A Strengths-Based Perspective in Psychotherapy: Looking at the Whole Person

Over the years, I've noticed that many clients, who have been in therapy before and who come to see me in my psychotherapy private practice in New York City, tend to describe themselves exclusively based on whatever psychiatric diagnosis they've been given in prior psychotherapy treatment.  The more psychotherapy they've had, the more likely they are to describe themselves based on a diagnosis from prior therapy rather than as a whole person.

A Strengths-Based Holistic Psychotherapy:  You're Not Your Diagnosis
As I've mentioned in prior blog posts, I believe it's important to look at the whole person and not look at a client only in terms of a diagnosis (see links below for my prior article on "Positive Psychotherapy - A Strengths-Based Perspective" and "Psychotherapy: You're Not Your Diagnosis").

Strength-Based Therapy: Looking at the Whole Person

Psychotherapists must use the American Psychiatric Association's DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual) to obtain reimbursements from insurance companies.  

This is true whether the reimbursement goes to the client or the therapist, whether it's for in network therapy or out of network therapy.  But the diagnosis is, obviously, not the whole story about any one person.

For instance, one of my specialties is working with emotional trauma, and I've had many clients who have symptoms related to post-traumatic stress disorder who have demonstrated a lot of resilience and resourcefulness in their lives, despite the fact that they have had horrific experiences.  They might be starting psychotherapy because their history of trauma is getting triggered in their current life, but this does not negate the fact that they also have a lot of strengths.

Psychotherapists Should Help Clients to Recognize and Utilize the Clients' Strengths
When a psychotherapist looks at a client and a client looks at him or herself only in terms of a diagnosis, this does a great disservice to the client.

I believe one of the things that therapists should do with all clients is to help them realize that they have strengths and they have used these positive qualities to get themselves through tough times in the past.  It might not have completely resolved their emotional problems, but it has probably helped them a lot.

Recognizing Your Strengths

When clients are able to see themselves more holistically, as opposed to seeing themselves only in terms of their diagnosis, they're better able to access these qualities to help themselves.

One of the great joys I experience in my work with psychotherapy clients is seeing them be able to recognize and utilize the strengths they already have in addition to learning and developing new tools they can use to grow and live more meaningful and fulfilling lives.

Getting Help in Therapy
If you've been hesitant to start therapy because you fear being seen only in terms of a diagnosis, you could benefit from seeing a psychotherapist who has a more holistic approach.  

About Me

I am a licensed NYC psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR and Somatic Experiencing therapist who works with individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website:  Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 or email me.

Also, see my related articles:
Positive Psychotherapy: A Strengths-Based Perspective

Psychotherapy: You're Not Your Diagnosis

Psychotherapy: Overcoming the Shame That Keeps You From Starting Therapy

Shame can be a very debilitating emotion, especially when it comes to asking for help.  As a psychotherapist in NYC, I see many clients who have struggled with shame for years before they allow themselves to come to therapy for help, usually after their problems have gone from bad to worse and they're in an emotional crisis.

Overcoming Shame That Keeps You From Starting Therapy

Why Do People Feel Too Ashamed to Ask For Help in Therapy?
The reasons why many people are too ashamed to come to therapy vary with each person, but negative self judgment is often a major factor.

Negative Self Judgment: "I Should Be Able to Handle This Problem"
One of the most common underlying issues is an attitude of self judgment with an internal dialogue that says, "I should be able to handle this on my own"  or "If I was stronger, I wouldn't need help."  Many of these same people wouldn't judge their loved ones if they needed help, but they can be very punitive with themselves.

Why Do People Feel Shame and Negative Self Judgment? 
Often people who feel shame and engage in negative self judgment were placed in a role as a child where they had to act like an adult.  It's amazing how children, when placed in this role, will rise to the occasion and take on problems that are really beyond their development.  Of course, this comes at a great emotional price to them because they're not allowed to be children.

Shame and Negative Self Judgment Often Keep People From Coming to Therapy

Unfortunately, the fact that they're able to rise to the occasion and act like adults reinforces a parental attitude that they can handle problems that are really beyond them and perpetuates this cycle.  This isn't always intentional on the parents' part.  Often, this happens with parents who are overwhelmed and who were also called upon when they were children to take on this parental role.  So, it might not occur to them that it's not appropriate to ask children to take on what are really adult problems.

