Relationships: Your Ex, Who Abandoned You, Wants to "Start Over"

Being abandoned by someone you love deeply is one of the most painful experiences that anyone can go through.  It can be debilitating on every level--emotionally, physically, and spiritually.  It can cause you to feel you're "not good enough" and "not lovable."  Many people often feel ashamed about being left, especially because it can trigger earlier abandonment issues from childhood.

Your Ex Wants to Start Over

The Road to Emotional Recovery
When you've been abandoned by someone you loved and trusted, the road to recovery can be long and arduous, especially if you were in a long term relationship with this person.  As human beings, we're hard wired for emotional bonding and attachment, not for loss.

What often makes it worse is that well-meaning people might try to encourage you to "just get over it" and "move on," but it's just not possible to wave a magic wand to erase the emotional pain involved with this type of major loss.  You need time and space to grieve.  And, yet, life goes on.  You still need to get up every day, although it might take a lot of effort just to do that, and take care of your responsibilities.   You might wonder how you'll get through the day or even the next minute without falling apart.

Step by step, with the support of loved ones who understand you and your loss, you work to put the pieces of your shattered heart and your life back together again.  Gradually, the pain begins to lift until you begin to feel a sense of hope again.  You realize that you're now having moments when you feel lighter.  You're not completely recovered, but you're not where you were when your spouse or partner left.

What to Do If Your Ex Wants to "Start Over"?
Over time, you're starting to feel better about yourself and the world around you.  Then, suddenly, the unthinkable happens:  Your ex, who abandoned you, returns and he or she wants to "start over" again.  Once again, your world can get turned upside down.

If your second reaction, after the initial shock, is anger, you're in good company.  This is a common and understandable reaction in this situation.  But shock and anger can't be the basis for making a decision about whether to start over with your ex.  You need to stop, think and sort out your feelings before you make any hasty decisions.

No one can tell you what's right for you.  For many people, who were left by an ex, the answer to "starting over" would be a resounding "No!" and they would send their ex packing with Donna Summer's song, "I Will Survive" playing in the background.  But for many other people, including possibly you, the answer might not be so clear.   You might feel confused by a lot of mixed feelings.    This is also a common reaction.

But there are a few questions you can ask yourself that might help you to decide if you want to open your heart and allow your ex to return:

What has changed?

Your ex's apology and just saying you're going to "start over" doesn't automatically resolve whatever issues caused your ex to abandon the relationship or whatever problems you might have had before.  Be honest with yourself. What has changed?  Even if your ex had an epiphany about his or her behavior, will this realization alone be enough to prevent your ex from abandoning you again?  Wanting to change and actually being able to change are two different things.  And if not much has changed, can you endure going through the same kind of heartbreak again if your ex walks out of the relationship again?

How do you feel about yourself when you think about getting back into a relationship with your ex?

It's important to start with this question rather than how you feel about your ex.  Whether you're angry, sad, hurt, happy or glad that your ex wants to get back together again, pay attention to your gut feelings about this.  Aside from your initial feelings about making up, which can be exciting and sexy at first, what's your sense about what the relationship will be like for you after this initial stage?  

How do you feel about him or her?
During your healing process, your feelings might have changed about your ex and, possibly, about what you want from a romantic partner or relationship in general.  Aside from the anger and hurt, if you can look at your ex objectively, what are your feelings about being back in a relationship with your ex?  If you're still in love with your ex, put those emotions aside for the time being and assess what you think is best for you.

What was your part in the breakup?
This can be one of the hardest things to consider.  But whether you take your ex back or not, this is an important question to ask yourself because you don't want to repeat the same mistakes, whether it's with your ex or someone new.

Taking responsibility for your part in the breakup, even though it was your ex who walked out, is important for your own personal development.  This doesn't mean that you blame yourself for all of your ex's problems or all the problems in the relationship--just your part.  It also doesn't mean that you allow guilt to influence your decision.  Are there things you'd like to change about yourself?  If so, how do you plan to go about making these changes?

Take Your Time
If you have mixed feelings about getting back with your ex, take your time to consider your decision carefully.  Only you know how difficult it was to go through the breakup and what it took to get to the other side of this emotional crisis.  There are emotional risks in taking back your ex, especially if he or she has abandoned the relationship more than once.  Don't allow your ex's sense of urgency to cause you to make a hasty decision.

