How to Cope With Touch Deprivation During the COVID-19 Crisis

Physical touch is so important to our emotional well-being that babies instinctively reach for their mothers when they're distressed.  In response, an attuned mother holds her baby, giving the baby a hug or lightly squeezing her baby's hand to give reassurance, and the baby responds by calming down.  

The Power of Touch

The Power of Touch

Touching and being touched is so essential--and yet we're being advised by the CDC and other medical experts to socially distance ourselves during the COVID-19 pandemic to avoid being exposed to the virus.  

Although social distancing, which includes staying 6 feet or more away from others, is necessary for our health right now, it has also led to many people feeling sad, isolated, lonely and depressed due to touch deprivation, especially for people who live alone (see my article: Coping With Loneliness and Social Isolation During the COVID-19 Crisis)

What makes matters even worse is that the necessity of social distancing has gone on for months, and we don't know how much longer it will be before we can safely give hugs and touch again.

Before I discuss how to cope with touch deprivation, let's take a look at why touch is so important and essential to our sense of well-being.  

Coping with Touch Deprivation

Touching in all its varieties, including hugs, handshakes, a pat on the arm or back, a kiss, a sensual touch, can:

• Calm your nervous system
• Boost your immune system
• Reduce cortisol, which is a stress hormone
• Reduce physical pain
• Activate oxytocin, which is often called the "cuddle hormone." It's essential for mother-child bonding, intimate relationships and to increase your sense of well-being and calm
• Improve your mood 
• Reduce stress, anxiety and depression
• Improve your sleep 
• Reduce loneliness and feelings of isolation

Given the power of touch and that it's essential to our well-being, is it any wonder that so many people are feeling sad and depressed because they're touch deprived?

Coping With Touch Deprivation

Following CDC guidelines about social distancing is crucial during this global pandemic.  

At the same time, while it's normal to struggle with the loss of touch, you can find other ways to build connection and reduce social isolation (see my article: Undoing Feelings of Aloneness During the COVID-19 Pandemic).

• Video Chats: If you're isolated during the COVID-19 pandemic, one way to reduce feelings of loneliness and isolation is to reach out to loved ones through online video chats.  Mirror neurons, which are neurons in the brain that are activated to create an empathic response when we look at others, helps us to feel socially connected. So, being able to connect through video chat can help to mitigate feelings of sadness and loneliness.  

• Phone Calls and Looking at Photos of Loved Ones: Even if you can't connect via video chat, you can also experience the same empathic response if you look at a loved one's picture while talking to him or her on the phone.  

• Imagination: If neither video chats or phone calls are possible, using your imagination to envision yourself hugging or being hugged by a loved one can also be comforting.

• Journal Writing: Expressing your feelings in a journal can help relieve the stress and loneliness you're experiencing (see my article: Journal Writing Can Help Relieve Stress and Anxiety).

Getting Help in Therapy

Many people have been reaching out for help during this stressful time.

If you're feeling overwhelmed, know that you're not alone.  

A licensed psychotherapist can help you to navigate through this difficult time. So rather than struggling on your own, reach out for help and emotional support.  

Getting emotional support in therapy can make all the difference in helping you to improve your mood and general sense of well-being.

About Me

I am a licensed NYC psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT and Somatic Experiencing therapist (see my article: The Therapeutic Benefits of Integrative Psychotherapy).

I work with individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Undoing Aloneness: Staying Socially Connected Even Though We're Physically Disconnected

Health experts have stressed the importance of remaining physically distant from each other by at least 6 feet during the COVID-19 crisis, but this doesn't mean that we can't find ways to be socially connected in other ways.  In fact, due to our need for meaningful connections with others, our overall health and psychological well-being depend on us being able to form these connections with our loved ones.  As part of my effort to undoing aloneness with my clients, I'm doing online therapy sessions (see my article: Emotional Support During the COVID-19 Crisis).

Online Therapy Sessions: Undoing Aloneness During the COVID-19 Crisis 

Expriential Therapy vs. Traditional Psychotherapy

AEDP, which was developed by Diana Fosha, Ph.D., stands for Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy, emphasizes the importance of "undoing aloneness" as part of healing trauma.

As a trauma therapist, I know that psychological trauma isn't just about a traumatic event or series of events that occurred.

What often makes traumatic events harmful is that the individual who experienced the trauma often went through it alone (see my article: Experiential Therapy and the Mind-Body Connection). 

In AEDP, the experience of going through a traumatic event feeling emotionally alone is often referred to as "unbearable aloneness." This doesn't mean that there weren't other people around at the time.

