Overcoming Trauma With EMDR Therapy

In my prior article, How EMDR Works: EMDR and the Brain, I gave an overview of the basics of EMDR, including how emotional trauma affects the brain and how EMDR therapy helps to process trauma.

Overcoming Trauma With EMDR Therapy

In this article, which is a continuation of this topic, I'll give a composite scenario to demonstrate how EMDR therapy works.

I'll delve into some of the aspects of EMDR that are uniquely helpful to healing emotional trauma (for an overview of EMDR, see my article:  What is EMDR?)

As always, this composite is a combination of many different cases to protect confidentiality.

Alice
Alice came to therapy because she knew she was overreacting in her relationship with her boyfriend, Ed.

A day or so after she got angry with him, in hindsight, Alice could see that she had overacted, and she felt ashamed and guilty about it.  She would apologize and tell Ed that she would try not to be so reactive, but then a week or so later, she would find herself overreacting again, and this became an ongoing pattern in their relationship.

Alice loved Ed very much and she knew that Ed loved her.  When she was calm, she knew she could trust him, but when she was in the throes of an overreaction, she forgot all of this and she reacted as if he didn't love her and he wasn't trustworthy.

She would often feel rejected and abandoned by things that he said--only to realize afterwards that she overreacted once again.

This happened to Alice so frequently that she was beginning to feel like she was losing her mind.  After she calmed down, she couldn't understand how she could have felt so sure that he was rejecting and abandoning her when she was upset.

She asked herself:  Why couldn't she remember that he loved her?

Even though Ed was patient, Alice knew that her reactions would erode their relationship after a while. She knew she couldn't keep accusing him of being unloving and then apologize afterwards.  She knew she had to do something.

Having been in talk therapy in the past to deal with a traumatic childhood, Alice felt she needed to try a different type of psychotherapy, so when a friend told her how much EMDR helped her, Alice decided to give it a try.

Overcoming Trauma With EMDR Therapy

As we discussed Alice's family history, it became apparent that she was uprooted quite a bit from infancy to adolescence, due to her single mother's substance abuse problems.

During that time she was moved from her mother's home to her maternal grandmother's home and then to an aunt's house.

Finally, when she was a teenager, she moved back with her mother.  By then, her mother was sober, but her mother was still emotionally neglectful.

As an only child, Alice remembered feeling lonely and unloved.  Even though her grandmother and aunt took care of Alice's basic needs, they remained emotionally distant from her.  Alice would pray to have a loving adult come into her life, but she remained without emotional support.

Emotional Neglect:  The Past Affects the Present

As an adult, during her first therapy, which was talk therapy, Alice learned to make intellectual connections between the childhood emotional neglect and her feelings of being unlovable but, even though she had an intellectual understanding, talk therapy didn't help her to actually overcome these feelings.  So, she experienced herself as carrying around this heavy emotional burden throughout her life.

She usually managed to make only one or two close friends because she had a hard time trusting people.

While in college, even though she wanted to be in a loving romantic relationship, she had an even more difficult time trusting men because she felt too emotionally vulnerable to open up (see my article:  An Emotional Dilemma: Wanting But Dreading Love).

After college, having been in talk therapy, Alice knew that her feelings of being unlovable as an adult were connected to her early childhood neglect, but she didn't know how to change this.

She often wondered if she would ever feel emotionally safe enough to enter into a serious romantic relationship (see my article:  Adults Who Were Emotionally Neglected as Children Often Have a Hard Time Trusting).

When she met Ed, she knew he was one of the kindest, gentlest, loving men she ever met.

At first, they got along well.  But as they continued to see each other and got closer, after several months, Alice began to feel emotionally vulnerable and unsafe.

She knew these feelings weren't related to anything that Ed was doing or not doing, but she couldn't stop herself from seeing even the most innocuous remarks that he made as rejecting and abandoning.

During their last argument before Alice started therapy, Alice exploded when Ed said he had to work late and he couldn't see her.  She accused him of lying, not loving her, abandoning her and not caring about her feelings.

Overcoming Trauma With EMDR Therapy

Afterwards, Alice realized that she had overreacted, and she knew that Ed wasn't lying and that he genuinely cared for her.

As Alice recounted this argument and other similar arguments, she broke down in tears.  She said she was sick and tired of feeling this way, tired of accusing Ed of not loving her, and tired of the arguments that she started with him.  She also feared that she would bring about the very thing that she feared most--that Ed would get tired of her and leave her.

Developing Coping Skills as Part of Resourcing Before EMDR Processing
Since Alice came to do EMDR, I began by helping her to develop better coping skills so she could cope with her feelings both in our therapy sessions as we processed her traumatic background as well as in her everyday life.

We focused on helping her to respond instead of react (see my article:  Responding Instead of Reacting).

This phase of EMDR is called resourcing (for more details about resourcing, see  a prior article that I wrote).

As someone who was emotionally neglected as a child, Alice primarily knew only two maladaptive ways of attempting to cope:  overacting or emotionally shutting down.  She knew intellectually that neither way worked for her, but she didn't know what else to do.

After the resourcing phase of EMDR, we were ready to begin processing her traumatic childhood experiences which were triggering her emotional reactions in her current relationship.

Before we started, I reminded Alice that she was in complete control of the process in terms of stopping or pausing the EMDR processing if she felt too overwhelmed.

This is very important for people who have experienced early childhood trauma where they were overwhelmed, there was no one to soothe them, and they felt helpless to do anything about it.

Bridging Back in EMDR
Then, we used a recent memory of Alice being upset with Ed and used that to go back to her earliest memory of feeling this way as a child.

This concept in EMDR is derived from clinical hypnosis and it's known variously as the affect bridge, the float back technique or bridging (see my article:  Bridging Back to Heal).

How EMDR Works:  Bridging Back to Heal

Sensing her emotions and where she felt these emotions in her body, Alice was able to remember an early memory where she was being uprooted once again from her grandmother's house to her aunt's house and how scared and unloved she felt (see my article:  Overcoming the Emotional Pain of Feeling Unlovable).

This earlier memory turned out to be significant in terms of how she got triggered in her current relationship.

EMDR and Imaginal Interweaves
EMDR uses a concept called "imaginal interweaves" to help clients to process emotional trauma.  These imaginal interweaves are used to help clients to feel emotionally supported during the EMDR processing of the trauma memory (see Laurel Parnell's book, Attachment-Focused EMDR).