Also, be aware that loneliness and a fear that you might not meet anyone new could cloud your decision.  This isn't about settling out of fear.   It's about making the best possible decision for yourself based on what you know in your gut.

Getting Help in Therapy
Friends and family can be helpful in this process, but they might already have their own strong opinions about your ex and your former relationship.  You might find yourself either defending your ex if your loved ones try to convince you not to go back or defending your feelings about not going back if they're urging you to go back.

In this type of situation, there are usually few people who are close to you who can be truly objective.  So, it can be helpful to see a licensed mental health professional, who is objective and can help you sort through all of your feelings about whether or not to take your ex back without having to defend any particular feelings and without feeling ashamed of your feelings.  If you're unsure about what to do and you have mixed feelings about your ex, you owe this to yourself to put yourself first and get the help you need.

About Me

I am a licensed NYC psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR and Somatic Experiencing therapist.

To find out more about me, visit my website:  Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist

I work with individual adults and couples.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Should You Stay or Should You Leave Your Relationship?

When you're in a relationship, one of the most difficult decisions you might have to make is whether you should stay or go.

Should You Stay or Should You Leave Your Relationship?

Every relationship has its ups and downs. It's not unusual to go through rough patches, especially in the course of a long-term relationship. 

 Many couples weather these rough patches and their relationships are ultimately strengthened for having gone through a difficult time in an otherwise good and stable relationship. 

 But there are times when it's not always so clear whether the emotionally healthy response is to persevere in the relationship or whether it's time to leave. This dilemma might be further complicated by whether the couple has small children, particular religious views, complicated economic factors or an overall ambivalence about the relationship.

No One Knows Better than You What It's Like to Be in Your Relationship

Of course, no one can tell you what's right for you. Well-meaning friends and family members might give advice but, ultimately, no one really knows what it's like for you to be in your relationship, except you. 

There are certain circumstances where it's clear that you need to leave. For instance, if either you or your children are in danger due to domestic violence, you have a right and responsibility to protect yourself and your children from harm. But many other problems in relationships aren't so clear.

Dealing with Infidelity

When there have been serious breaches in trust, it's often hard to know if trust and confidence in the relationship can be restored. 

For instance, when one or both people have cheated, this usually does significant damage to the relationship. Some couples are able to work through this problem, but many others don't. Another complicated problem is when there have been lies or manipulation about money. 

 How do you know if your partner will change? Can you forgive him or her over time or will there always be doubt, worry, and anger that it could happen again. These aren't easy questions to answer.

See my article:  Coping with Infidelity

Are You Afraid to Be Alone?

Are you afraid to be alone and, if so, how much of a factor is this in your decision to stay or leave the relationship? Are you afraid of being lonely? Do you have doubts that you'll ever meet anyone else again and you'll be alone forever? How much is a possible lack of self confidence factoring into your decision process?

Are You and Your Spouse Drifting Apart in Your Relationship?

Over the course of a long-term relationship, many people start to drift apart. They might be living in the same household, but they're emotionally disengaged. A certain amount of denial may have set in where one or both people avoid dealing with this problem. Over time, this experience can leave you feeling empty and emotionally unfulfilled. Is it possible to revive your relationship? Are you and your spouse both willing to try? Or has this situation eroded the relationship to the point where it can no longer be revived?

An Emotional Dilemma

It's impossible to raise all the possible problems and questions in one blog post that might be a part of your decision as to whether you should stay or leave your relationship. One important thing to realize is that you're not alone in your emotional dilemma. Many people have faced this challenging and heart breaking problem in their relationships.

Getting Help in Therapy

Getting help, sooner rather than later, can make a significant difference to you and your partner. Working with a couples counselor that you both feel comfortable with often helps. The couples counselor can't tell you what to do, but a skilled couples counselor can facilitate the communication process so that you can either work through your problems, if they're workable, or separate in the most amicable way possible..

What if your spouse refuses to participate in couples counseling? It's not unusual for one person to be willing and the other person to refuse. 

 The decision to start couples counseling isn't easy, and the thought of talking to a stranger about intimate problems can be daunting. 

