Getting Help in Therapy is a Sign of Strength--Not a Sign of Weakness

Getting help in therapy is a sign of personal strength.  

Going to Therapy is a Sign of Strength

Seeking help is never a sign of weakness or defeat (see my article: Common Myths About Therapy: Going to Therapy Means You're "Weak").

Why Going to Therapy is a Sign of Personal Strength

When someone is ready to begin therapy, far from being a sign of weakness, going to therapy often requires courage to face difficult emotions, possibly confronting social or cultural stigma and making a commitment to change and personal strength.

Going to Therapy of Sign of Strength

A skilled psychotherapist can make the process more manageable by pacing the process to prevent emotional overwhelm.

Why is There a Stigma For Getting Help in Therapy?

Although it's more acceptable for people to get help in therapy these days, many people, who need help, are still afraid to seek help in therapy for a variety of reasons, including that they:

• Judge themselves harshly for needing help and feel ashamed.

• Believe they should just "get over" their problems.

• Believe they would be "self indulgent" or "too self centered" if they went to therapy.

• Believe only rich or famous people attend therapy.

• Think that only "crazy" people seek help in therapy

• Believe their problems are only in their imagination and not "real problems".

Going to Therapy is a Sign of Strength

• Feel they don't deserve help.

• Believe that they must be "weak" if they need help.

• Believe they will have to remain in therapy for a long time to overcome their problems (see my article: Common Myths About Psychotherapy: Therapy Takes a Long Time).

• Worry about what their family and friends might think if they found out that they went to therapy.

• Believe the therapist will judge them.

• Don't know about Federal confidentiality laws, so they believe that their therapist might tell their employer or other people about what they discuss in therapy.

• Believe going to see a therapist means they're paying the therapist to be their "friend," which makes them feel ashamed because they believe a therapist couldn't actually care about them.

What Can You Do to Reduce Your Fear of Getting Help in Therapy?

To reduce your fear or concern, be aware:

• You're not alone.  There are skilled mental health professionals who can help undo your feelings of being alone.

Going to Therapy is a Sign of Strength

• An experienced therapist has a lot of experience helping clients with similar problems to yours and she won't judge you for your problems.

• A licensed psychotherapist can't divulge your information under Federal law without your written consent--unless you're an active harm to yourself or others or you're engaging in child abuse (psychotherapists are mandated reporters and must report child abuse to the state).

• Seeking help in therapy doesn't mean you're "weak." On the contrary, it's a sign of courage and personal strength.

• Seeking help in therapy doesn't mean you're "crazy." Clients who are actively psychotic or delusional usually go to specialized programs--not to individual therapy--to get psychiatrically stabilized.

• Everyone needs help at some point in their lives and everyone is deserving of help.

• You can see a psychotherapist for an initial appointment to see if you feel comfortable with her and to obtain psychoeducation about that therapist works  and about therapy in general (see my article: Why It's Important for Psychotherapists to Provide Psychoeducation About How Therapy Works).

• You decide what your therapy goals are, so you're in charge of of therapy and you can go for as long as you want to go.

• Skilled psychotherapists are empathetic towards their clients' suffering.  You're not paying them to be your "friend."  You're paying them for their expertise and time.

Taking the First Step in Therapy: Making the Call

Most therapists offer a 10-15 minute phone call before setting up an appointment so you can ask basic questions.

Going to Therapy is a Sign of Strength

I usually encourage new clients to think of the first appointment as a session to see if they feel comfortable with me, to ask more questions about how I work and to discuss other similar issues.

Rather than plunging into the depths of their problems, I encourage clients to discuss what they would like to get out of therapy in that first meeting. 

Of course, I'm open to hearing anything, but I find that speaking about their issues in a broad way, rather than diving into the details, helps clients to feel less emotionally vulnerable when we first meet.

After the first appointment, you can decide if you feel it's a good fit or at least good enough to have another appointment.

