How is Emotional Avoidance Related to Unresolved Trauma?

Emotional avoidance is the tendency to avoid or control the experiencing or expression of distressing emotions.  Although emotional avoidance might provide temporary relief, it's damaging in the long term (see my article: Changing Maladaptive Coping Strategies: Avoidance).

Emotional Avoidance and Unresolved Trauma

Examples of Emotional Avoidance

Emotional avoidance can take many forms:

• workaholism
  
• Alcohol or drug abuse
• Out of control sexual behavior
• Compulsive gambling
  
• Overspending or so-called "retail therapy"
• Spending a lot of time watch TV as a distraction from painful emotions
• Spending a lot of time online to avoid painful emotions
• Engaging in infidelity
• Other forms of distraction and other maladaptive behavior

Emotional Avoidance as an Intra-Personal and Interpersonal Problem

Emotional avoidance can happen both intra-personally (on your own/within yourself) when you avoid feeling your emotions or interpersonally (with others) when you avoid experiencing or expressing yourself to your significant other, friends, family and others.

Why Do People With Unresolved Trauma Engage in Emotional Avoidance?

People with unresolved trauma often haven't developed the capacity to tolerate distressing emotions.  They find it emotionally overwhelming, so it's understandable why they try to avoid experiencing or expressing these emotions, but there are consequences to this avoidance (see below).

The Problem With Avoiding Distressing Emotions Related to Trauma

Although people can avoid distressing emotions temporarily, over time these emotions can intensify and become increasingly difficult to avoid.  

This could mean that they engage in more maladaptive behavior to avoid experiencing disturbing emotions. So, for instance, if they are drinking excessively, they might drink even more to suppress these emotions.

Since the mind and the body are connected, people who continue to avoid emotions can develop stress-related physical symptoms, including headaches and other body aches, high blood pressure, etc--as well as other mental health problems like depression and anxiety.

In addition, avoidant behavior prevents people with unresolved trauma from working through their trauma, so they are continually triggered emotionally.

Developing Better Coping Mechanisms in Therapy

One of initial strategies in trauma therapy is to help clients develop better coping mechanisms (see my article: Developing Coping Strategies Before Working on Trauma).

A skilled trauma therapist can help clients to develop a greater capacity to tolerate uncomfortable emotions by teaching them coping strategies (see my article: What is a Trauma Therapist?).

Depending upon the client and their trauma, this can take many forms. For instance, trauma therapist might teach them breathing exercises or meditation techniques to help alleviate their discomfort (see my articles: Square Breathing, Grounding Techniques, Trauma Therapy and Grounding Techniques and Safe Place Meditation).

For clients who are especially avoidant, they might start with a less distressing aspect of their unresolved problem.  For instance, if there is a situation that a client categorizes as a 4 (on a scale of 0-10 with the higher scores related to more disturbance), a trauma therapist might help the client to learn to cope with that situation before moving on to more distressing situations that evoke a more avoidant response, like situations the client categorizes as a 7, 8, 9 or 10.

As the client develops the capacity to deal with the situations on the lower end of the scale, they can progress to situations higher up on the scale because they now have more of tolerance for difficult emotions (see my article: Expanding Your Window of Tolerance).

A skilled trauma therapist will help clients to develop the necessary internal resources before they work on reprocessing trauma (see my article: Developing Internal Resources and Coping Skills).

Reprocessing Unresolved Trauma

After the client has gone through the preparation phase of trauma therapy and they have the necessary internal resources, they will reprocess the trauma with a therapy that is specifically developed for trauma reprocessing, like EMDR therapy (see my article: EMDR Therapy Helps to Achieve Emotional Breakthroughs).

After the trauma has been successfully reprocessed, there is no longer a need to avoid emotions because they are no longer disturbing.

Getting Help in Therapy

Emotional avoidance provides temporary relief from disturbing emotions, but this usually causes even bigger problems for the individual and their relationships.

If you tend to avoid uncomfortable emotions, get help from a licensed mental health professional who specializes in trauma.

Once you have worked through unresolved trauma, you can live a more authentic and meaningful life that is free from your traumatic history.

About Me

I am a licensed New York City psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT and Somatic Experiencing therapist.

I work with individual adults and couples, and I specialize in helping clients to overcome unresolved trauma.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Self Help Strategies For Coping With an Anniversary of a Traumatic Event

Anniversaries of traumatic events often bring back emotions and thoughts associated with the original event.  This can include sadness, anxiety, anger and feelings of powerlessness as well as other reactions.