The goal of EMDR is not to analyze the memories.  After all, many people who come for EMDR therapy have already analyzed their memories in talk therapy and they have intellectual insight.  After talk therapy, what they often don't experience is emotional healing.

This is not to say that talk therapy doesn't work because I continue to do talk therapy.  But there are certain people with early trauma that aren't healed by talk therapy.

So, rather than analyzing the trauma, the goal of EMDR is to process the traumatic memories with some form of bilateral stimulation, BLS (see my prior article for an explanation of BLS) so that the client is no longer affected by the trauma.

To use imaginal interweaves, clients are asked to imagine protective and nurturing people who might have helped them during the trauma.

These protective and nurturing people can be actual people in the client's life who are either from now or back then.   They can also be people from movies, TV programs, books or people from history.

Imaginal interweaves can include anyone and EMDR clients are only limited by their imagination.

They can include an imagined "ideal mother," who is different from their actual mother.

EMDR and Imaginal Interweaves

The idea of using imaginal interweaves is not for the client to believe that anything other than what actually occurred is what happened.  The logical part of the brain knows that, in actuality, there was no one who helped.

But the emotional part of the brain can take in these imaginal interweaves and this is emotionally healing.  This is why imaginal interweaves they're used.  Al Pesso, who developed Psychomotor Therapy, refers to this as new symbolic memories (see my article:  Mind-Body Psychotherapy: Healing With New Symbolic Memories).

The Therapist's Empathic Attunement 
An EMDR therapist needs to know more than how to do EMDR.  She also needs to be exquisitely attuned to what's going on with the client and be able to track the client's emotional experience.

A skilled EMDR therapist needs to be in sync with the client.  This is often referred to as a "right brain to right brain" connection, which means that the therapist's right brain, the area of the brain for empathic attunement, senses what's going on emotionally with the client.

This also presupposes that the client and the EMDR therapist have already developed a good enough working alliance so that the client will allow this (see my articles:  The Creation of the Holding Environment in Psychotherapy and The Therapist's Empathic Attunement Can Be Emotionally Reparative to the Client).

The EMDR therapist must also be able to repair whatever ruptures might occur in therapy (see my article: Ruptures and Repairs in Therapy).

Whenever Alice became stuck in the EMDR processing, we used an imaginal interweave to help her to get unstuck so that the processing could continue.

Gradually, over time, Alice's level of emotional disturbance about this memory was significantly reduced.

EMDR and Generalizable Effects
At the same time, she was much less reactive in her relationship with Ed, so we could tell that the EMDR processing was have a generalizing effect.

Generalizable effects in EMDR means that the healing effects of EMDR are also carrying over to other memories and current interpersonal interactions.

Overcoming Trauma With EMDR Therapy

Completing EMDR Therapy
By the time that Alice completed EMDR therapy, she was no longer overreacting.  She was also no longer feeling unlovable, rejected or abandoned in her relationship.  She was able to free herself emotionally from her traumatic history so that she could live her life unencumbered by these memories.  She was also able could to develop meaningful friendships.

Getting Help in Therapy:
Reacting negatively to the present based on the past is a common experience for people who have experienced emotional trauma, especially if they experienced early childhood trauma.

If you feel that unresolved trauma is keeping you stuck, rather than spending your life reacting based on your past, you owe it to yourself to seek help from a licensed mental health professional who is trained in a mind-body oriented experiential therapy, like EMDR (see my articles:  Experiential Therapy, Like EMDR, Helps to Achieve Emotional Breakthroughs) and Reacting to the Present Based on Your Traumatic Past).

About Me:
I am a licensed NYC psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR and Somatic Experiencing therapist who works with individual adults and couples.

One of my specialities is helping clients to overcome emotional trauma (see my article: What is a Trauma Therapist?

To find out more about me, visit my website:  Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

The Healing Potential of the Therapist's Empathic Attunement

In my prior article, I began discussing the therapist's emotional attunement in the therapy session.  In this blog article, I would like to continue to discuss emotional attunement by focusing on how the therapist's attunement to the client can be emotionally reparative.

The Therapist's Empathic Attunement

The following vignette, which is a composite of many cases, will help to illustrate this point:

Jane
Jane grew up in a household where she was the youngest of 10 children.  Her mother worked cleaning people's apartments, and her father worked in a factory during the day and as a taxi driver at night.  Both of them were exhausted when they came home, and they relied on Jane's older sister, Ruth, to help them with the children and the household chores.

Jane was very different from her siblings.  While they liked to go out and play in the yard, she preferred to stay in and read books.  She loved using her imagination to make up stories and do artwork.  But Ruth, who was 12 years older than Jane, had little patience for Jane.  Ruth was often irritated and resentful that so much was expected of her and she became very impatient with Jane at times, especially when she thought Jane was "wasting time" playing, reading or drawing.

All of Jane's basic needs were taken care of in terms of having a roof over her head, food to eat, and clothing to wear.  But she often felt lonely in her home.

Jane had lots of fantasies about what she wanted to do when she grew up, but she had no one to talk to about it.  Her parents' attitude was that when she graduated high school, she should be happy to find a job, any job.  It didn't matter if she liked it or not.  Liking your work seemed like too big a luxury to Jane's parents.

So, when Jane decided to go to college, her parents and older siblings were flustered and confused.  None of them had gone to college and they couldn't see why she wanted to go.  Her parents warned her that they didn't have the money to send her, so she had to rely on scholarships and part time jobs throughout college.

When Jane graduated college, she was surprised that she didn't feel good about it.  She felt like something was missing, but she didn't know what it was.  

She knew, at least on an rational level, that graduating college was a significant accomplishment. But she didn't feel it.  Her family came to her graduation, but they seemed self conscious, guarded and out of place.  Jane watched her friends' parents swell with pride about their children's graduation, and she wished her family could do the same.

Throughout her 20s, Jane continued to feel that something was missing inside of her, but she couldn't put her finger on what it was.  So, when she was 24, she began therapy.

No one in Jane's family had ever been to therapy, and she didn't dare tell her family.  She knew they wouldn't approve of it and they would think she was wasting money.  They would never understand if she told them that she felt something was missing in her.  They would probably laugh and tell her she had too much time on her hands to think about herself.