Get Help in Therapy

If you have been struggling on your own, you could benefit from working with a licensed mental health professional who has the experience and expertise you need.

Get Help in Therapy

Overcoming your problems can free you from your history so you can lead a more fulfilling life.

About Me

I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, IFS Parts Work Therapist, EFT Couples Therapist, Somatic Experiencing and Certified Sex Therapist.

I have helped many individual adults and couples over the years.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

I offer clients a free 10-15 minute phone call before setting up an appointment either in person or online.

You can reach me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Also See My Articles:

Why Do People Go to Therapy?

How to Choose a Psychotherapist 

The Positive Ripple Effect

The Therapeutic Benefits of Integrative Therapy 

Fear of Change 

What is the Approach-Avoidance Conflict in Psychotherapy and How Can IFS Therapy Help?

In my prior article, Why Are So Many of Us Fearful of Change While Others Embrace It?, I mentioned the approach-avoidance conflict as it relates to making changes.

The Approach-Avoidance Conflict

In the current article, I'm focusing on the approach-avoidance conflict as it relates to many clients in therapy.

What is the Approach-Avoidance Conflict in Therapy?

As I mentioned in the prior article, although many people want to make positive changes in their life, they often experience ambivalence about the change--even when it's something they really want.

As a New York psychotherapist in private practice, I see this all the time.

Since it's a common experience, if you learn to expect it, you can learn to accept and deal with that part of yourself that might want to avoid positive change.

So, let's explore this dynamic further.

In psychotherapy, the approach-avoidance conflict is a psychological state of tension that occurs when a client is simultaneously drawn towards and repelled by the exact same goal, action or dynamic.

The approach-avoidance conflict was originally introduced by Kurt Lewin, a psychologist, who described this dynamic as a "tug of war". 

This dynamic is key to understanding why at a certain stage of therapy many clients experience anxiety and stagnation about the changes they want to make.  

What is the Typical Pattern For the Approach-Avoidance Conflict in Therapy?

This conflict often operates on a predictable pattern based on how close clients are to their goal:

• The Approach to a Goal: When clients are far away from a goal, they can see the positive benefits of their goal ("the approach"). This motivates them to move forward.

• The Avoidance of a Goal: As clients move emotionally or physically closer to the goal, many of them begin to perceive negative consequences or fears ("the avoidance") which grows sharply the closer they get to their goal.

• The Point of Stagnation: Eventually, the force of the avoidance equals the force of the approach. At that point, these clients can get stuck as they experience anxiety, indecision or behavioral paralysis.

What Are the Clinical Scenarios Where the Approach-Avoidance Conflict Shows Up in Therapy?

Here are some typical examples:

Intimacy and Relationships:

• The Approach (Pull or Desire): Craving deep emotional connection and a loving relationship.

The Approach-Avoidance Conflict in Therapy

• The Avoidance (Fear): Fear of vulnerability, rejection or losing independence.

• Resulting Behavior: Sabotaging relationships just as they become serious.

Trauma Processing:

• The Approach (Pull or Desire): Wanting to heal, gain closure and reduce traumatic symptoms.

The Approach-Avoidance Conflict in Trauma Therapy

• The Avoidance (Fear): Fear of exploring traumatic memories and emotions.

• Resulting Behavior: Missing sessions or leaving therapy prematurely as the trauma work begins.

Career Change:

• The Approach (Pull or Desire): Desiring a fulfilling, high-paying and prestigious position.

• The Avoidance (Fear): Fear of failure, longer work hours or more responsibilities.

• Resulting Behavior: Procrastination in submitting a job application or applying for a promotion.

Behavioral Change

• The Approach (Pull or Desire): Wanting a healthier body and stable life.

The Approach-Avoidance Conflict and Behavioral Change

• The Avoidance (Fear): Fear of facing reality the necessary changes involved.

• Resulting Behavior: Reverting back to unhealthy behavior, missing sessions or dropping out of therapy prematurely.

