Untreated Emotional Trauma is a Serious Issue - Part 2: Understanding the Impact of Trauma

In Part 1 of my article,  Untreated Emotional Trauma is a Serious Issue With Negative Consequences, I defined emotional trauma and gave examples of some of  the possible consequences of untreated trauma.  In Part 2 of this article, I discuss the problem of making a connection between the impact of childhood trauma in adult lives.

Untreated Emotional Trauma is a Serious Issue: Understanding the Impact of Trauma

Problems With Understanding the Impact of Untreated Early Emotional Trauma

As I mentioned in my last article, people who have early emotional trauma from childhood, often minimize the impact of the trauma in their adult lives because they feel it happened a long time ago or they don't understand the consequences of the trauma.

People who were traumatized as children often don't make the connection between what's going on in their lives now and what happened to them when they were children.

The following vignette, which, as always, is a composite of many cases with all identifying information changed, illustrates the impact of childhood trauma on an adult:

Joe:

Joe, who was in his early 30s, had no close friends.  There were people that he knew from college and kept up with on Facebook, but he spent most of his free time alone and feeling lonely.

Even though he was lonely and, in many ways, he wanted to have a girlfriend and close friends, Joe had a hard time trusting people enough to allow them to get close to him.  He talked to people at work, mostly because they approached him, but he never accepted their invitations to go out afterwards to socialize because he felt shy and socially awkward.

He spent most weekends either zoning out in front of the TV or playing video games.  Sometimes, he went to visit his mother, who lived a few miles away, but he often regretted these visits because his father was frequently drunk and verbally abusive with Joe and his mother.  His father's behavior reminded Joe of  how terrified he used to be of his father when his father got into one of his frequent drunken rages and would hit him and his mother when Joe was a child.

Even though he knew that, as an adult, he could now physically restrain his father if he had to, Joe still flinched whenever his father went into a drunken tirade and came close to Joe in a menacing way.  When they were alone, his mother would tell him that his father no longer hit her and, in fact, his father wasn't in good health because of his alcoholism.

During those visits, Joe could look at his father and see that he was frail, especially compared to what an imposing and intimidating figure he used to be when Joe was a child and he felt terrified of his father.   But even though he could see this with his own eyes, deep down, he still feared his father, and Joe had a hard time understanding why he continued to feel this way when he knew, logically, that his father was no longer a real threat to him.

Joe also knew that he had a fear of most people, even people that he liked from a distance.  Even though he was lonely and part of him really yearned for an emotional connection with others, a bigger part of him was too afraid to allow anyone to get close to him, and he just couldn't understand why he felt this way.

Over time, Joe's fears got worse.  He tried to understand why he felt this way, even with people that he thought he might like to get to know better.  He didn't understand what stopped him from initiating conversations with people that he liked at work.  He knew that most people in the office seemed to like him.

He knew, logically, that they weren't people who were actually dangerous in any way.  And, yet, whenever he imagined himself taking the initiative to start a conversation with one of them or accepting an invitation to go out with the group after work, he felt frightened.  It just didn't make sense to him and it continued to be an emotional dilemma for Joe.

Joe didn't make the connection between his early childhood trauma of living in a household with a raging and abusive father and his fear of connecting with people as an adult.  But he knew something was wrong, and he began to consider whether he should see a psychotherapist.

In a future blog article, I'll continue this discussion and discuss how getting help from a licensed psychotherapist can make a difference in overcoming emotional trauma.

Getting Help
The impact of untreated trauma can take its toll in many ways, including psychologically, physically and socially.  If you have experienced emotional trauma, you owe it to yourself to get help from a licensed mental health professional to work through the trauma so it no longer affects you and you can lead a more fulfilling life.

About Me:
I am a licensed NYC psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR and Somatic Experiencing therapist who works with individual adults and couples.  I have helped many clients to overcome the impact of trauma.

To find out more about me, visit my website:  Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Untreated Emotional Trauma is a Serious Issue With Negative Consequences - Part 1

Untreated emotional trauma is a serious issue with negative consequences.  But many people try to minimize the effect of their trauma by trying to "forget it" or "ignore it."  They're often in denial about how their untreated trauma is affecting them now because they don't understand it and they don't recognize the consequences.