Initially, Jane felt self conscious and anxious in therapy.  On some level, she felt she didn't deserve to be there:  Maybe her family was right--maybe therapy was an indulgence that was for other people, not someone like her.  Whenever she had these thoughts, she burned with shame.  And yet...she knew there was something of value for her in therapy.

The Therapist's Empathic Attunement

Over time, Jane began to sense that her therapist cared about her and wanted to hear about what she felt.  At first, this was uncomfortable because Jane wasn't accustomed to this.  When she was growing up, she would normally keep her thoughts and feelings to herself.  Or, she would write stories about young girls like herself, never quite realizing at the time that she was writing about herself.

During the first few months of therapy, Jane felt ambivalent about the therapy process.  On the one hand, she was grateful to have a place where she could speak uninterrupted and have the therapist's undivided attention.  It was a new experience for Jane to be heard in this way.

On the other hand, Jane felt a deep hurt because she realized what she was missing when she was growing up.  As a child, she never allowed herself to feel the pain of the emotional deprivation.  But she felt it now and it made her feel very sad.

One day, when she was feeling particularly undeserving, Jane decided to make up an excuse about not being able to afford therapy.  This wasn't true because Jane had very good out of network benefits that paid for 70% of her therapy.  

But Jane couldn't bring herself to tell her therapist that she felt she didn't deserve all this attention.  So, at the next therapy session, she went in looking outwardly cheerful and confident and told her therapist that she had to end therapy because she could no longer afford to come.

Jane was especially good, even with her close friends, at convincing people that she was happy even when she felt very sad.  She had a lot of experience pretending that she was okay when she really wasn't.  

She was sure that she would convince her therapist.  But to Jane's surprise, her therapist, who was empathically attuned to Jane, mentioned that she sensed there was something else going on, and she wondered if Jane would be willing to discuss it.

What followed in that session was an emotional breakthrough for Jane and a breakthrough for her therapy.  Jane took an emotional risk and opened up.  She cried a lot during that session for everything she didn't get as a child and for how undeserving she felt now.  She spent many sessions after that one focusing on these issues while her therapist remained empathically attuned to her.

If Jane's therapist had not been empathically attuned, she might have accepted Jane's excuse on face value.  And Jane would have continued to feel emotionally deprived and undeserving. 

More than likely, this would have had consequences for both her personal life and her career. But, being empathically attuned, Jane's therapist sensed the underlying issues going on with Jane and let Jane know.

Overall, Jane's therapist's empathic attunement was an emotionally reparative experience for Jane.  It was the first time Jane felt genuinely cared about and understood in this way.

Empathic Attunement and Therapeutic Rapport
In order for there to be empathic attunement in psychotherapy, there needs to be a good fit between therapist and client.

A good fit means there is a rapport between the client and the therapist.  Often, this develops over time.  But when it doesn't  happen, when clients don't feel a rapport with the therapist, I recommend that they discuss it with their therapist.  And if it continues to be a problem, they can find a therapist where they can feel this rapport.

A good therapeutic relationship between client and therapist is one of the best predictors of a good outcome in therapy.  And, just like anything else, some therapists are more empathically attuned than others.

Getting Help in Therapy
No therapist is going to be 100% attuned all of the time.  Therapists are human.  But, overall, as the client, you deserve to have a therapist that you feel is empathically attuned to you most of the time.  As a client, the most important thing is to trust your instincts when choosing a therapist.

And if you're with a therapist, who is usually attuned to you, but who may have lapsed into an empathic failure by not hearing you or misunderstanding you in some way, your therapist might be unaware of it.  Tell her or him.  Often these kinds of situations in therapy can be repaired and it can lead to a breakthrough in therapy and an emotionally reparative experience for the client.

About Me
I am a licensed NYC psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT, Somatic Experiencing and Sex Therapist.

I work with individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website:  Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Why is the Psychotherapist's Empathic Attunement to a Client's Unconscious Communication So Important in Therapy?

When there is a strong sense of empathic attunement between the therapist and client, when feelings are unspoken and communicated without words.  Feelings can be communicated unconsciously (see my article: Why is Empathy So Important in Psychotherapy?).

A Therapist's Empathic Attunement

Sensing Unconscious Communication
A skilled therapist, who is trained in psychodynamic psychotherapy, can often pick up on a client's unconscious communication during a therapy session.  It often goes the other way too, where an intuitive client can pick up on what is unconsciously being communicated by the therapist.

In fact, at various times, we all pick up on what is unconscious and unspoken in our daily lives, especially with people who are close to us.  Sometimes we're more aware of it than others.

The Psychotherapy Session as a Unique Time and Place For Unconscious Communication
The psychotherapy session is a unique place where a special time is designated on a weekly basis for the therapist and the client to meet to focus on the client's emotional needs.  

There are no interruptions or distractions, so this creates an especially good environment for the therapist to pick up on unconscious communication if she works with unconscious process.

There are times when a therapist might ask about what she senses with the client on an unconscious level because she thinks it would help their work together.  Then, there are other times when she might not because it would be premature and would not serve their work.

As a therapist, I find that it's usually best to ask the client rather than to tell him or her what I might be sensing on the unconscious level for several reasons:

• First, I could be completely wrong in what I think I'm sensing.  
• Second, I might be correct, but the client might not be ready to talk about it.  
• Third, by being somewhat tentative in discussing possible unconscious communication, it allows clients the freedom to reflect on it in their own way rather than imposing my view.

Often, if the therapist is emotionally attuned and the timing is right, talking about what is being unconsciously communicated by the client can open up new areas to be explored in the therapy.

An Example of the Therapist's Empathic Attunement to Unconscious Communication in the Therapy Session
It's not unusual for clients to experience feelings of abandonment when their therapist plans to be away.  These are often unconscious feelings.

Clients, who had behave like adults when they were children, are very good at hiding fear of abandonment. They had a lot of practice as children pretending that they were okay when they really weren't (see my article: Unresolved Childhood Trauma).

Many clients even convinced themselves as children that they were really okay when they really weren't.  So, pretending to be okay to themselves as well as others when they're not comes naturally to them.  They don't even need to think about it.

If the therapist is attuned to a client and also knows the client's history, the therapist can often sense the client's unconscious feelings of abandonment before the therapist goes away.  

It's important for the therapist to be as tactful as possible, especially for clients with unresolved trauma.

