How Are Emotions Processed in Internal Family Systems (IFS) Parts Work Therapy?

I have been focusing on how emotions are processed in different types of therapies (see links below for prior articles).

What is Parts Work Therapy

IFS, which stands for Internal Family Systems, was developed by Richard Schwartz as a form of trauma therapy in the 1980s.

Processing Emotions in Parts Work

Prior to IFS, Ego States Therapy, which is another form of parts work therapy, was developed by psychiatrists John and Helen Watkins in the 1970s, so IFS wasn't the first type of parts work. 

Ego States Therapy is a psychodynamic approach which is used to resolve inner conflicts, trauma and improve emotional regulation by fostering communication and harmony between the different parts of a person's personality.

I learned Ego States Therapy while I was learning how to do hypnotherapy in 2011 and when I learned IFS a few years later, I saw the similarities between Ego States Therapy and IFS immediately.

Ego States Therapy and IFS have the following similarities:

• The personality is perceived as consisting of separate subparts rather than perceiving the personality as a single, unified whole. Subparts are a part of everyone's personality. This is different from multiple personality disorder.

• Both Ego States Therapy and IFS strive to help the various parts of the personality to work together. The goal is not to get rid of any parts because there are no bad parts. All parts have good intentions even if the intentions aren't apparent at first.

• Both types of parts work are effective for trauma, PTSD and resolving inner conflict.

• Ego States Therapy uses guided imagery and sometimes hypnotherapy to identify and communicate with specific parts, also known as Ego States. IFS uses somatic awareness to identify and communicate with parts.

How Does IFS Parts Work Process Emotions?

Similar to Ego States Therapy, IFS identifies specific parts using compassionate curiosity through the Core Self, which is also known as the Self, Adult Self or Higher Self (see my article: Discovering Your Core Self in IFS Parts Work Therapy).

Here are the key stages of emotional processing in IFS:

• Identifying "Trailheads": Emotional triggers or intense feelings (anger, fear, sadness and so on) are recognized as "trailheads". In other words, they are recognized as gateways to understanding a part.

• Unblending and Self Compassion: Instead of being overtaken by an emotion, you learn to separate from it. This separation or externalization allows for your calm and compassionate Core Self to observe and connect with the emotion without judgment. This is similar to mindfulness where you learn to observe your experiences.

Processing Emotions in Parts Work: Befriending Parts

• Befriending Protective Parts: Before accessing deeply painful emotions, IFS focuses on understanding "managers" (proactive protector parts) and "firefighter" parts (reactive, numbing parts). You learn that these protective parts, which would be identified as defense mechanisms in psychodynamic or psychoanalytic therapy, have positive intentions of protecting you, such as preventing future harm.

• Witnessing the Unburdened Exiles: Once you have developed a trusting relationship with the protective parts, they can allow the Core Self to access the wounded, vulnerable "exile" parts which hold the trauma. The Core Self listens to and observes the exile's story and helps them to release the painful emotions or limiting beliefs they carry. This is called unburdening the exiles.

The 6 Fs of IFS

To process emotions, IFS often uses a structured process to engage with the parts:

• Find: Locate/sense the emotion/part in the body.

• Focus: Bring your attention to it.

• Flesh Out: Get to know the parts (images, sensations, memories).

• Befriend the Part: Listen to and understand the part's intention.

• Fears: Listen to and understand what the part fears if it stops doing what it's doing. For example, a protector part might be afraid when you ask the part to step aside because it fears letting go of control. This is similar to how defense mechanisms work. For instance, you might unconsciously protect yourself with denial about a problem and letting go of that denial can make you afraid. So, whether you conceive of it as a part or a defense mechanism, you have to gain its trust so it feels safe enough to let go.

Through the IFS or Ego States Therapy process, emotions are no longer suppressed or acted out impulsively. Instead, emotions are validated and released. This leads to healing and internal integration which is an essential part of mental health.

Emotional Blocks in Parts Work

After reading the summary above, it would be easy to think that processing emotions in Parts Work, either IFS or Ego States Therapy, is simple, but this isn't always the case (see my article: Working With Emotional Blocks).