Often, their attitude is, "It happened a long time ago, so why should I be concerned about it now?"  In this article, I'll define emotional trauma and some of its symptoms.  In future articles, I'll address why it's important to get help for emotional trauma in psychotherapy with a licensed mental health professional.

Many People Who Were Traumatized Are in Denial About the Impact of the Trauma on Their Lives

What is Emotional Trauma?
There are many experiences that can lead to emotional trauma, including:

• physical abuse, emotional or sexual abuse
• witnessing domestic violence as a child
• living in a family where one or both parents have an alcohol or substance abuse problem or other compulsive or addictive problem, including gambling
• being removed from a childhood home
• having a parent or close relative who is incarcerated
• living in a family with serious financial problems
• loss of close family members or friends, especially at an early age in childhood
• medical problems
• disabilities
• being bullied
• experiencing a natural disaster
• living through a war

Even when many years have passed since the original trauma, untreated trauma can result in people developing the following symptoms:

• insomnia
• anxiety
• depression
• fear and a sense of foreboding
• alcohol or drug problems
• sexual addiction
• workaholism
• eating disorders
• problems with anger management
• irritability
• impatience
• avoiding other people/social isolation
• feeling unlovable
• a sense of hopelessness 
• a sense of helplessness
• low self esteem
• being emotionally numb or "shutdown"
• problems with dissociation or feeling disconnected from other people and the environment
• medical problems, including autoimmune disorders
• problems trusting others
• fear of getting involved in relationships and friendships
• getting involved in emotionally or physically abuse relationships
• being too passive
• being too rigid
• problems concentrating
• problems in school
• problems holding onto a job
• problems with authority figures
• legal problems
• engaging in risky behavior
• phobias
• obsessive behavior
• being overly protective with their children
• having emotional blind spots for abuse or other problems that might be occurring to their children

The list above is just some of the many problems that can result from untreated emotional trauma.

Untreated Trauma Can Result in Alcoholism or Drug Abuse

Untreated Trauma Can Result in Insomnia

Untreated Trauma Can Result in Workaholism

Very often, the people who experienced trauma at a young age don't make the connection between the early trauma and the problems they're having now.

They don't understand that there's a connection between their current problems and their early trauma.

Many people who have been traumatized just feel resigned to their history, and their attitude is, "That's just the way it was."

Untreated Trauma Often Result in Choosing an Abusive Spouse

Dissociation: Compartmentalization of the Traumatic Experience
Often, when they were growing up, there was no one available to let them know that what they were going through was traumatic.  There was no one to help them, so they did the best they could as children under the circumstances.

Coping with their trauma as children often meant compartmentalizing or dissociating their traumatic experiences.  Their dissociation probably helped them to cope with what was going on at the time because it numbed their emotional pain.  But, even though dissociation might have helped them, to a certain extent, from feeling the full impact of the emotional pain, inevitably, it has consequences for them as adults.

In future articles, I'll continue discussing why it's so important to work through emotional trauma in therapy.

Getting Help in Therapy
If you experienced emotional trauma, you could benefit from getting help from a licensed mental health professional who has expertise in helping therapy clients to overcome trauma.  Working through trauma in psychotherapy can help you to free yourself from your traumatic history.

About Me:
I am a licensed New York City psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR and Somatic Experiencing therapist who works with individual adults and couples.

One of my specialties in my psychotherapy private practice is helping clients to overcome trauma.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Workplace: Coping with a Difficult Boss

At some point in your career, unless you're very lucky, you will probably have to deal with a difficult boss. Knowing how to deal with a difficult boss is essential to your well being and the future of your career.

Coping With a Difficult Boss

In this post, I'll consider certain types of bosses that most people would describe as "difficult" and provide some suggestions that you might find helpful. Since there are so many different kinds of difficult bosses, I'm sure I won't cover everything, and your comments are valuable so that I can include more information in the future.

It's also important that, since no one can truly understand a situation with a difficult boss unless you're in it, just like anything else, you need to use your judgement about your particular situation as to whether my recommendations would work for you.

