Discovering Your Happiness Triggers

I'm discussing  triggers from a different perspective than how I usually discuss them as a trauma therapist (see my article: What is a Trauma Therapist?).

What Are Triggers?

Therapists, especially trauma therapists, tend to focus on trauma triggers because it's helpful for traumatized clients to know how to recognize and cope with triggers. But it's also important to recognize happiness triggers to add to the quality of your life.

Although the word "trigger" tends to have a negative connotation, psychologically speaking, triggers are neither negative or positive. Triggers are experiences that evoke memories. 

What Are Happiness Triggers?

Happiness triggers refers to rituals and routines we engage in to tap into positive memories and cultivate positive experiences.

Discovering Your Happiness Triggers

The term "happiness triggers" is usually associated with Valorie Burton, life coach, author and motivational speaker.

What Are the Benefits of Discovering Your Happiness Triggers?

Discovering your happiness triggers can be a way of starting new positive habits because these triggers are associated with positive experiences and they can motivate you to develop positive habits.

Happiness triggers can also serve as an anchor in your life.

When happiness triggers evoke positive experiences, they access positive memories that are neurochemically wired in your brain.  

Happiness triggers can also help to pull you out of a funk when you're feeling low.

How to Develop Happiness Triggers

Happiness triggers are based on individual experiences, memories, needs, interests and values so they will be unique for each person.

Discovering Your Happiness Triggers

To discover your own unique happiness triggers, start by thinking about the small things in your life in the present or in the past that lift your mood and energy. It can be as simple as the ritual of having your morning coffee or tea, listening to your favorite podcast, taking a walk in the park and so on.

If you're still unsure, practice being present in the moment to experiences that bring you joy. Pay attention to your bodily experiences when you experience memories that were joyful or  evoke a sense of well-being.

Happiness Triggers Require Practice

Once you have discovered your unique happiness triggers, you need to practice them over and over again in order to develop them into positive habits.

These new habits can include behavioral, cognitive (thinking) or emotional triggers.

Behavioral Happiness Triggers

Behavioral happiness might include:

• Exercising

• Yoga
  

Discovering Your Happiness Triggers

• Going for a walk in nature

• Dancing

• Listening to music

• Performing an act of kindness for someone

• Reading a favorite book

• Engaging in a favorite hobby

Cognitive (Thinking) Happiness Triggers

Cognitive happiness triggers might include:

• Reframing negative thoughts with positive self talk or affirmations

• Making friends with your inner critic

• Recalling and re-experiencing positive memories and experiences

• Practicing mindfulness meditation
  

Emotional Happiness Triggers

• Practicing gratitude by keeping a gratitude journal

• Practicing acceptance and self compassion

Discovering Your Happiness Triggers

• Engaging your five senses (sight, sound, taste, smell and touch)

• Getting a massage

• Getting a manicure

• Playing a sport

• Connecting or reconnecting with a friend or loved one

Conclusion

Developing and practicing happiness triggers can increase your sense of joy and well-being.

Discovering Your Happiness Triggers

You can also discover happiness triggers by connecting to your inner world and connecting to a loved one to discover what is most meaningful and fulfilling to you.

About Me

I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT (for couples), Somatic Experiencing and Sex Therapist.

I have over 20 years of experience helping individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

How to Cope With News Anxiety

Do you feel overwhelmed by the news? (see my article: Living With Uncertainty).

Coping With News Anxiety

If you do, you're not alone. 

I'm hearing about news anxiety from almost everyone I know who is anxious about what they're hearing on the news (see my article:  Self Care During Turbulent Times).

How News Anxiety Can Affect You

News anxiety can affect your mental health in many ways including:

• Feeling frustrated, powerless and helpless
• Having sleep problem (see my article: Tips to Improve Your Sleep)
• Feeling depressed
• Feeling anxious
  
• Anxiety-related health problems
• Over or under-eating
• Other anxiety-related symptoms

How to Cope With News Anxiety

• Make Self Care a Priority: It's important to have self care routines including:
• Meditation
  
• Listening to music
• Doing a breathing exercise

Make Self Care a Priority

• Taking a relaxing bath
• Reading or listening to a book you like
• Enjoying your favorite movie, podcast or TV program
• Engaging in hobbies you enjoy

Staying Physically Active

• Staying physically active
• Eating nutritious meals
• Getting good sleep
• Walking in nature (see my article: Walking in Nature Can Improve Your Mood)

• Choose a Reliable Source of Information: Use good judgment when you're selecting your news source. Choose a news source which is known to be reliable. Don't rely solely on social media because there's a lot of misinformation on social media.

