memories of secure attachment.

The Ideal Parents Protocol in Therapy

The brain processes vivid, emotionally resonant imagination using the same neural pathways as real-world experiences. 

By visualizing Ideal Parents who satisfied childhood emotional needs, the adult brain constructs a new, positive blueprint for safety and connection.

The protocol can reverse the damage of childhood emotional neglect and abuse through five mechanisms:

• 1. Neutralizing Hypervigliance (Providing Safety and Protection): Abused and neglected children live in a chronic state of fight-or-flight because their caregivers were the source of developmental trauma.

• The Healing Mechanism: In the visualization, the client imagines parents who are safe, protective and non-threatening. Experiencing this imagined safety allows the adult's nervous system to let go of chronic survival strategies so they can learn what true safety and relaxation feel like.

• 2. Filling the Emotional "Empty Well" (Providing Nurturance): Emotionally neglected and abused children feel unseen, emotionally empty, unlovable and lonely because no one responded to their emotional distress.

• The Healing Mechanism: The adult client imagines parents who offer unconditional warmth and love as well as physical and emotional comfort. This targeted visualization acts like an emotional "time machine", filling in the gaps of emotional neglect and healing a history of abuse. It also helps the adult to develop self compassion and a sense of inherent self worth.

• 3. Validating Inner Reality (Providing Attunement): Abusive and neglectful parents often dismiss, minimize or gaslight a child's feelings. This teaches the child to ignore their own emotions and intuition.

• The Healing Mechanism: The Ideal Parents in the protocol are completely attuned.  They can read the client's facial expressions, voice and body language. They mirror and validate the client's feelings. This teaches the client to trust their own emotional reality.

• 4. Overcoming the Feeling of Being a Burden: Abused and neglected children usually feel their emotional and physical needs are an annoying burden to their parents. 

• The Healing Mechanism: The protocol guides the client to visualize parents who are delighted by the client's presence. The Ideal Parents express joy by just being around the client. This directly targets the adult's core shame of "taking up too much space" or being "needy". 

• 5. Building a Foundation For Independence: While abusive parents often control or sabotage a child's emotional and psychological growth, neglectful parents ignore the client's growth completely. This often leaves the adult afraid to take risks or to succeed.

• The Healing Mechanism: The client visualizes parents who are enthusiastic in encouraging the client to explore, achieve milestones and develop independence. This can instill a deep, internal sense of security, allowing the adult to confidently pursue career goals, hobbies and healthy adult relationships in the real world.

Conclusion

The Ideal Parents Protocol can provide a powerful healing experience.

Although the Ideal Parents Protocol cannot change a client's history, it can heal the emotional pain from the past by providing a client with the corrective emotional experience they deserve.

Getting Help in Therapy

If you have been struggling with unresolved childhood trauma, rather than struggling on your own, seek help from a licensed mental health professional who includes the Ideal Parents Protocol among her trauma therapy modalities.

Get Help in Therapy

When you have freed yourself from your traumatic past, you can live a more fulfilling life.

About Me

I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, IFS Parts Work, Emotionally Focused Couples Therapist, Somatic Experiencing and Certified Sex Therapist.

As a trauma therapist, I have helped many individual adults and couples with the Ideal Parents Protocol and other modalities in trauma therapy.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

I provide a free 10-15 minute phone call before setting up the first appointment.

You can reach at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email.

Also See My Articles

Using Your Imagination as a Powerful Tool For Change

Using the Mind-Body Connection to Create a Vision of What You Want 

How Can Imaginal Interweaves Heal Trauma?

Why Are So Many of Us Fearful of Change While Others Embrace It?

According to the latest research, while some people embrace change wholeheartedly, the vast majority of us don't like change--especially change we haven't chosen because it gets us out of our comfort zone.

Making Changes

As a New York City psychotherapist in private practice, I get to see how people respond to making changes--even changes they want--with a mixture of anxious anticipation, fear and ambivalence. 

On the surface, this might not seem to make sense. After all, you might say, if people are coming to therapy voluntarily because they want to make changes, why wouldn't they respond to change with open arms?

As we explore further, although it might not make sense objectively, it does make psychological sense.