Let's start out with certain premises. First, it's important to understand that one person's opinion about a boss might be very different than another's, so that what you might consider to be "difficult" others might find appealing. Second, it's possible, as hard as this might sound, that your difficult boss might actually think that he or she is doing a very good job. Your boss might lack any kind of self awareness about his or her behavior. Also, it's possible that this behavior might actually be encouraged by his superiors. The other factor to consider is whether or not you're contributing to the situation by your own behavior. This is an especially difficult thing to acknowledge. So, you need to look at your own behavior in the situation and be honest with yourself about your role in the situation and how you might need to change yourself in order to change the situation.

What is a Difficult Boss?
As previously stated, one person's idea of a difficult boss might be the ideal for someone else. It can be very subjective. However, here's a few of the most common "difficult boss" categories that I usually hear about in my office. Recognize that, for simplicity's sake, these are stereotypes. People are more complex than stereotypes and, to a certain extent, what you're dealing with might be different or a combination of several "types."

The Micromanager

The micromanager usually likes to feel in control of the most mundane aspects of a project. Often, he or she is insecure and cannot allow competent staff to carry out their duties without having staff constantly coming back to him or her at every step of the way to get approval. He or she can bog down projects with unnecessary meetings, sign offs, telephone calls, and other time wasters and, generally, annoy the staff with his or her need to oversee every little detail.

The Mircomanager

The Hands Off manager
The hands off manager is just the opposite of the micromanager. He or she is usually disengaged from the work and the staff. He gives little direction and leaves the staff wondering what he wants with regard to goals and objectives. Sometimes, he might not know or he might think that he is allowing his staff to take charge. However, the effect is often inefficient and ineffective if the staff "guesses" wrong and must waste time and effort redoing a project.

The Fault Finder

The fault finder is similar to the micromanager and some people consider this type of manager to be a subset of that category. The fault finding boss is usually very critical and looks for what's wrong most of the time and gives little or no credit for what's right. This type of boss can demoralize the staff quickly. He or she might look for the smallest mistake to point out, possibly overlooking a generally excellent job. This might be because his own level of competency is limited and he cannot judge the project on anything more than the smallest details or it might be his character. Whatever the reason, after a while, the staff will often lose their motivation to do a good job because it is almost never recognized. This, in turn, can make the fault finder even more negative.

The Indecisive Manager
The indecisive manager cannot make up his mind what he wants. As a result, he either gives little or no direction (similar to the hands off manager) or he keeps changing his mind. The indecisive manager is often insecure or he might be inexperienced. Possibly, he was thrown into his position with little or no training and he is not really competent for his job. The result is that he will often frustrate the staff with changes in direction or goals for a project, wasting time and effort.

The Boss who Takes All the Credit

The boss who takes all the credit for your ideas and your work, giving you little or no credit, is often a manipulative and insecure person. If he was not insecure about his own position, he would be generous enough to give you credit. He is often the boss who that will go to his superiors, without your knowledge, and claim responsibiliity for your ideas.

The Bully

Bullies are one of the most difficult types of bosses to deal with on the job. Often, they know that they're bullying the staff and either they don't care or they think that this is an effective way to get people to do their jobs or they just don't know any other way. These types of bosses are usually insecure and angry in general. They might not act this way at home with their spouses because their spouses might not put up with it and they might be very accommodating with their own superiors, but when they come to the office, they enjoy having power over their staff. They might yell or scream, demean people in staff meetings or be hyper critical. The bully gets off on power and control. Just like any other bully, like the schoolyard bully, there's often a scared person underneath it all who is hiding his fear by bullying his subordinates around.

Also see article: HR, It's Time to Show Bullies the Exit

The Sexual Harasser
Sexual harassment is a big topic. It can take many forms. It can range from inappropriate comments to be a "quid pro quo" situation where your manager offers you a raise or a promotion if you have sex with him. If you are being sexually harassed by your manager and if you work for a large company, you can speak with your Equal Employment Opportunity Officer to get help. Sexual harassment is against the law and it often does not stop unless you take steps--whatever steps you decide to take. If you're in a small company, you can go to your local, State or Federal EEOC agency to get help. Only you can decide the best course of action for your particular situation, but you should educate yourself as to your options. Go to your local, State or Federal EEOC website to get information. You might decide to leave, if that's an option for you.

