11 Ways to Become a More Creative Person

In my article, The Joy of Becoming More Playful As An Adult, I discussed how playing can help you to be a more creative person.  In this article, I'm focusing on creativity and things you can do to inspire your creativity.

Become a More Creative Person

Things You Can Do to Inspire Your Creativity

• Tap Into Your Unconscious Mind Using Stream of Consciousness Writing: In her book, The Artist's Way, Julia Cameron writes about doing stream of consciousness writing when you wake up in the morning.  She calls it the Morning Pages.  This process also goes by other names, including free associative writing.  With any type of free associative writing you're allowing yourself to just write down whatever comes to mind. You're not editing it or assessing it. You're just allowing your thoughts to flow. This will eventually tap into your unconscious mind so you can access your creativity. 

• Welcome Boredom: People usually try to avoid being bored by filling up their time with all kinds of activity, including spending time scrolling through social media.  But instead of trying to avoid boredom, embrace it.  People often get their best ideas when they're bored (see my article: How Boredom Can Lead to Greater Creativity).

• Use Your Dreams: Dreams can be a great source of creativity. You can give yourself a  suggestion just before going to sleep that you want creative ideas for a project you're working on. This is called dream incubation (see my articles: Dream Incubation - Planting Seeds, Embodied Imagination and Dreamwork and Working With Dreams to Develop Your Creative Imagination).

Use Your Dream to Develop Your Creativity

• Develop Your Intuition: There are lots of ways to develop your intuition. Many people use vivid picture cards, like Tarot cards that appeal to them or cards called Inner Active cards to stimulate their intuition which also enhances creativity (see my article: Tapping into Your Creative and Intuitive Power).

• Spend Time in Nature: Even just a few minutes of walking in nature can help you to relax and open up to new ideas.

• Get Physical: Exercising helps to increase blood flow and oxygen to the brain. It also helps to get you out of a linear mode of thinking so you can tap into your creativity.

• Keep a List of Ideas: Whenever you hear an interesting or intriguing idea, write it down.  When you get into the habit of keeping a list of ideas, you give your mind the signal that you're open to new ideas so they can begin to flow.

• Watch an Inspiring TED Talk: TED talk speakers are usually inspiring and can motivate you to open yourself to new ideas.

Become a More Creative Person: Watch an Inspiring TED Talk

• Do Something New: Try something new--whether it's going to a new place, learning about a new culture, learning a new language, taking an acting class, telling your five minute story at a storytelling show, like The Moth, or whatever seems fun and inspiring to you (see my article: The Power of Storytelling and Being Open to New Experiences).

• Look at Your World With New Eyes: Instead of seeing your surroundings in the way you always see them, look at your world with new eyes. This could mean you walk around your neighborhood and look for things you never noticed before--a decoration on a building, a flower in your neighbor's garden you've never noticed before, an unusual looking tree, a bird's nest and so on (see my article: Seeing Small Wonders All Around Us If We Just Take the Time to Notice).

• Practice Mindfulness Meditation: Research studies have revealed many benefits to doing mindfulness meditation, including developing a more flexible way of thinking. When you can think more flexibly, you can be more creative (see my article: The Mind-Body Connection: Mindfulness Meditation).

Conclusion

There are many ways to tap into your creativity. It's a matter of finding what works for you.  

Sometimes people feel creatively blocked and they need to find ways to reclaim their creativity).  

Getting Help in Therapy

If you're unable to get out of a creative rut on your own, you can seek help in therapy from a therapist who does Experiential Therapy, which uses the mind-body connection to help clients to get creatively unblocked.

Getting Help in Therapy

Working with a skilled experiential therapist can help you overcome blocks that are hindering your progress (see my article: Overcoming Creative Blocks).

About Me

I am a licensed New York City psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT, Somatic Experiencing and Sex Therapist.

I am a sex positive therapist who works with individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

The Joy of Becoming More Playful As An Adult

Considering how stressful adulthood can be, learning to be to more playful is one of the best things you can do to improve your emotional well-being (see my articles: The Joy of Being Attuned to Your Inner Child).

The Joy of Being a Playful Adult

What Are the Benefits of Playfulness?

