Relationships: The Problem Isn't the Problem. The Real Problem is the Repeating Negative Cycle in the Relationship

What does it mean when an Emotionally Focused couples therapist says, "The problem isn't the problem. The problem is the negative cycle"? 

    See my articles: 

What is Emotionally Focused Therapy For Couples?

Identifying the Negative Cycle in Your Relationship

Breaking the Negative Cycle in Your Relationship

The Problem is the Negative Cycle

Most couples have disagreements from time to time, but when a couple is stuck in a repeating pattern of negative behavior, the original disagreement becomes secondary to the negative cycle.

The negative cycle, which is a repeating pattern of negative behavior, perpetuates the problem and makes it harder to resolve.

What Are the Key Aspects of the Negative Cycle?

Here are some of the key aspects of the negative cycle in a relationship:

• Repeating Patterns: A negative cycle in a relationship involves a pattern of interactions between the couple that lead to further conflict or distance in the relationship including:

• Problems with communication
• Unhealthy emotional responses
• Unhealthy behavior

• A Negative Cycle That Reinforces Itself: When a negative cycle reinforces itself, one person's behavior triggers a negative response from the other person, which causes the other partner to become more reactive. This creates a negative cycle which is difficult to break.

Breaking the Negative Cycle in Your Relationship

• Looking Beyond the Surface: Although the initial issue might seem like the main problem, the real problem is the negative cycle the couple is stuck in. The negative cycle is usually the main obstacle for couples who want to overcome their problems.

How Does Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) Help Couples to Overcome Their Negative Cycle?

EFT therapists work with couples to help them by: 

• Working with the couple to identify the negative cycle that is the obstacle to overcoming their problems

• Helping clients to recognize that emotions influence patterns of behavior

• Helping clients to understand how to use emotions to create the changes they want

• Helping clients to look below the surface to understand their positive needs underneath the negative cycle

• Helping clients to interrupt the negative cycle until they can learn to change the cycle

• Teaching clients how to engage in active listening so they can understand and respond empathically instead of reacting (see my article: Responding Instead of Reacting)

• Helping clients to understand their attachment wounds and vulnerabilities that are underneath the negative cycle

• Helping clients to see how they engage or disengage with each other

• Helping clients to change the negative cycle so they can develop a secure attachment in their relationship

Clinical Vignette

The following clinical vignette is a composite of many cases (with all identifying information removed to protect confidentiality) that illustrates how EFT Couples Therapy can help a couple who are stuck in their negative cycle:

Ann and Bill

Ann and Bill sought help in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) because they were constantly arguing about household chores and they were unable to work out their differences.

Breaking the Negative Cycle in Your Relationship

When the arguments initially began several years before, they would come together fairly quickly to apologize to each other, but they never worked out their differences.

Over time, resentment built up between them and it was becoming increasingly difficult to communicate after one of their arguments.

Ann felt Bill should take on more responsibilities in the household because she assumed the mental load for both of them and their teenage children. She kept track of doctors' appointments, the children's after school activities, the couple's social calendar and so on.

Ann tended to suppress her anger and resentment until she was fed up and then she would explode in anger. Bill reacted by ignoring Ann and going into his home office to calm down. But Ann interpreted Bill's behavior as stonewalling.

When Ann felt Bill withdraw by stonewalling her, she felt hurt and angry, which also made her even more adamant to make him talk to her. So, she would pursue him when he went up to his home office and demand that he talk to her.  But the more she demanded this of him, the more he shutdown emotionally, which made her even more adamant.

This was all part of their negative cycle: She would suppress her emotions. Then, she would have an angry outburst. He would feel overwhelmed by her anger and he would shut down emotionally, which served to exacerbate her anger. And the cycle went on and on until they were both emotionally exhausted.

Their EFT couples therapist helped them to identify their negative cycle and, over time, they learned how to interrupt the cycle. Gradually, over time, they learned how to break the cycle.

Once they were able to break the negative cycle, they were able to talk calmly about the original problem, household chores. 

When they didn't have to contend with their negative cycle, they found it much easier to compromise about household chores.

Conclusion

Most couples don't know about the concept of the negative cycle.  Needless to say, they also don't know about their particular cycle.