If your spouse is unwilling to even come to a consultation with a couples counselor, you can seek help on your own. 

 In fact, many people seek help in individual therapy because they want to try to figure out for themselves first how they feel before they begin couples counseling. For other couples where the dynamic between them is so heated and contentious, they each need to go to individual therapy for a period of time because nothing productive can be accomplished together in couples counseling.

Taking the First Step 

Taking the first step is often the hardest part. 

Couples counseling or individual psychotherapy is a commitment and this often scares people off from taking that first step to get help. But rather than getting overwhelmed before you start, you can set up a consultation without any obligation to continue if you and/or your partner don't want to continue. 

You might consider meeting with a couple of therapists to see which one feels most comfortable to work with on your relationship issues. The important thing is to take the first step.

About Me

I am a licensed NYC psychotherapist who works with individuals and couples. I have helped many people, both individuals and couples, to work through problems in their relationships.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Also see my article:  Are You Too Afraid to Leave an Unhappy Relationship?

Falling In Love with "Mr. Wrong" Over and Over Again

The title of this blog post could easily have been "Falling In Love with Ms. Wrong Over and Over Again."

Falling In Love with "Mr. Wrong" Over and Over Again

A Recurring Pattern of Choosing "Mr Wrong" or "Ms. Wrong"
Whether you are a heterosexual man or woman, bisexual, or gay, the pattern is often the same: You leave a relationship where you feel you've been mistreated (or that person leaves you). You vow not to get into another relationship like that again.

Some time goes by. Then, you meet someone new and it's love at first sight again. You're "head over heels" about this person. You go out for a while. Everything seems wonderful at first. Then, gradually, over time, the same pattern emerges.

Falling In Love with "Mr. Wrong" Over and Over Again

After a while, you find yourself wondering how you ended up choosing someone with the same problems as the last person. The relationship ends. You feel disappointed in yourself and very reluctant to meet someone new. After that, you take some time to yourself. Then, you meet someone new that you think is wonderful, and the pattern begins again.

It's not unusual for men and women to begin psychotherapy to find out why they keep falling in love with people who are not right for them. Usually, people come to therapy after they've gone through several cycles of the pattern that I described above. At that point, many people don't trust themselves to enter into another relationship because they're afraid that it will be another disaster. The problem is that they don't want to be alone either, so they're stuck between wanting to have someone special in their lives and being too afraid to open their hearts again.

Why Do People Keep Falling In Love with "Mr. Wrong" or "Ms. Wrong"?
Choosing a partner can be complicated, especially if you grew up in a dysfunctional family. There are so many unconscious feelings that are operating just under the surface when you feel attracted to someone. Often, these unconscious feelings affect your ability to choose someone who is right for you. If you have a pattern of choosing people who are wrong for you, you're probably repeating old patterns from your family of origin without even realizing it.

The following vignette which, as always, is a composite of many different cases with all identifying information changed to protect confidentiality, illustrates how someone continues to repeat the same pattern of falling in love with people who are wrong for her:

Marla:
When Marla began psychotherapy, she had just gone through the most painful breakup of her life. She met Neil at a friend's party. She noticed him immediately from across the room and he was already looking at her. She felt an instant "rush" and attraction before she even talked to him. They began dating shortly afterwards, and Marla fell in love with Neil very quickly. She felt that he was so kind and considerate, so much nicer than any man she had ever been in a relationship with before. All the other men in her life had cheated on her and those relationships ended in disaster.

Falling In Love with "Mr. Wrong" Over and Over Again

She felt this relationship was different. This time, Marla felt that she had met "Mr. Right." Neil was so sensitive to her needs, so attentive to her, not like the other narcissistic men she had been with before who cheated on her. She and Neil also had similar values, and sex between them was very passionate.

Within a couple of months, Neil moved in with her. She said they were both very excited about taking their relationship to the next level. Everything was wonderful at first, according to Marla. They spent all of their free time together and had lots of fun. She had never felt so loved before.