There are many benefits to being playful including:

• Relieving stress
• Stimulating your mind
• Enhancing creativity
• Improving mood
• Boosting vitality
• Improving social connections with others
• Learning how to cooperate with others
• Healing emotional wounds

How to Reconnect to Your Inner Child to Play

Usually, the words "inner child" are associated with overcoming trauma.  But reconnecting with your inner child can also mean allowing yourself to remember the best times of your childhood when you had fun (see my article: Opening Up to New Possibilities).

For people who are accustomed to being serious most of the time, this might involve getting out of your comfort zone, but it can be a lot of fun (see my article: Moving Out of Your Comfort Zone).

Many people have forgotten what it's like to have fun and they find themselves in a rut (see my article: Do You Remember What It's Like to Have Fun? Try a Little Playfulness).

Here are some ways that can help you to reconnect with the playful side of your inner child:

• Put on music, let loose, dance and move how ever your body wants to move
• Ride a bike in nature
• Sing or hum in the shower, including childhood songs you used to enjoy
• Laugh (see my article: The Mental Health Benefits of Laughter)
• Live in the moment (see my article: Living Fully in the Present Moment)
• Swing on a swing in the park
• Go on amusement park rides
• Reread your favorite childhood books or find new ones you might like
• Read a comic book with your favorite characters
• Watch cartoons
• Play with little children or pets
• Color in a coloring book and allow yourself to go outside the lines
• Draw pictures
• Notice the beauty in the world (see my article: Seeing Small Wonders All Around Us If We Just Take the Time to Notice
• Take an improv comedy class
• Take a storytelling class (see my article: The Psychological Benefits of Storytelling)
• Take a bubble bath 
• Learn something new

Conclusion

There can be many physical and psychological benefits to reconnecting with your inner child so you can be more playful.

Being attuned to your playful younger self can improve the quality of your life.

About Me

I am a licensed New York City psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT, Somatic Experiencing and Sex Therapist.

I am a sex positive therapist who works with individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist).

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

 

The Benefits of Laughter For Your Health and Mental Health

You've probably heard the saying, "Laughter is the best medicine" which hints at the physical and mental health benefits of laughter.  In the past, I wrote an article, Humor Can Be Helpful in Psychotherapy, which explored how humor can sometimes increase the effectiveness of therapy.  In this article, I'm focusing on how laughter benefits both your physical and mental health.

The Benefits of Laughter For Your Health and Mental Health

The Benefits of Laughter For Your Health and Mental Health
Laughter is beneficial for your mind and your body because it:

• strengthens your immune system
• elevates your mood
• reduces pain
• protects you against the harmful effects of stress
• inspires hope
• helps you to connect and bond with others
• keeps you grounded
• relaxes your body
• eases stress and anxiety
• strengthens resilience (see my article: Developing Resilience)
• diffuses anger
• reduces inhibitions
• helps you to feel recharged and energized
• increases your ability to use your imagination and increases creativity (see my article: Using Positive Imagination to Cope)

Adults Need to Seek More Opportunities For Laughter
Most children tend to laugh many times a day.  However, adults tend to be more serious, and they don't laugh as much as children. Therefore, adults, who want the health and mental health benefits of laughter, need to seek out more opportunities to laugh.

You can seek out these opportunities to include more laughter in your life by:

• watching a funny movie or TV show
• watching standup comedy
• playing games with friends
• spending time with people who are funny
• playing with your pet
• reading a funny story
• sharing a funny cartoon with friends 
• engaging in laughing yoga
• being grateful for what you have
• being "silly"
• taking an improv class
• sharing true stories about yourself with others (see my article: The Psychological Benefits of Storytelling)

Examples of How to Bring More Laughter Into Your Life

Sue
After realizing that she wasn't having as much fun as she used to, Sue decided to join an improv class, which was recommended by a friend. She had never taken an improv class before and, initially, she felt intimidated. But on her first day of class, she discovered that most other people in the class had never done improv or any type of comedy before, and they were feeling just as inhibited as she was feeling. By the second class, she realized she really liked her instructor, who made learning improv fun easy.  So, after a while, Sue opened up more and allowed herself to just have fun. She realized that she had not laughed so much in years, and she decided to take the next improv class when it was over.

Jim
Although he enjoyed painting in his free time, Jim found it to be too solitary an activity, especially since he already spent a lot of time on his own as an online editor.  He didn't look forward to spending even more time alone doing his artwork.  However, at the suggestion of a neighbor, he offered a free art class to the children in his apartment building, and while he was working with the children, he realized that not only were they having fun, but he was also having fun with them.  This group activity with children helped him to feel energized, and it allowed him to spend time alone doing his own artwork.

