Are You Concerned About Your Spouse's Depression?

As a psychotherapist, I receive calls from women who are concerned about their husband's depression. Often, they're calling because they don't know what to do or because their concern about their husband's depression has made them feel anxious, helpless or depressed themselves.

Are You Concerned About Your Spouse's Depression?

Of course, I also get calls from husbands about their wives, but I receive more calls from wives about their husbands.  In any case, this article applies to either depressed husbands or wives.

Sometimes, I meet with these concerned spouses because they've become so worried that they're not taking care of themselves.

What Can You Do If Your Spouse is Depressed?
Although every situation is different and there are no one size fits all answers to this problem, here are some suggestions that might help:

• Ask your husband's doctor to rule out any medical causes.  There are some illnesses, like Parkinson's and others, that cause depressed affect, so it's better to rule this out at the start than to assume that the depressive symptoms are solely psychological.

• Recognize that your husband has a mental health problem that can affect his ability to help himself and he might feel unmotivated, lethargic and, in some cases, too hopeless and helpless to get help.

• Be aware that depression in men often goes unrecognized because men frequently exhibit different symptoms than women, and also because many men are often in denial about their depression.  Men are more likely to talk about physical symptoms, like being "tired."  In many cases, men who are depressed exhibit symptoms of irritability, being withdrawn, or behaving in a hostile or aggressive manner.  Many men deny that they're depressed because they feel they have to be "strong" and that being depressed means that they're "weak." 

• Be aware that depression can affect a man's sexual desire and sexual performance.  Unfortunately, some antidepressant medications can also affect sexual desire, so you and your husband will need to speak with your doctor to find out which medications will not affect sexual desire.

• Try to be as patient as you can and don't personalize your spouse's problem.  If he's depressed, it's not something that he's doing on purpose to get you angry (although it can be very frustrating if he refuses to get help).

• Your husband's depression isn't anything that you will be able to "fix." You need to encourage your husband to get help from a licensed psychotherapist (see my article:  How to Choose a Psychotherapist).

• If you're husband is too depressed to get help on his own, contact a licensed mental health professional and schedule an appointment with him or her.  Then, go to the appointment with your spouse so you can provide information about your observations with regard to your husband's emotional state and behavior.

• Assure your husband that going to see a therapist doesn't mean he's "weak" (see my article:  Common Myths About Psychotherapy: Going to Therapy Means You're "Weak").

• Rather than pushing your husband, try to take an encouraging attitude with him.  
• If you husband talks about suicide, take this very seriously.  Don't brush it off.  You must alert your doctor or your husband's therapist to any talk about suicide immediately or if your husband has made an attempt to commit suicide, you must call 911.

Take Care of Yourself
Living with someone who is depressed, can be very emotionally and physically draining.  Make sure that you:

• Get plenty of rest
• Eat nutritious meals
• Exercise
• Maintain contact with your friends and family to get emotional support
• Start your own therapy if you feel overwhelmed or feel like you're getting anxious or depressed yourself 

Take Care of Yourself

Getting Help in Therapy to Overcome Depression
With the help of a licensed mental health professional, people who are depressed, can overcome depression.

Overcoming Depression

It's important to get help before depressive symptoms get worse so that your spouse will feel like himself again and both of you can have a sense of well being together.

About Me
I am a New York City licensed psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR and Somatic Experiencing therapist who works with individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me

How to Get "Unstuck" So You Can Free Yourself From Living in the Past

In my prior article, Getting Stuck in the Past and Dwelling on "What Could Have Been," I gave the example of a composite case to illustrate a common problem that many people have when they get stuck in the past and indulge themselves in fantasies about how wonderful life "could have been."  In this article, I'll show how therapy can help a client to overcome this problem and give some tips that I hope will be helpful.

Ann
At the point where we left off in my last article, Ann felt stuck emotionally as she pined for the life she fantasized that she could have had with Bill if only she hadn't ended their relationship several years before.

