Nostalgia: A Portal to the Past

Nostalgia is defined as a sentimental longing involving memories from the past, as in "the good old days."  Nostalgia is often bittersweet because, even though there might be an immersion into happy memories, there is also a sadness that the people, places or things related to the past are no longer in the present.

Nostalgia: A Portal to the Past

Nostalgia As a Portal to the Past
Nostalgia is a portal to the past--an actual past or, at times, an imaginary past.  Since memory can be inaccurate, nostalgia is often an idealized representation of the past, and it tends to be colored by what's happening in the present.

For instance, if someone is currently single, lonely and longing to be in a relationship, she might look back with fond memories to a time when she was in a romantic relationship.  She might idealize this past relationship and look back on it wistfully as being a completely happy time when, in fact, there might have been serious problems in that relationship.  In order to preserve this ideal, she might forget, without even realizing it, that there were times when she was very unhappy in that relationship.

This idealization often serves the purpose of having the internal experience of a happier time, a time when that can be relived in memory as a person now perceives the past.  So, there can be a psychological compensatory effect to nostalgia.

Book: In Search of Lost Time - By Marcel Proust
There are many ways in which people are transported back into the past, and literature offers many examples of this.

One of the most famous examples in literature is in In Search of Lost Time by the French novelist, Marcel Proust.

In Volume One, Swanns Way, the narrator, Marcel, has a memory of going to bed early as a boy and waiting for his mother's good night kiss.

Later on in the novel, Marcel's early memories are suddenly prompted when he tastes a madeleine cookie that he dips in tea.  Memories of his childhood experiences at his Aunt Leonie's home in Combray (now known as Illier-Combray, France) and other memories of earlier times come back to him in a nostalgic experience of involuntary memory.

During a trip to Paris a couple of years ago, I went to visit the Proust Museum, which is Proust's aunt's home in Illier-Combray as he described it in Swanns Way.  Having read his novel, I was quite moved to see the house preserved as the narrator described it in Swanns Way.  Just being able to walk through the rooms and remember various scenes from the book made the story come alive.

Film: Time Regained by Raul Ruiz: Nostalgia as a Psychologically Integrative Experience
Nostalgia can also be evoked by looking at old pictures.

In the beautiful movie, Time Regained, the Chilean filmmaker, Raul Ruiz, adapts the last book of Proust's seven-volume novel starting with a scene of Marcel Proust on his sick bed close to death.

Early on in the film, Marcel asks his housekeeper, Celeste, to bring him pictures that are in a drawer.  As he looks at these old pictures of his friends, family members and romantic partners, he is transported back in his memory to earlier times from childhood to adulthood.  He becomes immersed in these memories as he is slipping away into death.

As Marcel relives these times of joy and sadness, he is having a psychologically integrative experience of his past and present, which is beautifully rendered in the film.

Similar to the process of Life Review for older adults, the experience of nostalgia, especially as it is rendered in the film, Time Regained, highlights another positive aspect of nostalgia, which is a psychologically integrative experience where the past and present come together to add depth and meaning to a life lived.

I recently began rereading In Search of Lost Time and, in rereading it, I'm reminded that when we return to a masterpiece like this, our own life experience affects how we experience a novel when we revisit it more than 20 years later.

I also saw the film, Time Regained, again recently--the first time that I've seen it in almost 20 years.  This was another reminder of how time and memory can affect an experience.

About Me
I am a licensed NYC psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR and Somatic Experiencing therapist (see my article: The Therapeutic Benefits of Integrative Psychotherapy).

I work with individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Contemporary Psychoanalysis and EMDR Therapy: A Powerful Combination to Overcome Trauma

In prior articles, I've discussed aspects of psychoanalysis as well as the benefits of using integrative therapy.

What is EMDR Therapy?

See my articles: 

What is EMDR Therapy?

How EMDR Therapy Works: EMDR and the Brain 

EMDR Therapy for Big T and Smaller T Trauma.  

In this article, I'm focusing on the powerful combination of contemporary psychoanalysis and EMDR therapy.

A Powerful Combination: Contemporary Psychoanalysis and EMDR Therapy

What is Contemporary Psychoanalysis?
This is a brief explanation of contemporary psychoanalysis, and I provide links below for books, specifically on a type of contemporary psychoanalysis called Relational psychoanalysis, for anyone who wants a more in-depth understanding of contemporary psychoanalysis.

Many people have the old stereotypical image of psychoanalysis as being the type of therapy where the client does all the talking while lying down on a couch and the psychoanalyst remains seated behind the client, quiet for long stretches at a time until she makes an interpretation to the client for the purpose of helping the client develop insight into his problems.

