What is Low Self Esteem?

Self esteem is a big topic. I'll be covering this topic in a few posts.

What is Low Self Esteem?

To understand what low self esteem is, let's define what we mean by self esteem.

Self esteem is how we see and feel about ourselves.

Low self esteem is when we have a low opinion of ourselves.

Ask yourself:

Have I ever described myself as being weak, stupid, unlovable, or powerless?

Do I tend to compare myself unfavorably to others?

Do I have negative feelings about my appearance? Do I think that people won't like me because I feel too fat or too thin?

Do I tend to engage in negative self talk?

When I go to a party or some other social event, do I feel that I won't have anything interesting to say and that the other people there won't want to meet me?

If you have answered "yes" to two or more of these questions, you might be struggling with low self esteem and you might benefit from psychotherapy.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist

To set up an appointment call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

See my articles: 
What is Low Self Esteem?
Is Your Relationship Damaging Your Self Esteem?
Low Self Esteem? Take Steps to Increase Your Sense of Self Worth

Why is Empathy Important in Psychotherapy?

A therapist's empathy is such an important aspect of psychotherapy.

Why is Empathy Important in Therapy?

What is empathy?
There are so many definitions for empathy. For our purposes, empathy in psychotherapy refers to the therapist's ability to:

• listen reflectively
• enter into the client's experience to sense how the client feels
• reflect back these feelings back to the client in a way that enhances the client's understanding and allows the client to feel understood

Why is empathy important in psychotherapy?
When the therapist is being empathetic, the therapist gives the client his or her full attention.

If the therapist has perceived the client's meaning accurately and reflects this back to the client, the client will often hear what he or she is saying, possibly in a new way.

The client has an opportunity to gain a better understanding. It also helps a client to improve their problem solving skills.

For a client who grew up feeling not heard at home, being heard and understood by the therapist can be such a healing experience.

It helps a client to feel that he or she is not alone.

I believe that empathy is a very important and necessary part of psychotherapy. Empathy can create trust and build a rapport between the therapist and the client.

About Me
I am a licensed NYC psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR and Somatic Experiencing who works with individual adults and couples.

To find our more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To make an appointment, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Developing Emotional Resilience

Emotional resilience refers to a person's ability to deal with adversity, stressful situations and crisis in a balanced way. It's often part of a person's nature. However, the good news is that even if you're not naturally resilient and you tend to be a person who is more vulnerable to stressful events, you can learn to develop better coping skills so that you can become more resilient.

Developing Emotional Resilience

The ability to be more resilient is on a continuum so it's not an "all or nothing" kind of thing. It's not like either you have it or you don't--it's a matter of degree. Some people have better coping skills than others. So, before we explore how to become more resilient, let's explore what positive factors contribute to being more resilient:

• Understanding your feelings --what you feel and why you feel it


• Willingness to take appropriate action and not to give up easily


• Having a positive outlook about yourself and the world


• Willingness to seek emotional support when you need it


• Being able to laugh at life's every day challenges


• Learning from your mistakes and being willing to change


• Finding meaning and purpose in your life

How to Develop Emotional Resilience:

Engage in positive self talk. Remind yourself of your strengths and inner resources, your positive experiences, and that you have dealt with other problems before.

Understand why you are feeling upset so you can take positive action.

Know what you can control in your life and in the world and what you cannot. Learn how to respond and not overreact to adversity. There's a lot of wisdom in the Serenity Prayer: "God, grant me the wisdom to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference."

Develop a positive outlook on the world. Learn to cultivate an optimistic attitude.

Talk to supportive friends and family and allow them to give you support when you need it.

Be flexible and willing to change, adapt and grow.

Develop a sense of humor and learn to laugh at every day stressors. Be curious. Learn to develop your playful side. Whatever you can laugh at, most likely, will not have so much power over you.

Get plenty of rest, eat nutritious foods, and maintain a healthy exercise regime (always consult with your doctor before beginning an exercise program).

Learn to find the deeper meaning in life's stressful situations. Whether you consider yourself to be a spiritual person or not, you can find a deeper meaning and even a deeper purpose when faced with adversity.

Be persistent. When you know that you are on the path that is right for you, don't give up when you become discouraged. Develop a positive attitude and a perspective that you're in it for the long haul.

Remember that it's a process. Be patient with yourself and others.

Good luck to you on your journey.

About Me
I am a licensed NYC psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR and Somatic Experiencing therapist.  

I work with individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website:  Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist 

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Dream Analysis: Are You Fascinated by Your Dreams?

When you wake up from a compelling dream, do you find yourself wondering what the dream is about?

