NYC Psychotherapist Blog

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Thursday, September 7, 2023

What Are the 4C's of Safe and Enjoyable Sex?

Enjoyable sex is also safe sex (see my article: What is Good Sex?).

Usually, when people think about safe sex, they only think about protecting themselves and their partners from pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections/diseases (STIs/STDs). But safe and enjoyable sex is about much more than just protection as I explain below (see my article: Sexual Wellness: Savoring Pleasure).

The 4C's of Safe and Enjoyable Sex

What Are the 4C's of Safe and Enjoyable Sex?
    • Before: Talk to your partner about consent, condoms, contraception and safe sex.  Also, set boundaries and talk about what you each expect with regard to what you both want to do and what is off limits for each of you (see my article: How to Talk to Your Partner About Sex).
The 4C's of Safe and Enjoyable Sex
    • During: Check in with your partner to make sure sex they feel comfortable and sex is enjoyable for them. Be prepared to stop if one of you isn't comfortable anymore.
    • After: Talk to your partner about the experience--what worked, what didn't work and what could be changed next time.
  • Consent: Consent means that both you and your partner are enthusiastic about the sex you're able to have. Even though you are both consenting, be aware that either of you can withdraw consent at any time if one of you feels uncomfortable (see my article: What Are the Rules of Consent?).
The 4C's of Safe and Enjoyable Sex
  • Condoms: The only way to be at least 97-98% safe is using condoms.  You can include putting on the condom as part of foreplay.  This also means knowing how to use a condom properly by:
    • Opening up the wrapper carefully
    • Placing the condom on the head of an erect penis
    • Pinching the air out of the tip of the condom
    • Unrolling the condom all the way down the penis 
    • Holding the condom at the base after sex and before pulling the penis out of your partner
    • Removing the condom carefully and throwing it away in the trash
  • Contraception: Aside from condoms, many people use an additional form of contraception, like the pill, an IUD or an injection. You and your partner should consult with your medical doctor to determine what type of contraception is best for each of you.
Getting Help in Sex Therapy
Most psychotherapists aren't trained in sex therapy. This is why you need to see a sex therapist if you're having sexual problems.

Getting Help in Sex Therapy

Sex therapy is a form of talk therapy (see my article:  What is Sex Therapy?).

Individual adults and couples attend sex therapy for a variety of reasons (see my article: What Are Common Issues Discussed in Sex Therapy?).

There is no nudity, physical exams or sex during a sex therapy session (see my article: What Are Common Misconceptions About Sex Therapy?).

Rather than struggling on your own, get help from a skilled sex therapist so you can have a more fulfilling sex life.

About Me
I am a licensed New York City psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT, Somatic Experiencing and Sex Therapist.

I work with individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917 742-2624 during business hours or email me.