How to Get "Unstuck" So You Can Free Yourself From Living in the Past

Ann followed Bill's life on his Facebook page.   As she read about how happy he was, she regretted breaking up with him.  When she ended their relationship, she felt they each wanted different things in their lives.   But now that she was reading about how happy he was and how much fun he was having, she felt she made a mistake.  She compared her life to his and she felt her life was dull.

The worst part was seeing the pictures of Bill with his new girlfriend, which made Ann feel jealous and made her regret even more that she ended her relationship with him.  She knew that the more she looked at his Facebook page, the more unhappy she felt, but she couldn't stop herself.  It had become an obsession that she felt embarrassed about.

Since she was so focused on Bill, she wasn't giving herself a chance to get to know other men.  When she went out on dates, she compared her experience to the life she felt she could have had with Bill and each man came up short.

As further "proof" that she had made a mistake by breaking up with Bill and missed a chance to be happy, she thought about the relationships that didn't work out since she broke up with Bill.

On some level, Ann knew that she was making herself miserable, but she felt powerless to do anything about it, which is why she began therapy.

How to Get "Unstuck" So You Can Free Yourself From Living in the Past

In her therapy sessions, we worked on distinguishing her fantasies from the reality of her past experiences in her former relationship with Bill.

At the point where she broke up with him, she knew the relationship wasn't right for her. Ann was able to concede this in our sessions.  But she couldn't get over the feeling that his new girlfriend was "reaping the rewards" of a more mature, responsible Bill and that if Ann had only stuck it out, she would be happier now.  Ann was filled with regret about this.

We also talked about how someone's Facebook page isn't always a reliable source of information about how things are in his or her life.  Ann knew this in theory, but she felt sure that Bill and his new girlfriend really were having a wonderful life together--a life that she could have had with him if she hadn't  broken up with him.

Ann was aware, at least on an intellectual level, that if she was happier in her own life, she wouldn't be so focused on Bill.  Her obsession was a distraction and defense against taking responsibility for her own happiness as opposed to imagining what life could have/would have been with Bill.

Her obsession also kept her from looking at her own patterns for choosing men that resulted in unhappy relationships (see my article:  Learning to Make Better Choices in Romantic Relationships).

As Ann began focusing more on herself and less on her fantasies about Bill, she began to take steps to improve her own life.  This helped her to feel more empowered.

Since she was bored at work, she began a job search to find a job that would be more enriching.  Once she began the search, she discovered that her skills and experience were in demand, and she had her choice of several good jobs.

She also realized that she wanted to travel more, and her obsession with Bill had kept her from making plans.  So, she took a much needed vacation that she really enjoyed.

How to Get "Unstuck" So You Can Free Yourself From Living in the Past

In the meantime, she heard from a former college friend, who remained friends with Bill, that his life wasn't all that it seemed to be on social media.  Despite the happy photos that continued to appear on his Facebook page, he and his new girlfriend weren't getting along--for many of the same reasons that caused Ann to end her relationship with him.  He continued to have a hard time settling down and being responsible.  Ann also found out that he had mismanaged his business, and he was about to declare bankruptcy.

Although she was sorry to hear that Bill's life wasn't all that it seemed on Facebook, this new information from her friend was a wake up call for Ann and put to rest any illusions and fantasies that she had.

How to Get "Unstuck" So You  Can Free Yourself From Living in the Past

Once she was able to put her fantasies about Bill aside, she became more fully engaged in her own life.  She became more open about looking at her pattern of choosing men.  She also became more open with the men that she was meeting and stopped comparing them to fantasies.

As Ann became more involved in her own life, things began to improve for her.