If the therapist doesn't use tact and good timing, clients might feel ashamed of their feelings, as they might have when they were children when they were expected to be more mature for their age and psychological development at the time.

But if the therapist is tactful and helps clients to understand that many clients experience similar feelings, especially if they had childhood trauma where they were abandoned emotionally, then it can be a relief to clients. This usually makes discussing what has been communicated unconsciously more meaningful to them.

How Does a Therapist Sense the Client's Unconscious Communication?
Not all therapists work with the unconscious.  For instance, a therapist who is strictly a cognitive behavioral therapist often will not deal with the unconscious mind.  

But assuming that the therapist has training in psychodynamic psychotherapy and is skilled in  detecting unconscious communication, she has different ways she might sense unconscious communication from the client.

For instance, as a psychotherapist who was originally trained in psychodynamic psychotherapy, I often sense physically or emotionally what the client is feeling.  

It's often a visceral feeling for me.  Other times, it's a thought.  Or, I might have a particular song playing in my mind and the words or tune are relevant to what's happening with the client.  

A picture might also flash in my mind's eye that is relevant to my interaction with the client during his or her session.  Then, it 's a matter of whether or not to communicate it to the client and, if so, how.

The Therapist's Attunement Can Be Emotionally Reparative For the Client
The therapist's attunement is usually emotionally reparative experience for clients, especially if they grew up with adults who weren't emotionally attuned to them when they were children.

As previously mentioned, therapists make mistakes at times.  When a therapist makes a mistake with regard to emotional attunement, it's important for the therapist to acknowledge this to the client (see my article: Psychotherapy: Ruptures and Repairs Between You and Your Therapist).

My Next Article: The Healing Potential of the Therapist's Empathic Attunement

About Me

I am a licensed New York City psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT,  Somatic Experiencing and Sex Therapist. 

I work with individual adults and couples.

As an Experiential Psychotherapist, who is trained in psychodynamic psychotherapy,  I value clients' unconscious communication.

To find out more about me, visit my website:  Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Welcoming All Emotions

These simple words, "All emotions are welcome here" touched me deeply.  

These words, which were  spoken by an online facilitator in a support group for therapists, were said with such genuine kindness, acceptance and caring that it provided the metaphorical container and holding environment that we all need as we go through the physical, emotional and spiritual challenges during this pandemic (see my articles: Common Reactions to COVID-19: Fear and Anxiety,  The Powerful Impact of Kindness and Reframing Social Connection With Intentionality).

All Emotions Are Welcome Here

So often well-meaning people, who are struggling with accepting their own emotional vulnerability, have difficulty hearing someone else's pain.

In their desire to be uplifting, they unintentionally override the other person's sadness, grief and anger by telling them prematurely to "Be positive" or "Be strong," which makes the other person feel that their emotions are unacceptable in some way or that they're "weak" (see my article: Common Myths About Psychotherapy: Going to Therapy Means You're "Weak".

While it's true that, as we deal with the challenges of this global pandemic, some of us are more fortunate than others, most people are struggling with a myriad of emotions as time goes by.  It's important to feel that all emotions, no matter how difficult, are accepted and acceptable (see my article: Resilience: Accepting Your Negative Emotions).

You might think that telling someone that you accept where they are emotionally might not be enough to soothe them, but keeping an open heart and mind and remaining in empathic resonance with another person is truly a gift that he or she might not receive from anyone else.

If you're feeling too emotionally vulnerable to delve into someone else's feelings, that's okay.  You can respond by simply saying, "I'm here for you" or "I care about you."

If words don't come at all, you can convey your love and caring by looking at them through your online connection and putting your hand on your heart.

At this time when so many people are trying to make sense of their emotions, when words don't come to you, whatever non-verbal loving gesture you can make will be received like a healing balm by your loved ones when you convey it with a loving intention.

Getting Help in Therapy
The concept of "starting where the client is" is the hallmark of good therapy.  Meeting and accepting the client wherever they are emotionally is the beginning of healing for them.

Many therapists, including me, are providing online therapy (also known as teletherapy or telehealth) during the COVID-19 crisis (see my article: Advantages of Online Therapy When You Can't See Your Therapist in Person).

If you're feeling overwhelmed, you're not alone.  Getting the emotional support that you need is crucial now.

Taking the first step of making that phone call to get help is often the most difficult, and it's also the start of healing.

About Me
I am a licensed New York City psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT and Somatic Experiencing therapist (see my article: The Therapeutic Benefits of Integrative Psychotherapy).

I work with individual adults and couples.

I am providing online therapy while I am out of the office.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

What is Empathic Failure in Psychotherapy?

Most licensed psychotherapists are individuals who are credentialed and skilled in their areas of expertise. I believe the vast majority of psychotherapists are ethical and empathetic individuals who have their clients' best interests at heart and help their clients to overcome their psychological problems. But there can be big differences in terms of skills and experience from one psychotherapist to the next, and I believe that clients should be informed consumers, which is why I'm focusing on this issue.  

Psychotherapists are also human and, like everyone else, they make mistakes in therapy.  In this article, I'm focusing on a particular mistake called "empathic failure" where this is not an occasional problem but a recurrent problem with some psychotherapists (see my article: Why is Empathy Important in Psychotherapy?).

What is Empathic Failure in Psychotherapy?

What is Empathy?
Empathy involves a psychological process where you're able to put yourself in other people's shoes and get a sense of what they're feeling.  For instance, if your friend is upset because her dog died, even if you never had a dog in your life, you can put yourself in your friend's shoes and understand why she's upset about the loss.  You can tap into your friend's feelings and sense what she's feeling and resonate with her sadness about the loss.

What is Empathic Failure in Everyday Relationships?
Empathic failures occur all the time between friends, spouses, family members, students and teachers and so on.  Except when dealing with highly insensitive people, I believe that most instances of empathic failure occur inadvertently.

For instance, a husband might forget that his wife told him that she would like a particular perfume for her birthday. Instead, he buys her a vacuum cleaner and he feels proud of himself because it's energy efficient.

He expects that his wife will be thrilled.  But his wife's reaction is the complete opposite of what he expected--she is upset and angry because she feels he didn't hear her when she told him what she wanted.  She also feels that he sees her only as a "housewife" who cleans the apartment rather than a sensual woman.

