What Are the Psychological Benefits of Play For Adults?

When was the last time you played as an adult just for the fun of it—without a goal, a metric, or an agenda?

For most adults, play sits at the very bottom of the priority list...

Adult play is a neurological and psychological necessity that goes far beyond simple entertainment; it is an active state of open-ended engagement that promotes emotional regulation and neuroplasticity. Despite intense professional and societal pressures, contemporary neurobiological research confirms that maintaining an active sense of playfulness is vital for sustainable mental health.

Adult play—like a high-stakes game of tumbling blocks—is a neurological necessity that lowers stress, boosts cognitive flexibility, and creates moments of shared joy.

Studies from organizations like the National Institute for Play indicate that play is a core biological drive. It is essential for optimal cognitive function, stress resilience, and deep psychological well-being.

The key psychological benefits of adult play include:

• Stress Reduction and Cortisol Regulation: Engaging in playful activities triggers the immediate release of endorphins and dopamine while actively down-regulating cortisol. Highly playful adults experience lower levels of perceived stress and utilize healthier, adaptive coping mechanisms—such as positive reframing—rather than avoidant or numbing behaviors.
• Preventing Workplace Burnout: Unstructured play serves as a vital psychological buffer against chronic stress. Research shows that play directly enhances emotional intelligence and strengthens personal resilience, allowing adults to bounce back faster from professional exhaustion and systemic adversity.
• Cognitive Flexibility and Flow States: Play acts as a cognitive refresh by removing the pressure of goal-driven thinking. Engaging in mentally stimulating, unstructured play (like complex puzzles, strategic board games, or creative arts) stimulates lateral problem-solving. This cognitive unburdening makes it significantly easier to enter deeply satisfying flow states (see my article: What is a Flow State?).

• Combating Loneliness and Isolation: Group play, cooperative games, and shared laughter foster empathy, trust, and interpersonal intimacy. Cultivating structured social play as an adult significantly reduces modern feelings of loneliness and deepens social connectedness.

How Do Adults Play?

Somatic and behavioral researchers generally categorize adult play into three distinct archetypes:

• Active Form: Engaging in recreational sports, dance, or physical movement that emphasizes agility and teamwork.
• Digital & Strategic Play: Participating in video games, cooperative tabletop games, or complex puzzles that stimulate cognitive strategy.
• Unstructured Hobbies: Immersing yourself in painting, playing music, gardening, or trying a new craft purely for the joy of creation without criticizing the final product.

How Can You Reclaim Your Sense of Play?

If you are ready to invite more playfulness back into your daily routine, start with these actionable steps:

1. Give Yourself Explicit Permission: The single largest barrier to adult play is internal. Remind yourself that play is not frivolous. By prioritizing joy, you can quiet the inner critic that judges you for being "unproductive."
2. Lower the Stakes and Start Small: You do not have to immediately join a competitive sports league. Start low-commitment to reduce performance anxiety. Put on your favorite music and dance in your living room, or spend ten minutes coloring.
3. Follow Your Curiosity: Explore what genuinely lights you up. Do you prefer games with clear winners and losers, or do you like making things with your hands? Are you drawn to laughter and silliness, or do you prefer play that involves movement and somatic awareness?
4. Notice Play in Everyday Mindsets: Playfulness is ultimately a state of mind. You can weave it into your day through common, everyday examples like doodling during a break, improvisational cooking without a recipe, daydreaming, or exploring nature without a fixed destination.

Conclusion

When you deliberately weave play into your life, you realize that your existence isn't meant to be entirely about maximizing productivity or enduring daily challenges. It is also about experiencing radical joy, safety, and vitality in your own skin.

About Josephine Ferraro, LCSW

I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, and certified sex therapist with advanced clinical training in EMDR, AEDP, IFS, EFT for couples, and Somatic Experiencing. 

Over the years, I have helped many individual adults and couples heal trauma, navigate workplace burnout, and restore mind-body distress.

Ready to reclaim your vitality?
I offer a complimentary 15-minute phone call to discuss your needs.

I see clients in person at my office in Greenwich Village, New York (10011) and online via secure telehealth.

• Website: Visit Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist to learn more.
• Phone: Reach out directly at (917) 742-2624 during regular business hours.
• Email: josephineferraro@iCloud.com

Explore More Articles on Mind-Body Wellness:

• The Joy of Being More Playful
• The Benefits of Laughter For Your Health and Mental Health
• Being Open to New Experiences
• 11 Ways to Be a More Creative Person

10 Signs Someone is Flirting With You

Picking up on signs someone is flirting with you can be challenging, especially if they are doing it in a very subtle way and you don't know them well.