Your Dreams
We create our dreams through our unconscious mind. Usually, we have at least 5-7 dreams every night. However, we tend to remember the dreams that are closest to the time when we're about to wake up.

You can train yourself to remember your dreams by giving your unconscous mind the message that you want to remember them when you wake up.

Are You Fascinated By Your Dreams?

Keeping a Dream Journal
How do you do this? One way is to have a pad and pen or a recorder close to your bed so that when you wake up, you can capture your dreams right away. Dreams are often fleeting and if you don't record them immediately, they often slip out of our conscious minds. We can feel them slipping away and it's as if we're trying to catch the last bit of the dream as it drifts off.

Another helpful hint is to try to stay in the same position that you were in when you woke up. So, for instance, if you were lying on your right side, stay in that position and relax for a moment. You'll be more likely to remember your dreams if you stay in the same position. Usually, you'll remember them starting with the last one first and then going backwards.

If you keep a dream journal, you'll find, after a while, that you'll tend to remember many dreams. You'll also probably see certain recurring themes. Some clients say that by bringing more of an awareness to their dreams, they also begin to develop their intuition.

There are are as many ways to analyze dreams as there are psychoanalytic theories. No two theories will look at a dream in the same way. Fortunately, you don't have to be trained in psychoanalysis to analyze your dreams. You also don't need to buy how-to books about dream symbolism, which tend to give fixed definitions of the symbols that often won't apply to you.

You're your own best resource for dream analysis. The symbolism in a dream is whatever it means to you. So, one way to analyze a dream is to look at each person and aspect of the dream and think of it as part of yourself. After all, you're the author of your dreams.

Ask yourself, "If this person in my dream is some aspect of myself, what does that mean?" Also, ask yourself, "What emotions did I feel in this dream?" and "What emotions do I feel now that I'm awake?" Often, you'll come up with some fascinating answers and learn a lot about yourself.

Are You Fascinated By Your Dreams?

Some dreams are self state dreams. So, they're not about symbolism--they're about your feeling state at the time. So, for example, if you have a dream that you're running in place, but you're not moving, it often means that you are feeling frustrated and unable to move forward in a particular aspect of your life. Of course, this is an oversimplification, but it serves the purpose of describing a self state dream.

Getting Help in Therapy
I'm trained in contemporary psychoanalysis, and when I'm working with clients, I love working with their dreams so we can explore what their unconscious minds are trying to tell them.  I am also a hypnotherapist and EMDR and Somatic Experiencing therapist.

To find out more about me, please visit my website:Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

If you're curious about how you can enhance your personal growth and well being through dream analysis, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me for a consultation.

What is Clinical Hypnosis?

Clinical hypnosis, also known as hypnotherapy, is a therapeutic method that can create a state of deep relaxation where your attention is focused and your unconscious mind is open to making positive changes.

Clinical Hypnosis

When performed by a qualified hypnotherapist, clinical hypnosis can improve your emotional health and overall well being.

Misconceptions About Clinical Hypnosis
There are many misconceptions about clinical hypnosis, most likely because people confuse clinical hypnosis with stage hypnosis that they have seen in movies or heard about where people quack like a duck or bark like a dog or do other embarrassing things. That is not clinical hypnosis.

From the outset, let's be clear that there are important distinctions between clinical hypnosis and stage hypnosis. Clinical hypnosis is a collaborative treatment. You have complete control at all times. You are awake and maintain dual awareness of everything around you in the here and now as well as in the hypnotic state. No one can make you do anything that you don't want to do.

Clinical hypnosis as Therapeutic Method
Clinical hypnosis is used to treat many issues, including: weight loss, insomnia, pain management, enhancing creativity, overcoming writer's block or other creative blocks, overcoming fears, performance enhancement for athletes, actors, singers, musicians, public speakers, executives, and sales people.

Clinical hypnosis is also used to stop smoking and to overcome other negative habits, as well as for stress management, test anxiety, stage fright, anxiety, relationship issues, and many other issues.

About Me
I am a licensed psychotherapist and hypnotherapist in New York City.

To find out more about me, visit my website:  Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist & Hypnotherapist

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 or email me.

What is EMDR Therapy?

EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapy is a form of psychotherapy that was developed by psychologist, Francine Shapiro, in the 1980s (see my article: Experiential Therapy, Like EMDR, Can Achieve Emotional Breakthroughs).

What is EMDR Therapy?

What is EMDR Therapy?

EMDR was originally developed to treat posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Since that time, EMDR has been used successfully for many other issues, including stress, insomnia, performance anxiety, performance enhancement, abuse, substance abuse, sexual addiction and many other issues (see my article: How EMDR Therapy Works: EMDR and the Brain).