Couples can learn in EFT couples therapy to break the negative cycle.

Breaking the negative cycle allows each person in the relationship to listen and communicate more effectively. 

They can also learn how to negotiate their original problems without getting stuck in their former cycle.

Getting Help in Couples Therapy

If you and your partner are having problems you have unable to resolve on your own, you could benefit from working with an EFT couples therapist.

Breaking the Negative Cycle in Your Relationship

Learning to break the negative cycle in your relationship could be one of the best things you do to improve your relationship.

Rather than struggling on your own, seek help from a licensed mental health professional who is an EFT couples therapist.

About Me

I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, EFT (for couples), AEDP, Somatic Experiencing and Sex Therapist.

I work with individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

How Are Therapy Cards Used For Self Reflection and Parts Work?

Therapy cards are used in psychotherapy as a tool for doing Parts Work, explore feelings, learn about yourself and process issues in therapy (see my article: How Parts Work Can Help to Empower You).

Parts Work Therapy Can Be Empowering

How Are Therapy Cards Used For Parts Work and Self Reflection

I have used Inner Active Cards, which were developed by Sharon Sargent Eckstein based on the book, Parts Work by Dr. Tom Holmes counseling psychologist, to help clients while doing Parts Work therapy.

I have found that these cards, as well as other illustrated cards, help clients to understand the various aspects of themselves (also known as parts). 

The cards can help clients with regard to:

• Self Exploration: The cards help clients to learn about their feelings, patterns, triggers and personal strengths

        See my articles: 

• Coping With Triggers

• Discovering Your Personal Strengths in Therapy

• Visual Anchors: The cards provide a visual anchor for clients to connect to the issues they want to work on so they can process these issues in therapy.

• Creative Prompts: The cards can provide a way for clients to connect with the creative aspects of themselves so they can open up to the problem solving and resilient aspects of themselves.

Parts Work Therapy Can Be Empowering

• Conversation Starters: The illustrations on the cards often help clients to connect to their inner world and begin conversations with their therapist.

• Making the Unconscious Conscious: The cards can provide a way for clients to connect with their unconscious mind in a gentle and safe way to provide them with clarity and tune into their inner wisdom (see my article: Making the Unconscious Conscious).

Clinical Vignette

The following clinical vignette is a composite of many different cases with all identifying information removed to protect client confidentiality. 

This vignette illustrates one way in which therapy cards can be helpful.

Bob

When Bob started therapy, he had difficulty accessing and expressing his emotions.

Bob sought help at the suggestion of his girlfriend, Emma. 

Bob and Emma had been together for several months and they were having communication problems. 

During their conversations, Emma realized that Bob was cut off from certain emotions so that he had difficulty expressing his feelings.

Parts Work Can Be Empowering

Bob grew up in a family where his parents didn't feel comfortable with their own emotions, especially emotions they considered "negative" like anger, sadness and shame. 

Due to his parents' discomfort with these emotions, Bob and his siblings learned to suppress their emotions so that, as adults, they were out of touch with their emotions.

After she obtained his family and relationship history, his therapist helped Bob to develop the internal resources to do therapy (see my article: Developing Internal Resources and Coping Skills).

When they both felt he was ready, his therapist helped Bob to identify feelings by identifying emotions in his body (see my article: Why Establishing Emotional Safety is so Important in Therapy).

For instance, Bob realized that when he felt constriction in his throat, he was holding back anger and when he felt a tightness in his stomach, he was feeling anxious (see my article: The Mind-Body Connection: The Body Offers a Window Into the Unconscious Mind).

His therapist explained Parts Work Therapy, also known as Ego States Therapy or IFS (Internal Family Systems), as a way to help him build self compassion, empathy, increase self awareness, reduce anxiety and become more empowered.

His therapist also introduced Bob to the Inner Active cards to facilitate the process by letting him look through the cards to see which ones resonated with him. 

Over time, Bob was able to use the cards and Parts Work to gradually and safely get to feelings that he had suppressed in the past.  This allowed Bob to begin to open up to his internal world and express his emotions more easily with his girlfriend and other people in his life.

Conclusion

Parts Work can be an empowering therapy for clients to heal.