Being the Person That Everyone Else Comes to With Their Problems
Being raised as a parentified child primes a child to grow up to be an adult that everyone else comes to with their problems.  I've seen this so many times with psychotherapy clients who finally come to therapy for their own problems when they feel overwhelmed.  They'll often tell me that they're usually the ones that everyone leans on, but they don't feel comfortable asking for help from others.

Often, they understand, logically, that there are times when everyone needs help.  But it doesn't feel right to them on an emotional level because they're not used to being the ones who ask others for help.  On an emotional level, it feels wrong to them.

Part of the problem is that many of them have little or no experience, even as children, getting help.  These children usually learn to push down their own natural dependency needs in order to accommodate others.  After years of pushing down their own emotional needs, they don't feel them any more.  They've become so good at denying that they have needs of their own that they have little or no awareness of what they're feeling--until something big happens.

You Can Only Override Your Emotional Needs For So Long Before It Has Consequences For You
Denial is a very powerful defense.  You can be in denial for a long time before it begins to have consequences for you.  But, inevitably, denying your own emotional needs will have consequences.

The consequences can result in problems that are of an emotional, physical or even spiritual nature.  For example, you might ignore your need for help until it develops into a sleep problem.  Then, rather than considering that your problem might stem from your suppressed emotional needs, you go to the doctor and ask him or her for a sleep medication.

There Can Be Emotional and Physical Consequences to Ignoring Your Need For Help

A well-informed doctor will ask you if you're having particular emotional problems that are keeping up at night.  S/he will often recommend that you see a therapist to deal with these problems rather than just relying on medication, which may or may not work and might have side effects.  But many doctors are so busy that it's easier and faster to write a prescription than to explore underlying issues.

In fact, many medical problems have a strong psychological component that often go unrecognized.  Then, rather than treat the source of the problem, people go from one doctor to the next to treat the physical symptoms of an underlying psychological problem, like depression or anxiety.

Unfortunately, many people ignore their own needs until they reach an emotional, physical or spiritual crisis.  They might get to the point where they feel they can't get out of bed any more because they're so depressed.

Getting Help in Therapy 
It often helps to step outside your own experience and ask yourself if you would judge your best friend or a beloved family member if he or she came to therapy.  Then, ask yourself if shame and false pride are preventing you from being as emotionally generous with yourself as you would be with a loved one.

 Rather than allowing shame to get in your way, sometimes you need to allow your rational mind to tell you what your emotions are preventing you from seeing--that you need help from a licensed mental health professional and there's no need to feel ashamed of this.

About Me

I am a licensed NYC psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR and Somatic  Experiencing therapist. 

I work with individual adults and couples.

I've helped many people to overcome shame so that they can lead fulfilling lives.

To find out more about me, visit my website:  Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

The Emotional Vulnerability of Being in a Romantic Relationship

Being in an intimate relationship can be one of the most healing experiences in your life when you feel loved and nurtured in your relationship.  At the same time, it can also be one of the most hurtful experiences when the one you love hurts you.

The Emotional Vulnerability of Being in a Romantic Relationship

It's often hard for many people to understand how it's possible for both things to be true at the same time in the same relationship, but this is a common experience.  Let's go beyond the surface and take a deeper look at these experiences, which can seem so contradictory, but really aren't.

Intimate Relationships
When you're in a serous relationship, you're in an intimate relationship.  Emotional intimacy can bring both feelings of love and nurturance as well as emotional pain because your spouse or partner is the closest person to you emotionally in your adult life.

When someone is that close to you emotionally, mentally, physically, and sexually, there is the potential for him or her to say or do things, often unintentionally, that can hurt on a much deeper level than it would if someone else did or said the same thing.

Expectations That the One You Love Will Always Be There For You Emotionally
There is often an expectation that the one you love will always be there for you emotionally and will never hurt you.  In a perfect world, this would be true.  But we don't live in a perfect world and people often say and do things that hurt our feelings.  When it's the person who is closest to you, it not only hurts--it feels unjust.

It's important to make a distinction at this point:  What I'm referring to are common, occasional interactions between two people in a relationship--not physical abuse, frequent emotional abuse or major breaches of mistrust like infidelity.  I've written blog articles in the past about these topics and, of course, these are the most hurtful.  Here are some common examples of what I'm talking about:

Examples:
You and your partner get into an argument and, in anger and without thinking, he makes a critical remark about your weight gain.  You feel hurt and angry.