How Does IFS Therapy Deal With the Approach-Avoidance Conflict?

IFS (Internal Family Systems) Therapy is uniquely suited for this dynamic (see my article: IFS Therapy is a Gentle Evidence-Based Therapy).

IFS Therapy and the Approach-Avoidance Conflict

The IFS therapist deals with the approach-avoidance conflict by recognizing that clients who experience this dynamic have a clash between two or more parts of themselves.

Instead of trying to push through the conflict, the IFS therapist helps clients to overcome this dilemma by identifying clients' internal parts and identifying the positive intentions of each of the conflicting parts. She also helps clients to negotiate between these conflicting parts.

What is the IFS Therapy Framework For the Approach-Avoidance Conflict?

In IFS, the "approach" and "avoidance" aspects of clients are seen as separate parts of the client who have good intentions. There is a recognition that these conflicting parts have served the client in the past by protecting old emotional wounds:

• The Approach Part: This is usually an internal proactive protective part. This part wants to move forward, achieve goals or seek connection because doing so will bring safety, fulfillment or a sense of increased self worth.

IFS Therapy and the Approach-Avoidance Conflict

• The Avoidance Part: This is usually a reactive protective part. It stops progress because it senses danger. It fears that moving forward will trigger an old emotional wound, shame or trauma from the past.

What is the IFS Therapy Step-By-Step Process For Resolving Internal Conflict?

The IFS therapist will guide the client through the following process to overcome the client's behavioral conflict:

Differentiating the Internal Parts: Instead of saying, "I want to change, but I can't", the therapist helps the client to reframe it: "A part of me wants very much to move forward, and another part of me is terrified to do it." In addition, the therapist helps the client to discover and embody Core Self, which is the compassionate and curious part of the client. This enables the client to look at both of these internal parts without taking sides.

• Honoring The Avoidant Part (The Protector): Traditional psychotherapy often wants to override the client's avoidance. IFS does the opposite: It focuses on the avoidant part first. The IFS therapist asks the client to get curious about the avoidant part by asking: "How is this part protecting you?" and "How did it protect you in the past?". Also, "What is this part afraid will happen if you take this step?" By validating that the avoidant part has a positive intention (e.g., protecting the client from rejection, failure or an old emotional wound), the protecting part usually loosens its grip. This usually doesn't happen immediately because the avoidant part must first learn to trust the Core Self of the client as well as the intention of the therapist.

IFS Therapy and the Approach-Avoidance Conflict

• Facilitating Internal Negotiation: Once each of the conflicting parts feels heard and seen by the client's Core Self and the therapist, the therapist helps the client to invite these parts to talk to each other. The Core Self might ask the avoidant part, "If I promise to go very slowly and protect you, would you be willing to allow the approach part to take a small step?" Since this protective/avoidant part is no longer being resisted or ignored, it usually agrees to soften or step aside temporarily.

• Working With the Wounded Part: Ultimately, the avoidant part is hypervigilant because it's protecting the wounded part of the client. Once this protector feels safe enough to step aside, the IFS therapist guides the Core Self to witness, work through the original trauma and heal. When the underlying emotional pain and trauma have been resolved, the avoidant/protector part usually drops the avoidant behavior because the underlying danger no longer exists.

Clinical Vignette

The following clinical vignette illustrates how the approach-avoidance conflict is overcome in IFS therapy:

John

When John met Donna, he felt a strong attraction to her and he asked her to go out on a date.

As they got to know each other, they both enjoyed each other's company and the new relationship energy that comes with being in a new relationship.

A few months later, as the relationship became more serious, Donna wanted a commitment from John but, even though he knew he loved Donna, he felt himself pulling away from her and he didn't understand what was happening to him.

At that point, Donna's friends told her she should end the relationship because they thought John was a "commitment-phobe".  But Donna felt John was struggling with some kind of internal conflict and she wanted to give him a chance to overcome the conflict, so she suggested that he get help in therapy.