Why Is Change so Hard For Most of Us?

When we look beyond the surface, we see that what most people really dislike is the lack of control and the uncertainty involved. 

Looking even further, we discover that, while we might like certain changes that we have chosen--like traveling on a much-anticipated vacation, falling in love or getting a raise at work, we tend to feel resistance to involuntary changes that are imposed on us.

Involuntary change might include:

• An unexpected life event like the death of a loved one, a new health concern or the end of a relationship where there is grief and loss

• A workplace restructuring that might involve reporting to someone new

• A financial loss

• Other similar unexpected changes

Under these involuntary circumstances, the pain and loss can feel confusing and threatening.

Why Do We Have Mixed Feelings About Change We Seek in Therapy?

The individual adults and couples I see in my private practice are all voluntary clients. None of them are mandated to come to therapy.

Making Changes in Therapy

They usually come to therapy, spending their time and hard-earned money in the effort, because some part of them wants to make changes. 

But, for most us, as we begin the change process, we also begin to have mixed feelings about it--even for changes that we really want.

Why is this?

Part of the answer is that the human brain naturally prioritizes predictability and comfort over the discomfort of growth. Even when a change is highly desired and voluntarily chosen, the status quo represents a survival strategy or behavioral pattern that has kept us safe, comfortable or, at least, it was familiar. 

With regard to safe and familiar, as the saying goes, "Better the devil you know than the devil you don't."

In psychotherapy this ambivalence is called the "approach-avoidance conflict" which means that we are simultaneously drawn to the benefits of change and a better life while also being repelled by the fear and effort to change.

In addition, maladaptive behaviors always serve a purpose--even if we don't know what that purpose might be. 

Making Changes in IFS Therapy

For instance, according to IFS Therapy (Internal Family Systems Therapy), we all have many different aspects of ourselves, including protector parts, also known as defense mechanisms in psychodynamic psychotherapy. 

It's common to have protector parts that resist change because these parts assumed these roles in order to "protect" a wounded traumatized part of us.

These protector parts have "good intentions" in terms of their protective roles. Most likely, they were useful at an earlier time in our life as a survival mechanism, but their impact becomes maladaptive as we become adults and these survival mechanisms hold us back. 

For instance, if we learned to become emotionally numb in a dysfunctional family when our parents were fighting, the emotional numbness might have protected us from feeling the overwhelming pain of being abused or neglected.

But, as an adult, becoming emotionally numb while our spouse is telling us how annoyed they are about something we did isn't adaptive anymore. As adults, we need to be attuned and attentive to what our partner is saying if we want our relationship to survive.

We might really want to be a good partner, but if we have a tendency to numb ourselves (also known as "zoning out") when our partner is complaining to us, being present would mean taking the emotional risk that we are now safe enough with our partner to let go of a long-standing defense mechanism, which isn't easy to do.

Another example: If we are working on unresolved trauma, we know logically that our life would be better once we no longer carry the burden of the psychological trauma, but dealing with painful unprocessed emotions might make us want to abandon the effort.

How Can the Change Process Be Easier to Manage?

As a trauma therapist, I can't eliminate the emotional pain with making changes, especially if the change involves processing unresolved trauma, but I can and do help clients to process trauma in manageable ways when possible (see my article: Coping With Emotional Distress in Experiential Therapy Using the Somatic Experiencing Technique of Pendulation).

Although change might not be easy, there are ways to make it more manageable with the help of an experienced therapist:

• Shift Out of An All-or-Nothing Mindset: All-or-nothing thinking sets us up for disappointment when we don't make difficult changes immediately. 

Get Curious About the Change Process

• Adopt Non-Judgemental Curiosity: Instead of viewing fear and ambivalence as a personal failure, get curious about your change process (see my article: How to Develop a Curious Mindset).

• Acknowledge Protective Habits: Recognize that old habits that are no longer adaptive once kept you feeling safe.

• Separate Fear From Action: Learn to carry the physical sensation of fear in therapy while you take steps to make changes.

Progress Isn't Linear

• Expect Non-Linear Progress: Expect that growth involves inevitable ups and downs. Progress isn't a straight line (see my article: Progress in Therapy Isn't Linear).