Why is EMDR Therapy More Effective Than Regular Talk Therapy?

EMDR Tends to Work Faster Than Talk Therapy for Trauma: 

Generally speaking, EMDR tends to work faster for trauma than most talk therapies. Among other things, much depends on the skill of the therapist as well as the rapport between therapist and client. Also, most clients will require a period of time where the EMDR therapist helps clients to develop internal resources and coping skills before the actual EMDR processing begins (see my article: EMDR Therapy: When Talk Therapy Isn't Enough).

EMDR Uses a 3-Pronged Approach: Past, Present, Future: 

EMDR uses a three-pronged protocol: working with the client's past, present and future. EMDR processes old memories, creating new links with adaptive functioning.

Current problems are targeted and desensitized and past and future events are integrated to assist clients in healthy functioning. 

There has been quite a bit of research on the success of EMDR and the treatment of trauma and PTSD. However, no one is completely sure as to how or why EMDR works. It is believed that part of its success is due to the fact that EMDR uses Rapid Eye Movement (REM) as its basis.

EMDR helps process negative memories and emotions. It helps the brain to successfully process these experiences.

Getting Help in EMDR Therapy

If you have been unable to work through your history of trauma, you could benefit from working with an EMDR therapist.

Once you are free from the effects of your traumatic history, you can live a more fulfilling life.

About Me
I am a licensed NYC psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR and Somatic Experiencing therapist who works with individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

How EMDR Works: Overcoming Emotional Trauma

What is Adjunctive EMDR Therapy?

Living a Balanced Life

What does "a balanced life" mean to you?

Living a Balanced Life

It often helps to start by asking yourself:

• What are the various areas in your life that are important to you?
• Do they come together to form a meaningful whole?

What are the categories you would include to have a balanced life?

Everyone is different when it comes to defining what is meaningful.  

Here's a Possible List of What Might Be Meaningful to You:

Your Family (including pets)

Your Health

Your Love Life

Your Friends/Social Support

Your Career/Professional Life

Your Sense of Spirituality

Your Playful Side

Your Personal Growth

Your Sense of Financial Security

Maybe your list would have other categories than the examples that I've given.

How satisfied are you with the categories you've defined?
If you made a list of these categories and took the time to think about each one carefully:

• How satisfied are you with each one, rating each one on a scale of 0-100% (with 0% being not at all satisfied and 100% being completely satisfied and not wanting to change a thing)? 
• As you think about and rate each category, what have you noticed?
• Are there certain areas that you would like to improve? 
• What might it take to improve a particular area by 5%.

For instance, if you are only 10% satisfied with your overall learning and growth, what small step could you take to increase your satisfaction in this area so that you could go from 10% to 15% satisfaction?

You might say: "Why aim so low? I want to be at least 95% satisfied with where I am and I want that now."

I would say that this is an excellent goal to aspire to ultimately, and that it shows how important this area is to you.

I would also ask: "When you think about going from 10% to 95% satisfaction immediately and what it would actually take to achieve that, does it feel overwhelming to you?" Chances are it does. So, in most cases, I recommend that you start by taking small, manageable and achievable steps that will be more likely to lead you to your ultimate goal.

Think of it as a process. If you try to do too much at once, you might become discouraged and give up your efforts all together. Has this ever happened to you?

As you look at your categories, do you find that you are spending more time and effort in certain areas that you care less about and less time in other areas that are actually more important to you?

What can you do to align your priorities so that you feel that you are living a more balanced life? 
For instance, if you are spending most of your time focused on your career and you are not allowing any time at all for play and fun in your life, what small step could you take to bring more balance into this area of your life?

Again, notice that, in most cases, I am suggesting "baby steps" to start and not a complete and immediate overhaul. With each small step that you achieve, you are more likely to build confidence and satisfaction. This, in turn, will increase your motivation to take the next step.

Once again, a balanced life means different things to different people. Start by identifying what you feel makes up a balanced life for you. Think about where you are in terms of overall satisfaction and then set small, manageable goals that will lead you to your ultimate goal.

Getting Help in Therapy
It may be difficult to get started on this process. You might know that you want to lead a more balanced life, but maybe you tend to put off thinking about it. 

It often helps to work with a professional where you have a weekly time and place to focus on your goals. The time and effort that you spend on it now will usually reap rewards for you in the long run.

About Me
I am a licensed NYC psychotherapist, hypnotherapist and EMDR Therapist.  

I work with individual adults and couples.

I have helped many clients to live a more balanced life and to achieve overall satisfaction with their lives.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.