Some Tips on Getting "Unstuck" to Free Yourself From Living in the Past:

• It's easy to get caught up in fantasies and remain tied to a past that no longer exists (and, possibly, never existed outside of your fantasies).  Living life in the present is harder.
• Staying focused on the past keeps you from making changes in the present.
• Remember that people's Facebook page often isn't a true reflection of what's really going on in their lives.
• Remember that your thoughts and feelings aren't "facts" and what you imagine to be true might not be the case.  Just because you believe something to be true doesn't make it true.
• If you find yourself obsessively dwelling on the past and telling yourself that you could have been happier in a relationship or situation from the past, rather than giving these thoughts more power, be as objective as you can and question your thoughts.  
• Ask yourself if these obsessive thoughts are serving another purpose--like keeping you from being proactive to make changes in your life or if you're punishing yourself with these thoughts.
• Ask yourself if you're remembering the past accurately or are you "rewriting history" to make it look better than it was in actuality.
• Talk to friends that know you well, listen to what they have to say and consider their perspective.
• If talking to friends doesn't help, consider getting help from a licensed mental health professional.

Getting Help in Therapy
As I mentioned in Part 1 of this topic, getting stuck in fantasies about the past is a common problem that many people have and it's often hard to see when you're in the middle of it.

A licensed mental health professional who has worked with clients on this issue can help you to free yourself so you're empowered to make changes in your life rather than dwelling on the past.

About Me
I'm a licensed NYC psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR and Somatic Experiencing therapist who works with individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website:  Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Getting Stuck in the Past and Dwelling on "What Could Have Been"

It's so easy to get stuck in the past with endless thoughts about "what could have been" and lose sight of "what is."  There are so many websites for reunions of all kinds, including classmates and sites to find former romantic partners (see my article:  Relationships: Romantic Reconnections).   It's no wonder that many people get stuck yearning for and idealizing how they think things "could have been" in their lives as opposed to dealing with how life is now.

Getting Stuck in the Past and Dwelling on "What Could Have Been"

Of course, there's nothing wrong with nostalgia and remembering good times.  These memories can help to get us through difficult times and remind us that there can still be good times ahead of us when we're dealing with current challenges.

The problem isn't about nostalgia.  The problem arises when people get stuck in fantasies about the past.

Let's take a look at some of the reasons why getting stuck in the past is a problem:

• Your heart and mind aren't as open to new experiences 
• Instead of creating new experiences, you're reliving and reinforcing the old ones in your head
• You can lose your enthusiasm for life
• Instead of feeling empowered to make things happen in your current life, you can feel helpless as you tell yourself that things will never be as good as before
• You're not taking responsibility for changing things that you're unhappy about now
• You lose sight of the fact that you're indulging in fantasies and fantasies are often better than reality ever might have been
• You're not growing and developing as a person
• Your identity can become diminished by your fantasies about "how wonderful life could have been...if only…"

The following vignette, which is a composite of many cases, illustrates why getting stuck in the past is problematic:

Ann

Ten years prior to coming to therapy, Ann ended her relationship with Bill because she realized, after seeing him during their last two years in college, that they both wanted very different things in life.

Whereas she wanted to move back to New York, get an apartment and start her career, he wanted to rent a van and travel all over the country, taking whatever jobs he found along the way.  She also realized that they had other fundamental differences that would have made a life together difficult.

For several months after the breakup, Bill continued to pursue Ann, contacting her from wherever he was and trying to persuade her to get back together.  But even though Ann still loved Bill and the breakup was hard for her too, she knew, at the time, that she made the right decision.  She wished Bill well and she started dating other men.

Ten years later, Ann had a successful career and she was doing well financially, but her relationships weren't working out.  After the last breakup, Ann found herself dwelling on memories of her time with Bill, especially when she was bored at work or home alone on the weekend.

It had been several years since she had heard from Bill directly, but she followed him on his Facebook page.  She knew from Facebook that he started his own tour company and he conducted tours all over the world.

The places were so exotic and colorful.  He seemed to be having a lot of fun, and Ann wondered if she had made a mistake in ending their relationship.  Since their breakup, there had been no one in her life as interesting and fun loving as Bill.

