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Practicing teamwork in your relationship is essential to developing and maintaining relationships (see my article: Relationships: Are You Pulling Together or Pulling Apart?).
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| Improving Your Relationship By Practicing Teamwork |
To practice teamwork, it's important for both you and your partner to feel you have each other's backs and you will tackle whatever issues come up together.
Focusing on being a team means you each give up some control and the need to be right all the time. It also means that you learn to compromise.
How to Practice Teamwork to Improve Your Relationship
The following dynamics are important to working together as a team in your relationship:
- A Willingness to Start By Looking at How You Might Be Contributing to Problems in the Relationship: Before you can become a team, you need to be aware of dynamics in your relationship that are not working. Instead of pointing your finger at your partner, focus on yourself first and think about how you might be able to change to improve your relationship. This means letting go of keeping score of your partner's mistakes and making a commitment to make changes in your attitude and behavior.
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| Improving Your Relationship By Practicing Teamwork |
- Trusting You Have Each Other's Backs and You're Willing to Compromise: You are two different people so, naturally, you're not going to feel the same way about everything, but when it comes to resolving problems, you can agree to work as a team to come up with a compromise. You're not focused on getting your way. Instead your focus is on coming up with the best possible compromise that you both can live with. This means you might not get everything you want, but your focus is on strengthening your relationship. If there are current trust issues, you're willing to work on these issues to strengthen your relationship (see my article: How to Build Trust and Connection in Your Relationship).
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- Coming Together to Focus on the Problem Instead of Blaming Each Other: When you approach problems as a team, you avoid blaming each other for the problems and, instead, you focus on the problems together. It means you and your partner approach difficult situations together to come up with potential solutions or compromises. This might include:
- Money issues (see my article: Arguing About Money)
- Family problems (see my article: What to Do If Your Partner and Your Parents Don't Get Along)
- Stress (see my article: Recognizing Signs That You Are Under Too Much Stress
- Emotional pressures
- Other issues
- Communicating in An Open, Honest and Respectful Manner: This includes:
- Active listening to your partner's perspective--even if it's different from your own
- Taking turns speaking without interrupting, judging or criticizing each other
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- Being clear about your own hopes and dreams for the relationship--even if it's different from your partner's hopes and dreams
- Emotionally validating each other's feelings--even if you disagree with your partner's perspective (see my article: How to Use Emotional Validation in Your Relationship)
- Establishing Common Goals (see my article: 10 Relationshp Goals That Can Make Your Relationship Stronger)
- Developing Clear Expectations: Once you have established common goals for the relationship, you need to discuss how you will accomplish these goals and get clear about each other's expectations with regard to each of your roles and responsibilities to avoid confusion and resentment.
- Celebrating Your Successes: When you have successfully taken a step towards accomplishing your goals, recognize and celebrate this success together.
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| Improving Your Relationship By Practicing Teamwork |
- Providing Emotional Support to Each Other: Practicing teamwork includes being each other's source of emotional support. You are each other's "rock" in good and challenging times (see my article: What Do You Need to Feel Closer to Your Partner?).
- Expressing Your Appreciation For Each Other: It's easy to take each other for granted especially if you have been together for a while. Take the time to express your appreciation to each other so you each feel valued and loved (see my article: The Importance of Expressing Gratitude To Your Partner).
- Making Time For Each Other: Scheduling quality time to spend together to have fun. This includes time for emotional and sexual intimacy (see my article: Try a Little Playfulness).
- Repairing Ruptures Between the Two of You Sooner Rather Than Later: When arguments or conflicts arise and you know you made a mistake or hurt your partner, be willing to apologize to repair the rupture between the two of you as quickly as possible. Certain ruptures might take a while to repair, but the sooner you address them, the more likely you will be to repair whatever hurt or angry feelings there might be without the growing resentment that often develops over time (see my articles: How to Deal With Resentment in Your Relationship and Stages of Forgiveness).
- Get Help in Couples Therapy: If you are unable to come together as a team, you could benefit from getting help in couples therapy to work on these issues. A skilled couples therapist can help you so you can have a more fulfilling relationship (see my article: What is Emotionally Focused Therapy For Couples?).
About Me
I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT (for couples), Somatic Experiencing and Sex Therapist.
I have over 20 years of experience working with individual adults and couples.
To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.
To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.
Also See My Articles:
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