Therapy cards are a tool some therapists use to help clients to heal emotionally.

Clients who usually have problems identifying and expressing their feelings often find the combination of the cards and Parts Work to be healing, especially for unresolved trauma (see my article: Why is Past Unresolved Trauma Affecting You Now?).

Getting Help in Therapy

If you feel stuck or you have problems you have been unable to resolve on your own, you could benefit from working with a licensed mental health professional.

Parts Work Therapy Can Be Empowering

A skilled psychotherapist can help you to overcome obstacles that are keeping you from maximizing your potential.

Rather than struggling on your own, seek help from a licensed mental health professional.

About Me

I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT (for couples), Somatic Experiencing and Sex Therapist (see my article: The Therapeutic Benefits of Integrative Therapy).

I work with individual adults and couples.

Trauma therapy is one of my specialties (see my article: What is a Trauma Therapist?).

I help clients by providing them with a safe therapeutic environment to explore their feelings so they can heal.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Relationships: What Do You Need to Feel Closer to Your Partner?

As a psychotherapist who sees individual adults and couples, one of the problems I often hear about from people in relationships is that they would like to feel closer to their partner.

What Do You Need to Feel Closer to Your Partner?

            See my articles:    

• Learning to Ask Your Partner For What You Need Emotionally

• Are Your Emotional Needs Being Met in Your Relationship?

What Do You Need to Feel Close to Your Partner?

Every individual is different but, generally, most people in a relationship need to experience:

• Acceptance: This means feeling accepted as you are right now--flaws and all.

• Trust: You and your partner know that you can trust each other, put your relationship first and be honest and genuine with each other (see my article: Relationships: Oxytocin, Trust and Empathy).

• Reliability: Knowing you can count on your partner to be there for you when you need them is essential.

What Do You Need to Feel Closer to Your Partner?

• Emotional Connection: Feeling emotionally connected to your partner and knowing your partner feels emotionally connected to you is important. You and your partner might have short periods of times when you don't feel as emotionally connected because of whatever you're going through as a couple, but feeling emotionally connected most of the time is important in any relationship (see my article: How to Build Trust and Connection in Your Relationship).

• Understanding: You and your partner need to feel that you understand each other and, even when there are times when you might not understand each other, you both make an attempt to communicate and actively listen so you both work towards feeling understood.

• Appreciation: Feeling appreciated and valued is essential to any relationship. This includes giving and getting positive reinforcement (see my article: The Importance of Expressing Gratitude to Your Partner).

• Vulnerability: Vulnerability is the pathway in any relationship to emotional and sexual connection. This means being able to listen to your partner's hopes, fears and dreams and your partner also being able to do the same for you. 

         See my articles: 

• Vulnerability as a Pathway to Emotional and Sexual Intimacy

• How to Express Your Vulnerable Emotions to Your Partner

• Shared Goals: Having individual goals and relationship goals that you can both support is important.

         See my articles: 

• 7 Tips For Creating a Stronger Relationship With Relationship Goals

• 10 Relationship Goals to Create a Stronger Relationship

• Growing as an Individual When You're in a Relationship

Conclusion

Being able to ask for what you need emotionally from your partner can be challenging, especially if you grew up in a family where you were discouraged, forbidden or even shamed for having emotional needs (see my article: What is Childhood Emotional Neglect?).

What Do You Need to Feel Closer to Your Partner?

If you and your partner are having problems expressing your emotional needs to each other, you could benefit from seeking help in couples therapy.

Getting Help in Couples Therapy

If you and your partner have been unable to resolve problems on your own, you could benefit from seeking help in couples therapy.

Getting Help in Couples Therapy

A skilled couples therapist can help you to understand the underlying issues involved for each of you and help you to develop the necessary tools and strategies to overcome your problems.

Seeking help sooner rather than later can make the difference in being able to resolve your problems.

About Me

I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT (for couples), Somatic Experiencing and Sex Therapist.

I work with individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email.

Comparison and Judgment Are the Thieves of Joy

The phrase "Comparison is the thief of joy" is attributed to Theodore Roosevelt and it means that comparing yourself to others and judging yourself unfavorably often leads to unhappiness (see my article: How to Stop Comparing Yourself Unfavorably With Others).