Coping With An Anniversary of a Traumatic Event

There is no one way to heal from trauma.  Each person will heal in their own way and in their own timeframe.  

Self Help Strategies For Coping With the Anniversary of a Traumatic Event

The following coping strategies can be helpful:

• Know That Experiencing Distress on the Anniversary of a Traumatic Event is Common and Normal:  You're not alone.  Many people feel distressed on these anniversaries.  Feeling distressed is a common response.  You might find yourself remembering the event in more detail than you normally do as the anniversary brings back memories.

• Acknowledge Your Thoughts and Emotions: Rather than trying to suppress emotions and thoughts that might be uncomfortable for you, acknowledge them.  Suppressing thoughts and emotions will only intensify them, so set aside some time to allow yourself to experience what is coming up for you and know that these experiences are common.  In addition to your distress, you might also find yourself remembering pleasant memories from before the traumatic event alongside the sad ones.  This is also a common experience.

• Be Self Compassionate: Instead of judging yourself for having these thoughts and emotions, be compassionate--like you would for a good friend or a close family member (see my article: Developing Self Compassion as an Essential Part of Trauma Recovery).

• Find Healthy Ways to Cope With Your Distress:  Whether you talk to a trusted friend or family member or you journal about what you're experiencing, it's important to find healthy ways to cope with your distress. Creating a personal ritual can be meaningful and helpful.  It doesn't have to be an elaborate ritual.  It can be as simple as lighting a candle or using an image that is symbolic of the anniversary.  Avoid negative ways of coping like drinking or drugging that will only mask your experiences (see my article: Writing to Cope With Grief)

• Try to Stay Balanced: It's easy to get caught up in thoughts of "what if" or "if only."  Nothing good will come from this, so try to bring yourself back to the present moment.  One way to do this is to engage your senses:

• What you see
• What you hear
• What you feel (tactile sensation)
• What you smell
• What, if anything, you taste

Getting Help in Therapy

Anniversaries of traumatic events can be challenging.  

If you find self help strategies aren't enough for you, you could benefit from working with a licensed mental health professional.

A skilled psychotherapist, who specializes in trauma, can help you to work through distressing feelings.

About Me

I am a licensed New York City psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT and Somatic Experiencing therapist.

I work with individual adults and couples.

I specialize in helping clients to overcome trauma (see my article: What is a Trauma Therapist?).

To find out more abut me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Mindfulness Meditation Can Help to Reduce Anxiety

In my last two articles, I focused on how to reduce anxiety (see my articles: Self Help Tips For Anxiety and Getting Help in Therapy For Anxiety).  In the current article, I'm focusing specifically on how mindfulness can help to reduce anxiety (see my article: The Mind-Body Connection: Calming the Mind, Calming the Body).

Mindfulness Meditation Can Help to Reduce Anxiety

What is Mindfulness Meditation?

Mindfulness is the ability to be fully present in the here-and-now (see my article: Living Fully Present in the Moment).

Being present in a mindful way includes:

• Body Awareness:  Body awareness includes being aware of physical sensations in your body as well as your internal emotional state.  When you have developed this ability, you can regulate your emotions more effectively.

• Focused Attention:  When you develop the ability to focus and pay attention, you can focus on yourself or a task you are engaged in rather than getting distracted.  

• Self Perception:  Practicing mindfulness can also change how you see yourself.  There is some research indicating that mindfulness can increase your self esteem as well as self compassion.

• Physical Health: Mindfulness meditation can reduce blood pressure and the stress hormone known as cortisol, which makes it a potentially effective way to reduce your anxiety.

What Are Some Examples of Different Mindfulness Practices?

• Sitting, standing, walking
• Taking pauses throughout the day to be fully present in the moment
• Combining mindfulness with other practices, like yoga, breathing, and so on

For instance, if you are walking, you can focus on how you feel picking up each foot and putting it down.  Notice how each foot feels on the ground.

In a prior article, I gave suggestions about how to do mindfulness meditation if you're a beginner (see my article: Mindfulness Meditation).

Mindfulness in Practice

There is nothing mysterious about mindfulness.  Just about anyone can develop a mindfulness practice.

Once you have learned to do mindfulness meditation, you can do it on your own.

Mindfulness meditation can help reduce anxiety because focusing on the here and now has a calming effect (see my article: Being in the Present Moment).

How Else is Mindfulness Helpful?

Mindfulness can be used in many different ways.  

For instance, you can eat mindfully.  