• Identify What is Controllable: Instead of focusing on what isn't controllable, focus on what you can control right now.

• Remember Prior Resilience: Write down the times when you were able to successfully make changes due to unexpected events and recognize that you probably still have the resilience to make changes now--especially if you approach change in a manageable way rather than all at once.

Challenge Catastrophic Thinking

• Challenge Catastrophic Thinking: Evaluate whether your fears are realistic or if your mind is focusing only on worst-case scenarios (see my article: Are You Catastrophizing?).

• Process Long-Term Regret: Forgive yourself for waiting until now to make changes so that guilt doesn't become an obstacle to making changes.

Conclusion

Change can be difficult.

Even when you seek help in therapy to make much-needed changes, you can experience an approach-avoidance conflict about the process.

Get Help in Therapy

There are steps you can take in the change process, with the help of a therapist, that can make the change more manageable.

In addition, choosing a therapist that allows you to feel safe enough to make changes is important--not only for making changes--but also to have a new experience of safety if you weren't safe when you were growing up (see my article: How to Choose a Psychotherapist).

About Me

I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, IFS/Parts Work Therapist, EFT Couples Therapist, Somatic Experiencing and Certified Sex Therapist.

As an experienced therapist, I have helped many individual adults and couples to make positive change over the years.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

I provide a free 10-15 minute phone call before setting up a first appointment.

To set up an appointment, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Also See My Articles:

Overcoming Your Fear of Making Changes

What is a Growth Mindset vs a Fixed Mindset?

Coping With the In-Between State of Change

Why It's Important For Therapists to Provide Clients With Information About How Therapy Works

Can You Heal From Your Trauma Without Psychotherapy? Part 2

In my last article,  Can You Heal From Your Trauma Without Psychotherapy - Part 1, I began with a very qualified "yes" to this question.

Healing From Trauma

Part 1 of this topic focused on the barriers to finding a therapist which often forces people who want therapy to deal with their trauma on their own. 

In the current article, I'll discuss the types of self-help interventions you can use on your own to heal from trauma and some of the challenges involved in trying to heal certain types of trauma on your own.

Generally speaking, you can try to heal on your own with one-time traumatic events that are mildly disturbing--although what is mildly disturbing to one person is severely disturbing to someone else. As a result, you have to know yourself well without being in denial about how you're affected by your unresolved trauma.

Healing From Trauma on Your Own Without Psychotherapy

Under certain circumstances, which I'll discuss in this article, individuals do heal from trauma on their own without psychotherapy.

Healing From Trauma

Many individuals who have a natural resilience, a strong support network and self-directed coping strategies have healed on their own from mildly disturbing traumatic events.

I'll discuss the limitations and risks in the next section of this article.

With the exception of complex trauma, chronic trauma, depression, panic attacks, severe flashbacks, substance abuse or debilitating anxiety and other related conditions, many individuals can heal from trauma without therapy.

Another exception is if a one-time traumatic event occurs and you have a history of complex trauma. Under these circumstances, the one-time event can exacerbate long-standing complex trauma, so it's not advisable to try heal on your own. You need professional help.

Whether or not you can heal from trauma on your own depends on certain personal factors including (but not limited to):

• The severity of your trauma
• The duration of your trauma
• The frequency of your trauma
• Your internal resources and coping skills
• Your personal access to a safe environment

It's not unusual for individuals who experience trauma to underestimate the severity, duration and frequency of their trauma, so you have to be objectively honest with yourself.

In addition, if someone is accustomed to living in an unsafe environment, they might have a blind spot about their current circumstances because it's familiar and seems "normal" to them. So, once again, you need to be objectively honest with yourself, which can be challenging.

When Is It Possible to Heal Independently?

Since trauma affects the brain's survival wiring and nervous system, the possibility of healing independently requires a combination of emotional, mental and physical strategies:

• Somatic and Nervous System Regulation: Trauma traps the body in a continuous state of fight, flight or freeze. Individuals who have unresolved trauma often benefit from physical practices like trauma-informed yoga, breathwork and rhythmic movement to signal to their nervous system that they are safe now. 

