Coping With Alexithymia - Also Known as Emotional Blindness

What is Alexithymia?

Alexithymia is a personality trait where a person has difficulty experiencing, identifying, understanding and expressing emotions.

Coping With Alexithymia

Alexithymia is also known as "emotional blindness".

Alexithymia is on a spectrum representing a personality trait with varying degrees of severity rather than a binary "yes" or "no" trait.

Individuals can range from low to high in alexithymic traits. 

These traits can include:

• Difficulties with emotional regulation

• Reduced imagination

• Externally oriented thinking

Alexithymia is a personality trait rather than a mental health diagnosis.  

Alexithymia is common among people who are neurodivergent (autism and ADHD).

What Causes Alexithymia?

Alexithymia can be influenced by several factors:

• Genetics

• Past experiences

• Certain psychiatric disorders and medical conditions including:
• Depression

• Anxiety

• Posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD)

• Adverse childhood experiences (trauma)

• Autism

• ADHD

• Eating Disorders

• Parkinson's

• Stroke

• Dementia

• Multiple Sclerosis

• Inflammatory Bowel Syndrome (IBS)

• Diabetes 

• Asthma

• Hypertension and cardiovascular disorders

• Chronic pain

• Fibromyalgia 

• Hormonal abnormalities

• Substance abuse, which is linked to an inability to process emotions

About 10-13% of the population has this personality trait with more men experiencing it than women.

People with alexithymia have a hard time understanding and expressing their emotions. This affects the way they relate to others. As a result, relationships often suffer because their limited ability to express their emotions stifles communicate with others (see below:Understanding How Alexithymia Affects Relationships).

People with alexithymia also have difficulty sensing the physical sensations that accompany their emotions (see my article: Learning to Sense Emotions in Your Body).

Understanding the Genetic Component of Alexithymia

Studies indicate that there is a genetic component to alexithymia. One study found there is a higher degree of alexithymia among first-degree relatives.

Understanding the Environmental Component of Alexithymia

People who have experienced childhood abuse or neglect can develop alexithymia and have difficulty processing their emotions. Brain injuries can also contribute to alexithymia.

Understanding How Alexithymia Affects Relationships

It can be difficult to form and maintain emotional bonds for individuals who have alexithymia. 

People who have alexithymia tend to focus externally rather than on their internal state. 

Partners might feel ignored, abandoned or unloved due to their partner's low emotional responsiveness. This can make it difficult to communicate effectively and resolve conflicts. Partners can feel that they are with someone who is "robotic" which can lead to a superficial or distant relationship. 

In addition, since people with alexithymia also have problems reading other people's emotions, their partners might feel they are uncaring--even when the person with alexithymia cares deeply for them.

The partner can feel like they're alone because the person with alexithymia can have a hard time providing emotional support or emotional validation

With regard to sex, emotional detachment related to alexithymia often leads to a decline in sexual intimacy (see my article: Have You and Your Partner Stopped Having Sex?).

How to Address Alexithymia

Alexithymia can create a barrier to traditional psychotherapy because, as previously mentioned, individuals with alexithymia have difficulty experiencing, identifying, understanding and expressing their emotions.

Coping With Alexithymia

Emotional difficulties often present as physical complaints rather than emotional distress. 

Somatic oriented therapy, like Somatic Experiencing and other Experiential Therapies that focus on sensations in the body can help.  

Helping clients to develop somatic awareness can be helpful, 

Experiential therapists can ask clients, "What are you sensing in your body right now?" instead of "What are you feeling?"

A mindfulness practice can also help clients to develop somatic awareness related to emotions.

What Are the Therapeutic Goals For Alexithymia?

There is no "quick fix" for alexithymia since it's a personality trait and not a curable disease.

While there is no "cure" for alexithymia, it also doesn't have to be a lifelong problem.

Psychotherapy for alexithymia needs to have a bottom up approach (see my article: What is the Difference Between Top Down and Bottom Up Approaches to Therapy?).

The therapeutic goals include:

• Building the capacity to accurately perceive internal body sensations (also known as interoceptive awareness) and connect these sensations to emotions.

• Affective education which can help to connect physical sensations to emotions. For example, a tightness in the chest can be linked to anxiety (see my article: How to Use the Wheel of Emotion).

• Shifting from external-oriented thinking to recognizing inner emotional experiences.

• An experiential bottom up approach can be effective in improving emotional processing.

About Me

I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT (for couples), Parts Work (IFS and Ego States Therapy), Somatic Experiencing and Certified Sex Therapist.

I have over 25 years of experience helping individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.