Getting Help in Therapy is a Sign of Strength--Not a Sign of Weakness

Getting help in therapy is a sign of personal strength.  

Going to Therapy is a Sign of Strength

Seeking help is never a sign of weakness or defeat (see my article: Common Myths About Therapy: Going to Therapy Means You're "Weak").

Why Going to Therapy is a Sign of Personal Strength

When someone is ready to begin therapy, far from being a sign of weakness, going to therapy often requires courage to face difficult emotions, possibly confronting social or cultural stigma and making a commitment to change and personal strength.

Going to Therapy of Sign of Strength

A skilled psychotherapist can make the process more manageable by pacing the process to prevent emotional overwhelm.

Why is There a Stigma For Getting Help in Therapy?

Although it's more acceptable for people to get help in therapy these days, many people, who need help, are still afraid to seek help in therapy for a variety of reasons, including that they:

• Judge themselves harshly for needing help and feel ashamed.

• Believe they should just "get over" their problems.

• Believe they would be "self indulgent" or "too self centered" if they went to therapy.

• Believe only rich or famous people attend therapy.

• Think that only "crazy" people seek help in therapy

• Believe their problems are only in their imagination and not "real problems".

Going to Therapy is a Sign of Strength

• Feel they don't deserve help.

• Believe that they must be "weak" if they need help.

• Believe they will have to remain in therapy for a long time to overcome their problems (see my article: Common Myths About Psychotherapy: Therapy Takes a Long Time).

• Worry about what their family and friends might think if they found out that they went to therapy.

• Believe the therapist will judge them.

• Don't know about Federal confidentiality laws, so they believe that their therapist might tell their employer or other people about what they discuss in therapy.

• Believe going to see a therapist means they're paying the therapist to be their "friend," which makes them feel ashamed because they believe a therapist couldn't actually care about them.

What Can You Do to Reduce Your Fear of Getting Help in Therapy?

To reduce your fear or concern, be aware:

• You're not alone.  There are skilled mental health professionals who can help undo your feelings of being alone.

Going to Therapy is a Sign of Strength

• An experienced therapist has a lot of experience helping clients with similar problems to yours and she won't judge you for your problems.

• A licensed psychotherapist can't divulge your information under Federal law without your written consent--unless you're an active harm to yourself or others or you're engaging in child abuse (psychotherapists are mandated reporters and must report child abuse to the state).

• Seeking help in therapy doesn't mean you're "weak." On the contrary, it's a sign of courage and personal strength.

• Seeking help in therapy doesn't mean you're "crazy." Clients who are actively psychotic or delusional usually go to specialized programs--not to individual therapy--to get psychiatrically stabilized.

• Everyone needs help at some point in their lives and everyone is deserving of help.

• You can see a psychotherapist for an initial appointment to see if you feel comfortable with her and to obtain psychoeducation about that therapist works  and about therapy in general (see my article: Why It's Important for Psychotherapists to Provide Psychoeducation About How Therapy Works).

• You decide what your therapy goals are, so you're in charge of of therapy and you can go for as long as you want to go.

• Skilled psychotherapists are empathetic towards their clients' suffering.  You're not paying them to be your "friend."  You're paying them for their expertise and time.

Taking the First Step in Therapy: Making the Call

Most therapists offer a 10-15 minute phone call before setting up an appointment so you can ask basic questions.

Going to Therapy is a Sign of Strength

I usually encourage new clients to think of the first appointment as a session to see if they feel comfortable with me, to ask more questions about how I work and to discuss other similar issues.

Rather than plunging into the depths of their problems, I encourage clients to discuss what they would like to get out of therapy in that first meeting. 

Of course, I'm open to hearing anything, but I find that speaking about their issues in a broad way, rather than diving into the details, helps clients to feel less emotionally vulnerable when we first meet.

After the first appointment, you can decide if you feel it's a good fit or at least good enough to have another appointment.

Get Help in Therapy

If you have been struggling on your own, you could benefit from working with a licensed mental health professional who has the experience and expertise you need.

Get Help in Therapy

Overcoming your problems can free you from your history so you can lead a more fulfilling life.

About Me

I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, IFS Parts Work Therapist, EFT Couples Therapist, Somatic Experiencing and Certified Sex Therapist.

I have helped many individual adults and couples over the years.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

I offer clients a free 10-15 minute phone call before setting up an appointment either in person or online.

You can reach me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Also See My Articles:

Why Do People Go to Therapy?

How to Choose a Psychotherapist 

The Positive Ripple Effect

The Therapeutic Benefits of Integrative Therapy 

Fear of Change 

Starting Therapy With a Sense of Curiosity and Openness

"Try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language." Rainer Maria Rilke

In a prior article, I discussed How to Choose a Therapist and gave some tips on choosing a psychotherapist who is best for you.

A Sense of Openness and Curiosity in Therapy
In this article, I'm focusing on a healthy way to approach therapy.

People who are considering therapy, who have never been in therapy before, often ask me how they should approach this personal exploration, and I usually respond by suggesting that they start therapy with a sense of curiosity and openness.

Many people have concerns about whether they're ready for therapy, what it will be like and if the therapist will judge them.

Starting Therapy With a Sense of Curiosity and Openness

I've been on both sides of the couch, so to speak.  I know how difficult it can be, especially for someone who has never been in therapy before, to begin therapy.  

A number of years ago, after graduate school, as part of my training to become a psychotherapist, I was required to be in my own three-time per week therapy for four years.

I remember very clearly what it was like to attend psychotherapy consultations with various therapists, who were connected to my training program, and what it was like to choose a therapist for my four year postgraduate training.  It was a daunting task.  

Initially, I had many of the same concerns that most people have: 

• Where do I start?
• How much should I divulge about myself during the initial therapy consultation?
• What will the process be like?
• Will the therapist be judgmental and see me as being unfit to be a therapist?

Since the therapists who were on the list were also part of the training institute, it was a bit of a "fish bowl" experience, and I discovered that many other people in the psychotherapy training program felt the same way.

Starting Therapy With a Sense of Curiosity and Openness

But, over time, I (and most of my peers) overcame these feelings and we learned to become open and curious about the therapeutic process.   I was also fortunate to find a therapist who was empathetic and a good fit for me, which is very important.

Therapy as a Process of Self Exploration
Many people come to therapy because they want to overcome specific issues.  

Others just have a sense that they're not feeling right and they don't understand why.  They sense they need to change in some way, but they're not sure how or why.

Starting Therapy With a Sense of Curiosity and Openness

Whatever leads you to consider psychotherapy, a sense of openness and curiosity helps you to expand your sense of self awareness and develop emotional insight.  It can also help you to make important changes in your life.

I am a licensed NYC psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR and Somatic Experiencing therapist who works with individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website:  Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.



Also see my articles:
Psychotherapy From a Strengths-Based Perspective: Seeing the Whole Person
Overcoming Your Fear of Starting Therapy to Overcome Emotional Trauma
Psychotherapy: Listening and Learning From the Client
Mind-Body Psychotherapy: The Body as a Window Into the Unconscious Mind