Conclusion
As mentioned above, there are many physical health and mental health benefits to laughter.

Sometimes, you need to experiment with different activities to find one that you enjoy.  If you approach this exploration with a sense of curiosity and playfulness, you'll discover an activity that's just right for you. In addition, you'll begin to experience the benefits of laughter.

About Me
I am a licensed NYC psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT, Somatic Experiencing and Sex therapist (see my article: The Benefits of Integrative Therapy).

I provide teletherapy, also known as online therapy, telemental health or telehealth for clients (see my article:  The Advantages of Online Therapy).

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation with me, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Do You Remember What It Was Like to Have Fun in Your Relationship? Try a Little Playfulness

When you're in a long term relationship, it's easy to become bogged down with routines and responsibilities.  You can both get to the point where you feel so weighed down and bored that you forget the love and joy that brought the two of you together in the first place.  But you don't have to remain mired in old routines and boredom.  You can recapture some of the joy you felt in the early days of your relationship by bringing back fun and playfulness into your relationship.

Remember What It Was Like to have Fun in Your Relationship?  Try a Little Playfulness

A relationship that's serious all the time isn't enjoyable.  Over time, irritability, anxiety and a sense of being overwhelmed can erode an otherwise good relationship.

If the mood between you and your spouse tends to be heavy and serious all of the time, you're bound to become annoyed and impatient with each other.  This can lead to boredom, arguments and a feeling of estrangement between the two of you.

If this is what's happening to you and your spouse, you need to put some fun back into your relationship.

Remember "Fun?"
Do you remember what it was like to have fun with your spouse?  No?  Think back to what the two of you enjoyed doing in the past.

Over time, have you stopped doing the activities that were fun and nurturing in your relationship?

If so, maybe now is the time to talk to your spouse and choose a few activities that you used to like to do in the past and make plans to do them again.

Did you used to like to go dancing, biking or ice skating?  Have you given up these activities over time because you let all of your routines crowd them out of your schedule?

Why not make time for at least one of those activities and bring some light hearted fun back into your relationship?

Mary and Bob (a composite vignette of many cases):
Bob and Mary were married for over 25 years when they came to my psychotherapy private practice in NYC.

Their only son, Bill, moved out of state the year before to take a full time job after he graduated college.

Even though they loved their son dearly, prior to his moving out, they had been looking forward to the day when he would be on his own.  But when that day came, they both felt unprepared for the changes that it brought.

They felt a little awkward around each other without Bill at the dinner table every night talking excitedly about his plans for the future.  Neither of them realized, until he was gone, how much their lives centered around their son's life.  And now that he was gone, they each felt a void (see my article: Coping With the Empty Nest Syndrome).

At first, they each filled their spare time with individual projects around the house.  But, after a while, they realized that they were avoiding each other.  Neither of them felt any animosity towards the other.  They just felt that, aside from Bill being gone, "something was missing" from their relationship.

After a few sessions, it became evident that both of them were bored and they felt they didn't have much to look forward to in their relationship.

It was clear that, basically, they had a solid relationship--they just needed to learn to bring some fun and playfulness back into their relationship.  But when I mentioned this to them, they both looked at me as if I had lost my mind!  Bob turned away, and Mary said in a sarcastic tone, "Fun?  What's that?"

Undaunted, I persisted to recite back to them what they told me their average week was like:  Go to work, come home, have dinner, do chores, zone out in front of the TV, and go to bed.  Weekends were loaded with more chores and more mindless TV.  And neither of them could even remember the last time they had sex.

After they heard me reflect back their routines, they both agreed that it was no wonder that they each felt cranky and bored.

So, we began exploring what they each liked to do when they first got together.  We started with the ground rule that they each had to be respectful of what the other person brought up.  No groans or eye rolls.

After a few false starts where neither of them could remember what they liked to do in the early days, Mary said, somewhat sheepishly with a nervous laugh, "We used to have a lot of sex."  Bob looked away in embarrassment, so I told him that it's important to be able to talk about sex in couples counseling (see my article:  The Importance of Talking About Sexual Problems in Your Psychotherapy Sessions).

I often use humor, when appropriate, in therapy sessions (see my article: Humor Can Be An Effective Tool in Therapy).  Humor helped Bob and Mary to open up more and come up with suggestions of things they used to like to do as well as some new activities they wanted to try.