Just like in any other therapy, you can experience emotional blocks that get in the way of processing emotions. For instance, in attempting to feel compassion, you might access a critical part instead that gets in the way and needs to be worked with before you can access self compassion. This critical part is often a protector part and it also functions as an emotional block.

In addition, the mind can resist what's unfamiliar. So, if your familiar experience is to berate yourself because you internalized that experience at a young age, you have accessed a protector part that is difficult to let go of because it has become a longstanding part of you.

Although it might not sound like it's protective, all parts have good intentions so it's important to find out what the intention is when a part blocks progress. Then, you can form a trusting relationship with the part so it will eventually let go of criticizing and judging you.

Conclusion

IFS and Ego States Therapy are two of several types of trauma therapies.

The trauma therapist assesses each client to determine which type of trauma therapy--whether it's EMDR, AEDP, Somatic Experiencing, Parts Work or a combination of these modalities is for a particular client. 

Getting Help in Trauma Therapy

If you have unresolved trauma that you have been unable to work through on your own, you could benefit from working with a licensed mental health professional who is a trauma therapist (see my article: What is a Trauma Therapist?).

Getting Help in Trauma Therapy

Freeing yourself from unresolved trauma can help you to live a more fulfilling life.

About Me

I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT (for couples), Parts Work (IFS and Ego States Therapy), Somatic Experiencing and Certified Sex Therapist.

As a trauma therapist, I have over 25 years of experience helping individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Also See My Articles:

Trauma Therapy: The Mind Has a Powerful Innate Ability to Heal Itself

What Does Processing Your Emotions Mean? 

How Are Emotions Processed in EMDR Therapy?

How Are Emotions Processed in AEDP?

What is the Life Cycle of an Emotion?

 

How Can Parts Work Therapy Help You to Be More Creative?

I've written about Parts Work, also known as Ego States Therapy and IFS (Internal Family Systems) before (see my article: How Parts Work Can Empower You)

Also see the articles listed at the end of this article.

What is Creativity?

People often think of creativity as being related only to art, writing and other artistic works.

What is Creativity?

But creativity also includes:

• Problem solving for day to day issues
• Scientific solutions
• Cooking
• Gardening
• Thinking of new ways to approach everyday tasks
• Finding new ways to deal with stress
• Finding new ways to communicate more effectively

And so on.

The list above is only a small fraction of ways to be creative (see my article: Reclaiming Your Creativity).

How Can Parts Work Therapy Help With Creativity?

Parts Work is a type of Experiential Therapy that helps you to get to know the many different aspects of your personality.

In other words, Parts Work helps you to get to know your internal psychological landscape from the inside out.

Parts Work Therapy Can Help With Creativity

Parts Work therapy can be used in many different ways, including in Trauma Therapy. 

It can also be used to help you to access parts of yourself that are unconscious or disowned (see my article: Discovering and Giving Voice to Disowned Parts of Yourself).

A psychotherapist who uses Parts Work can help you to discover the various parts of your personality so you can get to know these parts and use them creatively.

Clinical Vignettes

The following clinical vignettes are composites of many different cases and illustrates how Parts Work Therapy can be used to help with creativity:

Jane

Jane was having problems getting started with a book that was due to her publisher in a few months.

Every time she sat down to try to write, she felt blocked. Specifically, she felt overwhelmed by feelings of inadequacy and shame (see my articles: Shame is at the Root of Most Psychological Problems).

Struggling With the Internal Critic

When she spoke with her therapist, who did Parts Work, Jane discovered that her shame and feelings of inadequacy stemmed from a part that was an internal critic.

This internal critic developed in her childhood from being told by her father that she would never amount to anything (see my article: Overcoming Emotional Blocks).

After working with this critical part, Jane was able to see that this part was keeping her emotionally blocked. 

Through her Parts Work therapy, Jane was able to ask this part to "step aside" with compassion so she could access the more creative parts of herself that helped her to open up new ideas for her book. 

Parts Work Therapy Can Help With Creativity

Her creative parts included a much freer playful part that helped her to play with ideas and freed her up to write.

