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Having dreams about deceased loved ones is a common experience for many people (see my article: Common Reactions to the Loss of a Loved One).
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| Reconnected With Deceased Loved Ones in Dreams |
Some people believe loved ones come to them in dreams to reconnect or to impart an important message.
Others believe these dreams come from a place deep inside them as a way to remember and mourn their loss.
Whatever you believe, these dreams can be an important part of your healing process as way to come to terms with your loss.
A Child's Recurring Dreams About a Deceased Father
When I was a child, I had recurring dreams about my father, who died suddenly (see my article: Grief in Waiting After the Death of a Parent).
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| Reconnecting With Deceased Loves Ones in Dreams |
Each dream was slightly different, but there were certain recurring themes.
One recurring theme was that I would be shocked to see my father appear suddenly in front of me. I would be happy to see him, but I would also feel confused and I would say to him, "But I thought you were dead..."
In some of the dreams he would tell me he had just gone away and now he was back, and in other dreams he would acknowledge that he was dead.
Whichever response I received would confuse me: How could he be dead and still be standing in front of me?
Then, at some point, I would tell my father I wanted to let my mother know he was back. But when I turned around, he was gone and I felt the painful loss again.
Many clients tell me how real these dreams feel to them and I know this from my own experience.
Each person comes to their own understanding of the meaning of their dreams.
Looking back now, I believe these dreams were a way for my unconscious mind to work through the loss when my conscious mind couldn't make sense of it (see my article: Making the Unconscious Conscious).
In other words, my unconscious mind helped with the healing process.
Many years later, when I was ready, a skilled psychotherapist helped me with a deeper level of working through the grief (see my article: The Many Layers of Grief).
Dreams About a Deceased Psychotherapist
Over the years I've had dreams about a psychotherapist who was important in my healing process as a young adult.
In some of those dreams, I talked to the therapist about current issues in my life.
In those dreams it was as if he were still very much alive and I was having a therapy session to talk over a problem.
I usually wake up feeling a little wistful but also refreshed.
After I wake up, I allow myself to enjoy the experience of the dream without analyzing the meaning--at least not at first.
For me, allowing myself to linger in the experience of this reconnection with someone who was so important to me during my youth is more meaningful (initially) than an analyzing the dream. There's always time for that later, if I want it.
Conclusion
There are many ways to grieve and work through the loss of a loved one including healing through dreams (see my articles: Writing About Your Mother After Her Death).
Although not all dreams about deceased loved ones are healing, the ones that are can help with the grief and mourning process.
It doesn't matter whether you believe your loved one actually came to you or you believe the dream was your unconscious mind's way of helping you to deal with the loss. Either belief can help in the healing process.
Recalling, writing down and talking about these dreams with trusted friends and family can help you to cope with loss.
Although dreams can be healing, sometimes grief is too difficult to work through on your own and therapy can help.
Getting Help in Therapy
Time alone doesn't heal all wounds (see my article: Time Doesn't Heal All Wounds).
Grief work in therapy can help you to move through the mourning process at a pace that feels right for you.
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| Getting Help in Therapy |
Rather than struggling on your own, seek help from a skilled psychotherapist who does grief work with clients.
Working through grief can help you to heal from the pain and live a more fulfilling life.
Also See My Other Articles About Grief:
About Me
I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT (for couples), Somatic Experiencing and Sex Therapist.
With over 20 years of experience, I have helped many individuals and couples to heal.
To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.
To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.
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