IFS Therapy and the Approach-Avoidance Conflict

Since John also wanted to understand why he felt so conflicted about making a commitment with Donna, he started therapy with an IFS therapist.

John had never heard of IFS therapy, but he was curious as to how it might help him to overcome his internal conflict.

Over time, as they explored John's family history, they discovered that John had an unresolved trauma related to his mother's anxiety and depression. When he was a child, John felt he was unlovable because his mother was emotionally distant and his father was often away on business.

With the help of his therapist, John realized that this old emotional wound was making him feel emotionally vulnerable with Donna in a way where a part of him wanted to escape the relationship, but another part of him wanted to remain, which reflected his ambivalence.

The work in therapy was neither quick nor easy, but John was motivated to work through his internal conflict about making a commitment to Donna. With the help of his therapist, he was able to see the good intention of the avoidant part of him and how it protected him in the past when he was a child.

His therapist guided John into feeling curious and compassionate towards this avoidant/protector part so that, eventually, it softened enough so he and his therapist could work on his traumatized wounded child part.

Over time, John was gradually able to let go of his fear because he had an embodied sense that, unlike when he was a child, he was now safe and more capable of being in a committed relationship with Donna.

Once he was freed from his traumatic history, John made a commitment to Donna and they moved in together with the eventual goal of getting married.

Conclusion

Although many people want to make positive changes in their life, they often experience an ambivalence about the change as the change becomes more of a reality--even when it's something they really want.

In psychotherapy, the approach-avoidance conflict is a common psychological state of tension that occurs when a client is simultaneously drawn towards and repelled by the exact same goal, action or dynamic.

This is a common experience in therapy. 

In traditional psychotherapy, therapists often try to push through the ambivalence, which can make a client feel even more ambivalent, so this usually doesn't work.

An IFS therapist recognizes that we all have many different internal parts and some of these parts are polarized so they are in opposition to each other. They also recognize that this is often outside a client's awareness, so they reach for the ambivalence so it can be worked on.

IFS therapy is ideally suited for dealing with the approach-avoidance conflict.

Get Help in IFS Therapy

If you are stuck in an approach-avoidance dilemma, rather than struggling on your own, you could benefit from working with an IFS therapist.

Get Help in IFS Therapy

Being able to work through the conflict provides you with an opportunity to live a more fulfilling life.

About Me

I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, IFS Parts Work Therapist, EFT Couples Therapist, Somatic Experiencing and Certified Sex Therapist.

I have helped many individual adults and couples over the years.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

I provide a free 10-15 minute telephone call before setting up an appointment.

You can contact me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or you can email me.

Also See My Articles:

Fear of Change 

Overcoming Recurring Patterns of Self Sabotaging Behavior 

Strategies For Making Major Changes in Your Life 

What is Somatic IFS?

Why Are So Many of Us Fearful of Change While Others Embrace It?

According to the latest research, while some people embrace change wholeheartedly, the vast majority of us don't like change--especially change we haven't chosen because it gets us out of our comfort zone.

Making Changes

As a New York City psychotherapist in private practice, I get to see how people respond to making changes--even changes they want--with a mixture of anxious anticipation, fear and ambivalence. 

On the surface, this might not seem to make sense. After all, you might say, if people are coming to therapy voluntarily because they want to make changes, why wouldn't they respond to change with open arms?

As we explore further, although it might not make sense objectively, it does make psychological sense.

Why Is Change so Hard For Most of Us?

When we look beyond the surface, we see that what most people really dislike is the lack of control and the uncertainty involved. 

Looking even further, we discover that, while we might like certain changes that we have chosen--like traveling on a much-anticipated vacation, falling in love or getting a raise at work, we tend to feel resistance to involuntary changes that are imposed on us.