As she continued to work in Parts Work therapy, Jane learned how to feel compassion for the internal critic part and that part was transformed into a source of strength.  

Once this occurred, Jane no longer had problems with writer's block.

Bill

Bill was given the task of coming up with new ideas for an old product at work. 

Initially, Bill was excited about the project, but every time he tried to sit down to draft ideas, he found himself getting so anxious that he would distract himself with social media or TV as a way to avoid doing the work.

Procrastination as Part of Avoidance

Knowing he couldn't procrastinate anymore, he sought help from a psychotherapist who did Parts Work therapy to overcome his problem.

Through Parts Work therapy, Bill learned that his anxiety was a protective part of himself that feared he would humiliate himself by doing a poor job with the project. His procrastination was related to this part of himself.

His Parts Work therapist helped Bill to realize this protective part stemmed from his childhood experiences in a family that was very risk averse.  

As a child, whenever Bill wanted to try something new, his anxious parents would come up with all kinds of reasons why it would be dangerous for him to try anything new.

By showing compassion to the protective part of himself in Parts Work therapy, he was able to get that part of himself to relax and allow more creative parts of himself which were curious and more adventurous to come to the surface.

These creative parts allowed him to approach his work project with new energy.

Parts Work Therapy Can Help with Creativity

When he presented his ideas to his team, Bill received a lot of praise from his manager and colleagues which also helped to disconfirm his fear that taking risks was dangerous.  He learned instead to be open to his creativity and present his work with pride.

Conclusion

Parts Work is an umbrella term for various types of therapies, like Ego States and IFS.

Parts are aspects of your personality.

Parts are often unconscious so that you aren't aware they're creating obstacles for you.

Parts Work therapy helps to make the unconscious conscious so you can to transform these parts into creative parts.

Many parts go back to childhood and might, at first, resist giving up their protective role. 

You can think of this dynamic as being similar to a defense mechanism which has been ingrained in you for a long time. 

No parts are considered "bad" and no parts are discarded. 

Instead, a Parts Work therapist helps you to find way to transform a part from being an obstacle to being a source of strength.

Getting Help in Parts Work Therapy

Getting Help in Parts Work Therapy

If you're struggling with a problem you have been unable to resolve on your own, rather than continuing to feel stuck, you can seek help from a licensed mental health professional who does Parts Work therapy.

Parts Work therapy helps to free you from obstacles that are getting in your way so you can lead a more fulfilling life.

Also See My Other Articles on Parts Work

How Are Therapy Cards Used For Self Discovery in Parts Work?

Parts Work Therapy: Is an Unconscious Part of Yourself Running Your Life?

About Me

I am a licensed New York City psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EFT (for couples), Somatic Experiencing, IFS, Ego States Therapist and Sex Therapist.

I work with individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

The Mind-Body Connection: Overcoming the Defense Mechanism of Denial With Experiential Therapy

In my prior article, The Mind-Body Connection: The Body Reacts When the Mind Gets Stuck in Denial, I discussed the defense mechanism of denial and how denial impacts people psychologically as well as physically due to the mind-body connection.

Overcoming the Defense Mechanism of Denial

In this article I'm focusing on how Experiential Therapy can help clients who use denial as a maladaptive coping mechanism  (see my article: Why Experiential Therapy is More Effective Than Regular Talk Therapy).

Denial as an Unconscious Process

For many people using denial is an unconscious process. 

People who use denial unconsciously often have little or no awareness that they are using denial to avoid emotional pain--until there are consequences as a result of the denial and avoidance.

The consequences might be a worsening of their emotional problems and/or health.

People who have more awareness about their use of denial often realize they need help, but their fear of dealing with their problems keeps them from fully acknowledging their problem so they don't seek help.