Healing From Trauma

• Structured Self Reflection: Tools such as expressive writing or structured journaling allow individuals with trauma to safely externalize their overwhelming feelings, identify trauma triggers and track behavior problems without immediate judgment. 

• Relational Safety: Healing from trauma rarely, if ever, occurs in isolation. Building trusted relationships with safe friends, family members or peer support groups help build a sense of shared belonging and mutual trust.

• Psychoeducation: Reading evidence-basesd literature on trauma recovery can empower individuals to understand their emotional flashbacks and dismantle self-blame objectively. Although developing insight into your trauma isn't the same as working through it, psychoeducation is a good first step.

What Are the Risks and Limitations to Healing Independently?

While self healing is possible, trying to navigate healing from trauma entirely on your own has distinct challenges that should be carefully considered:

• Risk of Retraumatization: This is a very important consideration. The unchecked excavation of deeply repressed, distressing traumatic memories without professional stabilization from a mental health professional can inadvertently reinforce neural pathways of fear, anxiety, panic and amplification of panic and anxiety. 

• Blind Spots: An individual's psychological defense mechanisms, including dissociation and emotional numbing, can hide underlying trauma responses. This makes identifying a trauma response very difficult to identify and resolve on your own.

• Symptom Severity: Self-directed methods to healing trauma are generally more effective for localized, single-event trauma (e.g., a one-time argument with a loved one when the relationship is normally healthy, a close call with a car accident where the accident never occurred and other similar one-time events). Complex trauma, chronic trauma, persistent panic attacks, severe flashbacks, substance abuse and depression are among the conditions that shouldn't be handled independently. Under those circumstances, a qualified mental health professional is required.

• Avoid Reliving Instead of Revisiting the Trauma: Retelling your trauma, whether you do it on your own or you talk with a therapist who isn't a qualified trauma therapist, will be retraumatizing instead of healing.

Healing From Complex Trauma

Complex trauma stems from chronic, repeated interpersonal violations such as childhood abuse and neglect and other similar conditions.

Complex trauma fundamentally alters your brain structure, your nervous system and relational trust.

Trauma therapy remains the gold standard for complex trauma.

Why is Self-Healing Not Advisable For Complex Trauma?

Here are some of the major reasons:

• The "Window of Tolerance" Danger: Healing complex trauma requires processing traumatic memories without tipping into panic or shutting down with dissociation. Without a trauma therapist to help you monitor your "window of tolerance", processing deep trauma on your own can lead to unintended retraumatization (see my article: Expanding Your Window of Tolerance to Overcome Emotional Problems).

• The Relational Wound: Complex trauma is usually caused by people. Since the hurt happened in a relationship, true rewiring of your attachment system and relational trust requires a safe, consistent relationship--the type of relationship you have with a skilled trauma therapist.

• Nervous System Hijacking: Trauma lives in the trauma-focused and emotional parts of the brain and body--not just in the logical part of your brain. It is extremely difficult (if not impossible) for you to talk yourself or think yourself out of an automatic biological panic without professional help.

When Self Help is Not Enough

Self-guided healing is more likely to work for mild symptoms and establishing baseline stability.

As previously mentioned, professional help is needed if you have complex trauma, panic attacks, depression, substance abuse problems, flashbacks, relationship problems, debilitating anxiety or other symptoms that affect your daily functioning.

Before You Try to Heal Your Trauma On Your Own, Consult a Professional: If you are considering whether or not to try to heal without therapy or you want to make sure you'll be safe on your own, have a consultation with a licensed mental health professional who is a trauma therapist. 

A skilled trauma therapist can assess whether you can safely try to heal on your own or if you need professional help.

Getting Help in Trauma Therapy

If you decide to pursue trauma therapy with a licensed mental health professional, you have various choices with regard to trauma therapy modalities:

The Top Down Approach to Trauma Therapy

The top down approach to trauma therapy includes cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) which challenges your distorted thoughts and beliefs related to your trauma. The problem with CBT, in my professional opinion, is that it usually leaves out the mind-body connection and it often doesn't go deep enough.