There might have been family members or other loved ones around during traumatic events, but the person who experienced the trauma often felt alone, misunderstood, emotionally invalidated or "invisible" to others (see my article: Growing Up Feeling Invisible and Emotionally Invalidated)

So, as an experiential therapist who uses AEDP, EMDR therapy, clinical hypnosis and Somatic Experiencing, I strive to be a supportive and an interactive presence with my clients so they feel that I'm resonating with them in their therapy sessions in a meaningful way (see my article: Experietial Therapy: Why Having Insight and an Understanding of Your Problems Isn't Enough).

The old tradtional way of working with clients where therapists were expected to be "abstinent and neutral" in their engagement with clients doesn't work.  This is especially true for clients who have experienced traumatic events.

Since they usually went through their traumatic experiences feeling alone, unheard and unseen, it's crucial that they don't experience a replication of these experiences in their therapy.

Experiential therapy tends to be a "bottom up" therapy vs. traditional talk therapy, which tends to be a "top down" therapy (see my article: Experiential Therapy: What's the Difference Between Top Down and Bottom Up Therapy?) 

Experiential therapists not only convey a positive regard for clients--they also try to resonate with clients and let the clients know that they're there for them in ways that clients have a "felt sense" of in their sessions.  In other words, clients, who have experiential therapists, usually feel their therapist's caring and positive feelings towards them.

For many clients, who experienced more traditional forms of therapy, this might be a new experience.  However, most of them find it a welcome experience where they no longer feel isolated in their emotional pain.

As I mentioned earlier, since in-person therapy sessions aren't possible during the COVID-19 crisis, I am now providing online therapy sessions on Zoom on a confidential platform.  Athough we cannot be in the same room together, we can still feel connected with each other online, and many clients have expressed that they're surprised at just how connected they feel in their online sessions.

What Can You Do to Achieve Physical Isolation and Social Connection?

Being physically distant from your loved ones can be very challenging, especially if you live alone.

I prefer the term "physical isolation" rather than "social isolation."  I find the term "social isolation" to be somewhat of a misnomer in terms of what's possible during this time.

Whether you connect via online services like Zoom, Skype, Facetime or other online platforms, being able to see and connect with your friends and loved ones can make all the difference in undoing your feelings of aloneness.

Some people are organizing book club meetings, comedy groups, improv groups, storytelling events or other social events online to create a feeling of community and a feelng of connectedness, which is so important now.

If you don't have access to online services, phone calls are the next best thing.  Last night I received a call from a relative that I haven't spoken with in a while.  As soon as I heard her voice, I felt myself transported back to our times together when we were children.  And, despite the current crisis, we were able to talk and laugh about some our memories together.

Just knowing that she was thinking about me and cared enough to call really made me feel loved and cared about in a special way, especially since we share a family history that goes back to when we were children.  This is a special relationship, and I was glad to hear that she and the rest of the family there are all doing well.

I've also maintained contact by phone and online services with friends and colleagues and this has made a difference in undoing the aloneness of this time.

Getting Help in Therapy

During this crisis, as I mentioned, I'm providing online sessions through Zoom.

If you're feeling overwhelmed, rather than trying to get through it by yourself, you can contact a licensed psychotherapist who is providing online services.

Your overall health and psychological well-being can be negatively affected during this time, so reach out for help from a licensed mental health practitioner sooner rather than later.  You'll be glad that you did.

About Me

I am a licensed NYC psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP and Somatic Experiencing therapist (see my article: 

I work with individual adults and couples (EFT couple therapy).

I'm currently providing online sessions during the current COVID-19 crisis.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Coping with Loneliness and Isolation During the COVID-19 Crisis

In the past, I have written about loneliness and social isolation (see my article: Overcoming Loneliness and Social Isolation).

Coping with Loneliness and Isolation During the COVID-19 Crisis

During the COVID-19 crisis, one of the biggest challenges, along with staying physically health is social distancing and isolating in our homesd, which often creates loneliness.

As social beings, we need social engagement with other people, but it is very important that we limit our social contact based on the restrictions in our particular state (see my articles: Coping and Staying Calm During the COVID-19 Crisis).

The Negative Impact of Loneliness and Social Isolation
Loneliness and social isolation, even under normal circumstances, can have adverse health and mental health effects, including:

• Memory problems
• Learning problems
• Poor decision making
• Altered brain function
• Depression
• Increased stress
• Insomnia
• Weight gain due to sedentary behavior
• Cardiovascular disease and stroke
• Progression of dementia
• Alcoholism, drug problems, increased nicotine abuse, compulsive gambling, overeating and other related addictive and compulsive behavior (see my articles: )
• Antisocial behavior
• And other related issues

Even before the current health crisis, loneliness was already a health and mental health problem for people who are isolated, including the elderly and the disabled.  According to recent studies, loneliness has tripled since 1985.