You can also enhance your sex drive by being mindful.

Almost any activity can be done in a mindful way by focusing on it.

For instance, if you are washing dishes, you can focus on the task at hand.  Whenever your mind wanders, just bring it back to the task.  This can be calming--even if you don't like doing dishes.

Getting Help in Therapy

If mindfulness meditation isn't enough to reduce your anxiety because you have other underlying issues or unresolved trauma, you could benefit from working with a licensed mental health professional.

A skilled trauma therapist can help you to work through the underlying issues or unresolved trauma (see my article:  What is a Trauma Therapist?).

Rather than struggling on your own, seek help in therapy from a qualified professional.

About Me

I am a licensed New York City psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT and Somatic Experiencing therapist.

I work with individual adults and couples.

As a trauma therapist, I have helped many clients to work through unresolved trauma.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Getting Help in Therapy For Anxiety

It's not unusual to experience stress during the normal course of our lives. Normal stress occurs in every day life and can actually help us to be more effective and productive at times. However, compared to mild stress, an anxiety disorder such as generalized anxiety, panic disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, phobias or post-traumatic stress disorder can cause us to feel significant and debilitating distress. Without help, these anxiety disorders can interfere with our relationships and our every day activities (see my articles: Self Help Tips For Coping With Anxiety and What is the Difference Between Fear and Anxiety?).

Getting Help in Therapy for Anxiety

Common Forms of Anxiety

The following list includes some of the most common forms of anxiety:

• Generalized anxiety disorder: Generalized anxiety disorder occurs when a person worries excessively and has a feeling of foreboding and dread that bad things are going to happen. He or she might be worrying excessively about issues like money, health, or his or her relationship. These worries are often not related to a particular circumstance in the present, and they are recurring and persistent. These worries are also intense enough to interfere with a person's relationships and daily activities. He or she might have problems concentrating or sleeping. Generalized anxiety might affect appetite. These persistent worries might interfere with a person's ability to communicate or relate to others because he or she is so consumed with anxiety.

• Panic disorder: People with panic disorder often feel a sudden feeling of dread. Their heart might start racing. They might also start sweating profusely. The actual panic might only last a few minutes, but the person with panic disorder often worries about when the next panic will occur. Often, people with panic disorder start to avoid the situations, places or people that they associate with their panic. Without treatment, the people, places and situations that they avoid can increase until, in severe cases, they are too afraid to go outside (see my article: Tips For Coping With Panic Disorder).

• Phobias: Phobias are irrational fears of various things: fear of heights, fear of animals, fear of being in enclosed places, fear of flying, and so on. Similar to people with panic disorder, people who suffer with phobias often try to avoid the situations and things that they fear. This is not always possible, so when they are forced to deal with their phobia, their phobic reaction often turns into panic (see my article: What Are Phobias?).

• Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD): People who suffer with OCD engage in certain obsessive thoughts or compulsive activities. These obsessive thoughts and compulsive activities are unwanted, but the person with OCD feels compelled to do them when they feel anxious. For many people, these thoughts or activities become ritualized, so that they might have to do things in a certain order or a certain way or a certain number of times. OCD can also involve an excessive fear of germs or contamination, excessive checking (e.g., checking that the door is locked several times in a row or checking many times in a row that the gas is turned off, etc). OCD can also involve excessive hand washing.

• Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD): People who experience overwhelming trauma, possibly due to a natural disaster, a crime, a combat situation, an accident or other emotionally overwhelming events, can develop PTSD. We often associate PTSD with soldiers in war. Originally, PTSD during combat was called "shell shock." However, we now know that PTSD can develop outside of combat situations. People who develop PTSD might not experience any symptoms for months or even years after the event. Anything that reminds them of the traumatic event might cause them to feel like they're reliving the original traumatic event. They might feel panic or intense fear whenever they are confronted with reminders. For instance, if someone gets into a severe car accident, after he recovers from the accident, he might be too afraid to drive again. Or, even if he is able to get behind the wheel again, he might experience feelings of terror and dread if he has to drive to the same place where the accident occurred. Without help, PTSD can be a severe and debilitating disorder that can seriously affect a person's life as he or she relives the incident emotionally and tries to avoid anything that brings up these feelings again (see my article: Postttraumatic Growth).

Getting Help for Anxiety Disorders:
Anxiety disorders are not the same as normal stress and every day anxiety. Left untreated, anxiety disorders often have serious adverse effects on people's lives. It's not unusual for a fear that begins about a particular situation or event to generalize to other areas, causing tremendous disruption to a person's life.