While this might be very disappointing for his wife and it's an empathic failure, this isn't a reason to get a divorce if he is usually empathetic and they have a good relationship most of the time.  They can work out this problem and the husband can be more aware next time.

What is Empathic Failure in Psychotherapy?
When clients begin psychotherapy, they usually have a certain degree of trust that the psychotherapist is a credentialed mental health professional who will be attuned to their needs in therapy and help them to overcome the emotional problems.

Aside from all the other clinical skills that psychotherapists learn, one of the most important is how to be empathetic towards clients in therapy.  This is a skill that is honed in graduate school and, if the psychotherapist goes to postgraduate training, this skill usually developed even more.

I believe that most psychotherapists are empathetic individuals and those who go to graduate school who lack this skill are weeded out by supervisors and instructors.  That's not to say that there aren't some people who somehow make it through the screening process at times.

Even the best psychotherapists make mistakes in therapy at times, including empathic failures.  But there's a difference between a therapist who makes occasional mistakes related to empathic failure and those who do it habitually. So, let's start by defining what an empathic failure is in therapy:

An empathic failure occurs in therapy when the psychotherapist isn't attuned to the client.  This can occur in many ways:

• Forgetting important details about the client's life
• Confusing the client's history with another client
• Forgetting what the client and the therapist discussed in the prior session
• Forgetting an appointment with the client
• Focusing on the psychotherapist's life instead of focusing on the client's problems
• Projecting the psychotherapist's needs, wants, and problems onto the client
• Being dismissive of the client's needs
• Failing to be attuned to the client's emotions and mislabeling these emotions
• Failing to take responsibility for the mistakes that the psychotherapist made in therapy

and so on.

As I mentioned, even the best psychotherapists commit empathic failures at times.  For instance, a therapist, who is usually punctual and organized, can confuse his appointment schedule if the therapist is going through a very stressful time in his life.  If things were going smoothly before that, assuming that the therapist takes responsibility for the mistake, most clients would accept an apology and the therapy would continue (see my article: Ruptures and Repairs in Psychotherapy).

The empathic failures that I'm most concerned about are the ones that occur on a regular basis with a client who might have grown up with parents who lacked empathy for him.

Since this client grew up in an environment with chronic empathic failure, he might not recognize that he is in an unhealthy situation with his therapist.  It might seem "normal" to him because this is all that he knows.

The following fictional vignette illustrates how empathic failure can occur between a client and a therapist and steps that the client can take to take care of him or herself.

Fictional Vignette:  Mistakes Psychotherapists Make in Psychotherapy: Empathic Failure

Mike
Mike began therapy after a recent breakup. He told his new therapist that he felt unlovable and not good enough for most of his life.  This began in early childhood when his mother let him know that neither she nor his father wanted to have children, and Mike was "an accident."

He grew up feeling like he was "an inconvenience" to his parents, who paid very little attention to him.  As soon as he was old enough, they sent him to boarding school, which was a lonely experience for Mike.

When Mike looked up, he saw that his therapist had fallen asleep.  He wasn't sure what to do, so he cleared his throat hoping to wake the therapist up.  The therapist was startled by the sound and woke up with a jolt, "Oh, ah...what were you saying?"

Mike wasn't sure how much his therapist missed, so he started again at the beginning to describe his breakup and his family history.

Over the next few weeks, there were several other incidents.   There were a couple of times when Mike's therapist double booked appointments and Mike had to go home instead of seeing the therapist.

There was an incident where the therapist seemed to completely forget what Mike had told him about his family history and about the breakup, so Mike had to tell the therapist about these issues again.  Then, there was one day when Mike showed up for his regularly scheduled appointment and the therapist wasn't there.  Mike checked his voicemail to see if the therapist had left a message, but there were no messages.

Later that evening, when Mike met his close friend, Larry, and told him what had happened when Mike went to his therapist's office and the therapist wasn't there, Larry asked him questions about the therapy and if there were other problems in the therapy before this.

Mike thought about it for a minute and then told Larry about the other incidents.  While Mike spoke, Larry, who had good experiences in therapy before, listened carefully.  After Mike told him about the incidents, Larry told Mike that he needed to find another therapist because his current therapist seemed irresponsible and not attuned to Mike.

Since Larry knew Mike a long time, he also knew about Mike's childhood history and knew that Mike's experiences with his therapist were harmful.  He told Mike that he thought Mike's therapist wasn't treating him well and gave him all the reason why he thought this.  Mike listened, realized that what Larry was telling him resonated with him and that he probably had a blind spot about this.

When he went to his next session, Mike explained to his therapist why he thought the therapy wasn't working out for him and specifically why he felt he wasn't being treated well by the therapist.  His therapist looked uncomfortable, but he acknowledged that he had made mistakes with Mike.

Mike thought about it and decided that he ought to have consultations with other psychotherapists.  After two other consultations, Mike chose to work with another psychotherapist who seemed much more attuned to him.

He had one more session with his current therapist for closure and then began to meet regularly with the new therapist.  During that therapy, Mike began to understand why he had a blind spot in his former therapy.

He was also able to make connections between his history of emotional neglect with his family and the empathic failure that he experienced with his previous therapist.  This work helped Mike to feel that he deserved to be treated better in all areas of his life.

Conclusion
As I mentioned earlier, I believe that most psychotherapists are empathetic individuals who got into the mental health field to help people.

There can be empathic failures in any relationship.  Ideally, they are few and far between and when they occur, the person who made the mistake is able to admit it so there can be emotional repair.

An occasional mistake can occur in therapy, and the therapist should acknowledge the rupture and make an effort to repair the therapeutic relationship.  But when there are consistent empathic failures in psychotherapy with a particular psychotherapist, the client would do well to address these issues in therapy and to make a decision as to whether s/he wants to stay or find a different therapist.

Unfortunately, clients who grew up being emotionally neglected or abuse often have a blind spot for empathic failures because it seems "normal" to them.

Although this is a blog article and of necessity it's short, I hope it will be helpful to clients who might be experiencing consistent empathic failures in their therapy to become more aware of it and to take care of themselves by finding a therapist who can meet their needs.

Getting Help in Therapy
If you are struggling with an emotional problem that you have been unable to resolve, you could benefit from seeing a licensed mental health professional.

A consultation or two with a therapist (or more than one therapist) can help you to decide if you and the therapist are a good match (see my article: How to Choose a Psychotherapist).