Trauma Therapy: Top Down and Bottom Up Approaches

The Bottom Up Approach to Trauma Therapy

I recommend the Bottom Up approach to trauma therapy, which are also known as Experiential Therapies (see my article: What is the Difference Between Top Down and Bottom Up Therapies?

Experiential Therapy tends to be more effective for processing trauma than traditional talk therapy like CBT (see my article: Why is Experiential Therapy More Effective Than Traditional Talk Therapy to Overcome Trauma?).

Experiential Therapies are mind-body oriented therapy that get to the root of the problem by focusing on the mind-body connection (see my article: Experiential Therapy and the Mind-Body Connection: The Body Offers a Window Into the Unconscious Mind).

Bottom up Experiential therapies include:

• Somatic Experiencing Therapy (SE)

• AEDP (Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy)

• Somatic IFS Therapy (Somatic Internal Family Systems Therapy)

• EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing Therapy)

About Me

I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, IFS/Parts Work Therapy, Emotionally Focused Therapy for couples, Somatic Experiencing and Certified Sex Therapist.

As a trauma therapist, I have helped many individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

I offer a free 10-15 phone call before I sent up a first appointment.

You can call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me to make an appointment.

Also See My Articles:

How Does Somatic Experiencing Process Emotions? 

Experiential Therapy, Like EMDR, Helps to Achieve Emotional Breakthroughs

Combining EMDR and IFS Somatic Parts Work Therapy 

How Does AEDP Heal Trauma? 

What is Somatic Resonance and Why Is It Healing?

What is Somatic IFS Therapy?

I've written prior articles about IFS (Internal Family Systems) therapy, a gentle evidence based trauma therapy, in the past (see links for articles at this end of this article).

What is Somatic IFS Therapy?

Somatic IFS therapy is an integrative approach that combines the "parts work" of traditional IFS with body-centered somatic therapy.

Somatic IFS Therapy

Somatic IFS was developed by IFS trainer, Susan McConnell, who also wrote the book, Somatic Internal Family Systems.

This modality is based on the premise that psychological wounds, trauma and subpersonalities (parts) don't just live in the mind--they are physically stored in the nervous system, tissues and postures.

Somatic IFS Therapy as Mind-Body Parts Work

Traditional IFS sees the human psyche as a system of distinct subpersonalities (e.g., inner children, managers and protectors) led by a compassionate Core Self. 

Although traditional IFS does use the mind-body connection, it relies mostly on cognitive dialog to interact with these parts. Somatic IFS really emphasizes the body in this dialog.

The basic assumptions of Somatic IFS include:

• Parts Are Embodied: An anxious protector might manifest as a tight jaw or restricted breathing. Similarly, a deeply wounded exile (wounded part of oneself) might show up as chronic fatigue or a collapsed posture.

• The Core Self is Embodied: Genuine healing comes from an embodied Core Self where a person doesn't just think from a place of curiosity and compassion--they feel physically grounded and safe within their own skin.

What Are the 5 Core Practices of Somatic IFS Therapy?

Somatic IFS uses five distinct structured practices to bridge the gap between mind and body:

• Somatic Awareness: The foundational step in Somatic IFS is from having a body to being a body--noticing physical sensations, interoceptive cues and internal stories (see my article: The Mind-Body Connection: What is Somatic Awareness?)

Somatic IFS Therapy

• Conscious Breathing: Somatic IFS uses specific breathwork techniques to regulate the nervous system, soothe hyperactive parts and safely access buried emotional pain (these parts are called "exiles" in IFS).

• Radical Resonance: Somatic IFS develops awareness of the energetic relational space between the client and the therapist. This allows the IFS therapist's regulated nervous system to help co-regulate the client. 

• Mindful Movement: Somatic IFS invites micro-movements, which are changes in posture or expressive stretching to let a nonverbal part of the client express itself physically its needs, incomplete survival defenses or release physically burdens held by the parts.

• Attuned Touch: Somatic IFS therapy encourages the client to comfort wounded parts through touch/grounding hand placement. This also allows the client to use their hand to facilitate a felt sense of safety.

Somatic IFS Therapy and the Nervous System

Somatic IFS is effective for conditions rooted in the nervous system because it goes beyond intellectual analysis and intellectual insight. 