Getting Stuck in the Past and Dwelling on "What Could Have Been"

Just prior to coming to therapy, Ann found out on Facebook that Bill now had a new girlfriend.  She surprised herself with how jealous she felt, after all these years, about this new relationship.  But, it was undeniable--as she looked at their happy pictures online, she was becoming increasingly obsessed with Bill and found herself yearning for him and their days together.

Not only did Ann think about him during the day, but she also had dreams about him at night where they were back together and happy.

She couldn't understand what was happening to her.  Even though she knew she was torturing herself by continuing to look at his Facebook page, she couldn't stop herself--she felt like she needed to know (see my article:  Stalking Your Ex on Social Media).

Ann began feeling increasingly sad and disappointed about her own personal life.  Her friends introduced her to new men, but she never gave them a chance.  She compared each of them to the life she imagined she could have had with Bill and they all came up short.

Next Article:
In my next article, I'll continue this topic and discuss how Ann was helped in therapy to get unstuck.

Getting Help in Therapy
Getting stuck by dwelling on how good life "could have been"is a common problem that many people have.

Rather than remaining stuck, you can get help from a licensed mental health professional who can help you to understand why you're stuck and help you to get free so you can lead a more fulfilling life.

About Me
I am a licensed NYC psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR and Somatic Experiencing therapist who works with individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website:  Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

How Therapy Can Help You to Develop a New Perspective About Yourself and Others

In a prior article, Gaining a New Perspective in Therapy About Yourself and Others, I discussed how ingrained negative thoughts can impact the assumptions that you make about yourself and others.  I also discussed that therapy can help you to develop a new perspective.

In this article, I'll be expanding on these ideas and giving examples of how therapy can be helpful to overcome these problems.

Let's take a look at an example, which is, as always, a composite of many different cases:

Bob:
At the point when Bob came to therapy, he was having problems with his self esteem and forming new interpersonal relationships.

How Therapy Can Help You to Develop a New Perspective About Yourself and Others

Although he had a good career where he mostly worked on his own, he wasn't happy.  He came to therapy because he felt completely frustrated and wanted to learn how to develop better social skills.

Bob was in his late 20s and he was fairly isolated in his personal life. Although he dated occasionally, he had never been in a serious relationship.

He had a few friends from his college days when he was thrown together with other students at the dorm.  But these friends were in relationships now and he didn't see them as much as before, so Bob was pretty lonely.

He wanted to make new friends and have a girlfriend, but he didn't know how to go about forming anything other than superficial relationships in his personal life.

One of Bob's former college buddies, Andy, suggested that Bob begin therapy.

Although they rarely saw each other any more, they talked on the phone, and Bob used Andy as a sounding board. Andy helped Bob to see that his poor sense of self and his generally negative opinions about others were distorted.

Whenever Bob talked to Andy about a particular situation, he knew that what Andy told him made sense and he was able to develop a new perspective about the situation at hand.  But whenever Bob found himself in a new situation and he tried to deal with it on his own, he often misjudged the situation.  He recognized this in hindsight, but his recognition didn't carry over to the next situation.

As Bob talked to me about his family history, he recalled a chaotic household where his parents frequently argued and had little time for Bob.

Whenever he would try to talk to his parents about all the arguments they had with each other, they would deny that there were problems.  They would tell Bob that there was nothing wrong so that, over time, he came to mistrust his own judgment about what was going on.  He felt uneasy and confused.  He also didn't feel close to his parents, who remained preoccupied with themselves.

Bob grew up feeling uneasy around new people.  He was able to make a few friends in high school, but it was usually because other people made an effort to get to know him.

Bob did well in college academically and, once again, he made friends with students who sought him out.  He also dated a little, but he lacked confidence most of the time to ask women out on dates.

After he graduated, he developed a successful career.  Even though he felt awkward around his coworkers, created problems with forming work relationships, he had excellent technical skills.  So, his bosses tended to overlook his interpersonal shortcomings.

But trying to cope with his own lack of confidence and skittishness around others was becoming exhausting for Bob.  And, even though he made a lot of money, he wasn't happy.  He felt lonely and his life lacked meaning.