About Me
I am a licensed NYC psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR and Somatic Experiencing therapist who provides integrative psychotherapy to individual adults and couples (see my article: Integrative Psychotherapy).

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Striving to Be a Lifelong Learner

Lifelong learners are people who are inherently curious and self motivated to continue learning way beyond what's required in high school and college.  Striving to be a lifelong learner not only helps you to understand yourself, but it helps you to develop insight into other people and the world around you, whether you learn through reading, listening to music or traveling and meeting new people and discovering another culture (see my articles: Reading Literature and the Positive Effect on the Brain and Learning About Yourself While Traveling).

Striving to Be a Lifelong Learner

When I was in junior high school and high school, much of what I was required to learn was boring to me.  I learned my lessons because I had to and I got good grades, but throughout my life, whenever I've been bored with whatever I'm required to learn, I find something else that captivates me.  

That meant that my best friend in high school and I would plan our own educational day trip by going to the museum or admiring the architecture in various parts of Manhattan.  This kept us from being weighed down by the tedium of having to memorize dates in history or mathematical formulas that had no meaning for us because of the way it was taught.

In college and graduate school, things improved substantially. The classes were more interesting and I was asked to develop my mind and to think creatively rather than just give back to the instructor what s/he told us in class.  

When I was in college, I was a psychology major and loved my psychology and anthropology classes the most out of all my classes.  Learning about psychological behavior and cultural anthropology fascinated me.

My postgraduate psychoanalytic training was the best.  I enjoyed the classes on contemporary relational psychoanalysis much more than the classes on classical psychoanalysis, so when I was bored with a particular required paper on classical psychoanalysis, I would balance it for myself by reading a book by Stephen Mitchell, Ph.D., who was a contemporary relational psychoanalyst. In fact, he coined the term "relational psychoanalysis." 

I learned the most when I was a teaching fellow in my postgraduate training.  I worked at the mental health center that was connected to my psychoanalytic training department.

Initially, it was challenging because, in my opinion, graduate school hardly prepares you to do psychotherapy, so I was learning how to be a psychotherapist as I was working with clients.  But, despite the challenge, I had excellent supervisors, who provided guidance.

I was also required to be in my own three-time-a-week psychoanalysis, which was the most valuable aspect of my psychoanalytic postgraduate training.  

Even now, almost 20 years after I left the four year postgraduate training, I can say that the immersion process of taking classes, being supervised individually and in group, seeing clients at the mental health center, and being in my own psychoanalysis was one of the most valuable experiences in my life.  Not only did I learn about my clients, but I learned so much about myself.

I love attending clinical workshops and conferences to learn new treatment modalities.  This is one of the reasons why I love being a psychotherapist--as a psychotherapist, you're always learning.  

It's a wonderful time to be in the psychotherapy field because we know so much more now about the brain and the connection between the mind and the body, and this has fostered many different mind-body oriented types of therapy, like EMDR Therapy, Somatic Experiencing as well as the value of clinical hypnosis.

I also still continue to learn so much from my clients.  By listening and being attuned to their experiences, I can relate to what they're going through.  Often, I've gone through many of the same experiences, so I usually understand their problems on many different levels.

Many people have said to me, "How can you stand listening to people's problems day in and day out?" because they think that being a psychotherapist means listening to people complain (see my article: Psychotherapy is Much More Than Just Venting and Psychotherapists Listening and Learning From the Client).  

But being a psychotherapist is so much more than that.  Even when it might not be transparent to the client, psychodynamically trained psychotherapists aren't just "listening to complaints."  They're conceptualizing what's going on internally with the client and how the past and the present might be connected (see my article: Overcoming Trauma: When the Past is in the Present).

They're also listening for the transferential aspects of the therapy (see my articles: What is Transference?, Psychotherapy and the Positive Transference, What is the Negative Transference?, and Psychotherapy and the Erotic Transference: "Falling In Love" With Your Psychotherapist).

Psychotherapists and clients are also involved in an intersubjective experience that's hard to describe in words if you've never experienced it as a psychotherapist or as a client in therapy (see my article: Psychotherapy: A Unique Intersubjective Experience).

The intersubjective dynamic that's between the client and the therapist in a psychotherapy session is alive with meaning.  It's unlike anything that I've ever experienced before, and when the therapist and the client have a good rapport, there is a right brain-to right-brain connection that can be healing for both of them.  Of course, the focus is on the client, but therapists also experience the benefits of this special connection (see my article: The Therapist's Empathic Attunement Can Be Emotionally Reparative For the Client).

Encouraging Lifelong Learning

Becoming curious and psychologically mind is generally one of the broad goals of therapy.  Even when clients come to therapy for a very specific goal, like overcoming a phobia or coping with the death of a loved one, the experience of being in therapy usually broadens them along the way.

It's wonderful to see clients become curious about themselves and others in therapy.  It's like a whole new world has opened up for them.  This is something that I think most psychotherapists encourage because, in my opinion, psychotherapy should be more than just coming to resolve a particular problem.  While it can be that if that's what the client wants,  it's often much more.

Psychoanalysis and other forms of depth psychology aren't as popular as they used to be.  Most people don't want to come to therapy three times a week or focus on their dreams.  

And yet, in integrative psychotherapy, where various types of therapy are used in combination, like psychodynamic therapy and Somatic Experiencing, the client derives the benefits of depth psychology along with the benefits of more focused therapy (see my articles: Contemporary Psychoanalysis and EMDR Therapy and The Therapeutic Benefits of Integrative Psychotherapy).

And even though most clients don't want to talk about their dreams, if they're open to it, I tell them about Embodied Imagination dreamwork, a neo-Jungian form of dreamwork developed by Robert Bosnak, and almost everyone is fascinated by it because it's not the usual type of dream analysis where "this equals that" (see my article: Dreams and Embodied Imagination).

So, I encourage my clients who are open to it to be lifelong learners about themselves, the people around them, and the their larger world.  I believe it enhances personal growth and development, which keeps life fascinating.

About Me

I am a licensed NYC psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR and Somatic Experiencing therapist who practices integrative therapy to collaboratively develop the best treatment plan for each client (see my articles: The Benefits of Psychotherapy and How to Choose a Psychotherapist)

I work with individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW- NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

What is the Corrective Emotional Experience in Therapy?