You come home happy and excited to tell your spouse about a major accomplishment at work and your spouse, who is tired and distracted, barely pays attention to what you're saying.  You feel hurt and deflated that he isn't sharing what was, until now, a happy moment for you.

You come home from a difficult day at work and feel the need for a little tender loving care from your spouse, but she is under a lot of stress too and tells you to look for another job if you're unhappy with your current job.  You feel hurt and misunderstood because you're not getting what you need at the moment.

As you can see from these example, these are hurtful experiences, but they're not, by themselves, reasons to end an otherwise good and stable relationship.  But, at the time, any of these experiences can leave you wondering, at that moment, how someone, who is usually loving and caring towards you, can be so unattuned to what you're feeling at that point in time.  You might say to yourself, "How can this be the same person who's usually so there for me and loves me?"

How You Respond to Your Partner Often Depends Upon Your Childhood History
How you respond to these occasional hurts often depends upon your childhood history.  So, on the one hand, if you were fortunate enough to grow up in a loving, nurturing home, you might feel hurt and annoyed at the moment, but when your spouse or partner apologizes for being so thoughtless, you'll  probably forgive him or her and make up, knowing that, as human beings, we all make mistakes.

Current Emotional Pain Can Trigger Emotional Pain From Childhood Trauma
On the other hand, if you had a traumatic childhood where there was a lot of physical or emotional abuse or emotional neglect, you might respond differently, especially if you haven't worked through your traumatic history.

For someone with an emotionally traumatic childhood history, even relatively minor slights can feel big.   This is because current hurts often trigger old hurts.  So, what happens is that you're not only feeling the emotional hurt from the present, you're also feeling the emotional pain from the past.  But it usually happens so fast that it's hard to distinguish the two feelings.

So, you often won't recognize that your emotional reaction contains the older traumatic feelings.  And your spouse or partner might not understand why you might be having such a big reaction to what's happening between you.  In turn, this can lead to more arguments and misunderstandings.

Getting Help in Therapy
There's no such thing as a perfect relationship.  Whenever you're in a stable, intimate relationship, it can cut both ways where you feel loved most of the time and you feel some emotional pain occasionally.  This is a common experience.

But if you realize, once you've calmed down, that your reactions to occasional emotional misattunements are out of proportion to what's going on in your current relationship, you might be responding to unresolved trauma, and you could benefit from seeking help from a licensed mental health professional who works with trauma.

About Me

I am a licensed New York City psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR and Somatic Experiencing therapist.

I work with individual adults and couples, and I have helped many clients to overcome emotional trauma so that they could live more fulfilling lives.

To find out more about me, visit my website:  Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Tips For Overcoming Your Fear of Asking for Help

In the prior blog articles, I discussed why people are often afraid to ask for help and the consequences of either procrastinating with asking for help or not asking for help at all.  In this blog article, I'd like to offer some tips on overcoming your fear of asking for help.

Overcoming Your Fear of Asking For Help

As I've mentioned before, shame is a major issue for people who are afraid to ask for help.  Usually, the shame originates from early childhood issues.  

Unfortunately, many children are made to feel ashamed when they ask their parents for help.  This is often unintentional on the parents' part.  The parents might feel overwhelmed or there might be many other reasons why they respond in a way that makes their children feel ashamed.  But the result is that the children grow up to feel ashamed and not entitled to ask for help.

Tips for Overcoming Your Fear of Asking For Help

Change isn't always easy, but you can try these simple tips to try to overcome your fear of asking for help.

• Recognize that Loved Ones Often Want to Help You: Your loved ones usually feel better if they can contribute to your well-being in some way.  By allowing others to help you, you allow the barriers between you to start coming down.  Rather than seeming aloof, you seem more approachable to your loved ones.

• Develop an Awareness of Distortions in Your Thinking: You might fear that others will try to manipulate and control you if you allow them to help you, but it's important to step back and really reflect on your thinking.  While this might be true for some people, in my opinion, it's not true for most people.  The important thing in trying to decide whom you can trust is developing good judgment with regard to the people you choose to help you.  Similarly, if you feel like you're going to burden others by asking for help, think about the times when others have asked you for help. Assuming you were able to help, didn't it make you feel good to help someone close to you?  Why would you think that a loved one wouldn't feel the same way towards you.

• Develop Reciprocal Relationships That Involve a Healthy Give and Take: Ultimately, one-sided relationships don't work.  If you're the only one doing the giving and the other person is doing all the taking, it's not going to work.  Healthy relationships involve both give and take on both sides.