Involuntary change might include:

• An unexpected life event like the death of a loved one, a new health concern or the end of a relationship where there is grief and loss

• A workplace restructuring that might involve reporting to someone new

• A financial loss

• Other similar unexpected changes

Under these involuntary circumstances, the pain and loss can feel confusing and threatening.

Why Do We Have Mixed Feelings About Change We Seek in Therapy?

The individual adults and couples I see in my private practice are all voluntary clients. None of them are mandated to come to therapy.

Making Changes in Therapy

They usually come to therapy, spending their time and hard-earned money in the effort, because some part of them wants to make changes. 

But, for most us, as we begin the change process, we also begin to have mixed feelings about it--even for changes that we really want.

Why is this?

Part of the answer is that the human brain naturally prioritizes predictability and comfort over the discomfort of growth. Even when a change is highly desired and voluntarily chosen, the status quo represents a survival strategy or behavioral pattern that has kept us safe, comfortable or, at least, it was familiar. 

With regard to safe and familiar, as the saying goes, "Better the devil you know than the devil you don't."

In psychotherapy this ambivalence is called the "approach-avoidance conflict" which means that we are simultaneously drawn to the benefits of change and a better life while also being repelled by the fear and effort to change.

In addition, maladaptive behaviors always serve a purpose--even if we don't know what that purpose might be. 

Making Changes in IFS Therapy

For instance, according to IFS Therapy (Internal Family Systems Therapy), we all have many different aspects of ourselves, including protector parts, also known as defense mechanisms in psychodynamic psychotherapy. 

It's common to have protector parts that resist change because these parts assumed these roles in order to "protect" a wounded traumatized part of us.

These protector parts have "good intentions" in terms of their protective roles. Most likely, they were useful at an earlier time in our life as a survival mechanism, but their impact becomes maladaptive as we become adults and these survival mechanisms hold us back. 

For instance, if we learned to become emotionally numb in a dysfunctional family when our parents were fighting, the emotional numbness might have protected us from feeling the overwhelming pain of being abused or neglected.

But, as an adult, becoming emotionally numb while our spouse is telling us how annoyed they are about something we did isn't adaptive anymore. As adults, we need to be attuned and attentive to what our partner is saying if we want our relationship to survive.

We might really want to be a good partner, but if we have a tendency to numb ourselves (also known as "zoning out") when our partner is complaining to us, being present would mean taking the emotional risk that we are now safe enough with our partner to let go of a long-standing defense mechanism, which isn't easy to do.

Another example: If we are working on unresolved trauma, we know logically that our life would be better once we no longer carry the burden of the psychological trauma, but dealing with painful unprocessed emotions might make us want to abandon the effort.

How Can the Change Process Be Easier to Manage?

As a trauma therapist, I can't eliminate the emotional pain with making changes, especially if the change involves processing unresolved trauma, but I can and do help clients to process trauma in manageable ways when possible (see my article: Coping With Emotional Distress in Experiential Therapy Using the Somatic Experiencing Technique of Pendulation).

Although change might not be easy, there are ways to make it more manageable with the help of an experienced therapist:

• Shift Out of An All-or-Nothing Mindset: All-or-nothing thinking sets us up for disappointment when we don't make difficult changes immediately. 

Get Curious About the Change Process

• Adopt Non-Judgemental Curiosity: Instead of viewing fear and ambivalence as a personal failure, get curious about your change process (see my article: How to Develop a Curious Mindset).

• Acknowledge Protective Habits: Recognize that old habits that are no longer adaptive once kept you feeling safe.

• Separate Fear From Action: Learn to carry the physical sensation of fear in therapy while you take steps to make changes.

Progress Isn't Linear

• Expect Non-Linear Progress: Expect that growth involves inevitable ups and downs. Progress isn't a straight line (see my article: Progress in Therapy Isn't Linear).

• Identify What is Controllable: Instead of focusing on what isn't controllable, focus on what you can control right now.

• Remember Prior Resilience: Write down the times when you were able to successfully make changes due to unexpected events and recognize that you probably still have the resilience to make changes now--especially if you approach change in a manageable way rather than all at once.