During the initial stage of therapy, Bob often seemed on the verge of leaving.  He knew, on an intellectual level, that it would take time to develop a rapport with me in therapy.  On an emotional level, he wondered if therapy was really going to help him and if he could trust me or any therapist.

Since Bob had never been in therapy before, I provided him with psychoeducation about therapy in general and, specifically, how I work as a therapist.

Over time, Bob started to get more comfortable in therapy and we began to explore the negative thoughts he had about himself and others.

Since he lacked trust in his own ability to understand what was going on interpersonal situations, he took a defensive stance and he assumed the worst about people as a way of protect himself emotionally.

Gradually, Bob was able to see the connection between his current life and his family history:  As a child, his family life was chaotic, his parents were emotionally neglectful with him.  Since he was unable to form an emotional bond in his earliest relationships with his parents, he had difficulty later on forming attachments with others.  And, since he was told constantly by his parents that nothing was wrong at home, he doubted his own perceptions.

There was no quick fix for these problems.  But, once Bob felt more comfortable with me and the psychotherapy process, we were able to use EMDR to work on the problems from his family history as well as the current situation.

We also used clinical hypnosis and Somatic Experiencing to help him to build a greater sense of self esteem.

After a while, as Bob developed more self confidence, he became less defensive about meeting new people and he began to socialize more easily.

How Therapy Can Help You Develop a New Perspective About Yourself and Others

Since he was feeling more comfortable around others, he no longer had the need to defensively see them in a negative light.  Therapy helped him to free himself from his history so that he was able to develop a new perspective about himself and others.

Getting Help in Therapy
If you're having problems with self doubt that impacts your interpersonal relationships, you can free yourself from your history by getting help from a licensed mental health professional who has expertise in this area.

About Me
I am a licensed NYC psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR and Somatic Experiencing therapist who works with individual adults and couples.

I have helped many clients to overcome their emotional problems so they could lead more fulfilling lives.

To find out more about me, visit my website:  Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Gaining a New Perspective in Therapy About Yourself and Others

Ingrained negative thoughts can impact how you see yourself and others.  When these thoughts are longstanding and unconscious, you can make assumptions about yourself and the world around you that aren't true.  Understanding and processing these thoughts in therapy can give you a new perspective and improve the quality of your life.  This is one of the many benefits of going to therapy.

Gaining a New Perspective in Therapy About Yourself and Others

Let's take a look at some common negative thoughts:

About Yourself:
"I'm unlovable and nobody cares about me."
"I hate the way I look."
"I'm stupid."
"I never do anything right."
"Nothing good ever happens in my life."
"Nothing is ever going to change in my life so why should I even try to change?"

About Others:
"I can't trust anyone."
"Nobody likes me."
"Everyone has it in for me."
"Nobody ever gives me a break."
"People look at me funny."
"People think I'm ugly."

I'm sure you can probably come up with many other examples, but the examples above are some of the most common ones.

The Effect of Ingrained Negative Thoughts
One of the major problems with ingrained negative thoughts is that people don't question them.  These thoughts are so much a part of their unconscious mind and often buried so deep that people make assumptions based on these thoughts without questioning these assumptions.

Gaining a New Perspective in Therapy About Yourself and Others: The Effect of Negative Thoughts

This can lead to many problems, including lifelong feelings of shame and doubt about themselves as well as missed opportunities in their personal lives and careers.

A Reality Check on a Distorted Perspective
For people who might have some idea that their perspective might be skewed, asking a friend can provide a reality check.

By getting a different perspective, they're often surprised that the assumptions they've made are mistaken.

Gaining a New Perspective in Therapy About Yourself and Others: A Reality Check

This can be very helpful in a particular situation, but for people who have an ingrained pattern of negative thinking, it often doesn't have a generalizable effect.  In other words, it can help with the situation at hand, but it might not help the next time it comes up or in another situation.

