Empowering Yourself During COVID-19: There Are Things You CAN Control

During the current COVID-19 crisis, many people are feeling powerless. This is understandable given the suddenness and the unprecedented nature of the crisis. Also, many of the social interactions, activities and diversions that would normally be available to people to support their well-being aren't available to them because people are physically isolated and might be lonely.  There are many unknowns about the future and it can feel like everything is out of your control.  But before you give into feelings of hopelessness and helplessness, let's take a look at the things that you can control (see my articles: Coping and Staying Calm During a Crisis, Coping with Loneliness and Social Isolation, and Undoing Aloneness: Staying Socially Connected Even Though We're Physically Disconnected).

Empowering Yourself During COVID-19: There Are Things You CAN Control

There Are Things You Can Control During the COVID-19 Pandemic
The Serenity Prayer, which was written by Reinhold Niebuhr, contains much wisdom and many people, both in and out of the recovery community, find it calming:

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference."

Regardless of whether or not you believe in a God, a Higher Power, religion or prayer, these words remind you that, if you're worried about things you have no control over, you can redirect your attention to what you can control.

What You Can Control During the COVID-19 Pandemic
Rather than focusing on what you can't control, let's take a look at some things you can control:

• Stay Informed But Don't Spend Too Much Time Watching the News: 
• Getting reliable information is important to staying informed. 
• It's also important to moderate how much time you spend watching or listening to the news.  
• Much of the news is repetitive throughout the day, and the benefit spending time watching TV or online news is often outweighed by how anxious it can make you feel.
•  So, you need to figure out what's best for you in terms of how much and when you watch the news.  
• If you want to maintain your overall sense of well-being, it's especially important that you don't watch the news before you go to sleep.

• Center and Ground Yourself: 
• Practice doing breathing exercises to help to calm yourself (see my article: Square Breathing to Manage Stress). 
• Practice online yoga at a pace that's right for you if yoga appeals to you. If you're not up to doing a vigorous form of yoga, there are online videos or chair yoga.
• Practice meditation at a regular time. Some people prefer to meditate at night.  Others prefer to meditate when they wake up, and some people do it two or more times a day.  You don't need any special knowledge to quiet your mind to meditate.  You can start by taking a few deep breaths to activate your parasympathetic nervous system, which will calm you down.  There are also many online meditations that you can follow (see my articles: The Mind-Body Connection: Mindfulness Meditation and Calming the Body, Calming the Mind). 
• Calm your thoughts by taking it one day, one hour or even one minute at a time.
• Recognize that all things pass.
• Feel gratitude and appreciation for what you do have right now. 

• Establish a Routine For Yourself: Chances are good that your normal routine has been interrupted since the current crisis began.  A routine can give you comfort and a feeling of stability, so you can establish a new routine for yourself:
• Wake up and go to sleep at the same time everyday.
• Plan your meals.
• Plan some quiet time for yourself, even if it's just a couple of minutes to breathe.
• Make a To-Do list for yourself for the next day so you don't spend all day either in bed or watching news
• A To-Do list can help to organize your day, your week, and your life.
• Try not to be too ambitious with your To-Do list.
• Be gentle with yourself. Recognize that you're probably not going to accomplish everything on the list--and that's okay.
• Appreciate yourself for accomplishing whatever you accomplish on the list.

• Stay Active: Even though you might be physically isolating, there are still ways to be physically active:
• You can find many free workouts and yoga classes online.
• You can also walk or bike outside as long as you take the precautions recommended to stay a healthy distance (at least 6 feet away) from others and follow The Center for Disease Control (CDC) recommendations.

• Accept the Ups and Downs You Feel as a Common Response to a Crisis: You're living through an unprecedented time in modern history.  Chances are that your mood will go up and down at various times. This is a common experience during times of stress and crisis (see my article: Overcoming Your Fear of Your So-Called "Negative Emotions".
• If you feel anxious, sad, fearful or whatever emotion you're experiencing at any given time, you're having a common response to a crisis.
• Rather than judging yourself, accept all your emotions and do whatever you can to alleviate your stress and negative emotions.
• Recognize that you're not alone.  Millions of other people, who are just like you, are experiencing the same thing. We're in this together.

• Eat Nutritiously: Eating the right amount of protein, vegetables, grains and vegetables is important to stay physically and mentally healthy.  

• Get Enough Sleep: Getting proper sleep is essential to your overall health and well-being (see my article: Tips on Improving Your Sleep).

• Stay Connected Socially: Even though you might not be able to see loved ones now, you can still stay connected to them via: 
• Phone calls
• Video chats  
• Games with friends online.  
• Video night with a Netflix Party

• Remember Your Strengths: Whether you realize it or not, your strengths have gotten you through stressful times in the past.  Remembering these strengths can be empowering to you now (see my article: Remember Your Strengths as a Way to Cope With the Current Crisis).

Getting Help in Therapy
Times of crisis can trigger prior trauma and stressors, and it can be difficult to determine what you're reacting to emotionally.  The important thing to know is that you're not alone.

An experienced psychotherapist can help you to get through a stressful time when you feel overwhelmed.

Many psychotherapists, including me, are providing online therapy (also called telehealth, telemental health, and teletherapy) during the current crisis when therapists aren't in their office (see my article: The Advantages of Online Therapy When You Can't Meet With Your Therapist in Person).

Rather than struggling on your own, you could get help from a licensed psychotherapist to overcome the obstacles that are hindering you.

About Me
I am a licensed NYC psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, Somatic Experiencing and Emotionally Focused Therapy therapist (see my article: The Therapeutic Benefits of Integrative Psychotherapy).

I work with individual adults and couples.