Most contemporary psychotherapists today agree that intellectual insight alone isn't enough to repair traumatic experiences.  Many of them would agree that a corrective emotional experience in therapy can go a long way to healing trauma and is a much more transformative experience for clients than developing intellectual insight alone (see my articles: Experiential Therapy Can Lead to Emotional Breakthroughs and The Therapist's Empathic Attunement Can Be Emotionally Reparative For the Client).

What is the Corrective Emotional Experience in Therapy?

What is the Corrective Emotional Experience in Therapy?
The concept of the corrective emotional experience in therapy was developed by Franz Alexander and Thomas M. French.

The corrective emotional experience in therapy occurs when the client has an experience with the therapist that challenges old distorted beliefs and perceptions.

For instance, if a man grew up with an emotionally abusive or neglectful mother, he might have the distorted belief that "all women are abusive and neglectful, and they can't be trusted."

If this same man comes to therapy and he experiences a woman therapist as being empathetic, warm and trustworthy, he is having an experience with his therapist that challenges his belief about women.    He is now having a new experience that he and his therapist can explore further in therapy.

In other words, he is having a corrective emotional experience that can be healing for him and help him to grow.

A Fictionalized Vignette as an Example of the Corrective Emotional Experience in Therapy

Sam
As an only child, Sam grew up with parents who were preoccupied with their own lives and who didn't have much time for Sam.

Sam spent most of his time with his nanny, who provided basic care, but who wasn't especially warm or caring.

Even before Sam was born, his parents knew that they wanted a child who would eventually follow in his father's footsteps.  Sam's father had his own law firm, and he expected that any child of his would eventually join the firm.

From an early age, Sam was aware of his parents' wishes.  Although he loved to paint and he wanted to be an artist, he hid his passion for painting from his parents because he knew they would disapprove.  This made Sam feel invisible to his parents (see my article: Growing Up Feeling Invisible and Emotionally Invalidated).

Instead of showing his parents how passionately he loved to paint, he pretended that he wanted to be an attorney because he knew this was the only way that his parents would approve of him.

Whenever his parents talked to him about law school, Sam would pretend that he was interested and his parents were happy and praised him.  But hiding such an important part of himself and pretending to be someone that he wasn't made Sam feel ashamed, guilty, lonely and a fraud (see my articles: Understanding the False Self: Part 1 and Understanding the False Self - Part 2: Getting Help in Therapy).

As a result of pretending to be what his parents wanted him to be, Sam believed that no one would accept him for who he is and, if he wanted to get along in the world, he would need to pretend to be someone else.

Throughout law school, Sam felt depressed.  He did well academically because he was smart, but his heart wasn't in it.

Sam's parents never seemed to notice that Sam was unhappy.

Sam felt that his parents didn't see him for himself at all and had no idea who he really was.  They only cared that he gratified their wishes.

After he joined his father's law firm, Sam was miserable.  He hated the work and didn't feel suited for it.  He longed to paint and to be his own person.

Beyond casually dating, Sam avoided getting into a relationship because he didn't believe that any woman could appreciate him for who he really was.

What is the Corrective Emotional Experience in Therapy?

When it became too much of an emotional strain, Sam began therapy.

At first, Sam was afraid to express his true desire to become an artist.  He feared that his therapist would be like his parents and would show disdain for his passion.

But one day when he was talking about how miserable he was as a lawyer, his therapist asked him what he would really like to do, and Sam took a risk and told her that he loved to paint and he had always wanted to be an artist, but he feared displeasing his parents.  At that point, he discovered that his therapist worked with many different kinds of artists, and he was relieved.

This discussion opened up a much larger discussion for many sessions about how Sam believed that no one could really care for him as he really is and he needed to pretend to be someone else (see my article: Overcoming the Fear that People Won't Like You If They Knew the Real You).

What is the Corrective Emotional Experience in Therapy?

As Sam opened up more with his therapist, he sensed her compassion and genuine interest in him and his passion for painting and this allowed him to be more open and vulnerable with her (see my article: Why is Empathy Important in Psychotherapy? and The Holding Environment in Therapy: Maintaining a Safe Therapeutic Environment For the Client).

As they talked about what it was like for Sam to experience a caring, open and compassionate individual who was genuinely interested in Sam for who he really is--rather than who he thought he had to pretend to be--Sam had an emotional breakthrough.  This was his corrective emotional experience and he realized that his belief that no one could ever accept his true self was a distortion.

Sam mourned in therapy for what he didn't get from his parents.  He also continued to allow himself to be genuine and vulnerable with his therapist, which was emotionally healing.

Eventually, not withstanding his parents' disapproval, Sam began a Master in Fine Arts program to pursue his love of painting.

He also began dating and felt for the first time that he might meet a woman who would care for him as his true self (see my article: Becoming Your True Self).

Conclusion
Corrective emotional experiences can occur in therapy when the therapist is empathetic and can provide the client with a new healing experience that challenges distorted beliefs and perceptions.

In order to experience the corrective emotional experience, the client must feel safe enough with the therapist to have a new experience.  For some people, who are severely traumatized, it might take a while to trust the therapist enough to allow this experience to occur.

The corrective emotional experience is a transformative experience for the client and opens up the possibility for big changes and psychological growth.

Getting Help in Therapy
Traumatic childhood experiences are difficult to overcome on your own.

As a result of those traumatic experiences, you might have developed certain beliefs and perceptions about yourself and others that are distorted.

Psychotherapy with a skilled therapist, who knows how to provide a safe and trusting therapeutic environment, can lead to a corrective emotional experience that can transform your life.

Rather than allowing distorted beliefs perceptions to limit your sense of yourself and others, you could benefit from working with an experienced psychotherapist who can help you overcome these obstacles.

About Me
I am a licensed NYC psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR and Somatic Experiencing therapist who works with individual adults and couples.

I provide an empathetic and supportive therapeutic environment for clients to allow them to have emotional breakthroughs in therapy.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

How Psychotherapy Helps You to Become More Self Reflective

In a prior article, Discovering That Your Feelings Aren't Facts, I discussed that many clients begin psychotherapy with an inability to distinguish between their feelings and objective reality.  It's as if they're looking through a distorted lens based on their own feelings.

How Psychotherapy Helps You to Become More Self Reflective

I also discussed that psychotherapy provides an opportunity to become more self reflective, objective and emotionally aware, which often leads to a more fulfilling life.  In this article, I'm going into more detail about how clients in therapy can learn to develop these skills.