Comparisons and Judgment on Social Media

These issues have become increasingly problematic now that people compare their looks, their partners, their success and everything else about their life on social media.

Comparison and Judgment Are the Thieves of Joy

Many people compare and judge themselves in ways that lead to shame, anxiety and depression, and other similar problems, especially among teens and young adults.

More and more people are realizing they need to take breaks from social media if they want to maintain their mental health. 

What Are the Negative Effects of Comparisons and Judgment?

Whether comparisons and judgment occur on social media or in real life, the negative consequences include (but not limited to):

• Feeling envious of others 

• Feeling dissatisfied with yourself

• Feeling inadequate 

• Having a poor body image (see my article: How Mindfulness and Self Acceptance Can Help With Body Acceptance)

• Depression

• Feeling worthless

• Feeling unlovable

• Anxiety

• Hopelessness

• Low self esteem
  

• Shame
  

Comparison and Judgment Often Starts Early in Childhood

In her book, Come Together, Dr. Emily Nagoski writes that, even more than comparison, the real thief of joy is judgment.

I see many clients in my New York City psychotherapy practice who are unhappy because they compare and judge themselves unfavorably to others.

Comparison and Judgment Are the Thieves of Joy

In many cases this began when their parents compared and judged them, as young children, unfavorably to other children:

    "Why can't you get better grades like your older brother?" 

    "Look how outgoing your friend Mary is. Why can't you be more like her?"

Although most parents don't mean to harm their children, when parents give labels to their children, children feel inadequate (see my article: Children's Roles in Dysfunctional Families).

A common example of this is when parents engage in labeling and splitting by saying to their daughters, "Gina, you're the pretty one and Ann, you're the smart one."

Not only can this pit siblings against each other, but these comparisons often cause each child to want the attributes they feel they're lacking and believe their sibling has.

What often happens is that the one who is told she's the pretty one longs to be the smart one and the one who is told she's smart one longs to be the pretty one.

I've had clients look back on their childhood photos and report cards many years later and they realized that these destructive comparisons were false.

Regardless of how their parents labeled them, they discovered years later that both they and their sibling were equally attractive and smart, but their parents created this "split" between the siblings.  

How to Overcome the Tendency to Compare and Judge Yourself Unfavorably to Others

Usually by the time people come to see me for therapy, they have been traumatized by lifelong comparisons and judgments that began early in life by their parents, which they internalized and continued to do to themselves as adults.

If this type of problem hasn't reached the level of trauma where you need a mental health professional, there are some self help tips that might be helpful:

• Develop Self Awareness: Begin to notice when you're comparing and judging yourself.

• Identity Your Triggers: Become aware of what types of situations trigger these negative thoughts and feelings in you.

• Self Reflect and Focus on Your Strengths: You have unique strengths. Instead of focusing on what you think you don't have, as compared to others, focus on your strengths that you do have (see my article: What is a Strengths-Based Perspective in Psychotherapy?).

Reflect on Your Positive Traits and Strengths

• Keep a Gratitude Journal: When you keep a gratitude journal, you learn to shift your focus from feelings of inadequacy, shame and envy to feelings of gratitude for what you do have (see my article: How to Keep a Gratitude Journal).

• Have a Talk With Your Inner Critic: Your inner critic was probably formed when you were young when you internalized the negative messages you received. It's only one part of you and it's often a sad and neglected part that wants attention. Although you can't get rid of any part of yourself, you can transform that part with love and attention which can help to soften it. But even if that part doesn't soften, you can ask it to step aside so it doesn't have a direct impact on you while you're working to strengthen your sense of self. Once your sense of self has been strengthened, even if that part continues to be critical, when you come from a stronger sense of self, you won't automatically believe that critical part.

                See my articles: 

• Making Friends With Your Inner Critic
• 
  
• How Parts Work Can Empower You

• Your Thoughts and Feelings Aren't Facts

• Only Compare Yourself to Yourself: Focus on your own progress instead of comparing yourself to others and judging yourself. For instance, if you go to the gym, instead of comparing yourself to a gym member who is more advanced than you and who can lift heavier weights track your own progress or give yourself credit for going to the gym.