I am providing online therapy during the COVID-19 crisis.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Trauma Therapy: Using Grounding Techniques Between Psychotherapy Sessions

In my last article, Trauma Therapy: Using the Container Exercise Between Therapy Sessions, I discussed the importance of the preparation phase of trauma therapy and how the container exercise can help with emotional containment and coping with difficult emotions between psychotherapy sessions or at the end of a psychotherapy session.  In this article, I'm continuing to focus on grounding techniques.

Trauma Therapy: Using Grounding Techniques Between Psychotherapy Sessions

What is Grounding?
Just like the container exercise that I mentioned in my last article, grounding is a stress management technique to help you calm down and be in the present moment.

Grounding is especially helpful when you're in trauma therapy.  It helps you to transition from the memories you're working on in therapy to the present moment so that you're not overwhelmed by thoughts, feelings, images, body sensations or other uncomfortable things that might come up when you process traumatic memories in therapy.

Aside from helping you between or at the end trauma therapy sessions, ground techniques can also help you to calm down and cope when you're generally under stress or anxiety.

How Do You Know If You're Not Emotionally Grounded?
People who have experienced longstanding psychological trauma often become "accustomed" to living with high intensity anxiety and this feels "normal" to many of them.

As a result, they might not know when they're not emotionally grounded and might only see the difference once they've experienced what it's like to feel emotionally grounded or calm.

Signs of Possibly Not Being Emotionally Grounded:
Some of the following signs might be signs that you're not emotionally grounded, especially if you experience many of these symptoms:

• Experiencing anxiety and worry most of the time
• Causing or participating in emotional drama much of the time
• Being spaced out (or dissociated) much of the time
• Getting easily distracted often
• Ruminating obsessively 
• Obsessing frequently about how you look or what others think about you
• Having frequent problems falling or staying asleep
• Having chronic pain
• Having inflammation in your body
• Having poor circulation
• Feeling fatigued most of the time

The Benefits of Being Emotionally Grounded
Generally speaking, being emotionally grounded can have the following potential benefits:

• Getting better sleep
• Reducing anxiety and worry
• Improving concentration and focus
• Reducing rumination
• Reducing fears about your image and what others think of you
• Reducing chronic pain
• Reducing inflammation in your body
• Improving circulation
• Reducing fatigue

Grounding Exercises
There are many types of grounding exercises.  I'll mention an easy one, the body scan, in this article that you can practice.  This grounding exercise is often used in trauma therapy, and it can also be beneficial any time you feel the need to calm yourself.

Trauma Therapy: Using Grounding Techniques Between Psychotherapy Sessions

In order for grounding exercises to have a beneficial effect, you need to practice grounding regularly.

If you're experiencing unresolved psychological trauma, it's best to see a trauma-informed psychotherapist before you try anything new.

Before starting any grounding exercises, consult with your psychotherapist.  This particular grounding exercise is generally good for most people, but there might be a particular reason why you shouldn't do it, so speak to your psychotherapist first.

The Body Scan:  

• Sitting up with your feet flat on the floor, start by taking a few deep breaths and, if it feels comfortable for you, close your eyes.  If you feel uncomfortable or unsafe closing your eyes, pick a spot on the floor to focus on so your attention doesn't wander.

• Paying attention to your feet, which are placed flat on the floor, notice how the floor supports the weight of your body.  If it feels comfortable for you, you can imagine that there are vines growing from the soles of your feet which connect to the earth so you feel yourself securely rooted.  If that feels uncomfortable, stay focused on how the floor and the earth below the floor support your feet.  

• Focusing on the crown of your head, move your attention slowly through your body and notice where you're holding onto tension in your body.  Don't forget your eyes, which hold a lot of tension.  Allow the muscles in your eyes to relax instead of holding them fixed (this is easier to do if your eyes are closed or semi-closed).  Also, pay attention to the tension you hold in your jaw and tongue.  Allow your jaw to relax and your tongue to settle at the bottom of your mouth.  Then, proceed throughout the rest of your body.  Wherever you sense tension, picture the tension melting away or going through your limbs and out of your body.  

• Take a few moments to notice and enjoy your relaxed state.

• Before opening your eyes, picture the room that you're in with your mind's eye and be aware of the chair or couch where you're sitting.  

• Opening your eyes gently, take a look around the room and orient yourself to your surroundings.  Continue to feel your feet planted on the ground for a few moments before you transition to doing something else.

If this exercise feels uncomfortable to you in any way, stop doing it until you can talk about it or practice doing it with your psychotherapist.  As I mentioned earlier, it's always best to consult with your psychotherapist before you begin any form of grounding exercise.

Also see my articles:
Coping Strategies in Mind-Body Oriented Psychotherapy
Wellness: Safe Place Meditation
Learning to Relax: Square Breathing

Conclusion
Using grounding techniques, like the body scan, can help to calm you.

If you're struggling with unresolved trauma, it's best to work with a trauma-informed psychotherapist to resolve your trauma.

Generally, the body scan grounding exercise is safe for most people, but speak to your therapist before beginning any grounding exercises.

Getting Help in Therapy
Unresolved trauma doesn't resolve on its own.  It can be debilitating on an emotional and physical level.  We also know now that it can have intergenerational effects and affect your children and generations that follow, so it's important to get help (see my article: Psychotherapy and Transgenerational Trauma).

Rather than struggling on your own, you could benefit from getting help from a licensed mental health professional who specializes in helping clients to overcome trauma (see my articles: The Benefits of Psychotherapy and How to Choose a Psychotherapist).

After you have worked through your trauma, you'll have a chance to live a more fulfilling life.

About Me
I am a licensed NYC psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR and Somatic Experiencing therapist (see my article: The Therapeutic Benefits of Integrative Psychotherapy).

I specialize in helping individual adults and couples to overcome unresolved trauma.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.