Getting Help in Therapy is a Sign of Strength--Not a Sign of Weakness

This article was updated as of September 16, 2026.

Getting help in therapy is a sign of personal strength.

Getting Help in Therapy is a Sign of Strength--Not Weakness

Seeking help is never a sign of weakness or defeat (see my article: Common Myths About Therapy: Going to Therapy Means You're "Weak").

Why Going to Therapy is a Sign of Personal Strength

When someone is ready to begin therapy, far from being a sign of weakness, going to therapy often requires courage to face difficult emotions, possibly confronting social or cultural stigma and making a commitment to change and personal strength.

A skilled psychotherapist can make the process more manageable by pacing the process to prevent emotional overwhelm.

Why is There a Stigma For Getting Help in Therapy?

Although it's more acceptable for people to get help in therapy these days, many people, who need help, are still afraid to seek help in therapy for a variety of reasons, including that they:

• Judge themselves harshly for needing help and feel ashamed.

• Believe they should just "get over" their problems.

• Believe they would be "self indulgent" or "too self centered" if they went to therapy.

• Believe only rich or famous people attend therapy.

• Think that only "crazy" people seek help in therapy

• Believe their problems are only in their imagination and not "real problems".

• Feel they don't deserve help.

• Believe that they must be "weak" if they need help.

• Believe they will have to remain in therapy for a long time to overcome their problems (see my article: Common Myths About Psychotherapy: Therapy Takes a Long Time).

• Worry about what their family and friends might think if they found out that they went to therapy.

• Believe the therapist will judge them.

• Don't know about Federal confidentiality laws, so they believe that their therapist might tell their employer or other people about what they discuss in therapy.

• Believe going to see a therapist means they're paying the therapist to be their "friend," which makes them feel ashamed because they believe a therapist couldn't actually care about them.

What Can You Do to Reduce Your Fear of Getting Help in Therapy?

To reduce your fear or concern, be aware:

• You're not alone.  There are skilled mental health professionals who can help undo your feelings of being alone.

• An experienced therapist has a lot of experience helping clients with similar problems to yours and she won't judge you for your problems.

• A licensed psychotherapist can't divulge your information under Federal law without your written consent--unless you're an active harm to yourself or others or you're engaging in child abuse (psychotherapists are mandated reporters and must report child abuse to the state).

• Seeking help in therapy doesn't mean you're "weak." On the contrary, it's a sign of courage and personal strength.

• Seeking help in therapy doesn't mean you're "crazy." Clients who are actively psychotic or delusional usually go to specialized programs--not to individual therapy--to get psychiatrically stabilized.

• Everyone needs help at some point in their lives and everyone is deserving of help.

• You can see a psychotherapist for an initial appointment to see if you feel comfortable with her and to obtain psychoeducation about that therapist works  and about therapy in general (see my article: Why It's Important for Psychotherapists to Provide Psychoeducation About How Therapy Works).

• You decide what your therapy goals are, so you're in charge of of therapy and you can go for as long as you want to go.

• Skilled psychotherapists are empathetic towards their clients' suffering.  You're not paying them to be your "friend."  You're paying them for their expertise and time.

Taking the First Step in Therapy: Making the Call

Most therapists offer a 10-15 minute phone call before setting up an appointment so you can ask basic questions.

I usually encourage new clients to think of the first appointment as a session to see if they feel comfortable with me, to ask more questions about how I work and to discuss other similar issues.

Rather than plunging into the depths of their problems, I encourage clients to discuss what they would like to get out of therapy in that first meeting. 

Of course, I'm open to hearing anything, but I find that speaking about their issues in a broad way, rather than diving into the details, helps clients to feel less emotionally vulnerable when we first meet.

After the first appointment, you can decide if you feel it's a good fit or at least good enough to have another appointment.

Get Help in Therapy

If you have been struggling on your own, you could benefit from working with a licensed mental health professional who has the experience and expertise you need.

Overcoming your problems can free you from your history so you can lead a more fulfilling life.

About Me

I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, IFS Parts Work Therapist, EFT Couples Therapist, Somatic Experiencing and Certified Sex Therapist.

I have helped many individual adults and couples over the years.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

I offer clients a free 10-15 minute phone call before setting up an appointment either in person or online.

I see clients in person in my office in Greenwich Village or online.

You can reach me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Also See My Articles:

Why Do People Go to Therapy?

How to Choose a Psychotherapist 

The Positive Ripple Effect

The Therapeutic Benefits of Integrative Therapy 

Fear of Change 

When You Shut Down Emotional Pain, You Also Shut Down Pleasure

This article was updated on September 15, 2026.