• Limit Your Exposure to Social Media: Become aware of how you are affected by social media and reduce your time so you're not getting triggered as much. Some people have taken themselves off social media for periods of time to stop getting triggered and strengthen their sense of self.

• Practice Mindfulness and Breathing Exercises: Meditation and breathing exercises can help you to reduce the stress and anxiety that often comes with comparisons and self judgment.

Conclusion

Comparison and judgment are the thieves of joy.

If your problem isn't related to unresolved trauma, you can try to identify and overcome the triggers related to unfavorably comparisons and judgment. 

Getting Help in Therapy

If self help strategies aren't working for you and you think your problems are related to unresolved trauma, consider getting help in trauma therapy.

Getting Help in Therapy

A skilled trauma therapist can help you to work through any underlying trauma contributes to your problems so you can lead a more fulfilling life (see my article: What is a Trauma Therapist?).

About Me

I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT, Somatic Experiencing and Sex Therapist.

I am a trauma therapist who works with individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Infidelity in Conflict Avoidant Couples

I'm focusing on an important topic for many relationships: Conflict avoidant couples and infidelity.

See my prior articles:

What are Gottman's 5 Types of Couples?

How to Prevent Conflict Avoidance From Destroying Your Relationship

Are You and Your Partner Avoiding Difficult Conversations?

Infidelity in Conflict Avoidant Couples

As a brief recap:  

Conflict avoidant couples are couples who tend to avoid difficult conversations and conflicts. They often experience unexpressed anger, frustration and resentment which builds up over time and leads to big confrontations or to infidelity.

What Are Some of the Signs of a Conflict Avoidant Couple?

The following are some of the signs a conflict avoidant couple might experience:

• Unexpressed anger, frustration and resentment that builds up over time
• Refusing to participate in a difficult conversation
• Withdrawing from a conflict (not just taking a break, but avoiding the conflict altogether)
• A relationship based on assumptions and expectations instead of communication
• Apologizing or agreeing with a partner (when you don't agree) just to avoid an argument
• Feeling anxious at the thought of discussing something difficult with your partner
• Hiding certain things from your partner, possibly including cheating
• Focusing only on the good aspects of the relationship and avoiding problems

Why Do People in Conflict Avoidant Couples Cheat?

Cheating is not part of every relationship where a couple is avoiding conflict, but cheating is often a problem in conflict avoidant couples.

While these couples often appear happy to outside observers, the couples are often aware they have unaddressed problems within their relationship, but they don't know how to handle their problems. As a result, these issues remain unresolved.

Generally, people cheat in conflict avoidant relationships when certain circumstances come together, including: 

• Mounting anger, resentment, frustration and stress in the relationship
• An inability and/or reluctance to address these problems
• An opportunity presents itself for cheating

In many cases the person who cheats has an unconscious wish to be discovered so they can get their partner's attention.

While it can be very hurtful for a couple to cope with infidelity, after the initial shock and hurt, it's important to understand how these problems developed in the relationship--whether the couple stays together or not.

Clinical Vignette

The following clinical vignettes are composites. All identifying information has been removed to protect confidentiality.

Jean and Bob

Jean and Bob, who were both in their mid-30s, were married for five years. 

During that time, Jean suspected Bob was secretly communicating with other women online because whenever she walked into the same room when Bob was on his cellphone, he would abruptly stop texting. This made her suspicious. 

Since she knew his password, Jean looked on his phone and she discovered he was sexting with another woman. 

Infidelity in Conflict Avoidant Couples

Jean was very hurt and angry by this discovery. When she confronted Bob, he apologized over and over again. He told her that, although he knew there was no excuse for sexting with another woman, he felt dissatisfied with their relationship for a while and sexting with another woman made him made him feel desirable. 

After they began couples therapy, Bob realized he had unconsciously hoped Jean would discover his texts so he could get her attention. He said he didn't know how to communicate his dissatisfaction to her and he regretted putting their relationship at risk. 

Over time they gradually worked through the hurt and anger. They learned how to rebuild trust in their relationship and communicate with each other about difficult topics. 

By the time they completed couples therapy, they felt much more comfortable having difficult conversations and, overall, they were both more satisfied with their relationship.