Overcoming the Defense Mechanism of Denial

What You Can Do on Your Own

• Recognize and Acknowledge the Problem: This is the first step in overcoming denial. If you recognize you engage in a pattern of denial and avoidance, you can start to make changes. Some of the signs that you use denial as a defense mechanism include:

• Getting defensive
• Avoiding thinking about a problem
• Avoiding taking action to resolve a problem

• Slow Down: You're more likely to use denial as a way to avoid a problem when you react quickly, so taking the time to slow down can help you to self reflect on how your behavior (or lack of behavior) is affecting a problem you're avoiding.

Practice Mindfulness

• Practice Mindfulness: Along with slowing down, practicing mindfulness can help you to stay calm and grounded so you can deal with stress and your own habit of denial and avoidance.

• Develop Self Awareness: Self reflection can help you to be more self aware recognize how you might be self sabotaging.

Writing in a Journal Develop Self Awareness

• Write in a Journal: Writing about your problems in an open way can help you to observe and reflect on your thoughts, emotions and behavior (see my article:  Writing Can Help You Reflect on Your Thoughts, Emotions and Behavior).

Asking For Emotional Support

• Ask for Emotional Support: Ask trusted family and friends for emotional support. Be open to their feedback and suggestions without getting defensive (see my article: Overcoming Your Discomfort With Asking For Emotional Support).

How Experiential Psychotherapy Can Help to Overcome a Pattern of Using Denial

Experiential Therapy is different than regular talk therapy (see my article: Experiential Therapy Offers a Window Into the Unconscious Mind).

Experiential Therapy can help you:

• Develop Self Awareness: Experiential Therapy can help you to develop better self awareness about unconscious defense mechanisms you might be using, including denial, using mind-body oriented interventions (see my article: Making the Unconscious Conscious).

• Develop Greater Self Reflective Capacity: Experiential Therapy can help you to develop or improve your self reflective capacity so that you can think about their thoughts, emotions and behaviors, including unconscious motivations. Becoming aware of unconscious motivations and using self reflection can help you to think before you act so they can make better choices (see my article: The Unconscious Mind: The Symptom Contains the Solution).

Gaining Insight in Therapy

• Gain Insight: Experiential Therapy can help you to gain insight into your thoughts, emotions and behaviors.

• Provide Clinical Feedback: Experiential Therapists can provide you with clinical feedback to help them understand your patterns and how you make decisions so you can grow and change.

• Overcome Emotional Blocks: Experiential Therapists are aware that you might have difficulty making the changes you want to make because you might have emotional blocks that need to be identified. Once emotional blocks have been discovered, Experiential Therapists can help you to work through and overcome the blocks. This is often challenging and requires a commitment to let go of dynamics that are holding you back (see my article: Overcoming Emotional Blocks).

• Facilitate Transformational Experiences in Therapy: Experiential Therapists can help facilitate transformational changes.

Get Help in Therapy

Since defense mechanisms, like denial, are often unconscious, it can be difficult to overcome emotional blocks to change on your own.

Getting Help in Experiential Therapy

If you have been unable to resolve your problems on your own, you could benefit from seeking help from an Experiential Therapist who can help you to overcome maladaptive coping strategies, like denial and avoidance.

Rather than struggling on your own, seek help from a licensed mental health professional who has the expertise to help you lead to lead a more meaningful and fulfilling life.

About Me

I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT, Somatic Experiencing and Sex Therapist.

I am an Experiential Therapist who works with individual adults and couples.

I have helped many clients to overcome obstacles to their growth.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

 

Overcoming Your Fear of Change

Making a change can be challenging, especially when change involves major life transitions. When you think about making a change, you might go back and forth, not knowing what to do.  But it's not unusual to have mixed feelings about making a transition, even when you know logically that it would be for the best.

Overcoming Fear of Change

What Does Fear of Change Look Like?

For instance, if we know that you have outgrown your current job and you need a change, you can find painful to face this. 

You might procrastinate taking the necessary steps--whether it involves going for additional training or education or starting a job search, because you might fear the unknown and tell yourself:

• "What will happen if I leave my secure but boring job?"

• "What if it turns out to be a bad decision?"

• "What if I don't succeed?"

And on and on until you're paralyzed into inaction.

Ultimately, you might decide to stay at your job for a variety of reasons, but you'll be making an active decision instead of getting stuck in indecision (see my article: Fear of Making a Decision: When Indecision Becomes a Decision).

