Posts
I'm focusing on the mind-body connection when the mind gets stuck in denial and how denial can affect the body.
What is Denial?
Denial is a defense mechanism (see my article: Understanding Defense Mechanisms).
 |
| The Body Reacts When the Mind Gets Stuck in Denial |
People use denial as a form of self protection against accepting something that would be too painful for them to admit to themselves.
Signs of Denial
Some common signs include:
- Refusing to talk about the problem
- Finding ways to justify denial
- Blaming others or outside forces for the problem
- Persisting in behavior despite negative consequences
- Promising to address the problem in the future, but it doesn't get addressed
- Avoiding thinking about the problem
Short Term Denial vs Ongoing Denial
Short term denial can be helpful and adaptive under certain circumstances.
However, ongoing denial, which happens the mind gets stuck in denial, is often self destructive and destructive to others.
Ongoing denial is a maladaptive use of this defense mechanism.
Short Term Denial Can Be Helpful Under Certain Circumstances
Sometimes short term denial can be adaptive because it gives people a chance
to get ready to face a situation they're not ready to face in the moment.
An Example of Short Term Denial Being Helpful
Mario and Judy
When the doctor told Mario and his older sister, Judy, that their mother's cancer was terminal and that any more chemotherapy would only hasten her demise, they were shocked and they refused to believe it at first. However, after the initial shock wore off, they talked to their mother's doctor about next steps. After their talk, they were ready to accept that their mother would be much more comfortable in hospice care where she would be made comfortable until she passed away. Three days after being in hospice, their mother passed away peacefully in and, although they grieved the loss, they knew they made the best decision for her. In this example, Mario and Judy weren't ready, at first, to accept the news that nothing more could be done to eradicate the cancer. Their short term denial gave them a chance to process and accept the news, as hard as it was, and prepare themselves for the worst. At that point, they were able to make the decision to have the medical staff transfer their mother into hospice care so she would be made comfortable. After her death, even though they were very sad and they grieved, they knew they made the right decision in accepting the futility of further cancer treatment and hospice was the best possible option under the circumstances.
An Example of How Ongoing Denial Can Affect the Body
Nina
Mario and Judy's younger sister, Nina, had a very different experience. After their mother died, Mario and Judy grieved their mother's death and eventually they made peace with her passing. But Nina wasn't able to accept her mother's terminal cancer diagnosis. She was in complete denial. She argued with the oncologist and the nurses on the cancer ward. She also opposed putting the mother in hospice and argued with her siblings. She kept insisting that more chemotherapy would help, but Judy was on the mother's health proxy and she had power of attorney, so Nina couldn't stop her siblings' decisions.
After her mother died, Nina contacted several malpractice attorneys. She channeled all her denial and anger about the mother's death into bringing a malpractice suit against the medical staff that treated her mother. But, after reviewing the medical records, every lawyer she contacted told her that she didn't have a case. No one in the family was able to help Nina to accept that everything that could have been done was done.
After several months, Nina's denial took a toll on her health. She developed insomnia, frequent headaches and high blood pressure. Her primary care physical advised her that she needed to accept and mourn the loss of her mother. But she wouldn't accept her mother's death and her health continued to deteriorate until she was hospitalized.
It wasn't until the hospital sent a clinical social worker who was on staff to speak with Nina about the impact her denial was having on her health that she began to take her first tentative steps to overcome her denial. Part of her hospital discharge plan was to see a psychotherapist to deal with her denial and release the grief that was bottled up inside her.
How the Body Reacts When the Mind Gets Stuck in Denial
In Dr. Bessel van der Kolk's excellent book, The Body Keeps the Score, he discusses the connection between the mind and the body.
 |
| The Body Reacts When the Mind Gets Stuck in Denial |
Ongoing denial occurs when a person refuses to accept something that is too painful for them. Even though their mind might reject whatever they cannot accept, their body can react.
When someone gets stuck in denial, they use a lot of mental energy to maintain this defense mechanism. This causes stress and muscle tension.
Over time, stress hormones can take their toll on the body.
The person who is in denial might not make the connection between their denial and the consequences to their body.
Other Examples of Denial
- Someone denies they have an alcohol or drug problem because they're still able to function on a day-to-day basis.
 |
| In Denial About Substance Abuse Problems |
- Someone hurts their partner's feelings, but instead of accepting this, they blame their partner for their hurtful behavior.
 |
| Blaming a Partner For One's Own Behavior |
- Someone who is having an emotional problem refuses to accept it or get help, so it gets worse over time both emotionally and physically.
Getting Help in Therapy
Before denial takes its toll on your mind and body, seek help from a licensed mental health professional.
.jpg) |
| Getting Help in Therapy |
A skilled psychotherapist can help you to identify your particular pattern of denial and other defense mechanisms you might be using to avoid dealing with your problems.
Rather than allowing your problems to get worse, seek professional help so you can lead a healthier and more fulfilling life.
See My Other Related Articles
About Me
I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT, Somatic Experiencing and Sex Therapist.
I work with individual adults and couples.
To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.
To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.
.jpg)