I'm sure you can think of other types of difficult bosses.

How to Handle the Difficult Boss
Once again, you know your situation best. Other than the "sexual harasser" and "the bully" who might require you to go above his head or outside your company for help, if you think that your manager doesn't realize the effect he or she is having on you, consider whether this is someone that you can talk to privately to discuss the situation. If you think your manager would be open to it, ask him or her for a convenient time when you can talk privately. I'm stressing "privately" because a public confrontation is usually a bad idea. It might make you feel good at the time, but the repercussions are usually bad. First, your manager will be humiliated and won't hear what you have to say. Second, you'll be seen as someone who doesn't know how to handle difficult situations. Third, you might get fired.

Assuming that your manager is open to it and schedules a time for you, organize your thoughts before the meeting by writing down what you want to discuss. You don't have to discuss every time and every situation. This would probably not be effective. However, a few examples would suffice. Also, rather than just focusing on what's wrong (like the critical boss), try to find some things you think are positive, if you can. In addition, if you have some suggestions as to how the situation might improve, talk about them, once again, if you think your manager would be receptive to it.

If you think that speaking to your manager might make things worse because he or she cannot tolerate hearing any complaints, then you need to decide how to proceed. Is there a Human Resources Department? Do you have confidence in them? Do they have any authority or power to change the situation? Are there other colleagues who are experiencing the same problems with this manager? In certain situations, it might be better to go as a group rather than your going alone. However, in other situations, you might be perceived as "a troublemaker" if it gets out that you're the one who organized people. So, once again, you must use your judgement.

There are some situations with difficult bosses that are not likely to be improved for a variety of reasons. One might be that this is the culture of the particular workplace where you are and these problems go to the top. Another might be that your boss is the head or the owner of the company and he feels that he can do whatever he wants. Another reason might be that talking it out with an insecure or angry boss or with his boss or the Human Resources Dept. could make things worse. Your boss might never trust you again and might try to take steps to get you fired.

It's important for you to be able to "read" the particular situation that you're in and decide if it's worth it to stay or if you should leave. There might be particular reasons why you're staying for a while--maybe you're close to retirement or the job market is not good or you know you'll need to take Family Medical Leave soon and you won't get it immediately at a new company. There can be so many different reasons. That's why it's a very personal and individual decision.

One important factor to consider is how this boss or this job is affecting your self esteem and overall well being. If you feel that working under your particular circumstance is having a detrimental effect on your self worth or affecting your relationships at home because you come home stressed out and upset on most days, then it might be worthwhile to start looking for another job.

Hopefully, your encounters with difficult bosses will be few and far between in a long, successful career. However, if you feel that you are stuck and need support on how to deal with a difficult boss, you might consider going to a licensed mental health professional who is experienced in this area and who can help you to sort out your feelings and options and strategize on what to do.

And if, by chance, you recognize yourself as being a manager in one of the categories discussed in this post and you want to change your behavior for yourself as well as your staff, you can benefit from seeing a licensed mental health professional. More and more, companies are less willing to tolerate managers who have poor interpersonal skills, so you, your company, and your staff could benefit from your getting help.

About Me
I am a licensed NYC psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, and EMDR therapist. 

One of my specialities is helping clients to deal with career and workplace issues.

To find out more about me, visit my web site: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 or email me.

Making Changes: Overcoming the "Inner Voice of Negative Prediction"

When you're trying to make positive changes in your life, whether it's to improve your diet, lose weight, become a successful nonsmoker, return to school to complete your education or whatever changes you might want to make, very often, one of the main obstacles is "the inner voice of negative prediction."

Making Changes: Overcoming the "Inner Voice of Negative Prediction"

What is the "Inner Voice of Negative Prediction"
"The inner voice of negative prediction" is that internal voice that tells you that you can't do it and says things like, "If you try to improve your diet, you're going to fail just the way you have every other time so you might as well not even try" or if you want to become a successful nonsmoker, it might say, "If you give up cigarettes, you're going to become extremely anxious, overeat and get fat, so don't do it."