• Limit the Time You Watch or Listen to the News: It's important to be well informed, but that doesn't mean listening or watching the news for hours. In many cases, the same news is being rebroadcast over and over again. That means that you're watching or listening to the same disturbing information multiple times and possibly seeing the same disturbing images. 

• Avoid Doomscrolling: Don't spend a lot of time scrolling negative posts on social media. 

Put Your Phone Away at Night to Get Better Sleep

• Turn Your Phone Off and Put It Away at Night: Have a wind down routine before going to sleep. Scrolling on your phone, texting or reading or listening to the news at night when you need to relax can make you anxious and keep you up. Turn off your phone and put it away so you can get the rest you need.

• Try to Find Positive News Story: While it's true that there's lots of bad news, there are also positive stories. Try to find positive and inspiring stories so you don't feel like everything is doomed.

• Maintain Positive Social Connections: It's easy to feel alone and overwhelmed by the news, so it's important to stay connected with friends and loved ones. If you can't see them in person, give them a call or meet online.  

Maintain Positive Social Connections

• Get Involved to Feel Empowered and Make a Difference: There are many positive advocacy and social justice organizations where you can donate your time and money. Find the ones you like and find out what they're doing to overcome problems. When you get involved, you're can make a difference. When you feel you're making a difference, you're less likely to feel helpless and hopeless. You will also be around other like-minded people so you won't feel alone.

Get Involved to Feel Empowered

• Be Aware That the News Might Be Triggering Unresolved Trauma: If you have unresolved trauma, listening to disturbing news can not only increase your anxiety--it can also trigger unresolved trauma. This can increase feelings of anxiety, hopelessness and helplessness. If this is happening to you, you could benefit from working with a trauma therapist to resolve your trauma so it no longer gets triggered (see my article: How Does Trauma Therapy Work?).

Getting Help in Therapy

News anxiety can have a negative impact on your mental health including triggering unresolved trauma. 

Get Help in Therapy

If unresolved trauma is getting triggered, you could benefit from working with a trauma therapist.

        See my article: How Trauma Therapy Can Help You Overcome Unresolved Trauma

Rather than struggling on your own, seek help from a licensed mental health professional who has the training and expertise to help you to overcome unresolved trauma so you can lead a more fulfilling life free of your trauma.

Also see my article: Strategies For Coping With Post-Election Stress

About Me

I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT (for couples), Somatic Experiencing and Sex Therapist.

I work with individual adults and couples.

As a trauma therapist with over 20 years of expertise, I have helped many clients to overcome trauma (see my article: What is a Trauma Therapist?).

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

 

Coping With Trauma: Managing Sexual Abuse Triggers

I've written about trauma related to sexual abuse in a prior article (see my article: Overcoming the Trauma of Childhood Sexual Abuse).

In the current article, I'm focusing on sexual abuse triggers, which are common experiences for many adults who experienced childhood sexual abuse (see my article: Coping With Trauma: Becoming Aware of Triggers).

Managing Sexual Abuse Triggers

Sexual abuse occurs regardless of age, gender, sexual orientation, race, ethnicity or other identifying factors.

Childhood sexual abuse can be especially confusing because children are emotionally and physically vulnerable. 

Sexual abuse often occurs when children are told they can trust certain adults, including a parent, sibling, other family members, family friends, babysitters, teachers, pastors/religious leaders and others who turn out to be sexually abusive.

Managing Sexual Abuse Triggers

When children are sexually abused by people they're told they can trust, they often don't know how to react to the abuse or what they should do.  

Worse still, people who sexually abuse children often threaten children if the children reveal the abuse. They might tell them that the child will get in trouble or that they could be taken away from their parents. This often forces children into silence.

Even when children reveal their sexual abuse to adults, adults might not believe them--either because the adults are in denial about the situation or they might have their own blind spots about sexual abuse because of their own unresolved experiences.

What is a Trigger?

Generally speaking, a trigger is an experience that brings back a previous traumatic experience.

The trigger can result from something you see, hear, smell, taste or feel (tactile). 