For instance, if a person has an untreated fear of being in an elevator because it is an enclosed space, this fear often generalizes to fear of being on a train or plane or in a small room. Since we now know more about the mind-body connection, we also know that untreated anxiety disorders can often lead to medical problems. We also know that some people with anxiety disorders turn to drinking excessively, abusing drugs, gambling, sexual addiction, and other addictions as a maladaptive way of coping.

How I Treat Anxiety Disorders:
As a licensed psychotherapist in New York City, I use a variety of psychotherapeutic treatment modalities to treat anxiety disorders, including psychodynamic psychotherapy, EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), clinical hypnosis (also known as hypnotherapy), Somatic Experiencing, Ego States work (also known as Parts Work) and AEDP.

Each therapy is tailored to the needs of the individual client.

After the initial evaluation, I work collaboratively with the client to come up with the treatment plan that is best for him/her/them.

If you think you might be suffering with an anxiety, it's important to know that you're not alone and you can get help from a licensed mental health professional.

About Me

I am a licensed NYC psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR and Somatic Experiencing therapist who has helped many clients to overcome anxiety disorders (see my article: What is a Trauma Therapist?).

I work with individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Self Help Tips For Coping With Anxiety

Experiencing occasional anxiety is common.  At any given time at least 30% of people experience anxiety.  In this article, I'm focusing on self help tips you can use for anxiety relief (see my articles:  What is the Difference Between Fear and Anxiety? , Coping with Anticipatory Anxiety and Tips to Cope With Chronic Worrying).

Coping With Anxiety

Common Symptoms of Anxiety

Let's start by defining some of the symptoms of anxiety:

• Feeling nervous, restless or tense
• Having a sense of impending danger, panic or doom
• Having problems concentrating on anything other than your present worry
• Wanting to avoid anything that triggers your worry
• Having an increased heart rate
• Having problems sleeping (either falling or staying asleep)
• Trembling
• Sweating
• Breathing rapidly (hyperventilation)
• Having gastrointestinal (GI) problems

Common Forms of Anxiety

Here are some common forms of anxiety:

• Generalized Anxiety

• Panic Attacks (see my article: Tips on Coping With Panic Attacks)

• Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (see my article: Reacting to the Present Based on Your Past and Experiential Therapy, Like EMDR, Can Achieve Emotional Breakthroughs)

• Social Anxiety (see my article: Overcoming Social Anxiety)

• Adult Separation Anxiety (see my article: Overcoming Adult Separation Anxiety)

• Agoraphobia

• Phobias (see my article:What Are Phobias?)

Self Help Tips For Coping With Anxiety

If you experience occasional anxiety, which isn't causing significant problems in your life, here are some self help tips.

• Start Your Day With a Sense of Well Being: How you start your day can set the tone for the rest of your day and make a big difference in how you feel (see my article: Tips For Starting Your Morning With a Sense of Well Being and The Power of Creating Personal Rituals).

• Keep Physically Active: Whether you walk, dance, work out at the gym or engage in other healthy physical activity, keeping physical can be a powerful stress reliever.  Develop a physical routine for yourself that takes into account your ability to be active in a healthy way.  Consult with your doctor before making any significant changes to your physical activity.

• Use Stress Management and Relaxation Techniques: Meditation, visualization, yoga and other forms of stress management can help reduce anxiety (see my articles: Stress Management: Finding Moments of Peace and Relaxation,  Stress Management and Self Care, Mindfulness Meditation, Safe Place Meditation and Creating Quiet Times For Yourself).

• Remember to Breathe: When you're anxious, you might breathe in a shallow way, which can increase anxiety.  So you could benefit from being aware of your breathing and using relaxing breathing techniques (see my article: Square Breathing).

• Make Sleep a Priority: Most people need 7-8 hours of sleep per night (see my articles: Tips For Better Sleep and Conquering Your Nightmares).

• Spend Time in Nature: Spending time in green places can help relieve stress and anxiety (see my article: Walking in Nature Can Improve Your Mood).

• Eat a Balanced Diet: A balanced diet incorporates fruits, vegetables, whole grains and proteins.  Always consult with your doctor before changing your diet.

• Reduce or Avoid Alcohol: The stimulative effect of alcohol can increase anxiety, so be aware of how much you're drinking (see my articles: Overcoming the Temptation to Use "Liquid Courage" to Cope With Social Situations).

• Avoid Recreational Drugs: Certain recreational drugs can increase anxiety, including cannabis.  