Somatic IFS is used for posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), chronic trauma, anxiety, complex trauma, preveral trauma and other nervou system related mind-body oriented problems.

About Me

I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, IFS, Somatic Experiencing, EFT therapist (for couples) and Certified Sex Therapist.

I have helped many individual adults and couples over the years.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Also See My Articles:

IFS Therapy is a Gentle Evidence-Based Trauma Therapy 

What is the Connection Between IFS Therapy and Neural Networks? 

How IFS Therapy Can Help With Anxiety

 

IFS-Informed EMDR: What Are the Benefits of Integrating EMDR and IFS Parts Work Therapy?

Combining EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) and IFS (Internal Family Systems) Parts Work Therapy creates a powerful synergistic approach for recovering from trauma. 

Integrating EMDR and IFS Parts Work Therapy

See my articles about EMDR and IFS: 

What is EMDR Therapy?

IFS Parts Work Therapy is a Gentle Evidence Based Trauma Therapy

How Are EMDR and IFS Therapies Integrated For Trauma Processing?

EMDR therapy uses accelerated processing to target traumatic memories while IFS provides a gentle nonpathologizing framework that honors the many aspects of the client's personality (also known as "parts").

Integrating EMDR and IFS Parts Work Therapy

Blending EMDR and IFS is called IFS-informed EMDR. The integration of these two therapies helps trauma therapists to navigate dissociation, resistance and processing blocks for clients with unresolved psychological trauma.

Phases 1 and 2: History Taking, Treatment Planning and Preparation: Whereas traditional EMDR focuses on identifying target memories and teaching basic grounding skills, integrating IFS shifts the focus to mapping the client's internal system and establishing foundational safety:

• Parts Mapping: The trauma therapist maps out the client's psychological protective system. These protective parts are known as Managers and Firefighters. The wounded parts of the client, which hold the client's trauma history, are known as Exiles.

IFS Mapping

• Identifying Negative Beliefs as Parts: Instead of treating negative beliefs as just thoughts, the therapist treats negative beliefs, like I'm unlovable" or "I'm powerless", as protective parts which are trying to protect the client from future harm. 

• Cultivating Core Self Energy: The therapist ensures the client can access their Core Self. The Core Self is characterized by compassion, curiosity and other similar qualities. Core Self acts as the client's primary internal resource before trauma processing begins (see my article: Understanding Your Core Self and Parts in IFS Therapy).

Phases 3 and 4: Assessment and Reprocessing: This is where the synergy of integrating EMDR and IFS takes place. Instead of framing the client's "resistance" as a problem, the therapist understands the protective nature of resistant parts and uses IFS Parts Work to clear the path for EMDR's bilateral stimulation:

• Securing Protector's Consent: The client's protector part's permission is essential so, before using EMDR's bilateral stimulation on a traumatic memory, the therapist will check with the protective part guarding the memory. She will ask, "Is it okay if we look at this memory today? Would you be willing to step aside?"

Integrating EMDR and IFS Parts Work Therapy

• Handling Looping and Blocks: If processing stalls or the client dissociates, the therapist recognizes that a protector part has stepped in to block the intensity of the processing. If so, the therapist will introduce an IFS-informed cognitive interweave, "Can the part that is blocking the processing let us know what it is worried would happen if we keep going?" 

• Maintaining Functional Dual Attention: Dual attention means the client keeps one foot in the present moment (Core Self energy) while simultaneously witnessing the Exile's trauma during the bilateral stimulation (see my article: What is Dual Awareness in Psychotherapy?).

Phases 5 and 6: Installation and Body Scan: Once a memory has been desensitized, the focus shifts to internal alignment and somatic integration:

• Inviting the Parts to "Try On" Positive Beliefs: Instead of installing a positive belief globally (as would be done in traditional EMDR), the therapist will check out how individual parts of the client receive it. She will ask if the protective parts feel safe adopting a positive belief like "I am lovable" or "I feel empowered". 

Integrating EMDR and IFS Parts Work Therapy

• Somatic "Befriending": During the body scan, if any residual tension is detected, the therapist will treat this physical sensation as a part. She will help the client to bring curiosity to this area of the body to see what emotional burden it is holding.