    Examples of Sensory Triggers

Here are some examples of sensory triggers:

• Visual Triggers: 
• You see someone who looks like the person who sexually abused you.

• You see a location that looks similar to where you were abused.

• You see a TV program, movie or a broadcast news story that reminds you of your experience.

• Sound Triggers:
• You hear a sound that is similar to what you experienced as part of your trauma (e.g., the sound of someone coming up the stairs might remind you of what you heard just before the person who abused you entered your bedroom).

• You hear a song you heard when you were being abused.

• You hear a voice that is similar to the voice of the person who abused you.

• Scent Triggers:
• You smell alcohol which is similar to the smell of the person who abused you.

• You smell cologne, which is similar to the scent of the person who abused you.

• You smell the type of food that was being cooked downstairs while you were being abused in your bedroom.

• Taste Triggers:
• You taste a particular food that is associated with your experience of sexual abuse.

• You taste a particular alcoholic drink that was given to you by the person who abused you.

• You taste a particular candy that your abuser gave you.

• Touch Triggers
• You experience a sense of touch by someone in your current life (e.g., a hug from a friend or a touch on the shoulder) that reminds you of how you were touched by the person who abused you.

• You experience a sexual touch by your partner as being similar to what you experienced with the person who abused you.

• You experience the sensation of a particular fabric that you associate with your history of abuse.

    Examples of Other Types of Triggers: A trigger can be anything. Here are just a few examples of other types of triggers:

• You feel triggered by your partner's compliments because the person who abused you would compliment you.

• You feel triggered by a stranger's gaze because the person who used to abuse you also gazed at you in the same way.

• You feel triggered when your friend gets angry with you because the person who abused you got angry with you whenever you tried to set boundaries with them.

How You Experience Triggers

Some triggers can transport you back to the original trauma in terms of bringing you back directly to that experience in the form of a flashback.

Managing Sexual Abuse Triggers

Depending upon your particular experience, you might feel like you're actually back in that memory and lose awareness of your current surroundings. Or, you might remain aware of your current surroundings, but the experience brings a strong reminder of the traumatic memories.

Other triggers might not completely bring you back to the original trauma, but you might experience the emotions related to the abuse (see my article: What Are Emotional Flashbacks?).

Coping With Guilt and Shame

Many people who were sexually abused as children are aware on an intellectual level that they were not to blame for being abused.

But, on an emotional level, they might experience guilt and shame and blame themselves for the abuse (see my articles: Overcoming Shame and Overcoming Guilt).

Coping with Shame Related to Childhood Sexual Abuse

In retrospect, you might be experiencing guilt and shame for not being able to stop the abuse (What is the Difference Between Guilt and Shame?).

You might also feel guilt and shame for experiencing physical pleasure, which is a normal bodily response--even though you didn't want the abuse to occur.

No matter what your experience of guilt and shame, you were not to blame for what happened to you.

Coping With Guilt Related to Childhood Sexual Abuse

Managing Sexual Abuse Triggers

• Getting Emotional Support From Trusted Loved Ones: If you have trusted people in your life who know and love you, you can seek emotional support from them. Just being able to talk about what happened to you, instead of keeping to yourself, can be helpful--but only if you're sure this person will be supportive.

• Practicing Grounding Techniques: Grounding techniques help you to calm yourself when you're being triggered (see my article: Grounding Techniques).

• Accessing a Supportive Part of Yourself: The sexual abuse trauma can be located within a traumatized part of yourself, but you also probably have other positive parts that can help with positive self talk to help you when you're feeling triggered.

• Seeking Help in Trauma Therapy: Supportive loved ones can be helpful, but they can't help you work through the unresolved trauma. A skilled mental health professional who is trained as a trauma therapist can help you to overcome triggers, develop a more resilient self and help you to free yourself from your traumatic history (see my article: Overcoming Your Fear of Asking For Help).

How Does Trauma Therapy Work?

Trauma therapy helps clients to process unresolved trauma (see my article: How Does Trauma Therapy Work?).

There are different types of trauma therapy including (but not limited to):

• EMDR Therapy (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing): How Does EMDR Therapy Work?

• AEDP (Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Therapy): What is AEDP?

• Parts Work Therapy (Ego States Therapy and Internal Family Systems [IFS]): What is Parts Work Therapy?

• Somatic Experiencing: The Benefits of Somatic Experiencing to Overcome Trauma

• Hypnotherapy (also known as Clinical Hypnosis): What is Clinical Hypnosis?