• Cut Back or Eliminate Caffeinated Beverages: Caffeine can make anxiety worse, so be aware of your caffeine intake and take steps to either reduce or eliminate caffeinated beverages.

• Quit Smoking: Nicotine can make anxiety worse so take steps to stop smoking (see my article: Becoming a Successful Nonsmoker)

• Keep a Journal: Keeping a personal journal can help you to become aware of what's causing you anxiety and what helps to reduce your anxiety (see my article: Journal Writing Can Reduce Stress and Anxiety).

• Identify Your Triggers: Along with keeping a journal, being able to identify your triggers can help you to deal with your anxiety (see my article: Coping With Triggers).

• Get Emotional Support: Instead of isolating, stay social and get emotional support from trusted friends, family and a significant other (see my article: Overcoming Your Discomfort With Asking For Emotional Support).

When Self Help Isn't Enough

The suggestions above can help to reduce anxiety, but when you're experiencing persistent anxiety self help might not be enough.  

In my next article, I'll discuss how psychotherapy can help you to overcome anxiety (see my article: Getting Help in Therapy For Anxiety).

Getting Help in Therapy

Anxiety can reduce the quality of your life and overall sense of well-being.

If anxiety is a persistent problem, seek help from a licensed mental health professional.

Getting help in psychotherapy for your anxiety can improve the quality of life for you and for your loved ones who might be affected by your anxiety, so don't hesitate to seek help (see my article: Your Anxiety or Depression Could Be Having a Negative Impact on Your Loved Ones).

About Me

I am a licensed New York City psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT and Somatic Experiencing therapist.

I work with individual adults and couples.

I have helped many clients to overcome persistent anxiety.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

How Experiential Therapy Can Help You to Overcome Emotional Hijacking

In my last two articles, What is Emotional Hijacking? and Self Help Tips to Cope with Emotional Hijacking, I defined this phenomenon and provided self help tools.  

In this article I'm focusing on how experiential therapy, which is a bottom up therapeutic approach, can help you to overcome emotional hijacking (see my article:  What's the Difference Between Top Down and Bottom Up Approaches to Therapy?)

How Experiential Therapy Can Help You to Overcome Emotional Hijacking

An emotional hijack occurs when the part of the brain called the amygdala, which is an emotional processor, bypasses (or hijacks) your normal reasoning process.  

Although normally your decision making occurs in other parts of the brain, the amygdala takes over during certain circumstances.

There are times when using self help tools aren't enough, especially when unresolved trauma gets activated over and over again.  

At that point, it's important to get help from a therapist who uses experiential therapy to help clients overcome trauma (see my article: Why Experiential Therapy is More Effective For Trauma Than Regular Talk Therapy).

Clinical Vignette

The following clinical vignette illustrates how an experiential approach in therapy helps a client who has unresolved trauma.  As always, this is a composite of many different cases without identifying information.

Glen

At the encouragement of his wife, Glen, 38, sought help in therapy.  

During the prior six months, he began feeling irritable and anxious.  He told his therapist that he started a new job, and his director, John, was highly critical of Glen and all of Glen's colleagues.  

John justified his criticism by saying he believed it would encourage the sales team to work harder (see my article: Coping With a Difficult Boss).

Glen's colleagues, who worked for John for several years, shrugged off John's criticism because they said, even though he was critical, he usually rewarded them with bonuses and merit raises at the end of the year, which was all they cared about. As a result, most of them didn't take John's comments that seriously.

But Glen couldn't shrug it off the way his colleagues did.  He felt deeply wounded by John's remarks--even though, privately, John assured Glen that he thought he was doing a good job.

Whenever John criticized Glen in a staff meeting, Glen felt like he froze emotionally--he couldn't even think straight, which meant he couldn't respond to John's statements or questions.  He felt like something so overpowering came over him emotionally that he felt like he was no longer in the room.

Afterwards, when he had a chance to calm himself, he couldn't understand why he had such severe reactions to John's comments while his colleagues took John's negative comments to them in stride.

Even on his days off, Glen had a hard time letting go of John's criticism, and this affected his relationship with his wife, Barbara.  He no longer wanted to get together with their friends or do the things they usually both enjoyed.  

After watching Glen's mood get worse over time, Barbara told him that he needed to get help. 

When Glen's therapist asked him about his family background, he described a mother who was emotionally distant and a father who was critical and hard to please.  

Until he said this, Glen hadn't made the connection between his current boss and his critical father (see my article: Reacting to the Present Based on Your Traumatic Past).