Picking Up on Signs Someone is Flirting With You

Flirting often involves both physical/nonverbal and verbal cues, but sometimes it's hard to distinguish flirting from friendliness. 

So, it's helpful to know some of the subtle and not-so-subtle signs of flirting.

10 Signs Someone is Flirting With You

Everyone has their own way of flirting and, as previously mentioned, some of these signs can be signs of friendliness and not flirting. 

So, if someone is flirting with you, you want to look for a combination of these signs and not just rely on one:

• They Make Prolonged Eye Contact: Prolonged eye contact is a relative term. Regular eye contact is about 3 seconds.  When someone is interested in you, prolonged eye contact is about 4 seconds or longer. This type of eye contact doesn't involve staring or leering. It's a soft gaze signaling romantic or sexual interest.  There are at least three different parts to this:

• They Try to Catch Your Eye: This is when someone looks at you until you sense it and look back at them. This kind of soft gaze is usually curious and inviting (as opposed to staring or creepiness).

• They Let You Catch Them Looking at You: If someone who is interested in you wants you to know they're interested, they might allow you to catch them looking at you. Once they get your attention, they might look down or away before looking back up at you. Someone who is a little bolder or who wants to be sexually suggestive might look at your other features like lips, chest or groin as a way to signal they're interested in a sexual encounter if you're open to that.

Picking Up on Signs Someone is Flirting With You

• They Continue to Look in Your Eyes During a Conversation: If they managed to engage you in conversation, they will often continue to look into your eyes and look away briefly before looking back.

• They Have Open Body Language: They are relaxed and their body is open (an example of closed body language would be someone who has their arms folded in front of them). They face you and usually their toes are pointing towards you. Since people who are friendly and engaging also have open body language, this isn't always a sign of flirting--it could just be friendliness. So, you need to look for other signs in addition to this one.

• They Move Closer to You: If they want to flirt with you, they might move their body closer to yours (not in a creepy way). There are also situations, like in a crowded subway or in a theater with seats that are close together, where there's no choice but to be close, so this doesn't mean they're flirting with you. But if there's plenty of room and they sit or stand close to you, this could be an indication of romantic or sexual interest.

Picking Up on Signs Someone is Flirting With You

• They Play With Their Clothing: Playing with a sleeve, button or other clothing can be an unconscious nonverbal sign that someone is attracted to you. Some women also play with their hair. This can also mean they're feeling awkward or uncomfortable so, once again, consider this in combination with other signs.

• They Touch You Lightly During the Conversation: There are some people who touch others while talking and they're only being friendly. But if they're also giving you other signs of flirting, their light touch on your arm or shoulder or a hand or a leg graze, is often a sign that they're interested in you.

• They Raise Their Eyebrows When They See You: When someone who is interested in you sees you, their slightly raised brows is often a sign (together with other potential signs) that they're interested in you. Raised brows that signify attraction is often an unconscious gesture.

• They Have a Flirtatious Facial Expression: Aside from raised eyebrows, someone who is interested in you might look at you warmly with a smile whenever you see them. They might tilt their heads to the side or downward. 

Picking Up Signs Someone is Flirting With You

• They Respond to All or Most of Your Social Media Posts: There are so many posts on social media, so if someone is taking the time to respond to all or most of your posts, this could be a digital sign they're interested in you.  

• They Give You Teasing or Playful Attention: Teasing is a playful way to flirt by trying to provoke a response from someone.  This doesn't involve meanness or bullying. Playful teasing often sparks a flirtatious back and forth between two people. When two people pick up on the subtle cues of playful teasing, if they're both interested, this creates sexual tension between them.  This can be tricky if one or both people take the teasing literally and don't understand that it's part of a flirtatious dance.

Picking Up on Signs Someone is Flirting With You

• They Treat You Differently Than They Do Others: If someone wants you to know they're interested, they usually try to make you feel special in a way they're not doing to other people around them. 

More Articles About Flirting

Here are some of my prior articles about flirting that you might enjoy:

What is Your Flirting Style?

The Physical Flirting Style

The Playful Flirting Style

The Sincere Flirting Style

The Traditional Flirting Style

The Polite Flirting Style

About Me

I am a licensed New York City psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, Sex Therapist and Trauma Therapist who uses EMDR, AEDP, EFT and Somatic Experiencing.