Do You Remember What It Was Like to Have Fun in Your Relationship? Try a Little Playfulness

They even began to make some tentative attempts to flirt with each other, awkwardly at first, and then with more ease.

Flirtation, which is a form of playfulness, helped them to rekindle their sex life, which was emotionally and physically gratifying for both of them.

After a few months, they looked like a different couple--more gregarious and even younger looking.  They were worrying less about their chores (Mary even joked about not worrying about the "dust bunnies" under the couch as she normally would before) and having more fun.

Putting Fun and Playfulness Back in Your Relationship

Not only were they having more fun, but they felt closer to each other than they had in many years.

Tips For Bringing Back Fun and Playfulness Into Your Relationship
Have you and your spouse forgotten how to have fun?

Here are some suggestions:

Bring humor back into your relationship:

• Watch funny movies
• Go to a comedy club
• Play games
• Tell jokes
• Change your perspective and try to see the humorous side to life's small challenges
• Learn to laugh more
• Allow yourself to be "silly" without judging yourself or your spouse

Choose activities that you both enjoy:

• Dust off those dancing shoes and hit the dance floor
• Go for a walk out in nature
• Take cooking lessons
• Learn yoga
• Sign up for art classes

Lighten Up:

• Don't get into arguments over petty issues
• Do role plays where you pretend to be different people
• Use your imagination and get creative

Getting Help in Couples Therapy
Some couples need help to get out of their own way in order to bring back fun and playfulness into their relationship.

Sometimes, there are certain issues that need to get worked out in the relationship before each person can feel comfortable with letting go to have fun.

Getting Help in Couples Therapy

If this is the case in your relationship, you could benefit from working with a licensed mental health professional who works with couples and who has experience with helping couples to learn to have a loving and fulfilling relationship again.

About Me
I am a licensed NYC psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR and Somatic Experiencing therapist who works with individuals and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website:  Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

The Power of Creating Personal Rituals

In a prior blog post I discussed The Power of Rituals.  I'd like to continue the discussion in this blog post by discussing the Power of Creating Personal Rituals.

The Power of Creating Personal Rituals

What Do We Mean by Creating Personal Rituals?
As I discussed in my last blog post, we all have mundane personal rituals that we engage in, whether we're aware of it or not. For some people, it's having a cup of coffee or tea in the morning or reading the newspaper, listening to the weather report, or other similar rituals. Even these simple rituals can bring a certain amount of comfort and a sense of stability. The personal rituals that I'm referring to are rituals that we can create for ourselves that have special meaningful for us.

Examples of Personal Rituals:

Several years ago, a close friend's mother died. My friend, who was very close to her mother, arranged for a wake and a memorial service. She was very grateful for all the comfort that she received from relatives and friends during that time. But after it was over, she felt empty inside, as if she needed something more.

The Power of Creating Personal Rituals

When we talked about it, she told me what she missed the most was having her morning conversations with her mother. She talked about picking up the phone on many mornings to call her mother, after her mother died, and then suddenly remembering that her mother was gone. These moments filled her with so much sadness. And yet, she felt, on some level, that her mother was still alive in a way.

As we talked about it, it became clear that my friend's experience of feeling that her mother was still alive was her own internal experience of her mother, which was very strong. I suggested to her that, even though her mother was not alive any more, she could still "talk" to her mother in her mind through meditation or in a ritual that she created for herself to honor their relationship.

Since my friend had never done this before, she felt a little strange at first. But as she thought about how she wanted to do this, she began by setting a special place on her bedroom dresser where she placed a few pictures of her mother and herself at various ages, including pictures of her mother and her when my friend was a child, a teen, an adult, and more recent pictures of them before her mother died. These pictures represented the various stages in their relationship from a close relationship when she was a child to a rocky adolescence with her mother, and to a more stable period when my friend became an adult and she and her mother reconciled their relationship. After she arranged the pictures to her satisfaction, she decided to place her mother's favorite flowers, irises, in a beautiful vase near the pictures. Then, she added a candle in her mother's favorite color, pink.

As she was creating this special space for her mother, my friend told me how comforting it was for her to set up this area that was dedicated to the memory of her mother and their relationship. She said it was also very satisfying to be creative and have this space be exactly as she wanted it to be. Then, when she was ready, she sat in front of the pictures and the lit candle. She allowed herself to do whatever felt right on that particular day without worrying about what she "should" do or how it ought to be. On certain days, she meditated silently. On other days, she "talked" to her mother about how she felt or her cares, concerns, or positive things that were going on in her life. On other days, she cried. On other days, she told her mother about the funny and wonderful things that were going on in her life.