Falling In Love with "Mr. Wrong" Over and Over Again

Then, suddenly, things changed: Neil began spending a lot of time at the office. He said he had critical deadlines that he had to meet. Marla was very understanding at first. But when Neil said he had to start working weekends too, Marla was disappointed because they were hardly spending any time together any more. Even when Neil was home, he was tired, irritable and emotionally distant. He blamed it on his work. Marla missed being close to Neil and the good times they had together.

Falling In Love with "Mr. Wrong" Over and Over Again

One day, Marla tried reaching Neil on his cellphone on a Saturday afternoon when he said he was at work. The call went directly to voicemail, so she tried him at his work number. But he didn't answer that phone either, and that call went to voicemail too. Since the office was not far from their apartment, she decided to go there to surprise him with a picnic basket for lunch. She missed him and she thought it would be a good way for them to spend some time together for an hour or so. But when she got to the office, the security guard told her that no one had gone up to Neil's floor all day. Marla thought there must be some mistake, so the security guard accompanied her to the floor and she saw for herself that the office was locked and lights were out.

Marla walked home slowly, feeling dejected and with a growing sense of unease. She tried Neil a few more times on his cellphone, but her calls continued to go to voicemail. She waited for Neil to come home that night. When he got home, he seemed very preoccupied and emotionally distant. He said he was tired and just wanted to go to sleep.

Marla wasn't sure how to talk to him about the fact that she went to his office and he wasn't there. But she summoned her courage and broached the subject with him. Neil had his back turned towards her at first, but when he heard her words, he whirled around and began shouting at her, "Are you checking up on me!?!"

Marla was very startled by his reaction. She had never seen Neil lose his temper. Before she knew it, she was on the defensive, trying to reassure Neil that she was not checking up on him, that she had only gone to his office to surprise him with a picnic lunch. But he was so angry that he refused to talk or even listen to her. He gathered a few articles of clothing in a hurry and stormed out of the apartment, leaving Marla in tears. He didn't even tell her where he was going or when he would be back.

Marla's head was spinning. She couldn't understand what had just happened. Then, she noticed that Neil had left his cellphone behind. Part of her didn't want to invade Neil's privacy by looking at his phone, but a bigger part of her wanted some answers. So, she looked at the phone and, to her shock and dismay, she found several sexually explicit text messages from another woman and Neil's equally explicit responses to this woman.

Marla felt like she could hardly breathe, but she felt determined now. After she read the text messages, she decided to check his email. She had never known before that his email was password protected. After a few tries, she figured out the password and got into Neil's account. She was heart broken to find dozens of sexually explicit emails to and from several other women, including nude photos of these women and emails making arrangements to meet at hotels during the same times that he had told Marla that he was at work.

All Marla could think at that time was, "Not again. I can't believe this is happening to me again." Every other man that she had ever dated cheated on her. It was the same pattern over and over again. In the past, there were some obvious signs that these other men were "ladies' men." Marla thought she could change each one of them. But it never worked. After several experiences like this, whenever she met a man where there were obvious signs that he cheated, she stayed away. But she thought Neil was different. He had been so kind and attentive to her. She felt like she was in a nightmare and kept hoping she would wake up.

All that night, Marla cried and tossed and turned. She couldn't sleep. She couldn't believe that Neil turned out to be like her other boyfriends. And the worst part was that all of them were just like her father. When she was growing up, she vowed to herself that she would never be like her mother, who passively put up with the father's numerous affairs. But here she was again, back in the same situation.

When Neil came back the next night, Marla felt desperate to talk to him. Even though her rational mind knew that he was cheating on her, she still hoped that he would say something that would make all of this go away. But Neil behaved as if he was the one who was betrayed. He said he could never forgive her for invading his privacy and he was through with her. Once again, Marla found herself on the defensive. She knew that she shouldn't have looked at Neil's text messages and his emails and she acknowledged this to him, but she felt that he also owed her a big explanation about his behavior. Neil refused to talk to her. He just gathered more things and, despite Marla's pleading with him, he left again.