The Observing Ego, Clinical Hypnosis and Hypnoprojectives
In psychotherapy there's a term called the "observing ego," which is the ability to stand both inside your experience as well as outside your experience at the same time.

It's as if there were two of you--one that feels your internal experience and one that stands just a little behind and above you that can experience your internal experience, see yourself and observe the external circumstances of your situation.

As a hypnotherapist, there is a hypnoprojective exercise that I sometimes use when I use clinical hypnosis with clients that helps them to enhance their observing ego and ability to self reflect.

I ask the client to imagine herself seated in a movie theatre.

The client arrives just before the movie starts and finds a comfort seat as she waits for the movie to begin.  Everything else--the temperature in the movie theatre and the general atmosphere--are comfortable.

As the movie begins, she realizes that it's about a character who is similar to her in many ways and who has the same presenting problem that brought the client into therapy.

The Observing Ego, Clinical Hypnosis and Hypnoprojectives

At the same time that the client is seated and watching the movie, there is another part of her that is in the projection booth who is observing the part of her that's seated.  The part in the projection booth also has a view of the entire theatre and she is watching the movie.

The benefit of using a hypnoprojective is the client often develops insight into her problem by externalizing the problem to the movie screen and making it concrete.  By making the movie about someone else, the client has an opportunity to be more objective.

Also, the relaxed state of hypnosis allows the client access to unconscious information that she normally wouldn't have access to in a fully awakened state.

With regard to our discussion about an ability to self reflect and developing the observing ego, the part of the client who is in the projection booth is an observing ego.

This part has the unique perspective of having both the internal and external experiences and has a full view of everything.  The part in the projection booth is also watching the part seated in the theatre and often develops insight into that part of herself.

During the debriefing after the hypnoprojective hypnotic exercise, clients will often say that they're surprised that they were able to see their problem and the solution with much more clarity (see my article: The Unconscious Mind: The "Symptom" Contains the Solution).

Mindfulness Meditation
I often recommend that clients practice mindfulness meditation as another way to become more self reflective and develop an observing ego (see my article: Psychotherapy and the Mindful Self).

Mindfulness Meditation As a Way to Become More Self Reflective and Develop an Observing Ego

For beginners, it's often easier to follow a mindfulness recording, like the recordings developed by mindfulness expert Jon Kabat Zinn, as a way to start.

Aside from helping you with emotional regulation, mindfulness meditation also helps you to develop and improve your self awareness.

With regular practice, mindfulness meditation can help you to reduce stress, improve your autoimmune system, improve concentration and memory, and increase emotional intelligence.

The Observing Ego: The Ability to Remain Rooted in Your Experience At the Same Time As You Stand Just Outside Your Experience
Hypnoprojectives and mindfulness meditation are two ways to develop an observing ego.

Aside from these powerful tools, being open to your therapist's observations can also give you a new perspective beyond your subjective experience.  It allows you to consider an alternative to your subjective state at the same time that you're rooted in your own experience.

This is one of the benefits of being in therapy (see my article: The Benefits of Psychotherapy).

Consider the Following Fictionalized Scenario About the Observing Ego in a Psychotherapy Session:
Ella comes to therapy in a bad mood.  She tells her therapist that she's feeling pessimistic about a new relationship because the man she's dating seemed preoccupied and distracted when they spoke last night.

Based on her pessimistic feelings about the relationship, Ella's thoughts are off the races:  She just knows that he's going to break up with her, and if he breaks up with her, she won't meet anyone else as nice as he is, and then she'll be alone for the rest of her life.

How Psychotherapy Helps You to Become More Self Reflective

Her therapist recognizes this as one of Ella's recurring patterns that creates problems in her life: Ella  assumes that her feelings are facts.

So, her therapist asks Ella a series of questions to help Ella to develop a more observing ego:  Did anything negative happen between her and her boyfriend?  Did he say that he didn't want to date her anymore?  What other evidence is there to support Ella's feelings?  What makes Ella assume that her feelings are facts?

Ella reflects upon her therapist's questions, and she becomes aware that she is projecting her own anxiety and negativity onto her boyfriend.  She realizes that she has no objective reason to believe that her boyfriend will break up with her.

Later that day, Ella's boyfriend calls her and apologizes for being distracted on the phone the night before.  He tells her that he was worried about a work problem, but that problem has since been resolved and he is feeling better.  When they see each other later that night, her boyfriend is his usual affectionate, attentive self.

How Psychotherapy Helps You to Become More Self Reflective

When Ella returns to her next therapy session, she tells her therapist that she realizes that she fell back into her recurring pattern of believing that her feelings were facts.  She feels frustrated that she continues to regress into this old pattern from time to time.

But, at the same time, Ella also recognizes that she doesn't fall back into this old pattern nearly as much as she used to before she came to therapy, so she is aware that she has made progress in therapy.

Ella made a commitment to her therapist to increase her mindfulness meditation practice and to also practice stepping outside her experience when she's tempted to project her negative feelings again.

Conclusion
The ability to self reflect is essential to being a self aware adult.  Without the ability to self reflect, you're more likely to look at yourself and others through the distorted lens of your own perceptions.

One of the benefits of psychotherapy is that it helps you to develop the ability to self reflect by developing an observing ego.  This is often a one-step-forward-two steps-back process as you develop this skill (see my article: Setbacks Are a Normal Part of Psychotherapy Along the Road to Healing).

The more you practice developing an observing ego, the better you'll get at using it.

Getting Help in Therapy
We all have our blind spots (see my article: Overcoming Your Emotional Blind Spots).

Often, we don't realize that we have a particular blind spot until we're able to stand outside our experience and reflect on it.

Psychotherapy provides a unique intersubjective experience where an attuned therapist can help you to overcome your blind spots, negative projections and your confusion about your feelings being facts (see my article:  The Psychotherapy Session: A Unique Intersubjective Experience).

Rather than struggling on your own, you can get the help you need with a skilled psychotherapist (see my article: The Psychotherapist's Empathic Attunement Can Be Emotionally Reparative For the Client).

Psychotherapy can help you to free yourself from recurring negative patterns that are keeping you stuck.

About Me
I am a licensed NYC psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR and Somatic Experiencing therapist who works with individual adults and couples.

I have helped many clients to lead more meaningful lives.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.