• Start Small, If You Can: If it's possible, start by asking for help with a problem that's manageable rather than a big problem. Learning to accept help with smaller issues can help you to develop greater ease to ask for help with larger issues.

• Don't Procrastinate:  Ask For Help Before the Problem Gets Too Big:  Problems are often easier to solve before they become too big.  By the same token, it's usually easier to ask for help with a problem before it mushrooms into a much larger issue.

Get Help From a Licensed Mental Health Professional
For many people, the fear of asking for help is so ingrained that the tips I've provided above aren't helpful.  They just can't get over their fear.  When fear and shame are so overwhelming that you can't overcome them on your own, you could benefit from getting help from a licensed mental health professional, especially if fear of asking for help has been a lifelong issue.

In my experience as a psychotherapist, I've found that clinical hypnosis and Somatic Experiencing are often helpful to deal with the underlying trauma that is part of this fear and shame to ask for help.  While there are no quick fixes for trauma, I have found that both of these treatment modalities can be effective.

About Me

I am a licensed NYC psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR and Somatic Experiencing therapist.  

I work with individual adults and couples.  I've worked with many psychotherapy clients to help them overcome trauma so they can lead fulfilling lives.

To find out more about me, visit my website:  Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Overcoming Your Fear of Asking For Help

In a prior blog article,  Overcoming Your Fear of Asking For Help: Part 1, I focused on why people often have fears about asking for help.  In today's article, I will discuss the consequences of giving into that fear and not asking for help.

Overcoming Your Fear of Asking For Help

Just as the reasons why people fear asking for help are many and varied, so are the consequences of not asking for help, so it won't be possible to consider every possible consequence.  But we'll look at some of the most common ones.

Procrastination
When people are afraid to ask for help, one of the things that they often do is procrastinate for as long as possible.  They might know that, eventually, they'll need to ask for help, but they will delay as long as possible.  Often, they'll bargain with themselves by telling themselves, "I'll do it tomorrow," and then tomorrow becomes the next day and the next.  This often leads to other consequences, including:

     A Situation Can Go From Bad to Worse
When people procrastinate because they're too afraid to ask for help, a situation often goes from bad to worse.  An example of this at the workplace might be that an employee feels too overwhelmed to complete a project with a deadline.  She doesn't want her boss to think she's incompetent so she keeps trying harder to complete the project, but she really knows she can't complete it in time.  Unable to overcome her fear and shame, she waits until a few days before the deadline to let her boss know that she won't be able to do it on time.

There can be worse situations that involve health issues that go from being a chronic issue to an emergency.  Or, when people are afraid to ask loved ones for financial help, assuming that their loved ones have the financial wherewithal to help, it could result in an eviction, poor credit and other similar consequences.

     A Greater Cost With Regard to Time, Money and Effort
Continuing with the same workplace example from above, at that point, this employee's boss tells her that if he had known sooner, he could have shifted other employees from less urgent projects to this one without too much of a problem.

 But because he's only hearing about it a few days before the deadline, he will have to tell these other employees that they must work overtime to get the job done.  This extra effort at the Eleventh Hour will not only inconvenience others, but it will cost the company more in terms of time, money, and effort.

     Lost Opportunities
Giving in to a fear of asking for help can result in lost opportunities.  There can be many examples of this.

The one that comes immediately to mind is one I've mentioned before in another blog article involving a student I met when I was beginning my undergraduate degree.  We were both registering for classes (at that time, you had to do this in person because there was no Internet).

This student, who was about 10 years older than me, mentioned to me that she waited 10 years to go to college, saving all of her money.  She didn't spend money on going out or buying new clothes.  She saved all of her money over the years for tuition.   She had such a fear of asking for help that she never found out, until she registered, that she was entitled to financial aid.  Instead, she put her life on hold for 10 years and made this unnecessary sacrifice because of her fear of asking for help.

A Lack of Balance and Reciprocity in Your Relationships
Reciprocity is an important element in friendships, family relationships, and romantic relationships.  In situations where you feel comfortable helping, but you're uncomfortable asking for help for yourself, most of the time, your loved ones become uncomfortable coming back to you for help.

This type of situation can create a lack of balance and reciprocity in your relationships.

I'm sure you can think of many other examples or you know of other situations either from your own personal experience or from people that you know.