His therapist explained the concept of emotional hijacking to Glen.  When they did an Affect Bridge to trace the origin of the emotional hijacking, Glen traced it back to his early childhood when his father would often humiliate him in front of his friends--similar to how John humiliated him in staff meetings.  

Based on Glen's response to the Affect Bridge, his therapist recommended that they address his unresolved trauma using EMDR Therapy as well as Ego States therapy.

Using these experiential therapies, over time, they gradually worked on Glen's current triggers, his past triggers and his apprehension about the future.  

Once Glen worked through the past and present triggers and his fears about the future, he no longer felt emotionally hijacked at work.  He also no longer ruminated about his director's critical comments when he was at home.  In addition, his mood improved substantially, and he once again enjoyed his social activities and interests with his wife and friends.

He also decided he deserved to work in a healthier work environment, so he found another job which had a positive work environment with a boss who was much more encouraging.

Conclusion

Unresolved trauma can get triggered in new situations in your personal life as well as in your work environment.  

These triggers can cause you to feel like you're being emotionally hijacked to the point where your logical brain shuts down temporarily.

An experiential approach in therapy is more effective than regular talk therapy in resolving trauma.  

Getting Help in Therapy

If you find that your efforts to cope with emotional hijacking aren't working, you could benefit from working with a trauma therapist who uses experiential therapy (What is a Trauma Therapist?).

Rather than struggling on your own, seek help so you can live a more fulfilling life.

About Me

I am a licensed New York City psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT and Somatic Experiencing therapist.

I work with individual adults and couples.

I have helped many individuals and couples to resolve trauma.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

 

Self Help Tips on How to Cope With Emotional Hijacking

In my prior article, What is Emotional Hijacking?, I defined the term as it relates to unresolved trauma, and I gave some examples.  In this article, I'm providing some self help tips on how to cope with emotional hijacking (see my article: Reacting to the Present Based on Your Past).

Tips on How to Cope With Emotional Hijacking

As I mentioned in my prior article, an emotional hijack occurs when the part of the brain called the amygdala, which is an emotional processor, bypasses (or hijacks) your normal reasoning process.  

Although normally your decision making occurs in other parts of the brain, the amygdala takes over during certain circumstances (see my article: Trauma, Therapy and the Triune Brain).

When the amygdala reacts without the help of the logical part of your brain helping you to pause and process the situation first, you overreact without thinking.  Often this leads to situations which you regret afterwards when you've had time to process what happened to you.

Tips on How to Cope With Emotional Hijacking

• Pause: If you can recognize the cues that you're feeling emotionally overwhelmed, pause for a moment to calm down and process what just happened.

• Count to 10: Whether you count to 10 or you need to count to 100, you'll distract yourself enough to temporarily move away from whatever emotions are overwhelming you so you can go back afterwards to think about it rationally.

• Breathe: Breath in a way where the exhalations are twice as long as the inhalations. So, if you breathe in to the count of 5, breathe out to the count of 10.  The exhalations activate your parasympathetic system to help to calm you.  You can also use Square Breathing.

• Name the Emotion: When you've had some time to pause and think about what's happening to you, name the emotion you're experiencing. This can help you to make sense of what's happening to you.

• Move: When you get up and move, the logical part of your brain will eventually come back online so you can think more clearly.  This can mean you go for a walk outside or just walk into another room.

• Write in Your Journal: Writing and reflecting on what caused you to react emotionally can help you to engage the logical part of your brain so you can reflect on what just happened to you (see my article: The Benefits of Journal Writing).

• Get Emotional Support: When you share your feelings with a partner or trusted family member or friend, you can relieve yourself of some of the emotional burden you're carrying and you can get another perspective about what's bothering you (see my article: Overcoming Your Discomfort With Asking For Emotional Support).

In my next article, I'll discuss how processing unresolved trauma in therapy can help: See my article: How Experiential. Therapy Can Help You to Overcome Emotional Hijacking.

Getting Help in Therapy

If these self help tips don't work for you, you could benefit from working with a trauma therapist who can help you to overcome the unresolved trauma that causes you to get emotionally hijacked (see my article: What is a Trauma Therapist?).

Rather than struggling on your own, seek help from a licensed mental health professional so you can lead a more fulfilling life.

About Me

I am a licensed New York City psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT and Somatic Experiencing therapist.

I work with individual adults and couples.

As a trauma therapist, I have helped many clients to overcome unresolved trauma.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 or email me.