Challenge Catastrophic Thinking

• Challenge Catastrophic Thinking: Evaluate whether your fears are realistic or if your mind is focusing only on worst-case scenarios (see my article: Are You Catastrophizing?).

• Process Long-Term Regret: Forgive yourself for waiting until now to make changes so that guilt doesn't become an obstacle to making changes.

Conclusion

Change can be difficult.

Even when you seek help in therapy to make much-needed changes, you can experience an approach-avoidance conflict about the process.

Get Help in Therapy

There are steps you can take in the change process, with the help of a therapist, that can make the change more manageable.

In addition, choosing a therapist that allows you to feel safe enough to make changes is important--not only for making changes--but also to have a new experience of safety if you weren't safe when you were growing up (see my article: How to Choose a Psychotherapist).

About Me

I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, IFS/Parts Work Therapist, EFT Couples Therapist, Somatic Experiencing and Certified Sex Therapist.

As an experienced therapist, I have helped many individual adults and couples to make positive change over the years.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

I provide a free 10-15 minute phone call before setting up a first appointment.

To set up an appointment, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Also See My Articles:

Overcoming Your Fear of Making Changes

What is a Growth Mindset vs a Fixed Mindset?

Coping With the In-Between State of Change

Why It's Important For Therapists to Provide Clients With Information About How Therapy Works

How Does the "Hero's Journey" Help You to Cope With Big Changes in Your Life?

Joseph Campbell and The Power of Myth

Ever since I first became aware of Joseph Campbell's work while watching the PBS series, "Joseph Campbell and the Power of Myth" in 1988, I have been an admirer of his work, especially his book, The Hero With a Thousand Faces, and how his concepts can be used to cope with personal change.

The Hero's Journey

When I was a social work graduate student many years ago, I did an internship at an agency for homeless men many of whom had mental health and substance abuse problems. When my supervisor recommended that I do a group for the clients, I knew I wanted to introduce the concepts of the "Hero's Journey" to these clients, which is derived from Campbell's book.

The clients understood immediately how the "Hero's Journey" applied to their life, their recovery and the changes they were trying to make to their life. It was a popular group at the agency.

Since that time, many clients in my psychotherapy practice in New York City have found that the concepts in the "Hero's Journey" helped them to make major changes  in their lives.

What is the "Hero's Journey"?

Joseph Campbell, an American mythologist and author described the "Hero's Journey" as a monomyth. 

A monomyth is a narrative structure which is common in many myths around the world where the main character ventures from their ordinary world to an unknown world. 

Along the way, according to Campbell, the main character encounters adventures, challenges and has transformational experiences of self discovery before they return to the known world to re-enter their world and bring back what they have learned to their society.

"The Hero's Journey" has been used as a blueprint for many movies and stories, including Star Wars. George Lucas created the character, Luke Skywalker, as the hero of the story who transforms from a farm boy into a hero through the classic stages of the "Hero's Journey".

What Are the Stages of the "Hero's Journey"?

The "Hero's Journey" is made of three main phases:

• Separation from the Known World (Departure)

• Initiation

• Return to the Known World

Within those three main phases, there are various stages including:

• The Ordinary World: This is the  hero's normal everyday life before the adventure begins.

• The Call to Adventure: The hero gets the call to face a challenge or a quest.

• Refusal of the Call: The hero hesitates or fears leaving their comfort zone. An example of this is when Luke Skywalker tells Obi-Wan Kenobe that he cannot join him to fight the Empire because he has obligations to his aunt and uncle. He is also fearful and wants to remain in his familiar world.