Falling In Love with "Mr. Wrong" Over and Over Again

When Marla came home from work the next day, all of Neil's things were gone. It was obvious that he came during the day while she was out and took all of his belongings. He didn't even leave a note to say good bye. All he left was the apartment key on Marla's dresser. There was no other sign of him in the apartment. It was as if he had never been there. He never returned any of her calls. She waited for him outside his office building, but she never saw him. A couple of weeks later, when she tried to reach him on his cellphone, she got a message that the number was disconnected. And she never heard from him again. When she phoned the friend who had the party where she met Neil, her friend was very sympathetic, but she told Marla that she didn't know Neil well, she had not heard from him since that party, and she didn't know his whereabouts. When Marla called his friends and family, she was shocked that all of them said that they didn't know where he was.

By the time Marla came to therapy to sort everything out, she was at a very low point. She told me that she had gone through bad breakups before, but this was the worst by far. She just couldn't believe this was happening. She also couldn't understand how Neil went from being so kind and loving towards her to cheating on her and freezing her out of his life. She came away feeling that, since she had been in so many relationships where men cheated on her, somehow, it must be her fault. She thought, "Maybe I'm doing something that causes men to cheat on me."

With the help of once-a-week psychotherapy and the emotional support of her friends, Marla began picking up the pieces of her life again. Over time, she realized that she had not done anything to actively cause Neil or the other men to be unfaithful to her. She began to realize that, even though she never wanted to be with a man like her father, unconsciously, she kept choosing the same "Mr. Wrong" who was so much like her father.

It was true that, by the time she met Neil, she had gotten better at not choosing men who were obvious "ladies' men." But her unconsicous mind could still get attracted to a man from across the room who was a not-so-obvious "ladie's man."

This is an interesting phenomenon that occurs to many people with the unconscious mind. It's not only about infidelity. Instead of infidelity, you could also see this same unconscious process happen with regard to alcoholism, domestic violence, people who have problems making a commitment, and so on. It doesn't matter what the particular issue is, the unconscious mind often works in the same way to cause you to feel instantly attracted to "Mr. Wrong" or "Ms. Wrong."

How Does the Unconscious Mind Keep Choosing "Mr. Wrong" or "Ms. Wrong" Over and Over Again?
You might ask, "How could the unconscious mind know, without even talking to someone, that you're choosing the same type of person?" I don't think anyone knows for sure. But I've seen it happen countless times. Somehow, the unconscious mind picks up the nonverbal signals. Some people call it "a vibe." Whatever you call it, it's a common occurrence.

In Marla's case, at that point in her life, if her unconscious mind could talk, it would have said, "There he is! I'm really drawn to him. I must meet him. This time it'll be different. I'll change him." But, more often than not, the person in Marla's shoes doesn't change someone like Neil. What usually happens is that things seem wonderful at first. That heady in love feeling can sometimes cause us to lose our sense of discernment and good judgment. Also, people who engage in infidelity are often good at hiding what they do. Maybe they'll even be faithful for a while but, sooner or later, if they don't get psychological help, they usually go back to their old ways.

It's not that they're "bad people"--they're usually repeating their own old unconscious patterns too. So, the two of you come together in such a way that your unconscious patterns mesh in a dysfunctional way.  It took a while before Marla was able to feel emotionally safe enough to start dating again. We did a lot of family of origin work, and Marla learned to make the emotional connection between 1) her childhood trauma of being with a father who was usually unfaithful and often seemed on the verge of leaving the family for another woman, and 2) the unfaithful men that Marla was choosing as partners who engaged in the same patterns as her father.

Marla also needed to do a fair amount of grief work to work through her childhood trauma related to her father so that she wouldn't continue to repeat this pattern in her adult life.

We also spent a lot of time exploring her pattern of falling in love with "Mr. Wrong." It was a gradual process. She learned to take her time to get to know new men in her life. In addition to seeing the problem signs with new people, she also learned to recognize her own internal cues, especially if she felt that someone was immediately very compelling to her when she first met him. At first, she was afraid that she would be relegated to having only "dull" relationships because the heady feeling was missing. But, gradually, she learned not to go for the big, immediate emotional "rush." She learned to get to know men over time and not to get into a committed relationship before she knew a man well.

When she finally met a new man that she really liked, she was a little disappointed at first that she was not "head over heels" immediately. She missed that feeling. But she also knew that the immediate "head over heels" feeling had gotten her into trouble every single time. As she got to know this new man, Steven, her feelings for him deepened over time. By the time, they decided to move in together a year later, she experienced a deep, mature love that she had never felt before. She also felt confident that Steven was someone that she could trust and, over time, this turned out to be true.