Mark and Tom

Mark and Tom, who were in their 40s, were married for three years. They had an agreement to as a consensually nonmonogamous couple, that they would be open and honest with each other about who they wanted to get involved with before they got involved. 

One day Tom discovered Mark was cheating when a friend told him that he saw Mark kissing a man at a local gay bar. This was a man Mark had not told Tom about, which went against their agreement. 

Infidelity in Conflict Avoidant Couples

When Tom confronted Mark, he was shocked when Mark broke down and admitted that he had many secret affairs throughout their relationship because he felt angry, frustrated and resentful about unaddressed problems in their relationship. 

After they began couples therapy, Tom felt too hurt by the extent of Mark's infidelity to forgive him, but they remained in therapy to end their relationship with as little animosity as possible. 

By the end of therapy they were able to part by honoring what was good about their relationship and acknowledging they could no longer be together.

Ann and Jane

Ann and Jane, who were in their early 40s, met at a local New York City LGBTQ meeting.  

Several months after they met, they moved in together. 

Their friends and families thought they were "the perfect couple" because Ann and Jane only talked about the positive aspects of their relationship. However, they both knew they were avoiding talking to each other about Ann's overspending and debt. 

As the years went by, they were spending less and less time together except when they both happened to be home.  They were basically coexisting in the same apartment.

One day Jane found Ann's credit card bill on the kitchen table and she discovered charges she didn't recognize. Initially, she avoided confronting Ann because she was in denial and she hoped the problem would somehow go away on its own. 

Infidelity in Conflict Avoidant Couples

But months later Jane discovered texts from other women who were thanking Ann for expensive gift cards. At that point, Jane knew she couldn't avoid a difficult conversation any longer so she confronted Ann, who admitted she was having secret affairs outside their relationship. 

During couples therapy, they learned that they had been avoiding conflicts with each other and the result was they were both feeling angry, frustrated and resentful. They also learned that their avoidance resulting in emotional estrangement between them.

In addition, Ann realized she "accidentally" left her credit card bill on the kitchen table in an unconscious attempt to get Jane's attention. 

Over time, they worked through the anger, hurt and pain related to Ann's affairs. They also learned how to communicate directly with one another, work through their problems and deal with Ann's debt. 

Ann also joined Debtor's Anonymous (D.A.) and she sought help to consolidate her debt.

Conclusion

Infidelity can occur in any type of relationship whether the relationship is monogamous or consensually nonmonogamous. 

Cheating can occur regardless of age, sex, sexual orientation, or other factors as illustrated in the three vignettes in this article. Although the couples were different each vignette, they were all conflict avoidant.

In some instances the partner who is cheating has an unconscious wish for their partner to know about the infidelity as a way to bring to light problems they're unable to communicate about due to the conflict avoidant nature of their relationship. 

Although it's difficult, most couples decide they are emotionally invested in their relationship and they don't want to end it. In many cases, they're able to work through their problems in couples therapy.

After the infidelity is discovered, many couples can learn to work through their issues and regain trust in couples therapy. However, some individuals, who have been hurt by their partner's cheating, feel the emotional pain is too much to bear, they can't trust their partner, and they end the relationship.

A skilled couples therapist has no agenda of her own. Depending upon the couple's goals in therapy, a couples therapist can work with a couple to either strengthen the relationship and rebuild trust or to end it with as little animosity as possible. 

Many couples, who decide to split, also use couples therapy to learn how to talk to their children about the split and they also learn to co-parent together (see my articles: How to Talk to Your Children About Divorce and Co-parenting After Divorce).

Getting Help in Couples Therapy

If you and your partner have been avoiding conflicts in your relationship by "sweeping problems under the rug", you could benefit from seeking help in couples therapy.

Getting Help in Couples Therapy

Seeking help in therapy sooner rather than later usually offers you a better chance of working through problems.

A skilled couples therapist can help you to discover and work through the negative cycle in your relationship that causes you both to avoid conflict. 

You can also learn how to work through infidelity, if that's what you both choose to do, and learn to improve communication.

If you have tried unsuccessfully to resolve relationship problems, seek help in couples therapy so you can have a more fulfilling relationship.

About Me

I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT, Somatic Experiencing and Sex Therapist.

I work with individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.