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While it's understandable that people want to feel better, feeling better isn't always a good reason to stop therapy--especially when there is unresolved trauma that remains unaddressed (see my article: Why Do Clients Leave Therapy Prematurely?).
Sometimes people leave therapy because they're afraid to deal with the emotions that come up when they do deeper work in therapy.
Many of them have never learned to deal with uncomfortable emotions so, rather than talk to their therapist about this, they leave, but their problems remain unresolved (see my article: A "Flight Into Health" As An Escape From Therapy).
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| Leaving Therapy Prematurely |
Clinical Vignette
The following clinical vignette which is, as always, a composite of many different cases to protect confidentiality, illustrates why feeling better isn't always a good reason to leave therapy:
Bob
Bob, who was in his mid-30s, started therapy after his girlfriend left him. He was heartbroken and the breakup triggered feelings of abandonment from his early unresolved childhood trauma when his father left the family unexpectedly.
Bob began doing trauma therapy to deal with his current feelings of abandonment by his girlfriend as well as the earlier unresolved trauma.
After attending therapy for a few weeks, Bob met Marie at a party. After a couple of weeks of dating Marie, he had all the "feel good" emotions people experience during the honeymoon phase of a relationship.
When Bob went to his next therapy session, he told his therapist he wanted to leave therapy. He said he no longer wanted to work on his earlier trauma because he was "feeling better."
His therapist explained to Bob why it would be beneficial to complete the therapy. She told him that, even though he felt better at that point, his underlying abandonment issues were still present--even though he didn't feel them at that moment because he was head over heels for Marie.
Bob decided to leave therapy against his therapist's advice. He was feeling great--until his relationship with Marie fell apart three months later when she told him she no longer wanted to see him. Then, all his old abandonment feelings came rushing back and he felt worse than before.
When he returned to his trauma therapist, he returned with a much deeper understanding of what she told him before he left therapy a few months before. This time he made a commitment to stay in therapy to work through his unresolved childhood abandonment issues.
He understood at that point that "feeling better" due to external circumstances was not a reason for him to drop out of therapy.
Conclusion
It might sound counterintuitive that "feeling better" isn't always a good reason to leave therapy. But when leaving therapy is based on external reasons and unresolved trauma doesn't get worked through, the trauma remains an underlying issue until it gets triggered again.
It might take longer than you anticipate to work through unresolved trauma, especially if there was a long pattern of childhood trauma, but keeping your commitment to work through these issues will help you in the long run to stop getting triggered.
Getting Help in Trauma Therapy
If you have been struggling on your own with unresolved trauma, you owe it to yourself to get help from a licensed mental health professional who has an expertise in trauma work.
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| Getting Help in Trauma Therapy |
Living free from your trauma history can help you to live a more meaningful life.
About Me
I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT, Somatic Experiencing and Sex Therapist.
With over 20 years of experience as a trauma therapist, I have helped individual adults and couples to work through unresolved trauma.
To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.
To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.
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