About Me

I am a licensed New York City psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT (for couples), Somatic Experiencing and Sex Therapist.

I work with individual adults and couples.

As a trauma therapist, I have helped many clients to overcome their history of trauma so they can live more fulfilling lives.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Learn to Stop Overspending as a Way to Avoid Uncomfortable Feelings

Overspending as a way to ward off uncomfortable feelings, like anxiety or depression, can quickly lead to being over your head in debt, which can result in increased anxiety and depression.  

Learn to Stop Overspending as a Way to Avoid Uncomfortable Feelings

Overspending Can Become a Vicious Cycle With No End in Sight
Many people get caught in a vicious cycle of increased depressive or anxiety-related symptoms and increased overspending and debt, and they don't know how to get out.

Overspending and the Dopamine Rush

It's not just a matter of avoiding uncomfortable emotions. There's also a dopamine rush.  And the dopamine rush from indulging in overspending can be similar to the rush that people get with other impulse control disorder experiences, including drug abuse, sex addiction and gambling.  The dopamine rush itself is a powerful reinforcer for this cycle.

The problem with the dopamine rush is that it's short lived, so you have to spend again to get the next "hit."  This can fuel an endless cycle of overspending to ward off uncomfortable feelings, increased uncomfortable feelings and then increased overspending, and so on.

You Don't Have to Be in Serious Debt to Have a Problem With Overspending
You don't have to be thousands of dollars in debt to have a problem.  Just like the person who has a problem with alcohol, problems with overspending usually starts small and then become increasingly worse.

Ask yourself:
"Do I tend to go shopping or engage in other excessive spending when I'm anxious, depressed, angry or experiencing other uncomfortable feelings?

If you're honest with yourself and you detect a pattern, you'll admit to yourself that you have a problem and take steps to overcome this problem.

What Can You Do to Stop Overspending?

Acknowledge You Have a Problem
The first step to overcoming the problem of overspending, like any impulse control problem, is to admit that you have a problem.

Until you admit you have a problem, you're not going to be motivated to change.

Be Aware That Denial Can Be a Powerful Defense Against Admitting You Have a Problem
Denial can be very powerful, even when people are in serious debt.  Even after people realize they have a problem, they will often bargain with themselves by telling themselves things like, "This will be the last time I'll go on a spending spree."

Increase Your Awareness of Your Overspending Habits: What's Your Pattern of Overspending?
Admitting that you have a problem is the first step.  The next step is to increase your awareness of your particular pattern.

Everyone has a particular pattern of overspending, so you'll need to pay extra close attention to discover  your pattern.

Keep a Journal
I recommend keeping a journal.

Initially, until you can stop overspending, you might be writing about your spending habits after you've engaged in overspending.  The goal is to, eventually, get the point where you've become so aware of your overspending habits that you catch yourself before you give into the impulse to overspend.

You can set up your journal in whatever way works best for you.  One way that I recommend is to track what uncomfortable emotions came up and under what circumstances so that you can see what triggers the overspending (see details given below in the scenario about Ann):

Keep a Budget
People who overspend often have little to no awareness on how they spend their money.  Part of this lack of awareness is that the overspending is compartmentalized in their mind to keep themselves from feeling the discomfort of how serious their problem really is, which is a form of denial.

When you keep a budget by writing down how much to spend on each category and then track and write down what you actually spent, it can be a real eye opener.   And this can be the beginning of getting out of denial.

Attend Debtors Anonymous
Debtors Anonymous is a 12 Step program that helps people who have problems with overspending.  People who attend Debtors Anonymous meetings provide each other with mutual support.  If you go to the link above, you can find more information about this program and a meeting that is located near you.

The following scenario, which is a composite of many different cases with all identifying information changed to protect confidentiality, is an example of how someone who was able to get help for her overspending problem:

Ann
When Ann first came to see me, she was in serious debt.  She came in because she and her husband were having marital problems because of her overspending.

Initially, Ann didn't think she had a problem with overspending.  She came because she was afraid that all the arguing between her and her husband would lead to a divorce, and she didn't want to lose her husband.  But she made no connection between their arguments and her spending habits.  She felt her husband was overreacting.

Denial was very powerful for Ann.  And, initially, when I asked Ann about her debt, her thinking became fuzzy so she couldn't remember how much in debt she was or the specific information about who she owed money to, etc.