It often helps to be able to talk to trusted friends and loved ones, especially if they have gone through their own life transitions successfully.

But sometimes friends and loved ones don't know what to say or, worse still, their own fear of change might cause them to advise you not to make any changes.

The other possibility is that, after a while, they might get tired of hearing you go back and forth about a decision and they won't know how to get you "unstuck" so you can overcome the obstacles that are keeping you from changing.

At that point, it would be helpful to seek help from a professional who has assisted clients to overcome the psychological blocks that keep you stuck (see my article: Overcoming Emotional Blocks in Therapy).

Some Questions to Ask Yourself

• How would I feel if I continued to be stuck in this situation for another year? another two years? or five years?

• What if I allowed my fear and mixed feelings to keep me stuck indefinitely?

• Would I look back at my life and say: If only I had made that change when I was younger, maybe I would be where I wanted to be today?

Getting Help in Therapy
There are times when you're unable to work out problems on your own.

Working with a skilled psychotherapy can help you to overcome the fear and ambivalence keeping you stuck.

About Me
I am a licensed New York City psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, Somatic Experiencing and Sex Therapist. 

I work with individual adults and couples and I have helped many clients to overcome fear of change.

To find out more about me, please visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist

For a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Making Big Changes: The Role of the Unconscious and Why You Might Not Be Able to "Just Do It"

Making a major change in your life--even a change you really want--can be challenging.  Many self help books and motivational coaches urge people to "just do it!" as if you could just power through to automatically change.  Although this might be true sometimes, this is a superficial view of what it takes to overcome an emotional block you might encounter when you want to make a big change. What is often overlooked is the role of the unconscious mind in the change process (see my articles: Making the Unconscious Conscious and Experiential Therapy and the Mind-Body Connection: The Body Offers a Window Into the Unconscious Mind).

Making Big Changes: Why You Might Not Be Able to "Just Do It"

On the surface, it seems logical: You want to make a change in your life, so you make a decision to do it and it gets done. But we now know that most of mental processing occurs on an unconscious level. 

So, although you might think you can just push yourself to make a major change, your unconscious mind initiates the process or, as often happens, gets in the way of your making the change.

Clinical Vignette

The following vignette, which is a composite of many cases with all identifying information removed, illustrates how the unconscious can get in the way of making a major change and how experiential therapy can help:

Alice

When Alice came to therapy, she was frustrated and confused about why she was procrastinating with starting a new project she really wanted to do, which involved a major change for her.

Alice told her therapist that there was no doubt in her mind that she wanted to take advantage of this new opportunity to write for a prestigious journal. She knew that being able to publish her scholarly articles would give her the professional exposure she wanted and open up new doors for her.  

And yet, she explained, whenever she thought about submitting her articles to the journal editors, she felt so much anxiety that she got a headache and upset stomach. She tried to reason with herself that there was nothing to cause her discomfort, but she still felt so anxious that she couldn't even sit at her computer.

This left Alice feeling confused and frustrated because she just couldn't understand what was holding her back.  She was also aware that if she procrastinated too long, the editors might withdraw their offer and she didn't want that to happen.  So, to buy herself some time, she negotiated a delay and the editors accommodated her, but she knew she couldn't delay indefinitely.

Prior to coming to therapy, Alice worked with a life coach to help her to get motivated.  The life coach gave Alice various exercises to do, including writing about her core values.  He encouraged her by telling her to remember her past successes, and he also advised her to do affirmations about her new goal. But nothing worked--she still felt sick whenever she thought of this new opportunity.

Not only was she unable to start, but she also felt like there was something seriously wrong with her because her inaction didn't make sense to her.  Her life coach advised Alice that whatever was creating the obstacle for her was beyond the scope of coaching, and he advised her to seek help in therapy so she could work on a deeper level.

Alice's therapist explained to her that, even though, on a conscious level, Alice wanted this opportunity, she was encountering an unconscious block that was getting in the way.  She also explained how they could uncover this block using Experiential Therapy (see my article: Why Experiential Therapy is More Effective Than Regular Talk Therapy).

