NYC Psychotherapist Blog

power by WikipediaMindmap

Thursday, September 12, 2019

Are You Thinking About Canceling Your Therapy Session Because You're Having a Good Day?

In a prior article, I discussed scenarios where clients left therapy prematurely before they completed their work in therapy (see my article: When Clients Leave Therapy Prematurely).  In this article, I'm focusing on clients who think about canceling their therapy session when they're having a good day.

Are You Thinking About Canceling Your Therapy Session Because You're Having a Good Day? 

You might wonder why it would be a problem to cancel your therapy session when you're feeling good, and this is a legitimate question, especially for people who are new to therapy.

The following factors will help you to develop a deeper, more comprehensive perspective about therapy, which goes beyond being in crisis, and why canceling when you're feeling good might not be a good idea:
  • Many people only seek help in therapy when they're in an emotional crisis.  Once the crisis is over, they leave therapy.  But even though you might not be in an emotional crisis anymore, if you have only focused on the latest crisis, you've only touched the surface of the problem.  Beyond developing insight into the problem, you need time and help to integrate and consolidate what you've learned about yourself and the situation.  You also need assistance to maintain new healthy coping strategies that you just learned in therapy.  If not, you're likely to find yourself in a similar (if not exact) emotional crisis again soon.  The people, places and particular circumstances might be a little different with the new crisis, but the underlying issues, which haven't been resolved, are probably the same (see my article: Remaining in Therapy Beyond the Immediate Crisis).
  • When you consider canceling a session, you might be avoiding issues in therapy that are emerging and that are frightening to you.  Rather than avoiding these issues, speak to your therapist about it.  A discussion with your therapist could help you to understand what's frightening you.  It will also help your therapist to understand that you might not be ready to tackle these issues head on but, instead, you might need some preparation and the development of additional coping skills to be able to, eventually, work through the issues that are frightening you.  If your therapist is a trauma therapist, she can help you to break down the work into manageable pieces so that you're not delving too deep into the worst aspects of the problem before you're ready.
  • Having a "good day" is often a welcomed relief, especially if you've had many emotionally challenging days before that.  However, one "good day" doesn't mean that your problems are all worked out, and "feeling good" isn't a good measurement by itself of your progress in therapy.  Change often comes by taking two steps forward and one step back, so a "good day" or two is often followed by a setback.
If you think you have worked through the problem that brought you into therapy, discuss this with your therapist rather than just leaving without telling her (see my article: Why Ghosting Your Therapist is Harmful to You).

Of course, the decision to stay or go is up to you, but your therapist can shed light on the process and help you to terminate therapy in a way that's healthy and helpful to you.

Getting Help in Therapy
Many people have outdated views of the therapy process (see my articles:  Common Myths About Psychotherapy: Going to Therapy Means You're Weak and Common Myths About Psychotherapy: Therapy Takes a Long Time).

Although there are certain people who enjoy coming to therapy, learning about themselves and having a time and place that's dedicated just to them to talk about what's going on in their lives, some people come to deal with a specific issue.  They might want to remove obstacles that are getting in the way of making changes, develop insight into certain emotional patterns or deal with an unresolved trauma that is affecting them now.

Psychotherapy has evolved over the last decade, and there are now experiential therapy modalities, like EMDR therapy, AEDP (Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy), Somatic Experiencing, clinical hypnosis and other experiential therapies that tend to be more effective than regular talk therapy.

If you're unfamiliar with these newer experiential therapies, feel free to browse the articles in my blog that discuss how and why these types of therapy are more effective (see my articles: Why Experiential Therapy is More Effective Than Regular Talk Therapy and Experiential Therapy, Like EMDR Therapy, Helps to Achieve Emotional Breakthroughs).

Rather than waiting until a problem develops into an emotional crisis, you owe it to yourself to seek help from a licensed mental health professional.

Once you have worked through your problems, you will have freed yourself from your history, and you will be free to live a more fulfilling life.

About Me
I am a licensed NYC psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, Somatic Experiencing and Emotionally Focused (EFT) therapist (see my article: The Therapeutic Benefits of Integrative Psychotherapy).

I work with individual adults and couples (see my article: How to Choose a Psychotherapist).

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.