The Cycle of Perfectionism, Procrastination and Paralysis

In my prior article, Intergenerational Trauma: What is the Link Between Perfectionism and Unresolved Trauma?, I looked at perfectionism through the lens of trauma that is passed on from one generation to the next.

The Connection Between Perfectionism, Procrastination and Paralysis

In the current article, I'm discussing the cycle of perfectionism, procrastination and paralysis (also known as avoidance).

Cycle of Perfectionism, Procrastination and Paralysis

Perfectionism, procrastination and paralysis form a cycle where an obsession with perfection is the driver leading to avoidance (procrastination) and ultimately resulting in inaction (paralysis).

This self-sabotaging loop occurs because impossible standards create anxiety which makes starting or finishing tasks feel overwhelming and risky (see my article: Overcoming Self-Sabotaging Behavior).

Understanding the Cycle of Fear

• Perfectionism (The Driver): Striving for impossible results, setting impossibly high standards and using all-or-nothing thinking.

• Procrastination (The Behavior): Delaying work or some other action because of a fear that the outcome won't meet the impossibly high standards. This inaction or avoidance can be disguised as "waiting for the right time".

• Paralysis (The Result): Becoming stuck and unable to start or finish a task, project or other commitment due to the pressure of wanting it to be "perfect".

How to Break the Cycle

• Be Aware: "Done is Better Than Perfect": Focus on starting and completing tasks rather than making them "perfect".

• Break Down Tasks: Divide tasks into more manageable and less intimidating parts.

• Set Time Limits: Limit the time you spend "polishing" and trying to make something "perfect".

• Practice Self Compassion: Work towards calming down your inner critic and accept that mistakes are inevitable and part of the learning process (see my article: Making Friends With Your Inner Critic).

• Work on Underlying Issues: The cycle of perfectionism, procrastination and paralysis often develops at an early age related to unresolved psychological trauma. Working through these underlying issues with a licensed mental health professional can help you to get to the underlying issues and resolution to the problem.

Clinical Vignette

The following clinical vignette, which is a composite of many different cases, illustrates the cycle discussed above and how psychotherapy can help.

Jean

Ever since she was a child, Jean approached all tasks and projects with a lot of anxiety. Her parents made her do her homework over and over again until they assessed it was "perfect" (excellent penmanship, no erasures, etc).

When she got to college, Jean had problems getting her papers in on time because her need to make everything "perfect" would cause her to either rewrite her papers many times before she could turn them in or her fear of the papers being less than "perfect" caused her to procrastinate and get the papers in late. There were times when she felt so anxious that she wasn't able to even start the papers.

Cycle of Perfectionism, Procrastination and Paralysis

One of Jean's professors, who recognized that Jean was intelligent and hard working, suggested that Jean get help in therapy to overcome these problems.

Working in trauma therapy, Jean gained insight into the origin of her problem and used the tools and strategies her therapist provided to get her papers in on time.

As part of her therapy, her therapist, who used Internal Family Systems Parts Work Therapy (IFS), helped Jean to work through these issues by getting her inner critic to soften and step aside so she could complete her tasks. Jean also learned to strengthen her Core Self so she was no longer influenced by the parts of herself that strove for "perfection".

Get Help in Therapy

If self help techniques haven't helped you to overcome perfectionism, seek help from a qualified mental health professional.

Get Help in Therapy

Overcoming the root cause of your problem can help you to work through these issues so you can lead a more fulfilling life.

About Me

I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT (for couples), Parts Work (IFS and Ego States Therapy), Somatic Experiencing and Certified Sex Therapist.

As a Trauma Therapist, I have helped individual adults and couples over the years.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.