So, given the negatiave effects of loneliness, we need to find other creative ways to stay in contact with loved ones if they're not present in our household.

Combating Loneliness
Even though social distancing during this time presents a unique challenge to feeling lonely and isolated, there are things you can do to mitigate the effects of loneliness (see my article: Solitude vs Loneliness), including:

• Video Chats: The next best thing to being with loved ones in person is video chat.  There are many free apps, like Zoom, Skype, What's App and other similar services where you can video chat with loved ones.  All of these services offer a free version of video chat.  Being able to see a loved ones face while you speak with them can be soothing and reassuring for both of you.  You can choose to set up a regular time when you can video chat with loved ones to check in and mitigate loneliness and isolation.
• Phone Calls: If video chat isn't available to you or if you don't like chatting online, simple phone calls to talk for a few minutes can really help you and your love to feel more connected.  Reaching out to a friend or family member that you haven't spoken to in a while can be reassuring to them and to you.
• Digital Support Groups: If you're connected to a community where the participants have a mutual interest, you can maintain contact with them online to feel supported and engaged through digital support groups.
• Expressions of Kindness and Concern: When you're on someone's social media site, whether it's Facebook or any other social media platform, it only takes a moment to reach out to that person with a kind remark, an expression of appreciation or an inquiry as to how that person is doing.  It feels good to do this and it also feels good for the person on the other hand who receives your kind expression. 

Getting Help in Therapy
Loneliness and social isolation can contribute to or exacerbate existing emotional problems, including depression and anxiety.

If you're feeling overwhelmed, many psychotherapists are conducting online sessions for clients, and you could benefit from getting professional help rather than allowing your emotional problems to get worse.

If you're feel suicidal, you should call 911 to get immediate help.

About Me
I am a licensed NYC psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR and Somatic Experiencing therapist who works with individuals and couples (Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples).

Currently, I am doing therapy with phone sessions and Zoom online video sessions for clients in New York State.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Coping and Staying Calm During the COVID-19 Crisis

The worldwide pandemic of COVID-19 has been unprecendented in terms of the human health toll it has had as well as the emotional strain it has placed on nearly everyone.  Learning to cope and stay calm during this extraordinary time is essential.

Coping and Staying Calm During the COVID-19 Crisis

Aside from the reliable health tips that are being recommended by medical professionals, here are some helpful tips for coping and staying calm.

Tips For Coping and Staying Calm During the Current Crisis:

• Set Up a Routine for Yourself During this Health Emergency: As much as possible, try to set up a daily routine for yourself.  It's easy to fall into the habit of staying in bed all day in your pajamas watching the news or other TV programs.  Rather than falling into habits that will only make you feel more anxious, have a routine for waking up, doing indoor exercise that is appropriate for you, and accomplishing tasks that you need to complete.
• Take Breaks From Watching or Reading the News: While it's important to remain informed, you will only make yourself that much more anxious if you spend most of the day watching or reading about the news.  Take regular breaks. Get up, stretch, call a friend or engage in an unrelated calming activity.
• Connect With Others: It's easy to feel isolated and lonely when you're unable to see friends, family and other loved ones in person.  Make an effort to connect over the phone or online with loved ones.  Even connecting a few minutes for mutual support can make a big difference in how you feel.  Check in regularly with your loved ones.  Even those who are physically well can feel lonely (see my article: Solitude vs Feeling Lonely).

Connect With Friends, Family and Loved Ones

• Take Time to Unwind and De-Stress:  Whether you do a simple breathing exercise or close your eyes and remember a time and place where you felt relaxed, taking the time to unwind and manage your stress is important (see my article: Self Soothing Techniques to Use to Calm Yourself).
• Get Enough Sleep and Eat Nutriously: Getting 7-8 hours sleep, taking naps during the day as needed, and eating nutritious meals is important for maintaining good health.  To get a restful sleep, avoid watching or reading the news before you go to sleep.  Instead, develop a calming wind down routine at least a half hour before you plan to go to sleep.
• Keep Things in Perspective: Recognize that this crisis will inevitably come to an end at some point.  

Getting Help in Therapy
Many psychotherapists are doing phone and online sessions for clients during this time when they cannot see clients in person.

If you find your anxiety becoming unmanageable, you can seek help from a psychotherapist in your area--even if it's on a temporary basis to get you through this difficult time.

About Me
I am a licensed NYC psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR and Somatic Experiencing therapist who works with individuals and couples.

Since the COVID-19 crisis, I have been providing telephone and online sessions for clients who live in New York State.

Some sliding scale or reduced fees are available for new clients based on availability at the time you contact me, your household income and whether you will receive a reimbursement from out of network insurance.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.