So, I asked Ann to bring in her bills and credit card statements.  This was emotionally painful for Ann because, without realizing it, she was doing everything possible to avoid allowing herself to see how big a problem she had.  She also felt very ashamed.

With the information in hand, we were able to see that she was close to $100,000 in debt, which was shocking to Ann.  It's not that she didn't know this on some level but, until now, she kept herself from allowing this information from really sinking in emotionally.  And, as you would expect, the anxiety of allowing the information to sink made her feel like she wanted to go out and make an impulsive purchase to ward off her anxiety.

So, we worked on helping Ann to develop better coping skills because she was using the rush of overspending to ward off anxiety.  A big part of her developing coping skills, aside from getting more physical exercise and learning to meditate, was keeping a journal to track the triggers to her overspending.

Based on my recommendation on how to set up her journal to understand her pattern of overspending, Ann set up her journal with the following four columns:

• Date and Time
• The Trigger (or Precipitating Event):  What Was Going on at the Time?
• What Emotion Goes With the Trigger?
• How Did I Overspend?

Then, she wrote a narrative about how she felt about this incident of overspending.

When she first began writing in her journal, Ann was writing about the event after the fact most of the time because she was still struggling with her impulse to overspend.

Developing an awareness before she gave into her impulse was very challenging at first.

But even after she was more aware and she realized that she was about to give into the impulse, she would bargain with herself by telling herself that "this would be the last time."  Unfortunately, there were many so-called "last times" before she could get to the point where she could catch herself before she gave into the impulse.

Eventually, Ann was able to write in her journal when she got the urge to overspend and she learned not to give in most of the time.

The challenge after that was for Ann to deal with the uncomfortable feelings that were at the start of her impulsive cycles of overspending, and we did this in her therapy.

Learning to Cope: Developing the Capacity to Tolerate Uncomfortable Feelings
Since the impulse to ward off uncomfortable feelings is usually at the beginning of the cycle of overspending, developing an ability to identify them and the capacity to tolerate uncomfortable feelings is an important part of the work in therapy.

During the course of a lifetime, everyone experiences loss, small trauma and, for many people, big trauma.  If, for whatever reason, you never developed the capacity to tolerate uncomfortable feelings, you can be at risk for engaging in impulsive behavior.  And if you're already engaging in impulsive behavior, it's harder to stop until you develop this capacity.

Getting Help
Along with attending Debtors Anonymous, many people have been helped by working with a licensed psychotherapist who has an expertise in helping people who have problems with overspending, especially when they're attempting to deal with their emotional triggers.

If you have problems with overspending, you owe it to yourself and your loved ones to get help.  Avoiding the problem will only result in the problem getting worse since, like most impulse control problems, problems with overspending is progressive and gets worse over time.

Getting help from a licensed therapist can help you to lead a more satisfying and meaningful life.

About Me

I am a licensed NYC psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR and Somatic Experiencing therapist who works with individual adults and couples.

I have helped many people to overcome their impulsive habits, including overspending, so they can lead more fulfilling lives.

To find out more about me, visit my website:  Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

How to Use "Anchors" to Cope With Trauma-Related Triggers - Part 2

In Part 1 of this topic, I defined anchors and how they are used to cope with psychological triggers based on a history of trauma. 

If you haven't read Part 1, I suggest you read that article first to understand the current article.

How to Use Anchors to Cope With Triggers

In the current article, I'm providing examples of how anchors can be used for trauma-related triggers as well as other situations where you might feel anxious, emotionally overwhelmed or stressed.

Anchors can be used between therapy sessions to help you cope with disturbing thoughts, feelings or memories that might come up for you. 

Note: If you're in therapy, always speak to your therapist first before you try using anchors or any other type of resource or coping skill.

Examples of How to Use Anchors to Cope

As mentioned in my prior article, anchors can be used any time you're experiencing distress. Your experience doesn't need to be trauma related.

Here are two examples of how to use external and internal anchors (the cases presented below are composites of many cases with different names and all identifying information removed to protect confidentiality):

    Panic Attacks

Panic attacks bring intense fear and physical reactions, including symptoms of depersonalization (a condition where the person feels disconnected from their body, emotions and environment) where there is no real danger or apparent cause. Panic attacks are frightening. Some people feel they are losing control or even dying when they have a panic attack (see my article: Tips For Coping With Panic Attacks).