In the old stereotypical image of psychoanalysis, clients would come for multiple sessions per week, and this could go on for many years.  Also, the analyst tended to remain "abstinent" and "neutral" and did not self disclose anything personal.

Fortunately, very few psychoanalysts work this way any more.

Contemporary psychoanalysis is different from older forms of psychoanalysis.

For instance, I consider myself to be a Relational psychoanalyst, which is a form of contemporary psychoanalysis.

I work in an interactive, dynamic, empathetic and collaborative way with clients.

The number of times the client comes to therapy, whether the client sits up facing me or lays down on the couch or how long the client chooses to remain in therapy doesn't take away from the fact that I'm using contemporary psychoanalysis--even if I don't make interpretations.

Although I practice many different types of therapy, including EMDR Therapy, Somatic Experiencing, clinical hypnosis, contemporary psychoanalysis informs my work in terms of the way I conceptualize the client's current problems, the importance of the unconscious mind and the transference aspects of therapy.

What is Relational Psychoanalysis?
Relational psychoanalysis is an integration of British Objects Relations, Self psychology and Interpersonal psychology.

In my professional opinion, this combination offers the best of contemporary psychoanalysis.

Stephen A. Mitchell, Ph.D. is recognized as the psychoanalyst who developed Relational psychoanalysis in the 1980s.

Stephen A. Mitchell and Jay Greenberg's book, Object Relations in Psychoanalytic Theory (1982) emphasized the importance of relationships.

Dr. Mitchell also wrote about Relational psychoanalysis in his book Relational Concepts in Psychoanalysis.

Combining Contemporary Psychoanalysis and EMDR Therapy
As I've mentioned in a prior article, I integrate different types of therapy depending upon the client's needs.  This includes integrating contemporary psychoanalysis and EMDR therapy, as needed.

When clients come to therapy to overcome traumatic events in their life, it's important for them to understand how their history contributed to their problems and contemporary psychoanalysis provides this perspective.

It's also important that they understand how their unconscious mind affects their history, their relationships, their decision-making process and, possibly, how their unconscious creates obstacles to overcoming their problems (see my article: Making the Unconscious Conscious).

Contemporary psychoanalysis, especially Relational psychoanalysis, allows clients to make these connections.

EMDR therapy, which was originally developed specifically to work on trauma, helps to process traumatic events so that they are no longer disturbing to clients.

Why is the Combination of Contemporary Psychoanalysis and EMDR Therapy So Effective?
Contemporary psychoanalysis and EMDR therapy offer powerful therapeutic benefits separately.  But when they're combined for trauma therapy, they offer the client the in-depth insight of contemporary psychoanalysis and EMDR's relatively faster way of processing trauma.

Among other aspects of EMDR therapy, EMDR helps clients to identify the negative beliefs that they have about themselves related to their trauma.  This negative belief is often rooted in family history and can often be found in many aspects of the client's life.

For example, the negative belief related to the traumatic memory might be "I'm unlovable," which is often part of other problems--not just the one that they're coming in to work on (see my article: Overcoming the Emotional Pain of Feeling Unlovable for more details).

EMDR therapy often has generalizable effects, which means that the therapist and client don't have to work on every traumatic event related to the negative belief.

Contemporary psychoanalysis offers the client an opportunity to appreciate the depth of the negative belief as well as other aspects of the trauma.

EMDR therapy offers clients an opportunity to unlock information related to the trauma that is stored in a maladaptive way in the brain.  It allows for memory reconsolidation, which is one of the reasons why it works relatively quickly compared to other forms of trauma therapy.

Combining EMDR therapy and contemporary psychoanalysis provides the most powerful and effective aspects of in-depth therapy with relatively brief therapy.

Getting Help in Therapy
If you have been suffering with unresolved psychological trauma, you owe it to yourself to get help from a trauma therapist (see my article: How to Choose a Psychotherapist).

Resolving your trauma will free you from a history that has been keeping you stuck in your life.

Rather than suffering on your own, you owe it to yourself to get help from a trauma therapist.

A skilled trauma therapist can help you to overcome the problems that are keeping you from maximizing your potential.

See my articles: 

The Therapeutic Benefits of Integrative Psychotherap

The Creation of the Holding Environment in Psychotherapy

Psychotherapy and the Positive Transference

Psychotherapy and the Erotic Transference  

About Me
I am a licensed NYC psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR and Somatic Experiencing therapist with over 20 years of experience.

I work with individuals and couples.

For clients who are already in therapy with therapists who do not do EMDR therapy and who want to remain with their therapists, I also provide adjunctive EMDR therapy so that clients can remain with their therapists (see my article: What is Adjunctive EMDR Therapy?).

