How to Increase Your Tolerance for Uncertainty to Reduce Your Anxiety

As I discussed in a prior article, Global Pandemic Causes Significant Increase in Anxiety and Depression, anxiety fueled by uncertainty is now the biggest mental health problem in the United States and around the world according to the findings of the World Health Organization (WHO). 

Increasing Your Tolerance For Uncertainty to Reduce Anxiety

But even before the pandemic, other types of uncertainty contributed to anxiety for many people.  So, the focus of this article is on how to increase your tolerance for uncertainty so you can reduce your anxiety (see my article: Coping With Uncertainty).

Increasing Your Tolerance for Uncertainty to Reduce Anxiety

What's the Difference Between Fear and Anxiety?

In a prior article, What's the Difference Between Fear and Anxiety?, I made this distinction: 

Whereas fear is a response to a known threat, anxiety is a vague feeling of apprehension about an anticipated unknown threat (see my article: Self Help Tips For Coping With Anxiety).

What's the Difference Between Coping with Fear vs Coping with Anxiety?

When you're struggling with a specific fear, you can deal with your fear directly because it's known.  

For instance, if you have a fear of public speaking, you can deal with it directly by taking a class to help you become more comfortable with speaking in public. 

But the vagueness of anxiety makes it more challenging.

Tips to Increase Your Tolerance For Uncertainty and Reduce Anxiety

Although it's not easy, here are some tips to increase your tolerance for uncertainty that fuels anxiety:

• Accept That You're Anxious: Rather than trying to deny your anxiety, start by acknowledging and accepting it.  Acceptance doesn't mean you like it or that you're being passive about it.  It's more about accepting that you have a problem as a starting point.  The more you try to deny and suppress it, the worse the problem will become.  It's better to admit it and have compassion for yourself.  Also, when you acknowledge and accept your anxiety, you're in a better position to do something about it (see my article: Awareness and Acceptance: Being Willing to See Things You've Been in Denial About).

• Educate Yourself About Anxiety: Knowing that anxiety is currently the most common mental health problem can be comforting by letting you know you're not alone.  

• Learn to Be Flexible With Change: When you're inflexible, you're more likely to feel stuck and unable to cope. But, in general, when you learn to approach change with a degree of flexibility, you're more likely to come up with ways to deal with change and feel better about yourself.  Over time, you'll be able to look back on times where you dealt with change and feel more confident about your current situation.  

• Learn to Distinguish Between What's Possible vs What's Probable: Being able to step back to ask yourself whether your apprehension is possible vs probable is a useful way to get a better perspective.  To the extent you can make this distinction, you can reduce your anxiety about something that isn't probable.  You can also remember prior times when you were needlessly anxious about something that was improbable and compare that situation to the current one.

• Get Information: If you're anxious, get information. For instance, if you're anxious about the possibility of losing your job (even though there are no known reasons for you to be anxious about it), you can seek information about other job opportunities in your field.  Just taking this step can get you out of an endless cycle of paralyzing anxiety by helping you to realize that there are other possibilities for you if the need should arise.  This can help you feel more empowered.

My Next Article

In my next article, I'll discuss how a history of unresolved psychological trauma can act as a trigger to increase your anxiety when you're dealing with uncertainty:

Working Through Past Unresolved Trauma So It No Longer Affects You in the Present

About Me

I am a licensed New York City psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT and Somatic Experiencing therapist.

I work with individual adults and couples.

I have helped many people to overcome problems with anxiety (see my article: What is a Trauma Therapist?)

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Making Peace with the Aging Process

Making peace with the aging process isn't always easy.  Several months ago, I was with a friend (I'll call her Betty, which isn't here real name).  Betty, who was about to turn 60, showed me photographs of herself when she was in her 20s and 30s.  She was reminiscing about those earlier days, lamenting  the aging process, and wishing she was a young, slim and attractive as she appeared in her earlier photos.  

A week later, we were together for her 60th birthday bash.  Surrounded by her husband, family, and friends, Betty was beaming with happiness and appreciation.  One by one, her husband, daughters and friends stood up and made toasts to her.

Making Peace With the Aging Process

Then, Betty's 85 year old mother, Joan, stood up to make a toast.  Still vibrant and in good health, she made a poignant toast to Betty, thanking her for being such a wonderful daughter, wife, mother, and friend to everyone at the party.  Then, she also talked about how happy and grateful she felt to be alive, in good health, curious and still learning new things almost every day.

Afterwards, I spoke to Joan to find out more about her wonderful attitude towards life in general and the aging process in particular.  She told me that she approached every day with a sense of openness and curiosity.  She remained involved in her hobbies and interests, and she maintained close friendships.  

She let go of petty resentments and forgave people who had hurt her.  She hardly spent time thinking about getting old.  Of course, she had lost her husband and many dear friends along the way, which was hard, so she wasn't in denial about her age or that she would die one day.  But she felt she still had a lot to look forward to and a lot to offer, so she didn't want to waste her time worrying about getting older and death.

Living in a culture that's obsessed with youth and good looks, it's hard not to be affected by worries about the aging process.   This is why I was so impressed with Joan's positive attitude about aging and her philosophy about life.  I thought how wonderful it would be if we could all approach the aging process with such openness and grace.   

I recently had a chance to speak with Betty about her party and, in particular, what her mother had to say about aging.  Betty said she had also been reflecting on it.  She said she also realized how much she had to be grateful for.  She had a loving husband and family, good friends, and good health.  She was  gainfully employed and loved her work.  

After hearing her mother speak at her party, Betty said she made a commitment to herself to stay focused on how lucky she is and to appreciate all the inner resources and strengths she developed over the years. She said when she was in her 20s and 30s, she was filled with self doubt and apprehension about the future.  It wasn't until she was in her 40s that she began to develop a degree of self confidence.  She told me that she wouldn't go back to how she felt when she was younger for anything in the world.

Remembering our self worth as mature adults can be challenging when we're bombarded on a daily basis by messages that it's better to be young and good looking.  Sometimes, we need good friends or supportive family members to remind us of who we really are inside, where it counts the most.

About Me

I am a licensed New York City psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR and Somatic Experiencing therapist. 

I work with individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 or email me.