Meeting the Mentor: Ariadne's Thread

• Meeting the Mentor: A wise or experienced figure gives the hero advice or tools for the challenges to come. In Star Wars, Obi-Wan Kenobe is an important mentor. He teaches him about the Force and lightsaber skills. Another example in the Greek myth, "Theseus and the Minotaur", Ariadne, a princess in Crete, gave the hero, Theseus, a ball of red yarn (or fleece) to help him navigate the Labyrinth, a complex maze that housed the dangerous Minotaur. In psychology, this myth is used as a metaphor for using your inner voice to lead you through the maze of your unconscious mind or through a difficult life transition (see my article: Reclaiming the Power of Your Inner Voice).

• Crossing the First Threshold: The hero commits to the journey and enters into the unknown world.

• Tests, Allies, Enemies: The hero faces challenges, makes friends and encounters foes.

• Approach to the Inmost Cave: The hero prepares for the central crisis of the story

• The Ordeal: The ordeal is a central life-or-death crisis where the hero faces their greatest fear.

• Reward (Seizing the Sword): The hero survives the ordeal and takes possession of the treasure or knowledge.

• The Road Back: The hero attempts to return to the ordinary world while they are being chased by danger.

• Resurrection: The hero faces the final high-stakes battle at the threshold of home, which purifies the hero. 

• Return of the Elixir: The hero returns home and brings back the "elixir" (knowledge, treasure or peace) to help their community. For instance, in the myth of "Eros and Psyche", Psyche is given ambrosia by Zeus after completing the quests which transform her from a mortal into a goddess.  Another example is Luke Skywalker in Star Wars. The elixir is the destruction of the Death Star and the medal of honor. This signifies hope, success and his rise as a hero.

What is the Significance of the "Hero's Journey"?

• Common Themes: The themes in the "Hero's Journey" mirror experience in real life of overcoming obstacles to attain personal growth.

• Story Structure: It provides a framework for personal storytelling as well as for stories like: 
• Star Wars
• The Hobbit
• The Wizard of Oz

The "Hero's Journey"and The Wizard of Oz

• The Odyssey
• The Quest For the Holy Grail
• The Alchemist
• The Hunger Games
• The Three Musketeers and many other stories.

• Transformation: The focus is on the internal change of the main character as well as the adventure.  This also applies to the psychological changes in real life.

How Can You Use the "Hero's Journey" to Cope With Big Changes in Your Life?

You can use the "Hero's Journey" to cope with change by reframing personal challenges as a narrative for growth rather than a crisis. 

The "Hero's Journey"

By identifying as a hero, rather than a victim, in your own story, you can embrace uncertainty as a "Call to Adventure", find mentors or people who can provide you with tools and emotional support, face challenges and attain newfound strength.

Key Stages of the "Hero's Journey" for Personal Change

• Reframe the Crisis as a Journey: Instead of viewing life challenges or disruptions as permanent catastrophes, see them as necessary temporary stages in a transformative journey. 

• Identify the Call to Adventure: Recognize the necessity of change as a "call" prompting you to step out of your comfort zone to begin the necessary transition.

• Identify Mentors or Allies: Recognize the people, including mentors, allies, trusted friends, mental health professionals and others, who can provide support, guidance and tools during your transition.

• "Cross the Threshold": Commit to making the change by taking small, proactive steps which help to build momentum and reduce fears of the unknown.

• Face the "Ordeal": Acknowledge that facing challenges is a necessary part of the process while allowing the "death" of old habits and the "rebirth" of a more resilient self.

• Bring Back the "Elixir": Focus on the lessons, wisdom and personal growth gained from your struggle while integrating the new strength into your "ordinary world".

About Me

I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT (for couples), Parts Work (IFS and Ego States Therapy), Somatic Experiencing and Certified Sex Therapist.

I have helped many individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Also See My Articles:

Coping With the In-Between State of Change 

How Does Imagery and Imagination Enhance Psychotherapy? 

Using Your Imagination: How Imaginal Interweaves Help to Overcome Trauma

The Power of Rituals 

Embracing Your Internal Contradictions and Paradoxes 

Developing the Courage to Change

Being Open to New Experiences