After a few weeks, my friend felt that she was really connecting to her mother. She didn't make any judgments about what this meant, whether it was purely an internal experience or whether it was also a connection to her mother in the hereafter. She just allowed herself to have the experience and she knew that it was very comforting to her. After a couple of months, she no longer felt the need to do the ritual. By then, she was able to remember and experience her mother as being alive within herself without the ritual, and all she needed to do was think about her whenever she wanted. The ritual has served as a transitional time and space in her mourning.

During the next year or so, a couple of other friends lost their mothers. As we talked about these losses, we decided to get together and perform our own group ritual for the loved ones in our lives who had died. It was sort of a small, personal, memorial service. Each person brought pictures and a special memento that related to their loved one who had died. I brought pictures of my paternal grandfather, including a young, handsome picture of him in his Army uniform and more recent pictures of him before he died. Other friends brought pictures of their parents, siblings, friends, and pets.

We sat in a circle with candles lit on a low, small table and each one of us took turns "introducing" our loved one and saying something about him or her, whether it was a special memory, a story, or why this person was so special to us. In this way, we honored our deceased loved ones in this shared ritual.

Other personal rituals might include setting an intention for the day when you wake up, meditating at a time that feels right for you, praying, reading inspirational literature at a certain time of day, using visualizations, taking a special bath with herbs and candles, or whatever other rituals that would be meaningful to you.

The Power of Creating Personal Rituals

When people create their own rituals, they often experience it as liberating, creative, and emotionally satisfying, especially if they can give themselves permission to create the ritual in whatever way is most meaningful to them without judging themselves.

When we create meaningful rituals for ourselves, we often reach deep inside ourselves and connect to the core of our being. The symbolism of the rituals, including using particular pictures, colors, scents, music, and visualizations helps to deepen our experience, which is deeply satisfying on an emotional and psychological level.

Meaningful rituals often touch us in a deeper way that just using our logical, rational minds alone could ever do. And when we're immersed in a meaningful ritual, we often realize that, in our everyday busy lives, we've neglected that part of ourselves that needs to feel connected to deeper meaningful experiences.

Creating Your Own Meaningful Personal Ritual:

I've given you an example of how a friend created her own personal ritual, which helped her through a difficult time. You can create your own meaningful personal ritual and it can be to honor anything that you want including: a way to express gratitude for what you have in your life, a relaxing ritual at the end of the day to calm and soothe yourself (a bath with your favorite bath salts, oils, candles and incense can be very relaxing), a celebration of an accomplishment, and so on.

If you feel you would like to do this and you've never done it before, give yourself permission to be creative without judging yourself. No one needs to know about your personal ritual if you feel self conscious about it. Creating a personal ritual can get you in touch with that childlike, playful side of yourself. One of the keys to creating your own ritual is that it must feel meaningful and special to you, regardless of what you think others might think or what your own inner critical voice might be telling you.


When you create your own ritual, you often enter into your inner world in a special, timeless, transitional space, especially if you allow yourself to become immersed in the experience. It might feel like a solemn place where you just want to be quiet, or it might feel like a light, uplifting experience where you feel like you want to dance or sing.

The great thing is that you have the freedom to create whatever you want and it be as spartan or as elaborate as you want it to be. You can use whatever symbols you need to help in deepening the experience for yourself. You have the freedom to do it for as long as it feels meaningful or to change it in whatever way that you want or stop whenever you want.

Journaling about your experiences with personal rituals can also help to capture the feelings, thoughts, and ideas that you have while performing the ritual. By journaling, I don't mean keeping a diary where you feel obligated to write something everyday. By journaling, I mean writing whatever captures the experience. It could be one word. It could be a drawing. It could be pages long if you feel inspired to write. 

Journaling about your experiences with personal rituals helps you to dialogue with yourself, if you want to, about the experience. It also helps you to look back on these experiences and to remember them.

People who enjoy creating rituals often experience their personal rituals as a part of having a meaningful life that helps them to feel more emotionally and psychologically balanced, while also continuing to take care of the everyday things that need your attention.

About Me

I am a licensed NYC psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, Somatic Experiencing therapist, and EMDR therapist. I work with both individuals and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.