Phase 7 and 8: Closure and Re-evaluation: These final phases ensure the internal system remains stable and cohesive between sessions:

• Systemic Inclusion: Before closing an incomplete session, a trauma therapist explicitly checks back in with the protector parts that stepped aside. She will acknowledge their hard work, thank them for their cooperation and ensure they feel safe returning to their roles until the next session. 

• Assessing Systemic Shifts: At the start of the next session, the therapist will evaluate the client's inner world to see how the client's parts reacted to the last session. She will also check to see if new protectors have emerged or if old ones feel lighter. 

What Are the Benefits of Integrating EMDR and IFS Parts Work Therapy?

Integrating EMDR and IFS combines the rapid processing of EMDR and the gentle framework of IFS. This hybrid approach, which is called IFS-Informed EMDR, addresses the limitations of each modality when used alone. 

IFS-Informed EMDR offers several distinct clinical advantages including:

• Reducing Dissociation and Emotional Flooding: Traditional EMDR can sometimes overwhelm certain clients with complex trauma. This overwhelm can lead to dissociation. The IFS benefit is that the therapist does not push beyond the client's defenses, which are seen as "parts". By identifying and gaining permission from protective parts before starting bilateral stimulation, the pacing of the therapy matches the client's internal threshold which prevents sudden decompensation (see my article: What is Complex Trauma?).

Integrating EMDR and IFS Parts Work Therapy

• Overcoming Treatment Blocks and Looping: In traditional EMDR, processing can stall ("loop") when the client's unconscious mind resists going to the traumatic memory. By using IFS, instead of viewing resistance as a hindrance, the therapist sees the protector part as doing its job. The therapist will pause the processing to hear the protector's fears (e.g., "If I let go of this fear, I'll be at risk for being traumatized again"). Hearing the protector's fears can unblock the processing without triggering internal conflict for the client.

• Providing an Internal Attachment Figure: Traditional EMDR relies heavily on the therapist as the external source of safety and containment during processing. IFS cultivates the client's Core Self energy of compassion and curiosity to act as the primary healing agent. The client's Core Self becomes the internal attachment figure that holds, validates and "re-parents" the wounded child part (known as the Exile) during trauma processing.

• Maximizing Safety For Complex PTSD: Clients with complex developmental trauma often lack a single, clear target memory to process which makes traditional EMDR therapy difficult to initiate. The IFS mapping provides a clear internal landscape because therapists can target the relationship between the parts or focus on the negative core beliefs held by a specific part. This offers a structured roadmap for clients with fragmented trauma histories.

• Enhancing Post-Session Integration: After an intense EMDR session, clients can sometimes experience a backslash from internal defenses that feel blindsided by the rapid changes. Integrating IFS involves explicitly thanking the protectors and checking back in with the internal system before ending the session. This ensures that the whole system feels respected which drastically reduces the possibility of a post session backlash.

Conclusion

Integrating EMDR therapy and IFS Parts Work Therapy combines the best aspects of both trauma therapies including the rapid processing of EMDR and the gentle non-pathologizing aspects of IFS.

Get Help in IFS-Informed EMDR Therapy

Whereas traditional talk therapy is a top-down approach, both EMDR and IFS are bottom up approaches (see my article: What is the "Top Down" and "Bottom Up" Approaches to Trauma Therapy?).

Get Help in IFS-Informed EMDR Therapy

If traditional talk therapy hasn't been effective in helping you to heal from trauma, you could benefit from working with a licensed mental health professional who integrates the best aspects of EMDR and IFS.

Rather than struggling on your own, seek help with this integrated approach so you can work through trauma and live a more fulfilling life.

About Me

I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, IFS Parts Work, AEDP, Somatic Experiencing and Certified Sex Therapist.

As a trauma therapist, I have helped many individual adults and couples over the years.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Also See My Articles:

Combining EMDR and IFS to Overcome Emotional Blocks 

EMDR Therapy - When Traditional Talk Therapy Isn't Enough 

How Are Emotions Processed in EMDR? 

What Are Imaginal Interweaves in EMDR?

What is the Connection Between IFS and Neural Networks?