Her therapist described the various types of Experiential Therapy, which use the mind-body connection, like EMDR therapy, AEDP, Somatic Experiencing and clinical hypnosis,. She explained how these modalities uncover and overcome the emotional blocks that were getting in Alice's way (see my article: The Unconscious Mind and Experiential Therapy).

Over time, Alice's therapist helped Alice to get into a relaxed state so she could use a method called the Affect Bridge to go back to the earliest time when she felt this type of anxiety.  Her therapist explained the Affect Bridge could get to the root of what was triggering Alice's anxiety to uncover the problem.

During one of the sessions using the Affect Bridge, Alice recalled a memory she had not remembered in a long time:  When she was in high school, she came home from school feeling very excited because her English teacher said she wanted to recommend Alice to be a writer on the school newspaper.  Alice loved to write and she had always wanted to write for the paper. But when she told her mother about it, her mother frowned and told her, "Don't forget where we come from."  

Since Alice was a very obedient child and she knew her mother disapproved of her writing for the high school paper, she turned down the opportunity, which made her sad; however, she didn't want to make her mother unhappy.

Later on in that same therapy session, when her therapist was debriefing her, Alice explained that her parents immigrated from Eastern Europe just before Alice was born.  They had very little money when they came and they relied heavily on other family members, who were already in New York, to help them until Alice's father was able to get a job.  They often recalled their impoverished circumstances and the importance of family by saying, "Don't forget--always put family first."

Recalling that memory also prompted other memories where her mother disapproved of other opportunities that were presented to Alice.  Each time it was as if her mother believed that these opportunities would create a wedge between Alice and her.  

Even the thought of Alice going to college was fraught for her mother--until Alice's guidance counselor convinced her mother that Alice would have better job opportunities if she went to college.  This was something her mother understood because it involved work and survival, so she relented, but she wouldn't allow Alice to go away, so she had to go to a local college.

Recalling those memories caused Alice a lot of sadness and anger.  Even though she loved her family and she had been especially close to her mother, she wished she had been able to defy her mother to take advantage of these opportunities.  But, she explained, as a teenager, she didn't dare.  She was too afraid of standing up to her mother, and she believed it would break her mother's heart.

"But why is this affecting me now?" Alice asked her therapist, "I'm 45 years old, and both of my parents are long gone" (see my article:  Reacting to Your Present Circumstances Based on Your Traumatic Past).

As they continued to work together using Experiential Therapy, Alice realized that, even though her mother was no longer alive, her internal experience of her mother still had a powerful influence on her.  She realized that her mother didn't understand and she feared that if Alice took advantage of these opportunities, Alice would begin to move away from her family emotionally or physically.

Gradually, Alice also realized that, unconsciously, she was still trying to appease and reassure her mother that she was still loyal to her family.  Even though her parents had been dead for a number of years, this unconscious wish was still very much a part of her.

After Alice had this realization, she knew it was not only important to her career that she write for the journal--it was also important for her emotional development to stop operating under these longstanding unconscious thoughts. 

So, with some mixed feelings, she submitted her first article to the journal.  She also continued to work in therapy to grieve for what for the opportunities she missed in the past and to overcome some lingering guilt she felt about doing something she knew her mother would have felt threatened by if she were still alive.

Experiential Therapy Helps You to Overcome Emotional Blocks

Her therapist helped Alice to work through the earlier trauma using EMDR therapy, so Alice was able to let go of the remaining emotional blocks and work on her new project without guilt or hesitation.

Conclusion

The unconscious mind has a powerful role in your decision-making.  So when you encounter an obstacle in making a decision or moving forward with a plan, your unconscious mind is likely involved.

Sometimes there's an old unconscious emotional block, like "I'm not good enough" or "I'm unlovable," which is out of your awareness, which keeps you from making the changes you want (see my article: Overcoming the Internal Critic and Overcoming the Emotional Pain of Feeling Unlovable).

Experiential therapy can help you to make the unconscious conscious, as illustrated in the vignette above, so you're free to live fully in the present without trauma.