    Using An External Anchor

    John

John can usually sense when he's about to have a panic attack because he starts to feel disconnected from his body. 

His panic attacks have been much less frequent since he started working with an Experiential Therapist.  However, he still gets them from time to time, so his therapist recommended that he carry a small stone in his pocket which is meaningful to him because he found the stone when he was a child looking for an unusual stone with his grandfather. 

When he feels the onset of a panic attack, John holds the stone in his hand and it brings back happy memories of feeling safe and secure with his grandfather, and it helps to ground and calm him. 

Journaling Between Therapy Sessions

Once he is calm again, he writes about his experience in his journal to put words to his experience and to be able to discuss what happened at his next session with his psychotherapist (see my article: The Benefits of Journaling Between Therapy Sessions).

    Using an Internal Anchor

    Alice

Since she started EMDR Therapy, Alice rarely has panic attacks anymore. 

Prior to EMDR therapy, she would have a panic attack whenever she visited her parents. She would feel like she was a helpless and hopeless child again (see my article: Feeling Like a Helpless Child Again During Family Visits).

However, even though she is coping better with triggers involved with being around her parents, there are still times she feels like she regresses when her parents criticize her.

Her therapist taught her to use an internal anchor based on the Somatic Experiencing concept of pendulation, which is also called oscillation in Sensorimotor Psychotherapy (see my article: Coping with Emotional Distress By Using the Somatic Experiencing Technique of Pendulation).

Pendulation is similar to Babette Rothschild's concept of Dual Awareness which she writes about in her book, The Body Remembers: The Psychophysiology of Trauma and Trauma Treatment.

Similar to a swinging pendulum or watching a pendulum on a grandfather clock, pendulation involves shifting your awareness back and forth between a sense of safety in one part of your body to the emotional activation in another part of your body.

In Alice's case, she learned in therapy how to use her felt sense in her body to identify a place of safety. Most of the time, her place of safety is in her heart area.  She also learned to identify areas in her body of anxious activation which usually involves her stomach.

Pendulation For Coping

When she is on the verge of having a panic attack or she is actually having a panic attack, Alice senses into her place of safety, her heart, and she senses the feeling of safety. Her heart area is her internal anchor. 

Then she senses briefly into the area where she feels anxious, her stomach, and she shifts her awareness back to her chest, her place of safety. She continues to pendulate her awareness back and forth between her place of safety and her place of anxious activation until she is able to calm herself. 

Then she talks about what triggered her in her next therapy session so she and her therapist can work on this issue.

Other Examples of When to Use Anchors:

As previously mentioned, you can also use anchors for temporary relief when you feel 

• Anxious
• Stressed
• Emotionally overwhelmed or flooded 
• Other types of emotional distress

Internal Anchors vs External Anchors

The external anchors tend to be easier for most people to use because they are meaningful concrete objects that you can carry with you: a stone, a shell, a picture of a relaxing place, and so on.

The internal anchors take practice to learn. If you're adapt at sensing emotions in your body, you can learn to detect where you feel safe in your body and where you feel activated.  If not, you will need to practice sensing emotions and activation in your body with a therapist who works in an embodied/experiential way.

Sensing emotions and activation in your body is one of the skills Experiential Therapists help clients to develop. It's a very useful skill because you can use it on your own between sessions or whenever you need it. 

If you're trying this on your own, you might want to start with an external anchor, especially if you haven't yet developed the felt sense skill.

Getting Help in Therapy

If you have been struggling on your own, you could benefit from seeking help from an Experiential Therapist.

Experiential Therapy is an umbrella term for mind-body oriented therapy modalities like:

• EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapy
• AEDP (Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy)
• Somatic Experiencing
• Hypnotherapy
• Emotionally Focused Therapy, among others

Getting Help in Experiential Therapy

A skilled Experiential Therapist can help you overcome obstacles that keep you from living a  meaningful and more fulfilling life.

About Me

I am a licensed New York City experiential psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, Emotionally Focused Therapist for couples, Somatic Experiencing and Sex Therapist.

I work with individual adults and couples (see my article: What is a Trauma Therapist?).

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

 

How to Use "Anchors" to Cope With Trauma-Related Triggers - Part 1

As a trauma therapist in New York City, one of the questions I often get from clients is how to  cope with trauma-related triggers (see my article: Reacting to Your Present Circumstances Based on Your Traumatic Past).