Getting Help in Therapy
The point is that a fear of asking for help can have serious consequences for you and others, and overcoming this fear can be a freeing experience.  I'll focus on how to overcome this fear in the next blog post.

About Me

I am a licensed NYC psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR and  Somatic Experiencing therapist.

To find out more about me, visit my website:  Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.


Also see:  Overcoming Your Fear of Asking For Help - Part 3: Some Tips.

Overcoming Your Fear of Asking For Help - Part 1

Do you have problems asking for help?  Feeling comfortable asking for help doesn't come naturally for many people.  If you have problems asking for help, you're not alone.

Overcoming Your Fear of Asking For Help

Whether it's asking for help at home or at work, asking for help from family, friends or colleagues is often daunting for many people for a variety of reasons.  Shame is often a big factor.

Since this is a big topic for a blog, I'm going to deal with this issue in a few blog articles.  In this article, I'll discuss some common reasons why people often have problems asking for help.  In future blog articles about this topic, I will explore the consequences of being too fearful to ask for help and how to overcome this problem.

Common Reasons Why People Have Problems Asking For Help:

Fear of Appearing "Weak"
It's interesting that many people, who wouldn't hesitate for a second to help others, often feel that if they have to ask for help themselves that it's a sign of "weakness."

They don't feel this way about other people who ask them for help. But when something happens and they need help, they feel too ashamed to ask. They fear that others will judge them as being "weak" and "needy" if they need help.  

Fear of Loss of Control and Independence
Many people fear that if they have to rely on others to help them, they'll lose control over whatever the situation might be because the person who is helping them will take over.  Often, this has its roots in their childhood history where adults really did take over at that time without allowing the children to have any sense of control or independence.

As a society in the US, we idealize the qualities of independence and self reliance.  People who are able to overcome difficulties on their own by "pulling themselves up by their boot straps" are given high praise.  We glorify people who perform heroic acts, whether this occurs in the news, a movie, or a story in a book.  Because of this, many people feel they should be independent and self reliant all of the time.  They feel they should be able to cope with whatever life throws in their way, no matter what it is.

Fear of Looking Foolish or Stupid
No one wants to look bad.  People who are afraid of asking for help assume that others will see them as foolish or stupid for not being able to handle whatever situation they're dealing with on their own.

People who fear looking foolish or stupid don't want to lose face in front of friends, family or colleagues.  Once again, shame is a big part of the problem.  This can be made even more difficult in a work situation where colleagues are very competitive.

Fear of Being Disappointed Again
For people where there's a childhood history of neglect or abuse, they've learned at an early age that if they ask for help, they will be disappointed.  They've learned that people aren't reliable and it's better not to ask for help.

This could be exacerbated when these same people, as adults, unconsciously choose friends or romantic partners who are irresponsible or unreliable.   Without realizing it, they're often repeating a pattern from childhood by continuing to choose people who will disappointment them.  Then, it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy again and again, confirming their belief that they shouldn't ask others for help.

Fear of Being a Burden to Others
Many psychotherapy clients have mentioned this fear, even when they have a large support network among family and friends who are more than willing to help them.  They automatically assume that people will feel burdened by a request for help.  So, rather than feeling like they're burdening others, they keep their need for help to themselves.

One of the underlying issues in this case is that, at the core, these people often don't feel "good enough" or lovable and, because of this, they don't feel entitled to ask for help.

Fear of Being Vulnerable or Being Duped In Some Way
People who have trust issues (often due to their early history) might fear that they will be duped in some way by people who say they will help them, but who have alternative motives.  They fear they will be taken advantage of by the person who is supposed to be helping them.  How much any one person feels this is a matter of degree ranging from a mild concern to bordering on paranoia.  This is similar to fear of being disappointed.

Fear of Being Assertive
Shyness or a feeling of awkwardness can stop someone from asking for help.  For these people,  it takes a lot of courage to admit that they need help, no matter what type of help it might be.  In many cases, these people also just don't know how to ask for help.  They've never learned how to do it.

Fear of What Will Be Asked In Return
For other people, asking for help automatically means that they'll be indebted to others and it will shift the power dynamic in their relationships.  They automatically assume that asking for help will come with an emotional "price tag" that they might not be able to pay.

Assumptions That Others Should Know That You Need Help Without Being Asked
Many people, who are either too ashamed to ask or feel they aren't deserving of help, rationalize not asking for help by saying that they feel others should already know that they need help without being asked directly.  They feel it should be obvious.

