The Power of Humor and Laughter in Relationships

Many people identify a sense of humor as an important trait they seek in partners when they're dating.  

The Power of Humor and Laughter in Relationships

People often include a sense of humor as one of their attributes as well as an attribute they're seeking in a potential partner in their dating profile (see my article: Why is a Good Sense of Humor So Attractive in a Partner?).

The Power of Humor and Laughter in Relationships

Humor and laughter play a powerful role in long term relationships (see my article: The Benefits of Laughter For Your Health and Mental Health) including:

• Strengthening the Bond in a Relationship: Shared humor and laughter can increase closeness and connectedness to strengthen the bond in a relationship.

• Improving Communication: When two people can laugh together, they often overcome barriers to communication. Humor can help a couple to talk about difficult topics when humor is used in an appropriate way.

The Power of Humor and Laughter in Relationships

• Reducing Stress: Laughter increases endorphins which improves mood and reduces stress.

• Building Resilience: Laughter can have a positive impact on a person's overall sense of well-being. It can also help a couple to build resilience in their relationship.

How to Increase Laughter in Your Relationship

Stress and anxiety can make it difficult to find humor in everyday situations, especially if a couple is trying to balance family and work obligations (see my article: Balancing Your Personal Life and Your Career).

Even when you're going through stressful times, you can take steps to create an opening for humor:

• Gentle Teasing: Well-time light hearted teasing can help you and your partner to relax, laugh and enjoy each other's company.

• Playfulness and Flirting: When you flirt with your partner in playful ways, you can enjoy each other's company and even improve your sex life (see my articles: What is Rec-Relational Sex? and Try a Little Playfulness in Your Relationship).

The Power of Humor and Laughter in Relationships

• Silliness: You and your partner can share silly moments, including telling jokes or funny stories, to add humor to your relationship.

• Remember Funny Moments Together: When you and your partner recall fun times together, you're sharing moments in your life that felt good for both of you. This can strengthen the bonds between you.

• Play Fun Games Together: Taking the time together to play fun games together can help you both to laugh, relax and enjoy each other's company.

Getting Help in Therapy

A lack of humor and playfulness is often a sign of relational problems for couples.

If you and your partner have problems you have been unable to resolve on your own, seek help from a licensed mental health professional who works with couples.

        See my article: What is Emotionally Focused Therapy For Couples (EFT)

A skilled couples therapist can help you to overcome problems so you can have a more fulfilling relationship.

About Me

I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT, Somatic Experiencing and Sex Therapist.

I work with individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Why is a Good Sense of Humor So Attractive?

A good sense of humor is sexually appealing to most people.  It's one of the qualities that's often mentioned in dating profiles as an attractive quality in a potential partner.

A Good Sense of Humor Can Be Very Attractive

This article will explore what makes a good sense of humor, why it's so sexually appealing, and how you can develop a healthy sense of humor to enhance your social skills.

What is a Good Sense of Humor?

First, let's distinguish well-intentioned humor from mean-spirited humor.  

Unfortunately, a lot of humor today is mean spirited.  It's based on getting a laugh at someone else's expense, which is a form of bullying.  

Well-intentioned humor, on the other hand, makes people feel good.  It makes people laugh without hurting their feelings.  

Well-Intentioned Humor Doesn't Hurt Others' Feelings

A good sense of humor is a valued social trait.  Conversely, an undeveloped sense of humor often means undeveloped social skills, and it can put someone at a social disadvantage.

In some cases, having a good sense of humor means entertaining people and making them laugh.  But more often than not it means having the ability to see humor in every day life.  

People with a good sense of humor tend to:

• Be Creative
• Think Outside the Box
• Bring a Different Perspective to Situations
• Have a Lighthearted Attitude
• Be Resilient
• Be Adaptable
• Be Conscientious (they don't try to get a laugh from mean-spirited jokes)
• Cope With Stress Better
• Laugh More and Others Laugh With Them
• Benefit in Terms of Their Health and Mental Health (see my article: The Benefits of Laughter For Health and Mental Health)

What is the Connection Between a Good Sense of Humor and Sexiness?

Flirting, pleasant teasing, playfulness, creativity, self confidence and intelligence are all qualities that most people find sexually appealing:

• Humor and Flirting: Flirting is driven by emotions and instinct rather than logic. Flirting and pleasant teasing often signal sexual interest.  Flirting can be used to gauge someone's sexual interest in you. It can also ease tension between people. In addition, flirting stimulates the nervous system with increased blood flow and the release of adrenaline.  

Flirting and Healthy Teasing

• Humor and Playfulness: Humor and playfulness can create a strong bond between two people.  Being able to laugh together also helps people to feel more comfortable with each other.  Playfulness is also fun and sexy when you're attracted to someone and you sense they're attracted to you.

• Self Humor and Confidence: Being able to laugh at yourself shows self confidence, which is sexually appealing to most people.  

Humor and Self Confidence

• Humor and Intelligence: Intelligence is an important quality for most people when they are seeking a romantic partner.  For many people, especially people who identify themselves as sapiosexual (people who find intelligence to be sexually arousing), intelligence is essential. But for most people intelligence is not as important as a good sense of humor.  According to Psychology Today, people with a good sense of humor are usually intelligent, but intelligent people don't necessarily have a good sense of humor.  

Developing a Good Sense of Humor

If you want to develop a better sense of humor:

• Learn to listen and observe people who have a good sense of humor and who know how to banter.

• Be aware that to be humorous in a well-intentioned way can signal that you're friendly.  It can also be flirty and signal that you're attracted to someone.

• Learn how to respond to other people's humor, especially if you're someone who tends to be easily offended and jump to conclusions by taking things personally.  This doesn't mean that if someone makes a joke that's offensive you need to pretend that it's funny. But before you react, pause and ask yourself if it's likely this person wanted to offend you.  After you take a pause, you can decide how to respond.  If you still find the other person's humor offensive, let them know you don't appreciate it in a tactful way.

• Learn to be funny without being offensive.  Jokes, stories or statements that are racist, homophobic, sexist, ageist, or that are at other people's expense, aren't funny, so avoid them.  Like any other social skill, you'll need to observe others and practice taking a risk by putting yourself out there.

Conclusion

Sexual attraction is influenced by many individual factors, including psychological, cultural, genetic, conscious and unconscious factors.

An undeveloped sense of humor often signals undeveloped social skills. 

A good sense of humor can enhance sexual attractiveness.  People often want to be around someone with a good sense of humor because their humor is fun and it makes them good about themselves.  

Getting Help in Therapy

If you're struggling with unresolved emotional problems, you might be struggling socially.  This makes it difficult to meet and socialize with others.

Seek help from a qualified mental health professional so you can live a more fulfilling life.

About Me

I am a licensed New York City psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT, Somatic Experiencing and Sex Therapist.

I am a sex positive therapist who works with individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.