I work with individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist where you will find many other articles about relationships, healing trauma, coping with grief as well as articles about the various therapy modalities that I use.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Why is a Good Sense of Humor So Attractive?

A good sense of humor is sexually appealing to most people.  It's one of the qualities that's often mentioned in dating profiles as an attractive quality in a potential partner.

A Good Sense of Humor Can Be Very Attractive

This article will explore what makes a good sense of humor, why it's so sexually appealing, and how you can develop a healthy sense of humor to enhance your social skills.

What is a Good Sense of Humor?

First, let's distinguish well-intentioned humor from mean-spirited humor.  

Unfortunately, a lot of humor today is mean spirited.  It's based on getting a laugh at someone else's expense, which is a form of bullying.  

Well-intentioned humor, on the other hand, makes people feel good.  It makes people laugh without hurting their feelings.  

Well-Intentioned Humor Doesn't Hurt Others' Feelings

A good sense of humor is a valued social trait.  Conversely, an undeveloped sense of humor often means undeveloped social skills, and it can put someone at a social disadvantage.

In some cases, having a good sense of humor means entertaining people and making them laugh.  But more often than not it means having the ability to see humor in every day life.  

People with a good sense of humor tend to:

• Be Creative
• Think Outside the Box
• Bring a Different Perspective to Situations
• Have a Lighthearted Attitude
• Be Resilient
• Be Adaptable
• Be Conscientious (they don't try to get a laugh from mean-spirited jokes)
• Cope With Stress Better
• Laugh More and Others Laugh With Them
• Benefit in Terms of Their Health and Mental Health (see my article: The Benefits of Laughter For Health and Mental Health)

What is the Connection Between a Good Sense of Humor and Sexiness?

Flirting, pleasant teasing, playfulness, creativity, self confidence and intelligence are all qualities that most people find sexually appealing:

• Humor and Flirting: Flirting is driven by emotions and instinct rather than logic. Flirting and pleasant teasing often signal sexual interest.  Flirting can be used to gauge someone's sexual interest in you. It can also ease tension between people. In addition, flirting stimulates the nervous system with increased blood flow and the release of adrenaline.  

Flirting and Healthy Teasing

• Humor and Playfulness: Humor and playfulness can create a strong bond between two people.  Being able to laugh together also helps people to feel more comfortable with each other.  Playfulness is also fun and sexy when you're attracted to someone and you sense they're attracted to you.

• Self Humor and Confidence: Being able to laugh at yourself shows self confidence, which is sexually appealing to most people.  

Humor and Self Confidence

• Humor and Intelligence: Intelligence is an important quality for most people when they are seeking a romantic partner.  For many people, especially people who identify themselves as sapiosexual (people who find intelligence to be sexually arousing), intelligence is essential. But for most people intelligence is not as important as a good sense of humor.  According to Psychology Today, people with a good sense of humor are usually intelligent, but intelligent people don't necessarily have a good sense of humor.  

Developing a Good Sense of Humor

If you want to develop a better sense of humor:

• Learn to listen and observe people who have a good sense of humor and who know how to banter.

• Be aware that to be humorous in a well-intentioned way can signal that you're friendly.  It can also be flirty and signal that you're attracted to someone.

• Learn how to respond to other people's humor, especially if you're someone who tends to be easily offended and jump to conclusions by taking things personally.  This doesn't mean that if someone makes a joke that's offensive you need to pretend that it's funny. But before you react, pause and ask yourself if it's likely this person wanted to offend you.  After you take a pause, you can decide how to respond.  If you still find the other person's humor offensive, let them know you don't appreciate it in a tactful way.

• Learn to be funny without being offensive.  Jokes, stories or statements that are racist, homophobic, sexist, ageist, or that are at other people's expense, aren't funny, so avoid them.  Like any other social skill, you'll need to observe others and practice taking a risk by putting yourself out there.

Conclusion

Sexual attraction is influenced by many individual factors, including psychological, cultural, genetic, conscious and unconscious factors.

An undeveloped sense of humor often signals undeveloped social skills. 

A good sense of humor can enhance sexual attractiveness.  People often want to be around someone with a good sense of humor because their humor is fun and it makes them good about themselves.  

Getting Help in Therapy

If you're struggling with unresolved emotional problems, you might be struggling socially.  This makes it difficult to meet and socialize with others.

Seek help from a qualified mental health professional so you can live a more fulfilling life.

About Me

I am a licensed New York City psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT, Somatic Experiencing and Sex Therapist.