The problem is that, even when it seems obvious to you, other people, for a variety of reasons, often don't recognize it.  They might be completely willing to help if they're asked, but they either don't know or they're afraid to intrude on your situation or there could be so many other reasons why they don't volunteer their help, even though they'd be willing if asked.

When you shift the responsibility onto others because you think they should already know without your having to ask, you're not taking responsibility for what you need.  Once again, there is often a lot of shame underlying this mindset, but the blame gets shifted in a defensive manner onto others.

Getting Help in Therapy
I recognize that one of the most difficult challenges for many people is calling a therapist to ask for help.  People have many misconceptions about what it means to come to therapy, including that a person has to be "crazy" to go to therapy.  Of course, this couldn't be further from the truth.  Furthermore, therapists who go into private practice do so because they want to help people.

If you're considering attending therapy, it's often easier to ask for a consultation first.

When I receive calls from potential clients, I consider the first session to be a consultation where both the client and I see whether we are a good client-therapist match.

I will continue this discussion in future blog posts.

About Me

I am a licensed NYC psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR and Somatic Experiencing therapist.

I work with individual adults and couples, and I have helped many clients to overcome their fear of asking for help.

To find out more about me, visit my website:  Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Self Care For Caregivers - Part 3: Tips For Self Care

In my two prior blog articles, I introduced the topic of self care for caregivers as well as common emotional reactions that caregivers have (see links below for these articles).  In this blog article, I'll focus on tips for self care (see my articles: Self Care For Caregivers - Part 1 and Self Care For Caregivers - Part 2 - Caregivers' Common Emotional Reactions).

Self Care Tips For Caregivers

Self Compassion
Having compassion for yourself as a caretaker is very important.  It's important to be aware that you're going through a difficult time.  Many caregivers either override their emotional reactions or they try to push themselves harder, often leading to chronic stress or burnout.

Chronic stress can lead to many other medical and psychological problems, including heart problems, migraines, diabetes, autoimmune disorders, depression and anxiety.

If a close friend or loved one was going through a similar situation, you would have compassion for him or her, so why not for yourself?

If you allow for self compassion, in my opinion, you're more likely to take care of yourself, so here are some tips that can be useful.

Ask for Help
This is a time when it's important to have a good support network.  Whether you ask for help from family members or friends, don't be ashamed to admit that you can't do everything.  Admit that you're human and, as humans, we all have certain limitations.  Others might want to help, but they might not know what you need, so you need to communicate clearly and specifically what you need.

Aside from loved ones, you might also ask for help from your local church or organizations that are set up to provide respite care.  For instance, the Alzheimer's Association in certain areas provides respite care that can make all the difference in the world.

At the same time, be aware that some people might not be able to help due to the circumstances in their own lives.

Stay Healthy
Taking care of a loved one can make you feel exhausted, stressed and emotionally and physically depleted.  It's important to eat healthy meals, get enough sleep, engage in physical exercise that's right for you, and to have regular medical checkups for yourself for preventive healthcare.

Participate in Support Groups (if you can)
If you're fortunate enough to have support groups in your area, you could benefit from the mutual support available in such a group.  Many organizations, like the Alzheimer's Association and Cancer Care, have support groups.  If you don't have support groups in your area that meet in person, you might be able to find a support group that meets online.  Just knowing and hearing about other caregivers who are having similar experiences can help you to cope better with your situation.

Write in a Journal
Journaling about your feelings when you're going through a difficult time, can help you to release pent up emotions.

Self Care Tips For Caregivers: Write in a Journal

Journaling can also help you to clarify your thoughts and emotions.  You might even discover, as you journal, that there are some bright spots in your experience that you might overlook if you don't take the time to reflect and write about your experiences.  In addition, you might also capture in writing certain poignant moments with your loved one that you can treasure in the future.

Get Help in Therapy
When you attend therapy with a skilled therapist, your session is completely focused on you.  This is so important in terms of your self care when you're a caregiver and your time and energy are mostly focused on someone else.  By participating in therapy, not only can you learn how to cope better as a caregiver, but you can get the emotional support that you need.

About Me

I am a licensed NYC psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, EFT, AEDP and Somatic Experiencing therapist.  

I provide therapy to individual adults and couples in an empathetic and supportive environment.

To find out more about me, visit my website:  Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.