Using Anchors For Trauma-Related Triggers

What Are Trauma-Related Triggers?

A trauma-related trigger is a psychological stimulus that causes an involuntary recall of a previous traumatic experience (see my article: Becoming Aware of Psychological Triggers).

Trauma triggers are also called a trauma stimulus, a trauma stressor or a trauma reminder.

The trigger doesn't have to be directly related to traumatic memories from the past. It can be indirectly or superficially related to these memories. 

When someone experiences a trauma trigger, they often feel overwhelmed. 

Some people experience panic attacks or a flashback, including an emotional flashback.

Using Anchors For Trauma-Related Triggers

If someone is really overwhelmed, they might feel the urge to flee the situation or they might freeze (become immobilized) in place (the trauma responses are fight, flight, freeze or fawn).

They might also try to avoid situations where they might get triggered, but this isn't always possible and, even when it is, it's not a solution to the problem. 

Also, avoidance can lead to a person's life becoming small and narrow with increasing urges to avoid more and more situations (see my article: 8 Tips For Coping With Triggers).

Triggers are personal and specific for each person.

Triggers can include but are not limited to:

• A sight
• A scent
• A sound
• A taste
• A sensation
• An argument
• Certain times of the day
• Specific dates or certain times of the year
• Certain places
• Certain activities
• A certain person or certain people
• Certain emotions
• Certain situations

When someone experiences a trigger, it means that the psychological stimulus goes beyond their window of tolerance so they feel emotionally dysregulated.

Using an anchor can help someone who is triggered to feel emotionally regulated again in the moment. This doesn't mean the problem is resolved. It's a temporary way of self soothing in the moment, but knowing how to self soothe in this way can make a big difference in coping temporarily.

A long term solution would be to work with a trauma therapist who does Experiential Therapy (see my article: What is Experiential Therapy and Why Is It More Effective Than Regular Talk Therapy to Overcome Trauma?).

What Are Anchors?

Basically, anchors are different ways of grounding or emotionally regulating yourself so that, when you are emotionally overwhelmed, you come back into a calmer state of mind in the present moment.

Using Anchors to Calm Yourself

There are many different kinds of anchors.

Choosing an anchor that works for you is a personal choice and you might find that certain anchors work better than others.

Internal Anchors

Internal anchors can include:

• Paying attention to the breathing sensation in your nose

• Focusing on a particular bodily sensation where you feel safe, calm and grounded even if you feel anxious in other parts of your body (see my article: The Mind-Body Connection and Somatic Awareness)

• Engaging in mindfulness meditation (precaution: for some people who have a history of trauma, this can be triggering, so you have to know what works for you)

External Anchors

External anchors can include:

• Touching a particular object (a favorite stone or any small object you can carry with you that is personally meaningful and calming)

• Smelling a particular calming scent (some people carry small bottles of lavender oil with them to smell when they feel triggered)

An Anchor Can Be Listening to Relaxing Music

• Listening to relaxing music

• Seeing natural surroundings in nature where you focus on the particular colors, shapes and, if relevant, textures (some people find it soothing to take a walk in nature and observe the trees, flowers or look up at the clouds)

Next Article

In my next article, I'll expand on this topic with more information about how you can use anchors to cope with triggers: 

How to Use Anchors to Cope With Trauma-Related Triggers - Part 2

Getting Help in Trauma Therapy

As I mentioned earlier in this article, anchors are a resource you can use to calm yourself temporarily when you're experiencing trauma-related triggers, but anchors are not a long term solution.

Getting Help in Trauma Therapy

Working with a trauma therapist who uses Experiential Therapy can help you to overcome trauma so you're no longer triggered.

Experiential Therapy is an umbrella term for different types of mind-body oriented therapy, including:

• EMDR Therapy (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing)

• AEDP (Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy) 

• Somatic Experiencing (a type of Somatic Therapy)

• Parts Work (Ego States Therapy and Internal Family Systems)

Rather than struggling on your own, seek help from a skilled trauma therapist so you can free yourself from your traumatic history and lead a more fulfilling life.

About Me

I am a licensed New York City psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, Somatic Experiencing and Sex Therapist 

I work with individual adults and couples. 

As a trauma therapist, I have helped many clients to overcome psychological trauma (see my article: What is a Trauma Therapist?).

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.