I believe that the term "inner voice of negative prediction" was originally coined by Al Pesso in his psychomotor psychotherapy theory (http://www.pbsp.com ).

Often, this internal negative voice has been a part of your inner world for a long time and it becomes an obstacle in whatever positive changes you try to make. But instead of berating that inner voice, it's often better to find out what that inner voice wants. Maybe that negative or insecure part needs reassurance in much the same way that an insecure child might need reassurance.

Getting Help:  How Clinical Hypnosis Can Help
When clients come to me to try to make changes in their lives and their "inner voice of negative prediction" starts getting in the way of making those changes, I often find it helpful to address the needs of that part in hypnosis.

Hypnosis is a powerful tool for making positive changes. Through hypnosis, my clients get to sense that part of themselves that is holding them back and to soothe that part.

Overcome the "Inner Voice of Negative Prediction"

Very often, when my clients see themselves in their minds' eye in a hypnotic state taking care of that insecure part, the part calms down, just as an insecure child would, and stops making "negative predictions."

When that inner part calms down, then it's usually possible to make whatever changes you want to make in your life.

If you want to make changes in your life, you could benefit from hypnosis.

About Me:
I am a licensed NYC psychotherapist, hypnotherapist and EMDR therapist. I have helped many clients to make positive changes in their lives.

To find out more about me, visit my website:  Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Relationships: How to Get Closer When You've Grown Apart

In a prior article, Your Relationship: Telltale Signs That You and Your Spouse Might Be Growing Apart, I addressed some of the telltale signs of individuals in a relationship growing apart.  In this article, I'll be focusing on what you can do if you've grown apart and you want to get closer together.

Relationships:  How to Get Closer When You've Grown Apart

While it's true that for many couples, by the time they acknowledge that they've grown apart, their problems are often too far gone to resolve, for many others relationships, there are still things the couple can do to salvage their relationship.

Make Your Spouse Your Priority
There are many things that can compete for your attention, including your job, your friendships, family, and other activities.

While it's important to have close relationships and activities outside of your marriage, if these other relationships and activities become more important than your spouse, chances are good that you're going to grow apart until the relationship ends.

So, it's important, while finding a balance to have close friends, family and social activities, that you make your spouse your top priority.

Spend Time Together to Bond With One Another
Spending time together is important to getting closer together.  Time together should be quality time without distractions from the TV, phone and electronic gadgets.

This isn't the time to talk about the problems in your relationship.  This is a time to reconnect.

Address Problems as They Come Up Rather Than Allowing Resentments to Fester
Aside from spending time together to bond, there also needs to be time to communicate with each other about problems.

Too many couples try to avoid talking about problems between them.  But, often, all this does is make resentments fester.

It's a good idea to "pick your battles" rather than addressing every little thing that bothers you.  Over the course of a long-term relationship, bickering about petty issues can erode a relationship and create more distance between two people.

Remember What Brought the Two of You Together When You First Met
It's so easy to forget all the things that drew you to each other when you first met.

Talking about these happy memories could help to bring you closer together and motivate you to recapture some of those moments:

Did you used to feel close to each other when you danced together?  Why not play one of your old favorite songs at home and dance together?

Relationships: How to Get Closer When You've Grown Apart: Remember What Brought You Together

Aside from being fun, it can help to increase some of the emotional intimacy that you lost over the years.

Find Something That You're Both Passionate About
Whether it's a hobby or social activity, find something that you're both passionate about and share this experience.

Sharing in a hobby or new activity can bring you closer together.  It can also bring new meaning into your life.

Share Your Hopes and Dreams
When two people in a relationship grow apart, they often stop talking to each other about their hopes and dreams for themselves as individuals as well as their relationship.

Opening up and talking to your spouse about what's meaningful to you can bring you closer together.  It can also increase emotional intimacy that might have decreased over the years.

Recognize That Nurturing Your Relationship is an Ongoing Process
Getting closer together isn't like a one-time event and then you're done.  It's an ongoing process.

You and your spouse need to keep paying attention to each other.

Getting Help in Therapy
If you find that, despite your best efforts, you and your spouse are having problems getting closer after you've grown apart, there's still a chance that your relationship can be salvaged by seeing a licensed psychotherapist who has expertise working with couples.

