Your Psychotherapist Thinks About You Between Sessions

I had my first experience with therapy when I was 18 years old.  I wanted to move out on my own to be independent, but I also felt ambivalent about being on my own, so I sought help from a psychoanalyst who had a lot of experience working with teenagers.

After a few months of therapy, I was able to move out to a women's residence in Greenwich Village which was recommended by my therapist. This turned out to be the best decision I could have made for myself.  Not only was it affordable at the time, but it also enabled me to grow in ways I couldn't have imagined at the time.  

Your Therapist Thinks About You Between Sessions

An added benefit was that the residence was just a few short blocks from my therapist's office, so it felt safe to be close to his office.  But I also had mixed feelings about being so close because I wondered if I would run into him on the street and whether this would be uncomfortable for me or for him (I never did run into him).

I often wondered if my therapist thought about me between sessions, which I didn't have the courage to ask him at the time. But I obviously hoped that he did because it would have meant to me that he thought I was important enough to think about--even when I wasn't in his office.

My therapist and I had our ups and downs, but overall it was a very positive experience (see my article: Ruptures and Repairs in Therapy).

That therapy ended successfully five years later, and I can look back on that experience as having had a profound impact in my life.  That experience also made me want to become a therapist.

Many years later, after graduate school, I attended the same psychoanalytic postgraduate training program where my former therapist taught and supervised.  

Sadly, he died several years before I entered the program, so he never knew I chose that program, but I often thought about him while I was in training, walking the same corridors he walked through and sitting in the same classrooms and consultation rooms.

During my first year of training, I was shocked to stumble upon articles my former therapist had written about his adolescent clients. I can still remember my heart was pounding when I found the folder in the institute's library with his name on it.  

Most of the articles were written during the same time period when I was in therapy with him, which filled me with hope and dread.  The hopeful part of me wondered: Would I find articles about me? And the part that felt dread also wondered: Would I find articles about me!?!

I felt like I had discovered a hidden treasure that might make me happy because he might have actually thought enough about me to write an article. Or, it could be disappointing: There's nothing in the articles about me. And why not?

Without reading the articles, I photocopied them in a hurry and placed the folder back in the library drawer. 

I know now that my feelings weren't unique. Any therapist or therapist-in-training who has ever sat in the audience for a talk given by their therapist knows the mixture of hope and dread that a presentation might be about them.

I also know now that therapists must get consent from their clients before discussing their case in a paper, book or presentation.  

But I didn't know this at the start of my postgraduate psychoanalytic training, so when I started reading my former therapist's articles, I read through them quickly to see if any of the cases even remotely sounded like mine.  But, for better or worse, none of them did, and I was filled with a combination of relief and disappointment.  

I was relieved to not feel so emotionally exposed by reading anything about myself that would reflect poorly on me or how he felt about me.  And, at the same time, I felt disappointed not to find myself in any of these articles because I wondered: Did he think about me at all between sessions?

Why Your Therapist Thinks About You Between Sessions

Now that I've been a psychotherapist for over 20 years, I know that therapists do think about their clients between sessions.  

So, if you've ever wondered about this, here are several reasons why your therapist probably thinks about you between therapy sessions:

• Reflecting on Therapy Sessions: Most therapists take the time between sessions to reflect on their sessions with clients. They think about their interactions with clients, any interventions they attempted and how to plan for the next session. They also think about whatever the sessions might have brought up for them personally and professionally. This is a valuable part of therapists' training and helps therapists to help their clients.

• Seeking Consultations: Therapists in training must be in supervision in order to become licensed. But even after a therapist has a license, she will have times when she seeks professional consultations. These consultations are usually with a therapist who has more experience in an area the consultee doesn't have.  To protect confidentiality, the therapist who is seeking the consultation doesn't reveal the client's name but provides basic information. Even seasoned psychotherapists seek consultations when they think it could benefit their clients.

• Making Referrals: A therapist might make a referral to a colleague or to another healthcare professional, including a referral to a medical doctor, physical therapist, a therapist who specializes in certain issues or another healthcare professional. These referrals are made only if you agree and provide your consent.  For instance, if your therapist isn't a trauma therapist and you need a referral for trauma therapy, she might recommend that you seek help with an EMDR therapist.

• Feeling Moved By a Client in Session: Most therapists are caring human beings so they're often moved by what happens in sessions with their clients. Seeing a client making an emotional breakthrough is one of the most rewarding things a therapist can experience in session, so therapists will often think about those moments between sessions with compassion and awe.

Conclusion

As an 18 year old new to therapy and, later in life, as a therapist in training, I wondered if my former therapist thought about me between sessions.  

Now, as an experienced psychotherapist, I know that he did because most therapists hold their clients in their hearts and minds between sessions.

About Me

I am a licensed New York City psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT, Somatic Experiencing and Sex Therapist.

I work with individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.