Getting Help in Therapy

If you've been struggling with a problem despite your best efforts to solve it, you could benefit from working with an experiential therapist.

Rather than struggling on your own, you can overcome the obstacles holding you back so you can live a more fulfilling life.

About Me

I am a licensed New York City psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP and Somatic Experiencing therapist.

I work with individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 or email me.

Overcoming Emotional Blocks in Therapy

In my prior article, Working on Emotional Blocks in Therapy, I began a discussion about identifying emotional blocks.  In this article, I'll discuss how you can overcome emotional blocks in therapy.

Overcoming Emotional Blocks in Therapy

As I mentioned in my previous article, emotional blocks can be readily apparent, as when a client says, "I don't feel I deserve anything good" or they can be unconscious.

When they're unconscious, they usually take more time to come to the surface.

The following scenario is a composite of many cases that demonstrates one way that an emotional block can be identified and worked through in therapy:

Karen:
Karen was in her mid-20s.  She had seen several therapists before she came to see me to deal with unresolved trauma from her childhood that made her fearful of getting involved in romantic relationships.

In her prior therapies, Karen learned, on an intellectual level, that she wasn't responsible for her parents' emotional neglect of her, but this didn't make her any less afraid of the possibility of being emotionally neglected or hurt in a relationship.

Her fear of getting hurt was so great that she shied away from men who showed interest in her, even if she was attracted to them.

At the same time, she was very lonely and wished that she could overcome her fear so she could be in a relationship.

She had been in cognitive behavioral therapy before, so she understood that her fears were distortions, but that didn't change anything.

She had also been in psychodynamic therapy and understood that she had underlying unconscious feelings that were part of the problem, but she didn't know what these unconscious feelings were or what to do about them.

Overcoming Emotional Blocks in Therapy

Using clinical hypnosis, we explored her feelings about being in a relationship.

Over time, in a relaxed hypnotic state, she sensed her conflictual emotions--both her desire to be in a relationship as well as her fear.

As we continued to explore her fear using clinical hypnosis, over time, we both realized that she had an emotional block which was that she was "unlovable." Her fear was that after a potential boyfriend really got to know her well, he wouldn't care about her any more.

Despite the fact that she knew that she had close friends who really cared about her a lot, there was still a part of her that felt she was unlovable.

We continued to work with this part of her in hypnosis.

Over time, it became apparent that this was a younger part of her (many people call this part the "inner child").

This part didn't respond to the logical explanations of cognitive behavioral therapy or psychodynamic interventions because it was such a young part, possibly preverbal.

So, we worked in therapy to help this young part of Karen to develop the internal resources that she needed to nurture this part of herself.

We worked to help Karen internalize positive experiences that she had with various friends and mentors in her life on a deep level.

Prior to working this way, even though Karen experienced her friends' love for her, her feelings were fleeting and she never internalized them in a deep way.  The challenge in our work together was to help Karen to internalize these positive experiences on a deeper level.

By remembering individual positive experiences in hypnosis and making these feelings come alive for her on an emotional and physical level, over time, Karen began to have a sense of being a lovable person.

This work wasn't quick, but by enriching these memories during hypnosis, she experienced these positive experiences not only in an explicit (conscious) way--she also learned to have an embodied experience of them on an implicit (unconscious) level (see my article:  Mind-Body Psychotherapy: Healing Trauma With New Symbolic Memories).

Overcoming Emotional Blocks in Therapy

By doing this work, Karen was able to enhance the positive experiences that she had with nurturing individuals so that these memories became a bigger part of her awareness on a conscious and unconscious level, which is different from just having an intellectual understanding:  She actually felt and believed it.

Getting Help in Therapy to Overcome Emotional Blocks
Emotional blocks are common problems for many people.

They're often difficult to overcome on your own.

Rather than struggling against these blocks by yourself, you could benefit from getting professional help from a licensed mental health practitioner who can help you to overcome them.

About Me
I am a licensed NYC psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR and Somatic Experiencing therapist who works with individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website:  Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 or email me.