I have helped many clients to overcome their traumatic history to lead a more fulfilling life.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Movies: "45 Years": An Old Secret Haunts a Loving Long-Term Marriage

In the movie, 45 Years, an old secret, which is suddenly thrust upon them, haunts an older married couple, who were, seemingly, happily married for many years (for 45 years, hence, the name of the movie).  They face the emotional challenge, both alone and together, that could ruin their relationship.

An Old Secret Haunts a Loving Long-Term Marriage*

Until this old secret surfaces, the couple, Kate and Geoff Mercer (portrayed beautifully by Charlotte Rampling and Tom Courtnay) seem to have an ordinary, serene life in their retirement in the beautiful English countryside.

Suddenly, their world is upended by a letter that Geoff receives about a deceased girlfriend, Katya, who died during a mountaineering accident when Katya and Geoff were very young, and whose body was just found intact in a glacier after all of these years.

Geoff's short-lived romantic relationship with Katya preceded his relationship with Kate, and he told Kate about it many years before.

But as he starts to ruminate about Katya and he sinks into a depressed state about this old loss, Kate begins to realize that he never revealed to her how important that past relationship was to him.  They never talked much about it, and the news about finding Katya's body is now threatening their marriage.

It haunts both Geoff and Kate in different ways.

For Geoff, the power of memory has overtaken him.  He can't sleep.  He starts smoking again.  He is preoccupied and lost in thought about his short, youthful romance with Katya.  He wants to immerse himself in pictures and mementos of her.  When he speaks about his old romance to Kate, he calls Katya "my Katya."

Initially, Kate comforts herself by telling herself that Geoff's youthful romance with Katya was very brief and a long time ago, especially compared to the many years that he and Kate have been married.  After all, Kate and Geoff have had a whole lifetime together, and it's been a good life.

She reasons to herself:  A brief romance from many years ago with a woman who is long dead can't compete with their 45 year marriage.

And, yet, it does in ways that gradually unfold in this movie.

Kate makes her own secret discoveries into Geoff's past romantic attachment to Katya.

As Kate becomes more aware of the effect of this old romance, she wonders how she can compete with the memory of an attractive, young lover who is deceased, but who is still very much alive in Geoff's memory.

Over the course of only one week, with the backdrop of Kate planning a big party for their 45th wedding anniversary, it gradually dawns on Kate that all of her assumptions about her husband and their marriage might be wrong:

• How does Geoff really feel about Kate and their marriage?
• How well does she understand Geoff's romantic history with Katya? 
• Has Geoff been secretly harboring unspoken feelings for Katya all along throughout their long marriage? 
• How can she be jealous of a ghost from the past?
• Would Geoff still have married her if Katya was still alive?
• Now that these secrets have come to light, what does all of this mean for their marriage?
• What is the truth about about their marriage?

Far from being melodramatic, 45 Years, is a the story of a very ordinary couple and the devastating effects of time and memory, which can change everything.  This is what makes it so haunting:  It could happen to anyone.

Without giving too much away, the expression on Kate's face, which is so dissonant from the all the revelry around her at the anniversary party, says it all.

Time seems to stand still for Kate and her expression tells us everything there is to know about how she feels and her dawning emotional awareness.

But there are no easy answers for this couple--just as there are no easy answers for any couple faced with this emotional dilemma.

About Me
I am a licensed NYC psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR and Somatic Experiencing therapist who works with individual adults and couples.

To find out more about it, visit my website:  Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.



*The couple in this picture are not from the movie.  The picture is from Shutterstock.

Psychotherapy Daily News - 1/23/13

Today's Psychotherapy Daily News, which has articles from my psychotherapy blog as well stories and videos from 
other psychotherapy sources, includes the following stories and videos:

• Psychotherapy:  Healing Your Emotional Wounds
• Psychotherapy and Beginner's Mind
• Resilience:  Bouncing Back from Life's ChallengesEMDR Self Help Book:  Getting Past Your Past
• Memory Experiment
• Update on Adolescent Mood Disorders
• Planck's Law of Generations - Psychiatric Times
• Family Habits:  The Key to Controlling Childhood Obesity
• Video:  Stories of Hope and Recovery - Jordan's Story
• Video:  Hurricane Sandy - Dr. Steven Southwick (Psychiatric Times)

You can subscribe to Psychotherapy Daily News by going to the site and clicking on the "Subscribe" button.

I am a licensed NYC psychotherapy, hypnotherapist, EMDR and Somatic Experiencing therapist.

I work with individuals adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my web site:  Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (212) 726-1006.

Visit:  Psychotherapy Daily News