It's important that you find someone that both you and your spouse both feel comfortable with, so you might need to have consultations with a few therapists until you find a therapist that you both like.

If you begin couples counseling, recognize that years of problems in your relationship aren't going to go away in a few sessions, so you both need to make a commitment to the therapy to work.

I am a licensed NYC psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR and Somatic Experiencing therapist who works with individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website:  Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Relationships: Telltale Signs That You and Your Spouse Are Growing Apart

As a psychotherapist in New York City, one of the most common responses that I get when I ask clients what caused their relationship to end is: "We grew apart."

Relationships:  Are You and Your Partner Growing Apart?

Often, people tell me this and they don't really understand what happened and why they grew apart.  Most of the time, it seems to be a gradual process where the two individuals in the relationship slowly start to spend less time together and, when they're together, they're not as engaged with each other as they once were.

What Are Some of the Signs That You and Your Spouse Might Be Growing Apart?

There's a Decrease in Your Sexual and Emotional Intimacy
There's an old saying, "Sex is the first thing that goes" and, generally, this is usually the case with many relationships where people grow apart from each other.

While it's usually true that people are less sexual after the first year or two, if a decrease in sexual intimacy gets to the point where you and your spouse's sexual life is almost non-existent, this is usually a sign that the two of you are growing apart.

Aside from sexual intimacy, when people in a relationship grow apart, there's often a decrease in emotional intimacy.  You're not sharing your feelings with each other as much as you used to do.

There are so many distractions, TV, cellphones, iPads, and so on, that it's easy to distract yourself from your partner by getting immersed in these distractions instead of paying attention to your spouse (see my article: Relationships: The Importance of Unplugging From Electronic Gadgets to Spend Quality Time Together .

The Two of You Are Spending Less Time Together
This is related to a decrease in sexual and emotional intimacy.  Often this happens because the individuals in the relationship are bored with each other and look to find other outlets (staying late at work, spending more time with other people, having affair) instead of spending time with their spouse.

The Romance is Gone
No one expects that you'll be as passionate in a long term relationship as you were when you first got married, but when you and your spouse are growing apart, there usually aren't even romantic gestures any more.  Both people might be "going through the motions," which usually isn't fulfilling to either person.

The Fun is Gone Out of the Relationship
Humor is an important part of life, especially in a long term relationship.  Having a sense of humor and the ability to have fun enriches the relationship and helps couples to weather the challenges in any relationship.

You're Bickering Has Increased Over Petty Issues
When people are growing apart, they often feel frustrated with each other.  This can lead to bickering over petty issues.

Are the Two of You Growing Apart in Your Relationship?

If you and your spouse are bickering and there's a voice in your head that says, "Why are we arguing about this petty issue?" it's often because the bickering is a symptom of two people who are growing apart.  Whatever precipitated the bickering, it's usually not about whatever you're arguing about.  It's usually indicative that there are other things going on that you and your spouse aren't addressing.

In my next article, I'll discuss what you and your spouse (or partner) can do if you realize you're growing apart and you both want to get closer to each other (see my article: Relationships: How to Get Closer When You Have Grown Apart).

Getting Help in Therapy
If you feel that you and your spouse are beyond the point where you can repair your relationship on your own, you could benefit from seeing a licensed psychotherapist who works with couples, a therapist who has expertise in helping couples get closer and who can be objective.

About Me
I am a licensed NYC psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR and Somatic Experiencing therapist who works with individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website:  Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Mind-Body Connection: EMDR Therapy Can Help Resolve Emotional Problems Rooted in Childhood Trauma

In a prior article, EMDR: Resolving Childhood Trauma to Lead a More Fulfilling Life as an Adult, I discussed how childhood emotional trauma is often at the root of problems that people experience later on as adults, often without people being aware of it.

Mind-Body Connection: EMDR Therapy Can Help Resolve Emotional Problems Rooted in Childhood Trauma

In that article, I discussed a vignette, which was a composite of many cases, where Ina, a therapy client, kept entering into romantic relationships with men who drained her emotionally and financially to the point where she was in emotional and financial crisis.