A profound consequence of leaving trauma untreated is emotional flattening. When people suppress painful experiences to cope, they inevitably trigger a psychological trade-off: shutting down emotional pain also shuts down potential pleasure. This protective barrier shields you from distress but simultaneously blocks your capacity for joy, intimacy, and satisfaction. Breaking this cycle of emotional numbness is often the primary goal of specialized trauma therapy. (Learn more in my article on the psychological cost of emotional numbing:  What Happens When You Numb Yourself Emotionally).

Emotional Numbing Shuts Down Pain and Pleasure

In addition, what many of people don't know is that a skilled trauma-informed psychotherapist knows how to help clients to develop the ability to expand their "window of tolerance" so they can work through their traumatic experiences in an emotionally-safe therapeutic environment (see my article: Expanding Your Window of Tolerance in Psychotherapy).

What is the Window of Tolerance?
In my prior article, I explained that, according to Dr. Dan Siegel, the window of tolerance is a term that refers to the optimal level of arousal or the optimal zone.

When clients are in their optimal level of tolerance, they are neither hyper-aroused nor hypo-aroused.  They are able to deal with problems as they come up because they're at their optimal level of arousal.

During times of extreme stress, if clients are experiencing hyperarousal, they're in the flight/flight mode, which includes hypervigilance, anxiety, racing thoughts and possibly panic. If they're experiencing hypoarousal, they're in the freeze mode, which includes emotional numbness, feelings of emptiness or emotional paralysis.

Fictional Clinical Vignette: When You Shut Down Emotional Pain, You Also Shut Down Potential Pleasure
The following fictional vignette illustrates how suppressing emotional pain also suppresses pleasure:

Rena
After Rena's mother died in a car accident, Rena would wake up each morning feeling that she had nothing to look forward to and she lacked purpose and meaning in her life.

She told her new psychotherapist that everything felt "blah" and no sooner did she wake up in the morning than she felt like hiding under the covers (see my article: Coping With the Loss of a Loved One: Complicated Grief).

She explained to her therapist that she didn't always feel this way.  For most of her life, she looked forward to the joy that each day would bring and she was able to take emotional challenges in stride.  But she was very close to her mother and after her mother died in a car accident, her grief was unbearable.

Rena realized that she had never experienced such raw sadness and anger before.  Her new psychotherapist explained to Rena how emotional numbing numbed joy as well as pain.  She recommended that they use EMDR therapy to help Rena overcome her trauma (see my article: How EMDR Therapy Works: EMDR and the Brain).

Over the next several months, as Rena worked with her therapist on the unresolved grief, her therapist titrated the work so that it was manageable for Rena.

Rena's psychotherapist worked in a way that was within Rena's window of tolerance so that, although Rena still felt very sad when she processed her grief, she didn't feel overwhelmed.

Gradually, Rena was able to expand her window of tolerance so that she could tolerate dealing with deeper levels of emotion without feeling overwhelmed.

Over time, Rena felt as if she was coming back to life again.  Although she continued to feel sad, she also had moments of happiness.  She felt like she was coming out of a period of time when everything felt gray.  Now, she was beginning to notice colors, nature, music--all the things she enjoyed in her life before her mother died.

She memorialized her mother by writing short stories about her from the time her mother was a young girl up until the time she died so unexpectedly.  This felt healing to Rena (see my article: Writing About Your Mother After Her Death).

Conclusion
Shutting down often occurs when people feel overwhelmed by emotion.  It starts as a protective defense mechanism.  Over time, it can develop into an emotional and physical numbing that shuts out pleasure as well as pain.

When this occurs, some people feel their life has no meaning.  The more they try to avoid feeling, the more exhausting it becomes to try to suppress their feelings.

There is no quick fix for overcoming an overwhelming traumatic event, but trauma therapy can help.

Getting Help in Therapy
While it's understandable that people who have experienced trauma want to protect themselves from feeling the emotional pain, avoiding feeling emotions only makes it worse.

A skilled trauma therapist knows how to work with trauma in a relatively manageable way.

This doesn't mean that there is no emotional pain involved, but an experienced trauma therapist can work in a way to minimize a client getting overwhelmed by working within the client's window of tolerance and helping the client to expand that window of tolerance (see my article: The Benefits of Psychotherapy and How to Choose a Psychotherapist).

If you're feeling stuck with unresolved trauma, you could benefit from seeking help from a licensed mental health professional who has an expertise in helping clients to overcome trauma.

Working through psychological trauma allows you to work through the emotional pain so that you can feel like yourself again and you can lead a more meaningful life.

About Me
I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, IFS and Somatic Experiencing and Certified Sex Therapist.

I am a trauma-informed psychotherapist who has helped many individual adults and couples over the years.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

I provide a free 15 minute phone call before setting up an appointment.

I see clients in my office in Greenwich Village in New York City and online.

You can reach me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.