I am a sex positive therapist who works with individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

How to Maintain a Happy Relationship

Developing and maintaining a happy relationship is more challenging these days than ever.  Whereas in former times people had the emotional support of an extended family, people in relationships now tend to rely much more on each other, which often places a strain on the relationship (see my articles: Nurturing Your Relationship and Creating a Safe Haven For Each Other.

Developing and Maintaining a Happy Relationship

While no relationship is without occasional problems, more relationships these days are failing because of the greater emotional burden placed on the relationship.  Also, people often enter into a relationship with unrealistic expectations of their partners and unaware of the work it takes to develop and maintain a happy relationship.

How to Develop and Maintain a Happy Relationship

• Make Your Relationship a Priority:  This might sound obvious and yet, without even realizing it, so many people in relationships allow distractions to get in the way of making the relationship a priority (see my articles: Relationships: The Importance of Unplugging From Your Phone and Computer to Spend Quality Time Together.

Developing a Happy Relationship: Spend Quality Time Together Without Distractions

• Be Loving and Kind to Each Other:  Many couples are loving and kind to each other at the beginning of the relationship but, as time goes on, they forget to do the things that endeared them to each other (see my articles:  Practicing Tolerance and Compassion in Your Relationship).

• Talk About What You Need Emotionally From Your Romantic Partner:  Talking about emotional needs is often difficult for people who are afraid to make themselves emotionally vulnerable, especially if one or both partners grew up in a family where people didn't talk about their feelings. Many couples don't know how to communicate their needs and come across as blaming or complaining, which makes the other partner shut down.  Other people seem to feel that their partner "should know" what they want without their communicating their needs (see my article:  Relationships: Are You Too Afraid to Talk to Your Spouse About What's Bothering and Are You Feeling Lonely in Your Relationship?).

• Respect One Another:  Respecting one another is often related to being able to talk about emotional needs.  For example, if, instead of focusing on what she needs emotionally from her husband, a woman blames her husband for not being more attentive, her husband might shut down and not hear her underlying message, which is: "I need you to show that you care about me."  That message gets lost because it's not getting communicated directly.  The husband will feel criticized and might stonewall.  This often leads to the wife becoming more strident, which leads to even further withdrawal by the husband.  Aside from the obvious forms of disrespect, like name calling, other less obvious forms of disrespect, like eye rolling, show contempt for the other partner and often lead to the demise of the relationship (see my articles:  Emotional Intimacy: The One Who Loves You the Most is Often the One Who Hurts You the Most, and Relationships: When Expressing Your Feelings Turns Into Verbal Abuse).

• Develop Realistic Expectations of Your Relationship:  You're partner can't be everything to you.  You need to have friends and other forms of emotional support in order not to put too heavy a burden on the relationship (see my article: Relationships: Your Spouse Can't Meet All Your Expectations).

• Let Go of the Small Stuff:  When you're in a relationship, you need to know what's most important to you.  Do you really want to argue about the socks that never made it from the floor to the hamper?  If you do, you'll be arguing a lot and this can erode a relationship quickly (see my article: Are You Overreacting to Small Disappointments? and Letting Go of Resentment).

• Find Ways to Grow Together:  Finding ways to grow together is important, especially in a long term relationship.  People change over time, and if one person is developing and growing and the other person isn't, the couple could grow apart.  When you share new interests, you're developing as individuals and as a couple (see my articles: Relationships: Are You in a Relationship Rut? and How to Integrate Change Into Your Relationship).

Developing and Maintaining a Happy Relationship:  Be Playful With One Another

• Be Playful With One Another:  Couples, who are playful and fun with each other at the beginning of the relationship, often forget to do the things that brought them together in the first place.  Having a sense of humor and finding other ways to be playful keeps the relationship fresh and alive (see my articles: Do You Remember What It's Like to Have Fun in Your Relationship? Try a Little Playfulness and Improving Sexual Intimacy in a Long Term Relationship).

Getting Help For Your Relationship in Couples Counseling
There are many couples who have lost their way in their relationship and they're unable to find their way back to the loving relationship that they once had.

A skilled psychotherapist, who works with couples, can help a couple to understand what went wrong and provide them with tools to get back on track (see my article: What is Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy?).

If you've tried on your own to work out your relationship, but you keep coming up short, you could benefit from seeing a couples therapist who can help you to have the loving relationship that you once had.

About Me
I am a licensed New York City psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT, Somatic Experiencing and Sex Therapist 

I am a sex positive therapist who works with individuals and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website:  Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.