Getting Help in Therapy
If you find yourself continually choosing partners who are not right for you and you don't understand why this continues to happen over and over again, you could benefit from working with a licensed psychotherapist who has experience in this area.

It is possible to make healthier relationship choices for yourself if you are committed to doing the work in psychotherapy.

About Me
I am a licensed New York City psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, AEDP, EMDR,  Somatic Experiencing and Sex Therapist who works with individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

The Breakup: When the Need for Closure Turns into Harassment

Breaking up is almost never easy, especially for the person who wants to reconcile the relationship. For many people, there are times when the breakup of their relationship comes as a shock. For those people, who thought their relationship was going well, when they hear their spouses or partners tell them that it's over, the words land on them like a ton of bricks. It seems incomprehensible and unreal--as if they're stuck in a nightmare.

The Breakup: When the Need For Closure Turns into Harassment 

Years later, in hindsight, some people say that there were signs all along that the relationship was not gong well, but they were in denial and didn't see it. 

Many others, even with the benefit of hindsight, say there were no signs that their partners were unhappy. Either way, the end of a relationship can be traumatic, even when it's mutual. 

But when it's not a mutual decision, the person who wants to continue in the relationship often feels abandoned and wants very much to understand what happened and have a sense of closure about the breakup. 

However, the need for closure, especially when the partner who is leaving is not open to further discussion, sometimes leads to desperate attempts (by the partner being left) for a discussion, an explanation, maybe there's even some attempts at bargaining that they'll change whatever the other partner didn't like.

But how do you do you know when you've crossed the line from a need for closure into a form of harassment?

The following is a list of signs that you (or your partner) have crossed the line and are engaging in harassment. There are countless other forms of behavior that would be considered harassment, so this list gives you an idea, but it's not exhaustive:

• Making endless calls and leaving numerous voicemail messages to your former partner, after s/he told you not to call any more
• Showing up at your ex's house uninvited (and unwanted) after the breakup to discuss, plead, or argue
• Calling your ex at his/her job numerous times after you've been asked to stop
• Showing up at your ex's workplace uninvited (and unwanted) after the breakup
• Waiting around at places that you know your ex typically frequents in an effort to see your ex or talk when you know your ex doesn't want you there
• Sending numerous email messages either begging, threatening or arguing about the breakup
• Threatening to reveal information about your ex to your ex's family, employer, friends or others that you know would be embarrassing, jeopardizing your ex's job or other relationships
• Divulging confidential information that you know will be harmful to your ex or talking badly about your ex to people who could use the information against your ex
• Running up credit cards that are in your former partner's name as a form of retaliation for the breakup
• Damaging your ex's property (this can involve his/her car, home or other possessions)
• Stalking or following your ex, your ex's family, friends or new partner
• Calling your ex's relatives, friends, employer or new partner as a form of retaliation
• Making false police reports against your ex (e.g., making a false report of domestic violence)
• Making false reports of child abuse regarding your ex to the local bureau of child welfare

Needless to say, any form of violence towards your ex, your ex's family, friends or new partner is considered an assault and it's a crime.

You should be aware that many of the items on the above list are legally actionable, your ex can file a police report against you and, possibly obtain an order of protection. In some cases, you might be arrested, especially if you persist.

Although breaking up is almost never easy, the vast majority of people eventually grieve the loss, accept the breakup and don't engage in harassing behavior. After a period of time and, sometimes, with the help of psychotherapy, most people heal from the heart break and move on with their lives.

But for some people, the breakup can trigger strong emotions, often, of unresolved feelings of abandonment from their family of origin. When this occurs, the anger and sadness can be intense and overwhelming to bear. But this is never an excuse to harass your ex or people close to your ex.

Getting Help in Therapy

If you find that you're stuck in an obsessive cycle of angry thoughts or compulsive or harassing behaviors related to your breakup, you should seek the help of a licensed mental health professional before it's too late. 

Most experienced psychotherapists have dealt with these issues before, and you don't need to feel embarrassed to seek help.

About Me

I am a licensed New York City psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR and Somatic Experiencing therapist.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.