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Shame is a painful emotion which is part of a deep sense of being flawed, unworthy and unlovable (see my article: Overcoming the Emotional Pain of Feeling Unlovable).
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| Self Acceptance as the Antidote to Shame |
Shame often stems from early childhood experiences of trauma including abuse and emotional neglect (see my article: What is the Difference Between Childhood Abuse and Neglect?).
Shame is feeling bad about who you are as opposed to guilt which is feeling bad about something you did (see my article: Understanding the Difference Between Guilt and Shame).
Core Concepts About Shame
- Childhood/Developmental Trauma: Abuse, neglect and punitive parenting often leads to long lasting feelings of inadequacy.
- The Internal Critic: Negative messages from parents and other authority figures are internalized. This creates the internal critic which devalues the individual and makes them feel ashamed of themself (see my article: Making Friends With Your Internal Critic).
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| Self Acceptance as the Antidote to Shame |
- Cultural Expectations: An inability to meet cultural, societal or religious expectations can create feelings of shame.
- Fear of Disconnection: Shame is a response to the fear of being rejected by others.
- Trauma and Mental Health: Shame is a common outcome of trauma. Shame is also at the root of many other mental health issues (see my article: Shame is at the Root of Most Emotional Problems).
- Social Media and Comparison: Social media can fuel shame through constant comparisons with regard to perceived shortcomings about looks, success or other issues (see my article: Comparison and Judgment Are the Thieves of Joy).
How is Self Acceptance an Antidote to Shame?
Self acceptance is an antidote to shame because it can dismantle a harsh inner critic as well as feelings of isolation and inadequacy.
By developing self acceptance you can overcome the toxic effects of shame.
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| Self Acceptance as the Antidote to Shame |
You can also develop emotional resilience to develop a kinder, more loving relationship with yourself.
How to Develop Self Acceptance
There are many ways you can develop self acceptance including:
- Focusing on your strengths (see my article: Focusing on Your Strengths).
- Journaling to increase your self awareness and self compassion
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| Self Acceptance as the Antidote to Shame |
- Develop an external perspective: Ask yourself what your best friend would say about you
- Meditation: Mindfulness meditation can help to deepen self awareness and compassion
Getting Help in Therapy
If self help strategies aren't working for you, consider getting help from a licensed mental health professional who is trained as a trauma therapist.
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| Self Acceptance as the Antidote to Shame |
By working through unresolved trauma related to your feelings of shame, you can free yourself of your traumatic history so you can live a more fulfilling life.
About Me
I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT (for couples), Parts Work (IFS and Ego States Therapy), Somatic Experiencing and Certified Sex Therapist.
I have over 25 years of experience as a trauma therapist helping individual adults and couples.
To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.
To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.
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