It also doesn't get to the root of the problem or help them to recognize what's causing them to think this way or, most importantly, how to change.

In a future article, I'll discuss more about how therapy can give you a new perspective about yourself and others.

Getting Help in Therapy
People who get help in therapy for negative thinking are often relieved to be able to let go of their negative assumptions about themselves and others.

They have an opportunity for a new and more positive perspective.  They also have a better possibility of understanding themselves and others.

They learn to feel better about themselves.  They also learn to have better relationships in their personal lives and in their careers.

If you feel that the way you think is having a negative impact on your life, you could benefit from working with a licensed mental health professional who has expertise with this problem.

Getting help in therapy could be the beginning of lifting a big burden off your shoulders.

About Me
I am a licensed NYC psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR and Somatic Experiencing therapist who works with individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website:  Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Also see my article:
Coping With Changes in How You See Yourself

Moving Past Your Regrets

Most adults have at least one major regret in their lives that they hold onto and feel unhappy about. Generally speaking, older people tend to be more unhappy about their regrets because they have less time to rectify what they regret or it might be too late for them.  But just holding onto regrets just makes you feel increasingly unhappy, so it's important to learn to let go and move past your regrets.

Moving Past Your Regrets

What are Some of the Most Common Regrets?
While there are many different kinds of regrets, some of the most common regrets tend to involve:

Relationship issues:

• Missing an opportunity to get to know someone who, in hindsight, turned out to be someone you would have wanted to know
• Leaving a romantic relationship too quickly
• Staying in a relationship too long
• Neglecting your relationship
• Contributing to the demise of a relationship due to infidelity

Family issues:

• Being estranged from family members
• Allowing arguments to fester and harden 
• Refusing to accept an apology
• Neglecting to spend enough time with family members

Career decisions:

• Spending more time at work and missing out on family time
• Working too much and missing out on having fun
• Taking a job solely for the money where there is no job satisfaction
• Quitting a job prematurely

Moving Past Your Regrets: Career and Financial Decisions

Financial issues:

• Overspending and running up credit cards to the point of ruining your credit
• Giving into immediate gratification and not saving enough money for the long term, like a house or an apartment or retirement (see my article:  Learn to Stop Overspending as a Way to Deal with Your Uncomfortable Feelings)
• Feeling buyer's remorse with regard to buying a house or any big purchases 

A Life Without Substance or Meaning:

• Neglecting to consider what's really meaningful to you (see my article: A Search for a Meaningful Life)
• Focusing mostly on short-term pleasure rather than contributing to the well-being of your loved ones, your community and yourself

Moving Past Your Regrets:  Developing a Meaningful Life

See my article:  Listening to Your Inner Voice to Discover Your "Calling" in Life.

Health issues:

• Neglecting and, possibly ruining, your health by not developing a health conscious lifestyle
• Procrastinating about important health issues

How to Move Past Your Regrets When You Can Make Changes:  

Take Action
It's important to take action whether it's external or internal.

So, for instance, if you and a family member are estranged because you severed ties with him or her, assess the situation and consider whether you can take steps to make amends.

You might try sending a carefully written letter or email expressing your regret, owning up to your mistakes, and asking for a reconciliation.  Then, you need to honor his or her response, including a refusal to accept your apology or a lack of response (see my article:  When Your Efforts to Make Amends Are Rejected).

Moving Past Your Regrets:  Taking Action

Another example is that if you've gained a lot of weight and it's starting to affect your health, rather than berating yourself, see your doctor and find out what she or he recommends so you can start to take better care of yourself.  Set reasonable goals for yourself (see my article: Achieving Your Goals: Learn to Celebrate Small Successes Along the Way to the Final Goal).

If you've spent most of your life pursuing trendy lifestyle choices, take some time to think about what's really important to you in the long run.  If your life, so far, has left you feeling spiritually and emotionally bankrupt, spend time journaling about your core values and how you can live your life so you honor those values (see my article:  Journal Writing Can Help to Relieve Stress and Anxiety).

