NYC Psychotherapist Blog

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Saturday, September 24, 2022

What Are the Benefits of Sexual Role Play?

Sexual role play can be a great way to spice up your sex life and introduce new sexual elements you and your partner(s) have never experienced before (see my articles: The Power of Novelty to Enhance Your Sex Life and The 7 Core Sexual Fantasies).

Sexual Role Play

What is Sexual Role Play?
First, before I discuss the other benefits, let's define the term "sexual role play."

Sexual role play is when two or more consenting adults act out roles while engaging in sexual activities.  

You can take on whatever persona you want and create whatever sexual scenario--as long as it's consensual among everyone involved.

You and your partner(s) can create a role play that is simple or elaborate depending on the sexual fantasy.

Some people use masks, costumes and other props to enhance the experience.  You can also use music and include backstories for each character.  

A common role play theme is to pretend to be strangers who meet at a bar, flirt and go home together to have passionate sex.

Examples of Sexual Role Play in Films and TV Programs
There are many examples of sexual role play in TV programs and movies.  

For example, a husband and wife role play BDSM (Bondage, Discipline, Dominance, Sadism, Submission, Masochism) scenes in the TV program, Billions, where the wife plays the role of a dominatrix. The husband, who is a high powered attorney general in his everyday life, is the submissive who gets off on being whipped, stepped on and humiliated by his wife (see my article: What is Sexual Power Play?).

There's a wonderful scene in the movie, Wings of the Dove, which draws the viewer in immediately and is a typical sexual role play.  

Sexual Role Play

The film opens with a scene with two strangers on a train who making eye contact.  Then, without saying a word, they both mysteriously get off at the same train station--the implication being they're going home together to have hot sex--which they do.  

In the movie, 9 1/2 Weeks, an attractive, mysterious man and a woman meet at a street fair.  He initiates a sexual affair, which includes BDSM role play, where he is the dominant partner and she is the submissive.  The affair, which is sexy and exciting, lasts 9 1/2 weeks (see my article: A Cornerstone of Eroticism: Searching For Power).

What Are the Benefits of Sexual Role Play?
There are many benefits to sexual role play, including:
  • Role play can be fun, exciting and sexy.
  • Role play allows you to step outside your everyday reality so it frees you to be characters you might have fantasied about but who you don't see yourself as in your everyday life.
  • You and your partner(s) get to be adventurous when you explore sexual fantasies.
  • Role play offers an opportunity to introduce novelty into your sex life.

The Benefits of Sexual Role Play
  • When you take on the role of a character, it can remove some of the guilt and shame you might feel if you enacted these fantasies as yourself.
  • Role playing, which is agreed upon beforehand, can enhance trust.
  • Role playing allows you to be more assertive or submissive than you normally would be in your everyday life--if you're normally submissive, you can act out a role where you are assertive and if you're normally assertive, you can be submissive (see my article: Destigmatizing Sexual Fantasies of Power and Submission).
  • Sexual encounters can be more fulfilling and intimate with role play, so it often brings people closer together.

Tips For Starting a Conversation About Sexual Role Play
Start by communicating with your partner(s) with these helpful tips.

About Me
I am a licensed New York City psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT and Somatic Experiencing therapist.

I am a sex positive therapist who works with individual adults and couples (see my article:  What is Sex Therapy?).

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.