As I mentioned, when she started therapy, she had no understanding of how her childhood emotional history was repeating itself over and over again in her adult life.  But with the help of EMDR therapy she was able to not only make connections between her childhood history and her current problems but also work through the original trauma that was repeating itself in her current life.

How Emotional Problems in Adulthood Are Often Rooted in Childhood Trauma
In the example that I gave in my article, EMDR: Resolving Childhood Trauma to Lead a More Fulfilling Life as an Adult, Ina, without understanding why, kept getting involved with men that she kept trying to "rescue" and who were emotionally and financially dependent upon her.

How Emotional Problems in Adulthood Are Often Rooted in Childhood Trauma

What Ina didn't understand was that she was unconsciously repeating her childhood history with a father, who would lose one job after another because of his alcoholism.

After Ina's mother got fed up and left Ina's father, taking 12 year old Ina and her 10 year old brother with her, Ina would worry a lot about her father and what would become of him.  When she saw him, she would offer him whatever money she saved up from her allowance.  They would both pretend that it was only a loan, but Ina knew that her father wouldn't pay her back.

By the time Ina was 13, her father was living in a halfway house because he had alienated all of his relatives and friends because he continued to drink and never pay back the money that he borrowed.

Whenever Ina saw her father collecting bottles and cans from the trash, she felt like her heart would break.  She would immediately turn around and go the other way so he wouldn't see her and feel humiliated.

One day, when Ina was with a friend, her friend said to her, "Isn't that your father?" and Ina, who felt ashamed, denied it.  Afterwards, Ina went home and felt even more ashamed of herself for being embarrassed to acknowledge her father.

By the time Ina was 17, her father died from alcohol poisoning.  It was a tremendous loss for Ina.  Even though she knew logically that it wasn't her fault, on an emotional level, she felt like it was her fault.  On an emotional level, she felt she could have done more for him to help him.

EMDR and the "Float Back" to Earlier Trauma
In EMDR, there's a concept known as the "float back" technique where a therapy client uses the emotions and internal experiences, including where the client feels the emotions in his or her body, to connect current trauma to earlier trauma.  The "float back" technique is similar to the Affect Bridge in clinical hypnosis (also known as hypnotherapy).

During one of her EMDR sessions, Ina was able to connect her current emotional problems of attempting to "rescue" her current and prior boyfriends to her earlier memory of trying to "rescue" her father.

EMDR and the "Float Back" to Earlier Trauma

When Ina had a felt sense of this connection, it was a powerful experience for her.  As we continued to use EMDR to work on her earlier trauma related to her father, over time, she was able to work through the original childhood trauma that was getting triggered in her current life.

Once Ina was able to work through the original trauma, she was no longer affected by her early history, and she had healthier relationships.

I've used the EMDR "float back" technique with most EMDR clients and it usually becomes clear to clients how the original trauma is driving his or her current problems.  At that point, the client can work through the original trauma that acts like an emotional trigger in his or her current life and this helps to resolve both past and current problems.

EMDR and the Mind-Body Connection
When therapy clients are able to connect their current emotional experiences, including making the mind-body connection of where they feel these emotions in their bodies, it helps them to connect to earlier trauma related to current problems.

Often, there are multiple traumatic experiences that act as emotional triggers in the present.  EMDR is most effective when the EMDR therapist can get to the earliest experience.

Are You Struggling With Emotional Problems That You Don't Understand?
EMDR helps clients to get to earlier experiences that often remain unconscious during regular talk therapy.

Many clients are relieved to finally be able to make sense of their current problems and realize that they are rooted in earlier experiences.  They're even more relieved to have a way to work through these problems so they're no longer triggered in the present.

Getting Help in Therapy
Your early history doesn't have to keep repeating in your life.

Getting Help:  Your Early History Doesn't Have to Keep Repeating Itself in Your Life

EMDR therapy can help you to work through your past and present problems so that you can lead a more fulfilling life.

About Me:
I am a licensed NYC psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR and Somatic Experiencing therapist who works with individual adults and couples.

I have helped many therapy clients to overcome traumatic experiences so they can lead happier lives.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.