Accept What You Can't Change
Let's face it:  There will be areas of your life that you regret that you won't be able to change for a variety of reasons.

There are many people who reach the end of their lives and they regret decisions they've made that are too late to change.

As a psychotherapist, I've heard many stories of people who, at the end of their lives, were unable to reconcile with estranged siblings or children.  This is one of the biggest emotional challenges to face when you're close to death.  And for those of us who are younger and healthier, it's a lesson to be learned:  Don't wait until it's too late.

But even if you're not at the end of your life, there will be things that you can't change and which you'll have to accept.

Consider the Lessons You've Learned
If you can make changes and avoid making the same mistakes in the future, that's great.

But even if you can't change what you regret, you can let go of it and realize that you probably learned a valuable lesson that can help you in other areas of your life.

Stop Berating Yourself, Forgive Yourself, and Accept that You're Human
Continuing to beat yourself up for things you did or didn't do won't change anything.  It just makes you feel worse.

Moving Past Your Regrets:  Practice Self Compassion and Learn to Forgive Yourself

A healthy dose of self compassion can go a long way to helping you towards acceptance, letting go, and moving past your regrets.

Getting Help in Therapy
Regret is a common reaction that many people struggle with throughout their lives.

Many people have a very hard time letting go of regrets that continue to haunt them.

Getting Help in Therapy

A licensed mental health practitioner, who has expertise in helping people to let go of regrets, can help you to make peace with yourself so you can develop a healthier sense of well being.

About Me
I am a licensed New York City psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR and Somatic Experiencing therapist who works with individual adults and couples.

I have helped many clients to let go of past regrets.

To find out more about me, visit my website:  Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Expanding Your Horizons While Traveling

In a prior article, Learning About Yourself While Traveling, I wrote that traveling can reveal how you react to new people, situations, and foreign customs when you travel.   It can also reveal how you deal with travel-related stressors.  

I talked about my own experiences while traveling in Costa Rica.  In this article about expanding your horizons while traveling, I'll discuss some of the other advantages of traveling, especially traveling abroad.

Expanding Your Horizons While Traveling

Getting Out of a Rut
The day-to-day routine can make life seem boring and uninspiring.

Traveling to another country gets you out of your daily routine and can put you into new and potentially exciting places.  When you get out of a rut, you're more likely to come up with new ways of looking at your life as well as life around you.  It can make you more creative.

Breaking Out of Your Comfort Zone
Staying in your comfort zone can make you feel safe, but it can also keep you stagnant (see my article: Moving Out of Your Comfort Zone).  When you travel, it's an opportunity to break out of your comfort zone and expose yourself to new and exciting ideas.

Expanding Your Horizons While Traveling:  Breaking Out of Your Comfort Zone

Building Confidence and Enhancing Your Ability to Deal With Challenges
Travel often comes with its challenges, including making travel arrangements for unfamiliar places, navigating new territories, communicating in foreign languages, coping with delays, and so on.  When you're able to  successfully overcome these challenges, it helps to build confidence in other areas of your life.

Finding Inspiration
When you immerse yourself in another culture, you can observe how other people live and interact with each other, which is often different from your usual environment back home.

Expanding Your Horizons While Traveling: Finding Inspiration

When you have new experiences, it can inspire your imagination so you look at things in new ways.

Enhancing Your Social Skills
Even if you tend to be shy, when you travel you're placed in situations where you often must communicate with others.

Expanding Your Horizons While Traveling:  Enhancing Your Social Skills

If you usually feel awkward when you communicate in social situations, you might be surprised at how much confidence you develop after a while.

Having Fun While Traveling
When you open yourself up to new experiences while you're away, you also open yourself up to having fun (see my article: Being Open to New Experiences).

Having fun can help to improve your mood and reduce stress.

So, have fun and happy travels!


About Me
I am a licensed NYC psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR and Somatic Experiencing therapist who works with individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website:  Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.